Translator's Note:

Another update from me…

The Chapters in One Liter Of Tears Diary

Chapter 1- My Family (14 Years Old)

Chapter 2- Enduring my sickness (15 Years Old)

Chapter 3- The start of my problems (16 Years old)

Chapter 4- I can't sing anymore (17 Years Old)

Chapter 5- The truth (18 Years Old)

Chapter 6- Maybe there isn't any cure at all (19 Years Old)

Chapter 7- I don't want to give up (20 Years Old)

Chapter 8- Life's Limit (21 Years Old)


The Blank 2 Hours (While waiting at the candy shop)

During this terrible 2 hours, I have to force myself looking at the people walking in and out and forcing myself to listen to words that are not meaningful. Sigh… Time is just wasted like that….
Although taking a public bus to school can be also boring, but I can still feel (Human Activities) are very strong. Apart from that, I can also see the sceneries of the two side surroundings, store displaying fruits… and the atmosphere of the season.

While I am walking (Of course with friends holding me), at that point of time, I felt someone was looking at me. I cannot help but walk faster and faster. I even fold up my collar. Then suddenly, I heard someone saying something that hit me really hard and made me so depressed.
" So Pitiful…. Is that child a disabled"


I don't want to grow-up

Harsh words come out of my mom's mouth as I cry endlessly.

"Showing thoughts through crying is what a baby does! You're making high school students look bad!"

I became even more miserable and continued to cry (like a small lamb in the forest).

Dear Emi-chan (my cousin),

Emi-chan, why is Aya such a crybaby? Why cannot laugh naturally, as I used to? I want to go back to the past!

I want to make a time machine and ride it to go back to the past. Watch myself run, walk, roll around, and play with you... but then I come back to reality.

Do I really have to come back to reality?

I don't want to grow up!

Time...please stop! Tears...stop falling!

Ahh...Aya just cannot seem to stop crying.

It's already 9PM. Time will continue to move even if I break all the clocks in the world.

I can't stop time as long as I live.

It's not about giving up... I just can't do anything about it.

I love walking on the road.

In 7th grade, I walked 5km from my house to the audio-visual center.

If I pick up flowers as I walk, and look up at the blue sky, it is not painful to walk at all.

I loved walking more than riding a bicycle or a car.

Only if I can walk on my own...

One friend says that she feels like a bad kid when she's alone. Another friend says that she feels most like her human-self, when she's alone just day dreaming.

When I am alone...I don't like being alone, being alone is scary!

I wonder what my purpose of life is.

People always help me, but I can't do anything in return.

To me, studying is my source of life, but I can't find anything that is more important.

I can't walk the hallway which is only 3 meters.

Can't a human live only with their mind?

Can't I walk using only my upper half of the body?

I want to be like the air. The good-hearted person whose kindness overflows and people realize how important she was to them, once she is gone.

I want to be that kind of person.

We had a seat change in class, and now I'm sitting in the front row.

I need to plan out which path to take when I'm late for class. I need to be careful with my health or else I'll yawn, get a stuffy nose, and feel sick.

For snack, I ate baked sweet potato. It was really good.

It's only 2:30 but it seems like the sun is setting.

I didn't notice how most of the sakura leaves from the Inari Mountain had fallen.

Oh that reminds me! The school's maidenhair (ichou no ki) tree is turning!

Walking... by holding onto my friend's shoulders and the wall of the hallway, I fall when I look up.

Today is open house. I am glad my parents didn't come. I just don't seem to like the mothers.

I get frustrated and my tears start to drop when they look at me from top to bottom with those discriminating eyes that say "There's a handicap person."

Who would ever choose to have this kind of body! I couldn't help it, but to cry at dinner, when I was thinking about those mothers who came to open house.

I know it's no use crying, I'm sorry mother.

I went to parent-teacher conference with my mom. If I try a little harder in math, I would be in top class! Let's do it Aya-chan!

It's 11:00. I can see the half-moon smiling through the east window.

I wonder if I can pray if I turn off the light.

Living with my healthy classmates, I sometimes feel an uncontrollable frustration. It sucks.

But, when you look at it in another way, this frustration becomes a motivation for me to study harder.

I love Higashi-kou (Aichiken-ritsu Toyohashi Higashi High School), my teacher, S-chan, Y-ko-chan, M-e-chan, I love everyone.

I also love my senpai who gave me a chocolate when I was waiting at the candy shop!


Reviews are appreciated...