Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Title: Perish in the Name of Passion
Summary: Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plenitude, Oscar Wilde. Henry had spared Anne from beheading. But on the last day, he had unknowingly let go of two lives. It will be six years later that they are reunited, but have their feelings changed enough to give them a second chance at love?
Chapter 11
If he wanted to be honest - and there were not many times of them - he had his doubt every now and then concerning his decision. After all, who was he trying to fool? Charles had been his friend for so long that he could almost not remember it anymore. He had known him his whole life, they spent their boyhood together, having shared many adventures as only little young boys could and thereafter, even when imaginary wars turned real and battles did not always end in victory and instead of mud, it was blood that they were covered in, Charles had always been there.
Doubts were nagging on his conscience.
Henry wondered whether he was doing the right thing. More often than not, it would lead him to further questions, like the reason why he had to undergo such drastic measures and whether this drastic measure was actually justified by the reason, the crime he had committed. To do so, he would have to know it actually or rather, he had to admit the reason, something he was not quite ready for and thus, he was sentenced to this time of wondering, as long as he was in denial.
"Your Majesty, the Lady Anne Bassett."
A small smile appeared on his face, somewhere between genuine and fake, as the name of his latest mistress reached his ear. He watched her delicate form enter his study; her dark brown hair was falling openly. Those sweetly pink lips of her were turned up into a sassy smile, while her brown eyes were fixed on him. Henry liked the bold look in her eyes; it gave him a warm feeling in his chest. However, at times, such as this today, it irritated him, as there was this burning feeling in his chest that told him of the wrongfulness of it all.
There was something wrong in the way it looked at him, or there was something wrong in her look, anything, and yet, it was nothing actually, since her eyes never changed. Those brown, seductively watching eyes.
At those times, he would look away, in the same fashion as he averted his eyes back to his paper, pretending that they were of more important matters, which they were.
"My King."
She was probably bowing down to him by now and if he would have looked up, he would have gotten a wonderful sight on the cleavage that she further emphasized by tightening her corset even more. He knew her efforts were especially made for him, and usually he would have appreciated it, but today...
Today he just did not felt like it.
"Lady Bassett, what is it that you seek?"
He was turning cold again. It was a task of which he was a master.
"Your Majesty," her purred.
She walked up to him, even though she did not have his permission. Yet, considering that he had made her his mistress, he had done so in a way.
As Henry contemplated this choice in his mind, he felt his hand covered by her own. The touch surprised him and he could not help but to finally look up to her brown eyes. He frowned.
She smiled nonetheless, as she finally got his attention.
"I had missed you, Your Majesty. I was so lonely during the time you did not come, especially during the night."
"Was that the reason you came to me?"
She let herself be seated on his lap, wrapping her arm around his neck. He had once enjoyed her brazenness, the lack of protocol and especially the lack of demureness in her manner. Once, he had favored her over his wife, like he had favored Jane over Anne.
"Have you missed me?"
"I was busy."
"Then perhaps I shall entertain you with something more interesting than those works." Henry wanted to protest and yet, he was stopped by her next words. "It seems that the Marquess of Pembroke, as well as the Duke of Suffolk tend to forget to shield their door against the curious ears of the servants."
"You were spying on them?"
She smirked, proud of her own self.
So that was it...
"I was coincidentally on my way past the Duke's chamber, in search for some maid, as the Queen had requested. I had not noticed until I overheard their conversation."
"What is it exactly that you overheard?"
Who would have known...
"I think the more interesting thing is rather what I did not hear, my King," she giggled again. "I dared to peak into his Duke's chamber, I hope you will not punish me for my actions," she said with an enticing proposal.
"Carry on," he demanded.
"Your Majesty, it was such a sweet sight, although I could not see much, I believe that the Marquess was lying on his lap. He was cuddling her or at least, he was embracing her. It seemed very cozy, though the only thing it rendered me was to miss you more."
She started to plant kisses all over cheek.
"Did you hear what the words they exchanged?"
"Hm... I cannot remember quite well anymore," she replied with a sigh. She halted with her kisses, and remained still for a small moment. Henry waited for her next reaction. "But perhaps you can ask them later on, if your Majesty was in the mood to take a walk in the garden, perhaps with me? It is such a beautiful weather and it seems that the Marquess and the Duke share my opinion. They-"
He blacked the following words of his mistress out. He turned his head towards his window, as much as was possible, since there was a heavy burden weighing on him. Indeed, it seemed that Anne was on a stroll, the Duke was apparently accompanying her on her walk, but what was even more obvious to him and the only thing he could concentrate on, somehow, was the expression on her face.
There was so much distance between them. Him and Anne.
It was weird, how the sound of their names together in a sentence seemed now so strange to him, when at one time, she was all that he could think about. Back then, she had plagued his every thought, with no woman ever able to push her from his mind. Oh, how enticed, how bewitched he had been of her.
But despite the distance between them, he could clearly outline the happiness that radiated from her. Whenever she was happy, feeling too carefree, she would glow. Not as much as she would during her pregnancy, nor was it on the same level. It was different, yet just as mesmerizing. She was just was enchanting and breathtaking, very much in the same way he was holding his breath right now.
The Lady Bassett, believing it was due to her continuous stroke of amorous attention she placed on him, placated his skin with her lip's touch.
The King barely registered her and her actions, barely feeling her hot hand leaving a cold imprint on his skin, with cold blood running through his veins. Instead, he was focused on the sight transpiring in front of him. She seemed so serene, her arm tucked in with Charles' arm. Her gait carefree, there was no one watching or following them, no trace of grey trouble tainting her aura.
Perhaps this was the reason for their carelessness.
But Henry could care less.
His eyes were following them, their every move.
He watched how Charles leaned in to her, whispering something in her ear, maybe? Was it something sweet or something funny? It was hard to tell. But it was Anne, who laughed, the unpredictable woman he had once fallen for. He could not see much, but he could imagine the way her lips turned up, more of a condescending smirk than a smile, leaving the man, who caused this to forever tie himself to her.
He then watched her disentangle herself from him. Indeed, it seemed that Charles had done something to insult her. Anne walked in front of Charles, stopping him from continuing their walk. She put her hand on her hips, her upper body leaned forward to him and she was probably saying something to him that was meant to be witty, teasingly and yet so pure. He knew it. After all, he remembered how the both of them, as sophisticated and intellectual as they were, pushed each other's button and pushed and pushed until they had no place to push into anymore but their bed. She had her way with words, for if not, Charles would not be throwing his head back and laugh wholeheartedly.
Anne was still standing in front of him, one hand now laying on her chest and she too was laughing with him. It was disheartening to see her smile, but even more so to see her laugh. That beautiful sight accompanied with an even more beautiful tune that had at times reminded him of the ring of heavenly bells, always reminding him so many times what a great gift the angels had bestowed upon him.
The next time he would throw his eyes back at the scene was that transpiring in his garden, he would see the both of them in a tight embrace.
Anne had probably thrown herself into his arms or probably it was Charles that forced her between his arms. He was holding her into the air, though his two arms pressed tightly around her, pushing her into his chest. Henry could recall those memories of how well their bodies melted together. Anne's feet were dangling from the ground, but she as well, was embracing him.
Henry would close his eyes at their sight. His ears would still be filled with the magnificent sound of her laughter, which kept bringing him images of a past he had once been just too eager to bury. In all those images, her laughter was the music and her eyes the play of the story, the one thing everything revolved around. Beautiful blue eyes, burning with passion and anger, tender and -
He could still feel the hand of his mistress on his body, his shirt was torn open, while she planted many kisses on his chest. Her mouth was leaving a trail of sweet kisses, always more and more further down. The thick sound of their lips touching, or the sound of two skins contacting was not enough to put that melodious song from his mind.
With astonishment, he realized that he felt no desire to.
Instead, there was something else inside him that fought to come to the surface. It was like a lock and a key, and the melody was the key to unlocking every desire, every truth and every lie that he had hidden deeply inside him.
Right now, he felt only one thing.
Henry opened his eyes. He grabbed his mistress' head and kissed her fervently on her lips. He pushed her body against the window, whilst continuing kissing her.
"Anne," he whispered her name, his hands moving in its own accord, in the same familiar rhythm as he had always known. He was keeping his eyes open, for he wanted to see everything.
He wanted to see her beautiful blue eyes.
Now there was no doubt in his mind anymore.
"You are insufferable," she proclaimed, however her statement was discredited by her following laughter.
"I insist, my fair lady, it is nothing but according the truth."
"Are you really trying to make a fool out of me?"
"Are you adamant on not giving my words any belief?"
Anne shook her head and continued to walk, with Charles following closely nearby.
"It is of no matter; I have to get back to my chamber anyhow."
"So soon, do you not want to enjoy the rare fine weather we have been blessed with today?" Charles asked her, but Anne shook continued to shake her head.
"No, today I had wanted to write a letter to my Elizabeth, as enough days had passed since I received it and I shall not worry my daughter by not responding early enough."
"Then I shall accompany you to your chamber."
Anne smiled and consented.
A few days had passed since they had made up and Anne felt so much better, each day seemed to get better. Her heart felt lighter, there was no more heavy burden on her heart whenever she took a step and when she walked, she did not feel the need to stiffen because of the heavy load on her shoulder. Indeed, even the fact that she was back at court did not appear as terrible as it had been before.
She wondered whether it was because she was getting used to it.
She looked to Charles and Anne could not help but smile.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked her, when he noticed her stare.
"No," she shook her head in gentle denial. "Everything is just... fine."
"Fine?" he repeated in an incredulous astonishment.
"I do feel ... content."
She laughed gently at her own words.
Charles stared in disbelief at her. He had a hard time wrapping his head around that thought and usually, he would have questioned her on that matter. However, when he starred at her, how light she seemed, how easy she carried herself with and just so carefree, it came to his mind that perhaps it was the better choice to leave it be.
Who was he to complain, when she was happy and after all, that was all that mattered to him. He could care less for the reason, as long as he was able to see her beautiful smile or even hear her joyous laughter, like he had done so recently back in the garden, he was content as well.
He took her hand in his own. Anne, startled, watched Charles, as he put her delicate finger beneath his lips.
"It gladdens me to hear that," he exclaimed.
It was not the first time that Charles had displayed affections beyond their line of friendship, but it was the first time that Anne did nothing to prevent him from doing so and she was even more frankly, it was the first time that she did not actually mind. But the only thing she admitted or allowed herself to admit was that she was fine with his affection.
It did not frighten her anymore.
She wondered whether she should be worried.
"When you write the letter to Elizabeth, would you do me a favor and-" She was mesmerized by the gentleness, her ears peaked at the tentatively spoken words from him that she barely took notice of the man that approached them.
"Your Grace, His Majesty requests your presence."
She was not sure what exactly had triggered her reaction, whether it was the mention of him or the presence of the servant, but she had not had the time to contemplate on it thoroughly, as she already withdrawn her hand from him with a jerk.
"What does His Majesty want?" Charles questioned coldly.
Anne flinched from his tone inwardly, but like him, she kept her cool facade with bravery on.
"I am not sure, he merely told me that it was of utmost importance, a state affair."
Charles sighed in frustration.
"Anne-"
"I will retreat to my chamber, gentlemen."
She bid goodbye to the both of them and turned around.
Charles felt his heart clench, a terrible dread invading his body and regret.
My dear Elizabeth,
It is most glorious to hear your reply. To know that you and my beloved Darien are faring well fills my heart with a serene peace I missed since my departure from you -
Anne wondered whether she shall tell Elizabeth of the latest occurrence at court, on what to fill her in and what not. However, it did not require a long time for her to make up her mind. For although her daughter was her greatest confidant, she was after all still her daughter, whom she loved above all and like every mother, she felt the need to shield her daughter from any harm. And that included the tainting schemes of the royal palace. Those lies that lied behind those walls were far too much to bear for an innocent soul as that of her daughter.
My heart aches for you though the thought of seeing you keeps me going, it never ceases to remind me the lack of your presence in my life and there is nothing I wish more for than to be there for you. Thus forgive me -
Anne flinched. She looked at her last letter with a frown, as she noticed how the e was now adorned with an elongated scratch. Still frowning and deeply unpleased, she turned around, ready to demand from any servant who dared to disturb her serenity, when she had in fact insisted on being alone, the reason for their audacity.
"Charles?"
He came back sooner than she had believed he would return. In fact, she had not expected him to arrive at her chambers either, as she had made no invitation for him. Although it was not as though it had stopped him before either.
"What are you doing here?"
Only now, when she was scrutinizing him more closely did she notice how frantic he looked. It was not easily detected, but his hair was too disheveled, his posture too stiff and his expression far too grim that it would leave her with no worry.
"Is something the matter?"
Her brow was furrowed in worry, as she starred at him. He opened his mouth and she expected him to say something, after all, it appeared as though he got something to say. Yet, a sigh was the only sound that escaped his mouth.
"Charles...?"
Worry, like a seed that had already been planted the moment he was thrown her door open, now blossomed wonderfully into dread and Anne felt her heart ache heavily against her chest.
"Anne..." Again, she was waiting in vain. "I should not have come here."
Abruptly, Charles turned around and headed towards the door again. Anne, confused about what was transpiring, barely had the time to clearly think about her actions and so, she did the first thing that came to her mind.
"Charles, please wait!"
Had she really expected of him to head her words and wait?
Again, she had not really thought much about it and yet, she was relieved to see him standing. The next moment of panic soon followed, since she did not know what to say hereafter. There was a lot of things she could say. She could have asked him again. She could have tried to comfort him. She could ask him what had happened between him and Henry.
"I am sorry."
"What? I don't understand... Did something-?"
Anne felt her heart beat anxiously against her chest.
"I am leaving."
"What do you mean, you are leaving?" Anne whispered incredulously.
Charles went past her and almost like that night, when he brought the latest news to her, he sat down on her bed. Seeing the frustrated sight of him, how he hid his face in his hand, with his elbow on his knee, she felt the need to comfort him. So, she sat down next to her.
"Charles?"
"He wanted to propose a betrothal between his son and the Princess Mary of Scotland. For that, however, he requires an ambassador..." He did not finish his sentence. He did not need to. Anne could guess his following words fine enough.
The dreadful cloud that was their situation hung over them, turning everything grey and dark. It was silent and yet so terribly loud, with its thunders and lightning that Anne wished to turn away from it all, so very different from the atmosphere in the garden. But she held on to her silence in the same way Charles stayed kept his as well. She wished that he would say something, anything and yet, she heard nothing. It was probably her turn, after all, back then it had always been him comforting her.
If only she knew the right words to say to him. She was not the best when it came to things like that. She never had the need to do so. It had always been her, who was comforted, by Charles, never the other way around.
"Do you have something to say? Do you not want to say something?" he asked her. Anne chewed on her lip, looking uncertainly back at him.
"I..." What was there to say anyway? It was the King's order and it was not as though Charles was able to defy his choice, for it would be defying his King and that was treason. "When you are leaving?"
"God, Anne!" he was laughing, but they knew that there was nothing funny about her question, nor was it meant to be. Instead, the more he laughed the guiltier she felt and even more did she feel the need to take him into her arms. She could have, she should have, she knew, and yet she did not.
"What else do I have say? What else is there left to say?" she asked with a rising voice at his accusation.
"You could have said anything," he scoffed, still leaning at his knees.
He had ceased starring at her, instead his focus was on the floor.
"But it does not make it any better, does it? It would not change anything."
"So, this is all that you have got to say to me? Is there nothing else?"
It had not been his intention to let this conversation go so far. Actually, he was not quite aware of the intention behind his decision to seek her immediately after having Henry told him of his decision of the lack of. But frankly, this was not what he had expected either. He had not expected to be hurt over her words, but that was exactly what was happening. With every second that passed, when she said nothing and even more, when she said anything, he felt like she was taking the knife that hung over his head and stabbed it directly into his heart.
However, above it all, it was her silence, the look in her eyes, when she fixated him - not her actions - that twisted the knife further and further into his heart.
"What do you want to hear from me?"
"I don't know, but if you have to me what it exactly is, then I can assure you, it is not this."
He stood up, wanting to leave, because there was nothing to stay for.
"No Charles!" This time, he did not stop. "Charles!"
Anne guessed that he was just as hurt as she was hurt by him. It sucked.
"God! Why are you so angry?"
"Are you really asking me this? What is wrong with you today?"
"It is not as though you can change his decision!"
"But it does not make it any better."
Anne flinched, when she repeated the very words she had used as a justification.
"No," she agreed quietly, wrapping her arms around herself, wondering how the wonderful weather could turn into such a dreary cold day so suddenly. "No, it does not."
Charles starred at her relentlessly, without any lenience, without any mercy.
"Will you miss me? At all?" he asked.
For before he had entered her chambers, he was assured that she would be, perhaps not as much as he would miss her, but still... So much had happened now over those little few moments and suddenly, his certainty was not that certain anymore.
"Of course, I will," she assured with, putting her heart above her chest to show him her sincerity. Despite all of this though, he could not find it in him to believe her. After all, she may have a heart, but it did not change the fact that it was cruel.
"Then act like that, damn it all!"
This time, Anne had forbidden herself to cringe at his tone, although her heart did clench one time too hard at his voice.
"You do not believe me!?"
"Now, you do not make it easy for me to do so."
If she were not standing in front of him and thus, between him and the door, he sure would have marched up and left, as there was nothing more that gave him reason to stay. Alas, she was standing in front of him and therefore rightly refusing him of his exit.
"I am sorry."
Slowly, tentatively she went towards him.
Charles eyes her suspiciously.
"I do will miss you. I am sorry that you have to go. I do not know what to do, when you leave. If I had the choice, I would rather wish that you stay here."
Slowly and tentatively, she took his hand, in the same manner he had taken hers earlier on and clasped it between her own.
"That was what you wanted to hear, was it not?"
That uncertain, insecure look inside her eyes and the way she averted her look; he found it incredibly sweet. Almost enticing.
He hated himself for always giving in to her.
He wondered why it was that he could never resist her? What was this pull that she had over him? He could guess, he could know, but he was and had never been certain whether he wanted to.
"It is fine."
He cupped her cheek and forced her to look at him. She let her hold lose.
He realized that he could look forever into her eyes and probably not mind at all. As long as she was there with him, he felt most content.
"Anne?"
"Yes?" she asked. She noticed how he leaned forward. She felt panic sweep through her body, as his forehead touched hers. She was ready to take a step back, if the worst happened.
She waited.
Nothing happened over that little time that felt so heavily loaded and as long as hours, even though she was aware of the fact that it could not have been longer than one breath. With ease she noticed how he retreated from her, granting her distance again. But he was still looking at her, this time fierce and determined.
"Then I have something to ask you. I sincerely hope that you will say yes."
He gripped her hands in his now. It was a tight grip, he was squeezing her fingers so lightly and yet for Anne, it felt as though it was draining her every energy. If it had been him, with his forceful grip and burning eyes, she would have fought, she would have yanked away, she would have burned. But Charles, as gentle as he was with her, he was draining her, making her feel empty and hollow.
Anne looked down on her hands.
Fear soared through her body and she shivered from the cold. The goose bumps an effect by both feelings.
"I know, it is selfish of me," he hesitated as well. Anne closed her eyes. Even his gentle voice she could hardly endure. "Will you come with me? To Scotland?"
Anne took a deep breath and opened her eyes. He had finally asked the question the both of them had dreaded.
Why was she surprised?
She should have known that this was the question he had wanted to ask her and despite this all, she felt her heart clench at his words. She almost resented him for putting her in such a position. She resented him for expecting her to answer him.
Did he deliberately want her to hate him? Or just give him a reason to hate her?
"Charles..." She looked at him. There were those eyes again. Those hopeful eyes crushed her, more than any hurtful words and heartbreak could.
It would be easy to leave this all behind.
She could say yes.
She would hurt no one.
Besides, it was a great opportunity to leave this place behind as well. If she consented in accompanying him and of course, given that Henry would consent as well, she would be free. No more heartbreak, no more sorrow, no more Henry telling her what to do.
She would not hurt Charles by rejecting him.
"I-"
But those words would just not leave her mouth. That was when she knew. Anne averted her eyes, closing them. She felt no desire to see them nor for them to be seen by him.
"I am sorry."
It hurts to realize that the people you thought you'd love for life don't love you as much as you thought they did and can do without you as if they never knew you at all.
