Carlos was sitting on the couch watching Ghost Facers on the Paranormal Channel. His helmet was fastened soundly under his chin as he huddled under a blanket. Each time the high strung investigator would shout Carlos jumped and tugged the blanket down over his face. Logan would have found the whole display adorable if he weren't freezing his ass off. Carlos turned the thermostat so he could hide under the blanket comfortably. That wouldn't have been so bad in and of itself except that Logan couldn't get under the blanket too. He had tried and had ended up with a startled Carlos' elbow in his ribs. He had quickly moved to away to a minimum safe distance and watched Carlos jump and yelp as goose flesh rose on his arms. When the show went off he grabbed the remote and switched it off. Ghost Facers was the only show on PC that Carlos absolutely had to watch religiously but if left to his own devices he would veg in front on the television with the blanket over his head for the rest of the day.

"I'm cold." Logan said standing and chafing his arms.

"I can turn the thermostat back up now." Carlos said jumping to his feet and heading towards the wall beside the door.

"I'd rather go to the pool." Logan said as Carlos dialed the temperature back up.

"There are a lot of better ways to warm up but we can go to the pool if you want too." Carlos said smirking over his shoulder.

"If it were up to you we'd never leave the bedroom." Logan said smiling warmly. Carlos took it as a sign of victory and moved towards him. Logan caught his outstretched hand before it could reach his fly and kissed Carlos quickly on the lips. "But I'd still rather go to the pool. I haven't been outside in days." Carlos pouted for a moment but finally shrugged and headed towards the door. They stopped in front of the closed door and kissed one last time before dropping hands and leaving the apartment. It was a sort of ritual all four of them had started. They got one last moment of contact before they went outside because they knew they couldn't touch each other like that until they got back. Carlos tried to steal another kiss on the elevator but Logan dodged and pressed his fingers to the shorter boy's lips. You never knew when the door was going to open on a floor and Carlos was too much of a distraction. When the door opened in the lobby Carlos let out a mad war whoop and ran towards the pool. Logan followed him chuckling and shaking his head. Carlos found two empty lounges by the pool as straddled one staring into the water. The temptation to sit down in front of him and lean back against Carlos' broad chest was great but Logan shook his head clear of the concept and leaned back on the other lounge. Knowing Carlos he would have wrapped his arms around him like it was the most normal thing in the world but Carlos wasn't great at pretentions. Logan knew how quickly things could go wrong if the whole world knew that Big Time Rush was a bunch of homos…and Carlos. He also knew how quickly the other people at the pool would label Carlos gay.

Logan was deep in thought when Stephanie walked over and sat down on the chaise in front of Carlos her hand instantly going to his knee. He didn't even notice until he heard Carlos's voice followed by girly laughter. He glanced over and gritted his teeth as he found her hand on Carlos knee. He wasn't sure what was worse: the fact that she was touching his…Carlos or that Carlos was letting her. He kept watching, waiting for Carlos to mover her hand away from his knee but he didn't. When he reached down and patted her hand Logan got up and stalked towards the Palmwoods Park. He tried to wrap his anger close around him but by the time he got to the tree by the wishing well his eyes were burning with unshed tears. He flopped on the ground beneath the tree and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes willing the tears to fade but instead they spilled over onto his palms.

He told Carlos that being able to label them and their relationship would make him feel safe and secure but he was wrong. The fact that Carlos was still considering himself completely straight and the fact that he wouldn't give in and call Logan his boyfriend made him feel like it was all temporary. And as he sat under the tree with his knees drawn up to his chest whatever anger he had felt quickly drowned in the ever rising fear that Carlos would decide that his life would be easier dating girls and he would leave Logan alone. They had only been together for a few weeks and Logan was hesitant to say that he was in love with Carlos Garcia but he felt deeply for the high-strung boy and he really didn't think he could go from sharing a bed to watching him go out with girls.

"Are you okay, Logan?" Logan jumped and started scrubbing at his eyes. He looked up to find the last person he thought would show up, James.

"It's nothing." He said still trying to dry his face on the back of his sleeve.

"You looked pretty upset." James said dropping into a sitting position a few feet in front of Logan. Logan looked up at him like he'd grown a second head. James Diamond wasn't the kind of guy that sat in grass, it might stain his jeans. James was also not the kind of guy that Logan went to for comfort. Usually he ran to Kendall when things got bad, he'd known Kendall the longest and he considered him his best friend. The only secret he'd ever kept from the blond haired boy was his sexuality. But he and Kendall hadn't been hanging out as much lately because Kendall was busy with James and Logan was kind of wrapped up in Carlos. He wasn't really close with James at all, they were friends, he like the tall boy but they just didn't have a lot in common.

"You promise you won't laugh at me?" Logan asked finally. James was offering to help him and he didn't want to brush him off and hurt his feelings.

"Why would I laugh at you when you just got finished crying?" James asked grinning at the absurdity.

"I'm scared that Carlos will decide he wants to date girls instead of me." Logan said burying his face in his hands again.

"You don't see it then, do you?" James asked after a moment. Logan looked up to find a look of dubious wonderment on James face.

"See what?" Logan asked shaking his head bemusedly.

"The way Carlos looks at you when you're wrapped up in a book or any other time he thinks you're not paying attention." James said smirking. "Carlos is head over heels for you, Logan."

"No he's not," Logan said scoffing.

"Don't be too sure about that, here he comes now." James said levering himself to his feet quickly. "Give him a chance before you give him up to the next set of tits that walks along." James said patting Logan on the shoulder before he walked off.

"Logan, are you okay, did you hurt yourself?" Carlos asked as he came running over to the tree. He slid to his knees beside Logan and started prodding him as if looking for gashes and broken bones.

"I'm fine, Carlos, quit poking me." Logan sighed catching his searching hands and forcing them into his lap.

"Why were you crying? Did James say something mean?" Carlos asked glaring over his shoulder at the retreating lanky form.

"Stop, nobody did anything to me. I just freaked out a little bit okay?"

"What made you freak out?" Carlos asked finally sitting dropping to his but beside Logan.

"I saw you with Stephanie and she was flirting and I just started worrying." Logan said staring at the ground. He was beginning to feel awful. He still didn't really trust Carlos and the other boy had never done anything to earn his doubt. "I know I should trust you, Carlos. And I'm really trying to, but I'm still afraid you'll decide you want to be with some random girl and walk off and leave me." Logan said he was still unable to meet Carlos warm brown eyes and he felt more tears pricking at his own. Carlos still hadn't said anything. Logan was afraid that he'd upset him. He turned to apologize when something solid thunked down on top his head. He instantly brought his hands up to feel the smooth plastic of Carlos's helmet as the other boy's fingers drew the snaps together underneath his chin.

"You're giving me your helmet?" Logan asked with an incredulous look on his face.

"No, I'm loaning you my helmet, if you want your own helmet I'll buy you one…a pink one." Carlos said, grinning as his fingers lingering over the curve of Logan's chin before falling away. "But it always makes me feel better when I'm scared."

"I don't think a helmet's going to help me if you decide to leave." Logan said shaking his head, the weight of the heavy plastic felt strange on his hair but he didn't want to take it off.

"Princess, for someone so smart you're so stupid sometimes." Carlos said sighing.

"What?"

"I love you." Carlos glanced quickly glancing around the park for any prying eyes before quickly kissing Logan on the lips. He knew Logan didn't like for him to be affectionate in public but damned if he was going to say the words without kissing him.

"I know you love me, Carlos." Logan said his voice sounding small and pained. Carlos could kick himself for making such a big deal about the distinction between loving someone and being in love with them. It was coming back to bite him in the ass in a big way. "No, I LOVE you, freak show." Carlos said wrapping his arm around Logan's shoulder and drawing him close. Logan's eyes rose to scan the park instantly before he snuggled into the curve of Carlos' body.

"Really?"

"Oh my god, yes!" Carlos said squeezing Logan's slender shoulder. "I would tell you everything that made me love you but that'd be too mushy and I have a feeling it's all been done before."

"You could tell me a few things." Logan said sheepishly. Carlos chuckled and leaned his cheek against the smooth black plastic encasing Logan's head.

"Okay, I like the fact that you're taller than me but I can still throw you over my shoulder and pack you like a satchel if I want to. I love it that every time we get done fooling around you jump up and pick up our clothes off the floor. And I love the way your eyebrows crinkle together when you're thinking and the way you're thinking all the time. Most of all I love the little bitty hairs on your toes the fact that you let me play with them without kicking me in the face."

"So our relationship is built on the fact that I have fuzzy toes?" Logan asked after a moment.

"That had better have been a joke because I can't handle this whole romantic pooky-face stuff if I can't undress you afterwards." Carlos grunted.

"Then let's go back to the room." Logan said standing to his feet. He headed towards the Palmwoods. Carlos shook his head with a grin and followed him.

When James got back to the apartment Kendall was stretched out on the couch watching television. He turned the volume down and sat up stretching as James walked through the door .

"How long does it take to buy cheese doodles and hairspray?" He asked as James sat the bag down on the coffee table.

"On my way back I saw Logan in the park by the wishing well." James said extracting the cheese doodles from the bag to throw to Kendall. "He looked like he was crying so I stopped to see what was wrong." Kendall was on his feet and headed towards the door before James could get the magazine he had bought out of the bag.

"I better go talk to him." Kendall said with his hand on the door knob.

"I already did, he's fine…or at least I think he'll be fine. He and Carlos just need to work some things out." James said dropping onto the couch with his issue of Them Weekly.

"Oh god, I'm going to kill him." Kendall groaned as he opened the door.

"Kendall, Logan's just freaking out over nothing right now. He and Carlos need to talk it out he'll feel better. Come sit down." James said patting the seat beside him.

"I know how to deal with my brother okay?" Kendall grunted before stopping dead in his tracks. James looked up over his magazine his eyes going wide. "I meant bro."

"No you didn't, you were about to take Carlos' head off because you thought he hurt Logan and you just called him your brother. What's going on, Kendall?" James closed the magazine and tossed it on the coffee table. Kendall sighed and closed the door turning to James.

"In the bedroom, I don't want anyone to hear this." James got up of the couch and followed him to the bedroom quickly. "Did I ever tell you why my parents split up?" Kendall asked as he closed the door behind him.

"No, the last time I asked was in ninth grade and you said you'd kick my ass if I didn't let it go." James said as he sat down on the bed. Kendall turned and started pacing the floor. It belied his normal tranquility and made James nervous.

"My dad was a real asshole, he never hit us and he was always great with me and Katie but he was a whore." Kendall said his voice low and angry. "Mom gave him the benefit of the doubt for a really long time and kept him around for us kids. When Katie was about four he came home after a big game and he was drunk as hell. He told Mom that he had gotten another woman pregnant. Mom wanted to know who it was but he wouldn't tell her."

"Oh wow." James said, he climbed off the bed and went over to wrap his arms around Kendall's waist if only to stop the pacing. "Are you sure it was Logan?"

"Yeah, he's only a few months younger than me and he has no idea who his dad is." Kendall said resting his head against James' chest. "The first day I brought Logan home from school with me Dad stared at him for a long time and Mom got really mad. I didn't understand what was going on until I heard her on the phone screaming at Logan's mom for sleeping with him. They eventually got over it but she threw Dad out. I guess by then it hurt her more that he had slept with her friend than it hurt her that her friend had slept with her husband."

"So Logan is your little brother and Momma Knight knows, and you know, but Logan doesn't know." James summarized.

"Pretty much." Kendall said his voice muffled against James shirt.

"You know most people would be pissed." James mused running his fingers through the back of Kendall's hair.

"It's not his fault his dad's a bastard anymore than it is mine." Kendall said sighing. "And I've always thought it sucked that he didn't get to have a dad even if our dad was crappy."

"What about Momma Knight?"

"Mom feels the same way; she loves Logan because he's Logan and her best friend's son she's not going to hate him because Dad screwed up." Kendall pulled away from James and went to flop on the bed. He had been carrying the secret for so long it felt weird to have it out in the open.

"Why hasn't anyone told Logan?" James asked going to sit down on the bed beside Kendall.

"I don't know why his mom never told him, Mom didn't tell him because she didn't, and I haven't told him because I'm not supposed to know. I guess Mom would have eventually told us if we had started liking each other or something." Kendall said rolling his eyes.

"But she said if we all ended up in bed together she didn't want to know." James said shaking his head bewilderedly.

"You have a good point, that's kind of creepy." Kendall said shivering.

"Logan really needs to know, Kendall" James said after smirking.

"I know, but I'm scared he'll freak out or something." Kendall said flopping back onto the bed.

"Why would he freak out?" James asked lying back with him his arm thrown across Kendall's chest. "He loves you, I mean he looks up to you like he already knows you're his big brother, and you guys have been tight since way back."

"I guess you're right, I really should talk to him." Kendall said sighing.

"Well now's your big chance." James said as the sound of the apartment door closing reached his ears.

"Will you distract Carlos for a little while?" Kendall asked as he sat up.

"No problem." James said kissing him on the cheek as he walked over to open the door. Just about the time he opened the door Carlos walked by. James gave a loud whoop and dove on top of the smaller boy tackling him halfway across the living room.

"What the hell!" Logan shouted as Carlos hand was ripped from his own.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?" Kendall asked poking his head through the door He glanced at Carlos' helmet on Logan's head but decided to ignore it. Logan stared down at the rolling boys for a moment more before he walked over to Kendall.

"What's going on?" He asked wearily as he turned to watch his boyfriend wrestle around the living room with Kendall's.

"Just James being James." Kendall said shrugging nervously.

"And Carlos being Carlos." Logan said sighing. "We were coming up here so he could be romantic and mushy and he gets sidetracked with James. Do you ever wonder if it'd been easier if we started going out?" He asked glancing up at Kendall. The blond boy's face went blank and pale as he eyes bugged out of his head. Logan arched his eyebrow quizzically.

"No, it never crossed my mind, we really need to talk." Kendall said grabbing Logan's arm to pull him into the bedroom.

"Seriously, what's going on, you're starting to freak me out." Logan said as Kendall slammed the door behind them and started pacing across the room. "If this is some lame attempt to ask me and Carlos for a foursome forget it."

"Logie, for one minute could you not make jokes, please?" Kendall asked rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. Logan stopped and stared at him. Kendall hadn't called him Logie since they got to high school.

"Is there something wrong with my mom?" Logan asked his voice going high and tight.

"No, your mom is fine." Kendall said stopping to look at Logan. "Could you sit down or something?" Logan shrugged and sat down on the bed, he unstrapped Carlos' helmet from his head and sat it down beside him, he wanted whatever this was over with before it got any weirder.

"It's about your dad." Kendall said finally after a few minutes of silent pacing.

"I don't have a dad." Logan said slowly staring at Kendall like he'd lost his mind.

"Everyone has a dad, Logan." Kendall said frustrated.

"I have a father, a father who left my Mom after a one night stand." Logan said feeling the old familiar anger well back up. He loved his mom, she was a great mom and even more so for raising him all by herself…well she wasn't all by herself she had Momma Knight but that was different. He had always hated the anonymous man that had collaborated in his birth then left them alone. He didn't need a father but it would have been nice to have had one. Come to think of it the only men in his life had been his father and Kendall's both had walked out on their sons and their women. No wonder Logan was having problems trusting Carlos.

"That's the thing, Logie. He left my Mom too." Kendall said stopping to stare at Logan. Logan blinked at him owlishly.

"My father and Momma Knight used to date?" He asked after a moment.

"Oh fuck." Kendall swore sweeping back into his pacing. "I should have known you would make this as hard as possible. No, Logan, your father and my mom were married."

"But I though Momma K was only married once to your dad." Logan said.

"Are you serious?" Kendall crossed the room and put a hand on either side of Logan's face staring into his eyes. "My dad was your dad; you are my little brother you irritating little egg head." Logan eyes blinked rapidly a few times before he reached up and took Kendall's hands off his face.

"How long have you known?" He asked getting up from the bed.

"Since we were nine." Kendall said watching Logan closely.

"You knew since we were kids and you didn't tell me." Logan rounded on him screaming. Outside Carlos finally broke free of James and scrambled towards the door. He managed to open it and dash in before James could entangle him in another wrestling match. The sight that greeted him wasn't good. Logan's face was flushed bright red and he was crying again. "You fucking asshole, why didn't you ever tell me!" She shouted jabbing his finger at Kendall.

"I'm sorry, your mom never told you and I thought maybe she knew what was best for you." Kendall said pleadingly. Carlos walked over and tried to wrap his arms around Logan but the smaller boy brushed him off advancing on Kendall.

"You thought she knew what was best?" Logan asked jabbing him in the chest. "You know me better than anyone else in the world. How many nights did we stay up late talking about what it was like to not have a Dad around? How many times did you tell me it was better to not have one at all then to have one like James? Every one of those nights you could have told me, you should have told me." Logan said walking towards the door. "I deserved to know."

"Logie, wait." Kendall said moving after him.

"Don't, just don't, you knew for nine years that you were my brother and didn't say a damn word to me about it, don't 'Logie' me, Kendall Knight. I don't to talk to you right now." Logan said before walking out the door. Carlos gave Kendall one quick dirty look as he grabbed his helmet from the bed before he went after Logan. Kendall heard the apartment door slam and James come back in the room.

Kendall was standing in the middle of the room staring at the floor with his shoulders slumped. James walked over and wrapped his arms around Kendall's and squeezed tighter as he felt sobs wrack his frame.

"He hates me." Kendall said after he was finally able to speak.

"Shhh, no he doesn't, he's just pissed at you right now. He'll be back." James murmured as he stroked Kendall's back.

A/N: Bet you all didn't see that coming did you? The truth is neither did I. I tried to temper the melodrama with some realism this time I hope it turned out all right. I wanted some good drama to play with that I didn't have to fight to contrive and I think I got it this time. I've already got the next chapter written and if you dawg monkeys wanna read it I want ten reviews at least….I'll settle for five or six cause chapters burn a hole in my harddrive but I'd really like ten.