Disclaimer: I still don't own Shameless.

A/N: I know I took a little longer getting this chapter up than I usually do, but here it is. Enjoy!

Self Preservation-Chapter 12

Mickey nervously brings his hand up and knocks loudly on the Gallagher's door. The ex-con really doesn't want to be here. He's not in the mood to deal with anyone. All he wants to do is drink and get as fucking high as he can to forget and pass out. Forget that he told Fiona that he would go to Debs' birthday dinner. And more importantly forget about firecrotch having a fucking seizure in front of him.

Fuck it! Mickey turns around and starts down the stairs when he hears, "Mickey? Where are you going?"

Mickey turns around and makes eye contact with a tired looking Fiona. He motions with his hands, "I was about to…um"

"I hope you weren't gonna leave," She says with a small smile.

"Who was gonna leave?" Debbie asks as she joins her sister in the doorway. She looks at Mickey and gives him a small smile, "Mickey, you came!"

The ex-con rolls his eyes, "I told you I would, didn't I?"

She gives him a huge smile and laughs. He can't believe that he's saying this but it actually feels good to see the kid smile and laughing. The image of Ian's seizing body was one of the worst things he has ever witnessed, but the scene of a sobbing Debbie seeing her brother in the throes of a fever induced seizure is on the list of things that Mickey never wants to see repeated.

"Are you guys just gonna stand outside all day or are you gonna come in?" Lip yells from the interior of the house.

"Fuck you, Lip!" Mickey yells back.

"Come on, Mickey." Debs says as she waves him in with her hand.

Before he loses his nerve he hands her the present he got her, "Here, I know it's not wrapped."

The kid looks down at the gift, "The Godfather. I've never seen it."

"It's a classic. I know that you liked Goodfellas so I thought you might like it." Mickey explains.

"I can't wait to watch it!" The kid says as she gives him a huge hug.

Mickey stands there for a few seconds. He normally would have no problem telling her to get the hell off. But today is her birthday and Ian's in the damn hospital fighting for his life. He doesn't really have the heart to tell her to stop. He looks over Debs' head at Fiona. She's smiling as she mouths "thank you." The ex-con nods his head and looks down at Ian's kid sister.

"Come on Debs, let go. Mickey needs to breathe. I'll get you a beer, Mickey." Fiona says as she turns to go back into house.

Debs does finally let go and says, "You're coming in, right?"

Mickey takes a deep breath. Now is his chance to just leave. He gave Debbie her gift. He allowed her to hug him. That's enough kindness for Mickey for one day. He has a twelve pack back home calling his name. He should just leave. But, then he thinks about Ian. How he told Mickey than his kid sister always get the shaft when shit goes down. If Gallagher's family can take a little time out of the nightmare that's going on right now, then Mickey can stick around for a bit.

"Yeah, I'm coming in. Your dickhead of a brother owes me a beer."

Debbie smiles and moves to the side to let him in. Mickey follows her into the Gallagher's living room. There's Carl sitting on the couch and the youngest Gallagher is on the floor. He takes a seat in the chair, and Fiona brings him a beer.

"So, what do you think is the best bone to break on someone else?" Carl asks nonchalantly.

Mickey spits out some of his beer. "What the fuck is wrong with you, kid?"

Carl shrugs, "What? I was just asking who I thought was an authority on the matter. I heard that you busted Ronny Daniels' leg and totally fucked up his brother's Pauly's hand."

The Daniels brothers are the last people he wants to talk about. Mickey takes a huge gulp of beer, "Just do me a favor. Don't ask me any more fucked up questions. You're seriously freaking me out."

"He has the tendency to do that," Debbie clarifies as she picks up Liam from the floor and puts him on her lap.

"Hey, Mickey. Come here for a sec." Lip calls from the kitchen.

He has never been more thankful to Lip. He gets up and gives Debs a small smile as he makes his way into the kitchen. He sees Vee and Fiona rushing around the kitchen, putting food on trays and placing them in the stove.

"Wanna come outside for a second?" Lip asks.

Mickey nods his head and the two make their way to the back door.

"Mozzarella sticks and nachos are gonna be ready in ten, and Jimmy's getting the pizza. Don't be long." Fiona calls.

Once outside, Lip takes out a joint and lights it. He takes a long drag. "I figured that you might need a break."

Mickey takes the offered joint, "Thanks." He takes a long drag. "Where's Mandy? I thought she was supposed to be here?"

"She offered to stay at the hospital for awhile." Lip explains. "She's going to stop by in a bit, and then Vee's going to go sit with Ian. Are you going to go back later?"

Mickey takes another long drag. "Probably. If not tonight, tomorrow." He hands the joint back to Lip.

Lip takes it and takes a long drag."I know that you were there when Ian had his first seizure. That must have been tough. I know how upset Fiona and Debs were after they saw it." Gallagher takes another drag. "Hell, it was tough on me when I saw him have another and that was kind of expected."

"What are the docs saying?" Mickey asks nervously. He really doesn't know if he wants to hear what the doctors are saying about Ian. But, he needs to know.

"It grew into septicemia. He stands half a chance if it doesn't travel to his brain." Lip takes a deep breath and gives the joint back to Mickey. "The good news is that his fever hasn't risen."

Mickey takes the offered joint and inhales. He thinks back to what Debbie said about how 50% of people who get septicemia die. That means there's a fifty percent chance of Ian dying. Fuck! "What happens if the infection reaches his brain?"

Lip takes a sip of beer. "if that happens, the doctor's are afraid that there might be some brain damage. Seizures, deafness, difficulty in speaking. That's on the lighter side."

"Lighter side?" Mickey asks. "As opposed to what?"

"As opposed to him being a fucking vegetable."

"Fuck." Mickey curses.

"My sentiments exactly."

"You guys ready to eat? Nachos and sticks are ready." Fiona calls from inside.

"We better get in there, before there's nothing left." Lip says.

Mickey nods as they go back inside. They go back into the living and watch television. They're watching Chopped because it's the kid's favorite show. Mickey sips his beer and munches on nachos. The show isn't half bad. But then comes the round that has goat brains in the basket.

"Cool!" Carl says. "I wonder how they got the brains."

Mickey shakes his head and gets up to grab another beer. That kid is seriously fucked up. He's gonna make it his mission to ensure that the littlest Gallagher doesn't become a sociopath. He doesn't exactly know how he's going to do that, but he's sure that he can think of a plan. One sociopath in a family is enough.

"Pizza's here!" Jimmy calls as he walks into the kitchen with a pile of pizzas.

The Gallagher's come rushing into the kitchen and take their seats at the table. Mickey just stands there as he watches them all sit down. This is so different from meals at his place. At his house it's usually feed for yourself, and very rarely at a table. And if they did, it was usually just him and Mandy.

"Mickey, come sit next to me?" Debbie asks with a look of uncertainty.

He can do this. He can make nice for a little but longer. He takes his place by Debs and houses a couple pieces of pizza in just a few minutes. It's kind of awkward. The meal is mostly silent. Mickey knows that the awkwardness is not just the fact that they're consumed with eating. Their minds are elsewhere. They're thinking about the Gallagher that's not there. The Gallagher who is fighting a fucking infection that has a 50% chance of killing him.

After they eat the pizza, it's time for cake. He listens to them singing "Happy Birthday." Mandy and Fiona may say that he's turning soft but there's no way in hell he's singing "Happy Birthday."

"Make a wish," Fiona says with a smile.

Mickey closes his eyes for a second. He wishes that wishes really do come true. If that was the case then he'd wish for Ian to get better. For him to get rid of this fever. For his hand not to be fucked up. For the two of them to be a couple out in the open and not worry about getting their heads bashed in. But, it's not his birthday and no wishes that he has made for awhile have come true. Not the one where he wished his mother didn't take off. Not the one where his father wasn't such a cruel, homophobic asshole. So, why would this one be any different?

"I wish for..."Debbie begins to say aloud.

"You can't say what it is or it won't come true." Lip cuts her off.

Debs closes her eyes and mouths it to herself. Mickey can make out exactly what she said. I wish for Ian to get better. And based on the silence in the room and Fiona wiping her eyes with her sleeve, Mickey has a suspicion that everyone else has too.

The mean part of Mickey wants to tell the kid not to count on the wish coming true. That no wishes ever come true. Not for people like them in the neighborhood they live in.

But the not so cynical part of him can't break the kid's heart. She's ian's kid fucking sister. Ian's has dreams of getting out of this shit hole. He wouldn't shut up about the Marines, West Point, and getting out of Southside. Mickey couldn't shatter firecrotch's dreams, so there's no way he's going to crush his little sister's heart. So for the moment he's just going to keep his mouth shut about that.

"Happy Birthday, kid." He adds to the chorus of 'Happy Birthdays.'

XXXXX

"Mickey, wake up!" Mandy hisses at him.

Mickey rolls over, ignoring his sister. He's too fucking hungover to deal with her shit right now. He stuck around at the Gallagher's longer than he thought he would. He had every intention of getting the fuck out of there after having some cake and watching the kid open her gifts. As if he she could sense his plan, she turned to him and asked if he would stay and watch The Godfather with them.

He had nothing else to do and he knew that Lip would probably keep him supplied with good weed and Fiona had constantly offered him a refill every time he finished his beer. So he agreed to stay and watch the movie with the freaken Gallagher's.

It shocked him to say that he actually had an okay time. Hr got pretty high and had a good buzz on. He smirked when Debs hid behind her hands when the horse head scene happened. And he couldn't help but move away from the sociopath when he asked him what the best way to decapitate something was.

After the younger Gallagher's went to bed, and Debs gave him another tight hug much to his chagrin Fiona and Vee left for the hospital. Mickey stayed behind. They smoked up some and drank even more.

They talked about stupid stuff like the Sox, the best way to grow weed, and how Lip was pissed that he wasn't there with Mickey to beat the shit out of the Daniels brothers. Then things turned a little too serious for Mickey's liking when Lip asked him if he's still gonna be around if it turns out that Ian suffered some sort of brain damage. He knew that it was a concern of the doctors'. If the infection reached his brain then all bets were off.

Fuck Lip Gallagher! He doesn't want to think about Ian being…damaged. Putting his head around the fact that firecrotch's hand might be fucked up forever was bad enough, but to think that he may continue to have seizures in the future, be deaf, or suffer from some other kind of brain damage is way too much to think about.

Mickey didn't say anything right away. He took a long swig of beer and told Lip to fuck off. Thankfully, Lip saw that as a sign to shut the fuck up. And Mickey saw the change in conversation as a sign to get the fuck out of there. So, he decided to take his high, drunk ass home where he could continue his quest to get as high and drunk as humanly possible to fucking forget about the possibility of Ian not making it. Or worse yet, Ian making it, but being a fucking vegetable for the rest of his life. His plan must have worked because the last thing he remembers is sitting on the couch with a shot of vodka and a beer chaser in his hand, watching some shit on the television.

The next thing he knows, Mandy is annoyingly trying to shake him awake. "Mickey, wake up."

Mickey ignores her and hides his head in the couch cushion, rolling away from her loud ass voice. But then a hand is on his shoulder, is shaking him. "Wake up, assface."

Mickey still ignores her, and Mandy's shaking him harder.

"What the fuck! Leave me alone." Mickey says groggily as he keeps his eyes closed.

Mandy smacks him in the shoulder. "You gotta wake up, Mick."

Mandy's never this persistent about waking him up. Something must be up. A heavy feeling settles in his gut, and he knows it's not from the large amount of booze he consumed last night. He cautiously opens one eye, "What the hell's going on?"

Mandy's biting her lip, nervously.

Shit! Did something happen with Ian over night? Last thing he heard came from a text from Fiona that said Ian had another seizure. It was that last text that was the catalyst in Mickey changing his drink of choice from beer to vodka.

Mickey sits up and rubs his eyes, "Fucking tell me what has your panties in a bunch? Is Ian okay?"

Then Mandy gives him a huge smile, "Lip just called me. Ian's fever broke."

I hoped you guys liked it. Don't worry. I think I got my need of heavy angst out of my system. The following chapters shouldn't be as angsty.

Chapter Thirteen Sneak Peak: Mickey visits Ian.