a/n: Hi! So here's the next chapter. Sorry it's kinda late. Thank you to everyone you left a review, I really appreciate it! Also thank you to my awesome beta, Tare-chan! Hope everyone enjoys the chapter! ^.^
Rejecting Freedom
Chapter 12
How Delightful It Is To Simply Enjoy Life
The rest of the crew was already in bed, strewn out across the room when I sneaked out of the door, book in one hand and a cup of coffee in my hand. My old hat sat upon my head, something that the little doctor had convinced me to wear, saying he hadn't seen it in a while. I had protested but he had won the argument in the end, running off to grab it for me.
Once outside, I examined places to go, looking for a quiet place to go where I would be able to simply sit and think. There were too many thoughts in my head at the moment and I hadn't had enough time to simply sit and sift through them since my rescue. And while I had tried to process my thoughts with the crew, they seemed determined to make sure I wasn't able to, as if they believed my thoughts would be once again on leaving or something silly of the sort. In some ways, it was my own fault, for being so easy distracted from what I was doing every time one of them called my name.
I found no good place on the ground and finally I decided to go upon the roof, using my devil's fruit ability to climb to the flattest section of the roof. The view was quite good, most of the city within my eyesight. The ocean gleamed from miles away, so peaceful it was amazing that it had ever been violent enough to cause so much damage. The city was quiet now, a few lights still gleaming in the distance, flickering happily. My gaze went to the stars, a feeling of peace spreading over my body as I stared at their delighted glow. A few clouds were passing by but they were thin and not threatening in the least. The moon was bright in the sky, bright enough that I would be able to read, when and if I felt like it. For now, I simply wanted to relax and to think.
It was quite ironic to me that my life had ended up like this. I had been ready to die when the affair with Crocodile ended, ready to become nothing but a forgotten piece of history, to fade away like everything I had lost in the past. Now death was far from my mind, something I would enter into if necessary but something I wasn't going to seek anytime soon. The things I lost weren't so great now, not so life consuming, not something to linger on when I needed a reminder of who I was, what I had been. My hope was reborn and a part of me that knew caring could get me killed or worse was fading away because I wasn't alone anymore.
One hand reached up to take off my hat, placing it on my lap, hand stroking the worn edge of it softly. A natural smile came to my lips, filled with happiness rather than a bittersweet emotion. I had purchased the hat for one reason and one only, it had reminded me of Saul's hat. I was working for Crocodile at the time I had found it and I had almost not bought it at all, focused on looking for decent clothes to use. But I had ended up buying it for a foolish reason, thinking that it would help my attitude towards life become more like that of Saul's, something I could only still pretend at. I had never been able to laugh when life was bad, like he did, just learned how to cover up my emotions, how to hide myself from the rest of the world. I was still glad I had purchased the hat, however. It had helped, in some ways, to make my life better, even if I had all but given up while wearing it.
My hand stroked it once more, wondering if I had any more need for it. In a great many ways, it didn't suit me anymore. I had begun to think death was a more preferable option when I had bought it and had come from the edge of death twice, once with Crocodile and once with Enel,while wearing it. It symbolized me when I couldn't trust the world around me and how desperate I had become, never thinking that I would ever find my Nakama and that the only good memories I could ever have were those from Ohara.
I sighed, wondering if I should get rid of it. I doubted I would wear it again or ever need it to help comfort me in any way with the Nakama I had. But it was a part of my history, even if it was a history I would never want to return to. I had worn it when I first met the crew and that was a happy memory, at how Luffy had shocked me from the very beginning, smashing the Log Post.
I set it next to me softly. I would keep it, no doubt, if only because the past should never be thrown away. I was certain I would never find it upon my head ever again, however. My gaze went back to the stars, at their freedom with a smile, feeling better. I took a sip of my coffee and turned my attention to the soft movement of the ocean, to the comforting sound of water rushing around the city.
The noise of the door drew my attention quickly however, the sound very distinct. No doubt one of the crew had noticed my absence and was coming to see where I was. My hand reached down to scoop up my book and hat, my body preparing to stand when Zoro appeared, climbing up onto the roof. I could only stare at him in surprise, expecting the cook or navigator to be taking his place. For some reason he seemed relieved to see where I was, walking over to sit down next to me with a slight huff. I smiled lightly at his face, which was suspiciously similar to expression at Enies Lobbies.
"Beautiful night isn't it, Mr. Swordsman?" I inquired lightly. His gaze followed mine, taking in the view before coming back to rest on my face.
"Yeah," he replied, taking quite some to reply, as if the view had dazed him in some way. My gaze left him and went back to the heavens, a smile that didn't want to go away staying on my face. We sat in silence for a few moments before I spoke.
"You never allowed me to say thank you for saving me," I murmured, my gaze not drifting towards him, slightly… nervous about his reaction. Out of all the crew, he was the one I most expected to never trust me again, if only because of how I had hurt the crew with my actions. He was silent for a moment.
"Would have done the same for anyone else on the crew," he finally responded. There was a slight edge to his voice, I didn't quite understand although I quickly wrote it off as annoyance at my betrayal. It wasn't something I could blame him for, in fact it surprised me none of the other crewmembers harbored any ill feeling towards me for what I did. Even if it was for them, in some ways, I had tried my best to make them hate me and would have let them take the fall for the assassination if I had been able to.
I shifted positions, tucking my legs closer to my body and wrapping my arms around them, feeling a little better in a more tucked up position. My gaze went the other way, watching the city in that direction, my smile slowly fading.
"Why'd you try to leave the crew?" he asked suddenly. I turned to look at him, testing his mood. His face hadn't changed from when he had first come on the roof, still on edge. His gaze was more firm now, however, his tone more serious and possibly…frustrated? I went back to stargazing, my arms more firmly wrapping around my legs.
"I'm not really sure," I murmured, avoiding the truth as much as possible. I had made a mistake by leaving, it was clear now but I couldn't have watched them die or stayed with them long enough to watch them betray me, although I had doubted it would have been the answer. Even so, I found no reason to state my insecurities, not now.
The swordsman visibly stiffened beside me and when he spoke quietly there was a great deal more frustration in his tone. "What else can you expect someone who manipulated the crew into trusting her to do?" He scoffed, almost to himself. "We protected you from that admiral and you still couldn't trust us?" he demanded after, a little bit louder.
My gaze snapped back to him, my temper rising, lip compressing. I didn't speak, just stared, wondering how he didn't understand that was why I had to leave or why I had thought it was why I had to leave. Saul had protected me from Aojiki, too and had died, even after he took out several marine ships by himself. My temper faded at the memory, mood rapidly sobering as I caught sight of my hat. When I spoke, my tone was even, the bit of sadness in it hardly showing.
"It doesn't matter now," I replied calmly. His firm gaze faded in an instant and I quickly realized I hadn't hid my emotions as well as I had thought. He looked away, one hand going to rest on his katana. I watched silently, watching the emotions flicking away on his face before he rose.
"Wait here," he told me. I stared at him questionly before nodding, tilting my head slightly. He leapt off the roof and there was the sound of the door opening and closing. I stared down at my empty coffee cup, thinking about rising to get some more and ignoring the swordsman's request. The sound of the door opening and closing echoed throughout the air before he reappeared. I blinked at the bottle of wine in his hand that Sanji had purchased earlier in the day in surprise, knowing that he was more likely to go for a stronger alcohol than that.
He sat back down next to me and offered the bottle. "It helps sometimes," he told me evenly. I simply stared at it before shaking my head in amusement.
"That's not necessary, Mr. Swordsman, I'm quite alright with just a little company," I replied in amusement. It was an interesting way to try and cheer someone up but something not my style. He still offered the bottle.
"Haven't celebrated winning the fight, yet," he said, interestingly enough still trying to persuade me. I scanned his face slowly, trying to read it. He looked rather unsure of himself, something I hadn't seen from him very often.
I hesitated for a moment before taking it, if only to give him a small moment of comfort, noticing quickly it had been opened. My gaze went down to my coffee cup, considering pouring it in since I wasn't the type of person to take a swig of something before I decided against it with a touch of amusement and took a swig out of the bottle. Zoro watched silently. Once I was done, I passed it to him. He took it with a grin and followed suit.
For the next few minutes, we sat in silence, passing the bottle back and forth before it was suddenly gone, with him having consumed much more than me. I found that I enjoyed the wine more when I could drink it gradually; enjoying the drink itself rather than the slight buzz it could give. Even so, my smile was back. He was slumped up against the wall, the look of discomfort back on his face. My mind searched for a topic to talk about.
"Who did you fight in Enies Lobbies?" I asked him. He stared at me for a moment.
"Kaku," he responded finally. I placed an elbow on my knees and put my head upon my head, tilting my head, trying to encourage him into continuing. A grin crossed his face. "Good fight. You get any good opponents?"
I shook my head softly. "I'm afraid by the time I was rescued; the crew had defeated all but everyone. I enjoyed fighting alongside Namihowever, even if we were forced to abandon the ship," He stared at me.
"You fought with Franky too, right?" he inquired.
"For a while, yes," I responded with a touch of amusement. "He spent most of the time convincing me that I need to talk to the crew or go back to them. It irritated me slightly, even if it was true," Zoro's face got yet another hard edge to it.
"I think Luffy will invite him onto the crew," he commented. My lips pursed, wondering about the harsh edge.
"Are you against that for some reason? He's shown that we can trust him and he's quite strong," I said softly.
"No," the swordsman replied firmly. "I don't think that he'll want to come. He has lots of attachment here,"
"Very true, but most of the crew rejected the captain at first. We're all here nonetheless," I pointed out.
"Not all of us," he grumbled. "Usopp left the crew," I stared at him in confusion. I had known he and Luffy had fought but I had assumed since he was there at Enies Lobbies that he had been forgiven, to some extent, even if he had run off when we had returned to Water 7.
"I doubt it will be for long," I murmured. "He'll come back sooner or later," His gaze narrowed.
"If we accept him back," he replied. "He left the crew on his own. We don't have to accept him back," I stared, although I knew it made sense. Even so, I doubted it would be something the sniper wouldn't regret quickly.
"So did I," I reminded him softly. "But you all accepted me back even after I tried to pin an assassination on you," He scoffed.
"That's different. You were being an idiot, Usopp knew what he was doing by challenging Luffy," he replied. "You don't challenge the captain unless you want to be out of the crew," A small smile came to my lips.
"A pity I didn't know that before. If I had I might have tried that in the first place to get away from the crew," I told him with a touch of amusement. He stared at me like he thought I was serious.
"Luffy would have made us chase after you anyways," he told me, sounding confident. "You couldn't fool any of us into thinking that you actually hated us," I blinked in surprise, even if the words seemed false to me.
"Usopp and I were simply being selfish when we split from the crew. I don't see why he should be hurt more than me because of it," I replied.
"Usopp left because he couldn't deal with the fact that the ship couldn't sail anymore," Zoro snapped back. "He should have sucked it up like the rest of us and dealt with it. We don't need a crewmember that does that just because things aren't going his way," His outburst shocked me slightly but I nodded anyways.
"I see," I murmured. With that, I let the subject drop, knowing the crew would have to deal with it sooner or later, even if it wasn't a happy thought. And I was too tired to try and deal with it right now. It was getting late and I was all but ready for bed.
I looked down at my possessions and back at the sky with a small sigh before I grabbed them and stood. "It's getting late. Goodnight, Mr. Swordsman," I told him before leaving the roof and walking back inside. He watched me go in silence, although he seemed slightly surprised for some reason.
The next morning brought less noise than I was used to, the crew getting up lazily with the exception of the little doctor. Chopper was scurrying around, a roll of bandages in hand as he checked on the crew's wounds, making sure everything was still fine. I simply watched for a few moments as he tended to the cook's injuries, Sanji with a grateful smile on his face before he rose to go start breakfast. He moved onto Nami who showed a similar expression. When he was done tending to her, she rose and walked over to me. I was still wrapped up in my covers with an amused smile.
"Good morning, Robin," she told me. She sat down next to me and watched Chopper attempt to wake the swordsman. I sent her a bright smile.
"Good morning, Miss Nami," I murmured. "How are you feeling?" She sighed dramatically.
"I'm okay. I didn't get much sleep, thanks to certain idiots, talking in their sleep all night," she replied before an evil grin came over her face. "But they stopped talking after I asked them too,"
I stared at her in amusement. "How good of them to stop when you requested," I commented. She shrugged lightly.
"I might have given them a little encouragement," she bubbled with a smile. "I have a feeling I'll sleep better tonight," Her smile slipped slightly towards worry. "I noticed you didn't get to bed until late. Is everything alright?"
I smiled warmly. "Of course. I had some things I needed to think about on my own, that's all," I murmured. Her expression slid further into worry and it made it quite clear that she thought it meant I had foolishly thought about leaving the crew. I put her fears to rest quickly. "It's nice to have my fears finally put to rest,"
She blinked before her smile reappeared and she looked like she wanted to give me a hug. She nodded. "I know what you mean," Her gaze ran along the crew, focusing on where Sanji had begun to cook, the sleeping form of Zoro and the bandaged form of the captain. She looked like her scan had missed someone, although it didn't affect her smile in the least. It was clear the missing party was the long-nosed sniper, even if it hadn't been brought up as of yet. The conflict was going to be settled soon, however, and there wasn't an ounce of doubt in my mind at that.
I watched the captain consume the food before him in slight fascination, my head tilted slightly. It was clear he was still quite asleep but yet he was still able to pack food into his mouth at a pace that left me wondering how he managed to breath. Chopper sat in my lap, watching with equal fascination and some admiration. Nami was busy talking to Sanji, the cook hanging onto her every word as she described her fight with Kalifa. Zoro was sitting next to the captain, half-paying attention to Luffy and the other half focused on what Nami was saying. I had no interest in the story, although the fact that she had been able to beat the woman made me proud of her.
I left the table a few moments later, setting my dish into the sink with a small smile. Chopper was now enraptured by the cook's story of his fight with the wolf-man, not even seeming to notice when I moved him off my lap. I wondered if there were any good books within this building. My book had long since gone and the rest of them were gone with the rest of the crew's belongings. I was distinctly aware of Sanji's and Zoro's eyes keeping track of me, as if they believed I was going to leave out of the front door and run away.
I walked into one of the adjoining rooms, my eyes scanning for any sign of books within it. I spotted a pile of texts and quickly walked over, my hands beginning to shuffle through them. Several were clearly on ship building and ship care. One described the best ships for different areas while another was simply named after the city. And while I did care about the ship I was living on, I had no wish to read a text about it at the moment, although I wouldn't mind reading it later. I picked up the text named Water Seven and scanned through a few pages. I was delighted to find that it was a history of the island, describing life upon it from the beginning of the city to a few years prior.
I returned to the main area to find that Luffy had finished his enormous meal and had been returned to his bed, where he was snoring with a smile. Zoro sat nearby him, seemingly asleep as well. Sanji was busy with dishes while Nami talked with Chopper, a grin on both of their faces. Nami looked up at me when I walked in, her smile growing. Chopper hopped off of the bench and went to Luffy, no doubt examining him once again.
The navigator walked over to me. "Hey, Robin, do you have any plans today?" she inquired happily. I held up my book with a small smile.
"I thought I might spend the day reading," I replied. Her smile grew to a more mischievous one, which worried me slightly. I doubted I would be manipulated by her due to it but it was impossible to be sure. It was more likely that she wished to torture another of the crew with her free time.
"Good. I need to get some tanning in. There's supposed to be a pool around here somewhere," she told me, her smile all but glued on. A touch of amusement filled me. A pool sounded good, even if I wasn't going to be venturing within the water anytime soon. But it would be nice to be able to lie down in the sun and read.
"I suppose I'll bring my book with me," I replied. She nodded before rushing over to what seemed to be a shopping bag.
"I bought swim suits for us," she explained before taking them out with a grin. One was simply filled with white polka dots on yellow fabric while the other was more simple, a solid purple. She handed the purple suit to me with a slight frown. "I wasn't sure what you would like best,"
I took the suit calmly. "It's just fine, Nami," I replied. She seemed relieved, her gaze sweeping around the room and landing on the swordsman. The evil grin resurfaced.
"I think we might want some protection when we venture out. After all, there might still be marines around," she inquired. My gaze went to her intended victim who had clearly heard the conversation and was trying to ignore her. I decided to spare him the annoyance of my dear cohort.
"I'm certain Mr. Cook wouldn't mind accompanying us," I told her. Her attention snapped back to me before she shook her head slightly. Her gaze went to the cook, who was watching us intently while trying to hide it. It was quite clear he had no scruples coming with us. In fact, it appeared as if he believed the opposite. She motioned for me to follow her before walking outside. I followed silently, wondering what she was planning. The door closed behind us firmly.
"I don't feel like being fawned over like that," she told me when the door was shut. "Besides, he deserves to rest too and he won't with us," I watched her face for a moment before realizing her thoughts. She truly wanted protection while we were relaxing and to be able to let down her guard for a little while. I smiled slightly.
"If anyone comes, I'm more than capable of handling it," I assured her. She suddenly looked as though I had horribly offended her.
"But then you won't be able to relax," she murmured.
"I'm fine without relaxing, Nami," I replied. "I'm relaxed enough knowing that I have the crew to look after me," She frowned lightly before nodding. Her bright smile returned in an instant.
"Let's get changed so we can find the pool," she bubbled before going back inside. I followed her promptly, noticing the way Sanji and Zoro watched as we walked away, one of the men wary and the other hopeful. The expressions vanished when we left to go find the pool.
It took only a matter of moments to find the pool and lawn chairs to stretch out across. Nami adjusted an umbrella to cover her head before she let out a content sigh and closed her eyes. I cracked open my book and began to read, lying on my stomach, the sun softly warming my body in the most pleasant way.
The sound of someone jumping into the pool woke me up in an instant, head rising to look around in surprise. I blinked, taking in the open book that my head had been using a pillow, surprise spreading across my body. That was quite odd. I hadn't fallen asleep above a book in forever; never let myself relax enough to. In fact, it was hard to remember the last time it had even occurred. A small smile crossed my lips before my gaze went to the pool.
Nami was currently swimming in the pool slowly, seemingly quite relaxed. She stopped at the end of the pool closer to me, gaze locking on me.
"Oh, you're awake," she exclaimed. "You should come in, the water's nice," I shook my head lightly but gently closed my book and walked over to her, sitting at the edge of the water.
"I'm afraid I'm unable to do so," I murmured. She stared at me for a moment in confusion before nodding, her gaze almost bashful. Even so, I moved my legs so that they dangled in the water, the cool liquid coming up no further than my ankles. It was an interesting feeling and just as much relaxing as lying out in the sun.
Nami let out a small sigh and moved to float on her back, her gaze going to the sky. I watched with a smile, slowly moving my toes in the water, feeling the liquid running through the spaces. I placed my hands on the ground beside me and slowly lowered myself back, watching the blue sky. Clouds drifted along every now and then in a comforting way, drifting without a purpose. My body felt at peace, the tension leaving my muscles in an unfamiliar but nice way. A true smile blossomed on my lips as I closed my eyes.
Moments later, I heard footsteps and my eyes snapped back open. Chopper and Zoro were walking over, the little doctor carrying a tray of drinks. He seemed quite happy and the swordsman seemed slightly sullen although Chopper's presence seemed to cheer him up.
My gaze went down to Nami, who was watching with a smile. She waved to them before swimming up to the edge of the pool. Chopper's steps grew faster as he hurried to get to us so much that he tripped, sending the drinks flying. His bright smile quickly turned to one of horror. I caught the drinks with my devil's fruit ability in an instant as well as the little doctor.
I left the pool and walked over to him with a smile. "Are you alright?" I inquired gently. He blushed and nodded, looking embarrassed.
"Yeah," he told me softly. I smiled and stood back up.
"Good," I replied with a smile. I took the drinks from the hands and walked over to give one to Nami, who was getting out of the pool. Nami took it with a smile before she look where they came from. I sat back down on my chair, using a towel to dry off my feet silently.
"Where's Sanji?" she inquired.
"He's feeding Luffy. Idiot cook forced us to come," Zoro grumbled. Nami nodded and took a towel, drying herself off before sitting down.
"He didn't let Zoro go by himself because he'd get lost," Chopper added. The swordsman made a sound of annoyance before moving to look at the pool, grumbling something indiscriminate under his breath. I smiled lightly.
"He does get lost quite often," I teased lightly. I received an annoyed look in reply, not even bothering to reply. I smiled and took a sip of my drink. Chopper came over and sat next to me, watching Zoro's examination of the pool. Nami sipped her drink with a thoughtful look before she stood, taking her towel.
"I think I'm going to go back," she told me before leaving. I considered leaving with her for a moment but Chopper's hopeful gaze as he stared at the pool kept me in place.
"Do you want to go sit in the water?" I inquired softly when the navigator had left. The little doctor turned to me with a smile and nodded with excitement. My gaze went to the shallowest area of the pool before I rose, Chopper following me. We sat down in water that barely went further than my calves, Chopper touching the water in curiosity.
I smiled lightly as he watched the water before using an extra hand to splash him slightly. He whirled around in the water in surprise when the water hit his back, but the hand had already disappeared. He eyed the water in suspicion. I used my hand to splash him again. He turned again, looking confused. The original hand reappeared but he turned back in time to see it disappearing. He stared at me for a moment before splashing me with a little giggle.
I splashed back and very soon he was rolling with laughter as he tried to splash me back while I used multiple hands to splash him. He soon gave up altogether and just laughed. I smiled brightly at him and stopped the splashing, moving the hands to tickle him instead. I tilted my head and rested it on my arm, the smile still on my lips. I stopped the hands quickly but couldn't help but to laugh at the little doctor's soaked condition.
Chopper's gaze wandered around the pool before landing on the swordsman who was watching us with a grin. The little doctor's laughing quieted as he leaned up on his tippy-toes to whisper his plan in my ear. I smiled at the intended victim of the plot. Zoro suddenly looked slightly uncomfortable, as if he was thinking about moving, the same look that he got when Luffy was planning something stupid against him on his face. When Chopper turned back to look at him too, the look increased.
We waited a few moments, watching the water in silence, not wanting the swordsman to run away, waiting for him to relax a little. He relaxed rather quickly, gaze going to the water as well. In that moment, I used my devil's fruit ability to throw him into the water, where he landed with a loud splash. He rose to the surface with a scowl, gaze on Chopper and I laughing at him from our area. His scowl was quickly replaced with a light grin seconds before a low wall of water came at the two of us and the water fight began between the devil's fruit users and the non-devil's fruit user.
a/n: Hope everyone enjoyed. Next chapter should be posted in about two weeks. Hmmm, there's something else. Oh yeah, I put a poll on my profile about the future of this fic and I want your opinion of where to end the story. Thanks! And of course, reviews are always welcome. Hehe.
