Part 12:

Sian sat at the bureau in her hotel room looking into the mirror, she had just finished touching up her face with make-up and now she had found herself staring at her reflection, much like she had earlier in the day before she had argued with Sophie in the bathroom.

As she sat there she went over the days events in her head; she had never expected to see Sophie today, Ryan had never mentioned he was still in touch with her so she just figured that her turning up wouldn't even be a possibility. And then like a bolt out of the blue, there she was, Sophie standing there with Maria watching Sian walk down the aisle. To be fair she had looked as stunned as the blonde, obviously unaware that Sian was still a major player in Ryan's life. Even then, with the crazy wide-eyed look on her face she hadn't missed how stunning the brunette looked; it was obvious Sophie was older, she had a more mature appearance and carried sophistication about her. She looked more beautiful to Sian than the blonde had ever seen her, if anything it instantly made the older girl more attracted to her ex, subsequently causing to dislike the fact that Sophie was there even more.

Sitting there now, she couldn't work out how the day had panned out the way it did, she never would've thought that when she retired to her room that night that she'd be waiting for Sophie to show up.

Speaking of Sophie, it had been fifteen minutes and she still hadn't shown. Too keen Sian. So what she's five minutes late? Probably got chatting. She'll be here.. But what if she doesn't come? What if you've just put yourself out there and she's gonna ditch you? What if she wants to humiliate you all over again..?

Sian shook her head, trying to shake her thoughts away as she began putting her make-up back in it's bag. Don't be stupid! You heard her down there. No one recites wedding vows if they're not interested! No one bloody recites wedding vows full stop! Sian sighed, she was getting herself in a state and she didn't know why, she was sure Sophie wasn't gonna come up - yeah she'd always been the brave one but maybe this time she'd think it be best if they both cut their losses before either of them got hurt again - but maybe it was already too late for that.

Sian stood up from the bureau and moved over to the full-length mirror on the hotel wardrobe. She looked at herself turning to her side and mulling over her figure, she tilted her head admiring the bridesmaid gown she had been fashioning all day. It was a beautiful dress, she thanked God her friend had good taste and hadn't made her wear some floral number with loads of frills. Yeah, it was a shame she wouldn't be able to wear that dress again. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride..

She moved over to her suitcase, plonking it on the bed and unzipping it to remove her night attire. She laid her optional pyjamas out on the bed; joggers and a college sweatshirt for comfort or a slinky little slip that showed off her curves in all the right ways. Of course the latter wasn't her everyday nightwear but she had brought it in case she had got lucky, bridesmaids often pull at weddings apparently, she just didn't expect it to be an ex, the ex in fact.

As she stood there, hands on her hips, she stared down at her options before glancing over at the digital alarm clock on the bedside table. It's been twenty-five minutes now..

Sian sighed looking back down at her pyjama options; she bit the inside of her cheek feeling her heart sink a little. "Trackies it is" she whispered to herself before throwing the slip back in her bag.

Meanwhile downstairs Sophie stood at the bar with Maria, both with a drink in their hand discussing what had happened outside before and after Ryan and the older girl had interrupted Sophie and Sian.

"So she's waiting for you right now?" Maria questioned.

Sophie nodded taking a sip of her drink.

"So why are you still stood here?"

Sophie sighed putting her glass on the bar and running her free hand through her hair, "I don't know".

Maria groaned, "Sophie!"

"What if she's changed her mind? What if I go up there and we just get into a row? What if she regrets it? What if -"

Sophie was interrupted by Maria before she could continue on her tangent, "what if, what if, what if?! Who cares?!"

"I do!" Sophie cried.

"You've been chasing her all day Sophie, what's changed now? Fine, I understand that there's a chance either of you could regret it if you go to her room, both of you even.. But if you don't, that's not a maybe. You will regret that" Maria insisted.

Sophie didn't know what to say, she knew Maria was right. What else had she been following Sian around all day for if it wasn't this chance? There weren't any doubts in her mind that she wanted to go to Sian's room, even if nothing happened just to spend more time with the blonde would be enough. And if it so happened that they ended up spending the night together and subsequently the rest of their lives, what would be so bad about that? She just needed to stop thinking about what could happen afterwards and focus on the now. Sian had invited Sophie to her room, whether it was to chat or sleep or a steamy encounter, who cared? She'd be nuts not to just go up and see.

Maria watched Sophie, she could see the brunette was trying to come to some kind of conclusion in her own mind. "..Do you know what I would give for one more night with Liam?" Maria asked Sophie earnestly.

Sophie looked at Maria, a sadness washing over the hairdresser's eyes.

"One more minute would be enough for me" Maria said swallowing down the lump in her throat. "You've been given the one thing we all want Soph, a second chance. Don't waste it".

Forty-five minutes had already passed since Sian had been downstairs and she had finally given up hope that Sophie was going to show. She switched the bathroom light off as she left the room donning her grey college sweater and jogging bottoms to match. She had brushed her teeth and washed off the make-up she had spent time re-doing in the hope that Sophie would've come upstairs unable to resist her offer of some real privacy.

She looked around the empty hotel room, her belongings scattered in various places; a coat draped over the armchair in the corner, her dress hanging over the stool in front of the bureau and her case set at the side of it. Then her eyes fell onto the king size bed in the centre of the room, and again she could feel that horrible sinking of her heart inside herself. Was this her destiny? To attend weddings alone of people she knew and constantly be reminded that her wedding day had already come and gone with nothing or no one to show for it. No wife or house with beautiful kids, just a white dress shoved at the back of her wardrobe and a ring on a chain stuffed in a drawer. Talk about pity party.

As she made her way over to the bed she lifted her arms and tied her hair up into a casual ponytail. She pulled the duvet back and climbed into the freshly made bed; normally this feeling would bring her a warm glow at home but not tonight, all she could feel was how empty the bed was. She sighed reaching over for the remote and turning the flat-screen TV on in front of her, she then threw it to the side not bothering to flick through the channels. Her next movement was to sit up and move herself to the middle of the bed, she had worked out over the years that it wasn't healthy to sleep on a specific side so she always opted for the middle, in her eyes if you had a side you were setting yourself up to feel even lonelier knowing there was no one else to fill the space beside you. She had of course shared a bed since Sophie, but it was never for more than a few hours; if she had a one night stand she would often creep out as quickly as possible or make the excuse of an early start so the other person would feel they had to leave. And when it came to the girls she had dated regularly she always made sure not to have 'sleepovers', that way she'd never get used to having someone there to hold.

She began arranging the pillows; two plumped up behind her and the other two placed either side of her creating a soft wall around her. She took a deep breath pulling the covers up to her shoulders as she lay down on her side, cuddling one of the pillows, her neck craning low to stare at the television screen.

Just as Sian began to relax her phone began to play out its ring tone, she sighed exhaustedly shutting her eyes for a moment as she did so. She looked over at it vibrating on the side and leant over looking at the screen. She muttered to herself before sliding her finger over the screen and pushing it to her ear. "Hiii Christine" she sang, trying to sound cheerful and just as she did so she heard a rapping on her door that caused her to sit bolt up right.

As her friend continued to jabber in her ear Sian was sat staring at the short corridor to her door panic coursing its way through her body. Again there was a knock at the door, which immediately caused her to rise to her feet on the bed. She glanced down at her body immediately cursing herself internally at choosing the wrong attire, fuck fuck fuck!

The knocking came again with a more frantic rap to it so Sian moved off the bed turning the TV off as she did and threw the remote on the empty armchair. "Yep.. Ah ha" she aimlessly said over the phone to make it sound as though she was keeping up with the conversation she was supposed to be having. She bent over to look in the mirror of the bureau Christine still talking on the other end of the phone. Sian cursed herself once more when she saw her face was free from any cosmetics and sighed looking over to the door. Sophie knows what you look like without make-up. Just answer the door. She frantically opened her make-up bag causing cosmetics to spew over the bureau; once she had found her lip gloss she applied it as quickly and perfectly as she could. Sian then threw the item onto the side and with her free hand pulled her hair free from it's ponytail, leaving the hair tie at her wrist. She ran her fingers through her locks trying to give it some shape, but she sighed when she could see it was lifeless.

Finally Sian took a deep breath and stood up straight walking slowly towards the door, she allowed a couple of "yeah's" to leave her mouth to give Christine the impression that she had been listening to whatever she was saying, but unfortunately Sian hadn't taken any of the information in having been too distracted by the prospect of Sophie standing on the other side of her bedroom door. Once she had finally reached her destination she took another breath letting it out slowly. Be casual. She quickly thought to switch the corridor light off, it was brighter than the lamps further in the room and she didn't want to draw more attention to the fact that she didn't have her face on. Once the corridor filled with a dim lighting she reached down to the door handle, her phone still held to her ear with her other hand, and opened it.

"..it's my wedding, I can't believe you've -" Christine stopped herself mid-sentence looking towards Sian. She looked her up and down, "what took you so long to answer the door?!"

Sian sighed dropping her hand to her side, "sorr-"

Christine pushing passed to enter the hotel room interrupted Sian mid-apology, "as I was saying it's my wedding. I can't believe you've just gone to bed without saying a word".

Sian turned round letting the door close behind her as she watched her friend end their phone call. She scratched her forehead throwing her phone onto her bed, "I'm sorry, I was just tired".

"Well I'd understand if you'd pulled" Christine moaned.

"Well as you can see I haven't" she said dryly, gesturing to her empty room. "I would've come to say goodnight but you looked like you were having fun".

Christine looked around Sian's room, "you haven't wasted any time getting cosy".

Sian shrugged walking over to her bed and perching on the end, "like I said, I'm tired".

Christine narrowed her eyes at her friend, "you sure it's nothing to do with that brunette of yours? It's gone ten, I'm sure it wouldn't be as rude to ask her to leave now.."

"No, don't be silly, honestly I'm just knackered. And she's not my brunette" Sian reasoned.

"The party's only just starting down there"

"So go and enjoy it then" Sian said, plastering her best smile over her face.

"Sian.." Christine whined.

"Honestly babe, I'm not much company. I think it's all caught up with me. And some of us haven't got two weeks in Mexico to get over all this excitement!" Sian remarked.

A smile pitched itself at the side of Christine's mouth, "mm, well it would've been three if Ryan wasn't so tight!"

Both girls let out small giggles before locking eyes.

Christine shrugged, "thanks for being a bridesmaid".

Sian smiled, "thanks for asking".

Christine grinned before leaning down and pulling Sian into a hug who squeezed her in return.

"Right, go on" Sian started as she pulled out of the cuddle. "Go back to your wedding Mrs Connor".

Christine smiled brightly standing up straight, "you sure I can't tempt you?"

"In my PJ's? I don't think so."

"..Alright" Christine said begrudgingly, "but if you change your mind.."

Sian nodded, "see you in two weeks".

Christine smiled weakly at her friend giving the room one last look before making her exit.

Sian watched the bride walk out of her room, the door clicking shut behind her. She let out a sigh of relief before falling back onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling. Thank God Sophie hadn't come up. That would've been awkward if Christine had come looking for me.,

She lay there for a moment wondering about what she was missing out on downstairs, maybe if she was still in her gown Christine could've persuaded her to go back down but now she was in her pyjama's she was just too committed to an early night spent thinking about her ex.

She yawned tiredly sitting up on the bed before moving over to the stool at her bureau; the blonde tied her hair back into it's previous ponytail and reached over for her baby wipes. "Stupid cow.." she muttered to herself throwing the wipes down and running the one she'd pulled from the packet across her lips, getting rid of any of the lip gloss she'd applied.

Another knock soon came at her door and as Sian turned her head she let a whiny voice take over, "Ugh Christiiiinnnee!" She threw the wipe down and got up from the stool, making her way back to the door. Her face was crumpled up to match her voice as she opened it, but she wasn't met with her friend. "Sophie?"