Chapter Twelve

By the time they managed to get Loz to rest it was well past midnight. They managed to clear his lungs and he was no longer coughing up blood-but he was weak and fragile, his body trembling excessively. Kadaj and Yazoo took turns watching over him, forcing their half-conscious brother to swallow medicine and keeping his fever down. His cough had migrated into something un-nameable. He had a high temperature of a dangerous fever, his body constantly shaking and his breathing erratic. He was constantly hot and tried to throw off the blanket but neither Yazoo nor Kadaj would let it happen. At points Loz drifted from unconsciousness, delirious and confused and next to speechless but his brother's comforted him as best they could while trying to be strong although they were more scared for his life. Even at points when Loz opened his eyes, they were turning grey and his pupils were spotting white. Loz would abruptly tremble and his eyes would clench shut when light was forced in.

Kadaj lay in the other room sleeping while Yazoo took his turn looking over Loz. It was the fourth night and Loz had yet to leave the bed. His condition had worsened and Yazoo and Kadaj had sacrificed their training to be by his side.

Yazoo's hand clutched Loz's larger one, his body curled up on the bed next to his older brother. His eyes watched Loz's expression and being careful not to let himself fall asleep. He smiled as Loz drifted back awake, his hand squeezing Yazoo's comfortingly. "Hey Yazoo…What's going on?"

Yazoo gave a weak smile and leaned up, pressing his lips to Loz's forehead. "I don't know. You're really sick and we don't know if you'll get better…." Yazoo trailed off, his throat dry and his voice weak and dreary. He slid up against his brother and felt Loz groan as he tried to shift to face Yazoo. Yazoo stilled him with his palm on his chest, making Loz relax and lay back. Yazoo looped his arm over Loz and nuzzled his face into his neck. Just this closeness comforted Yazoo; made Loz's illness seem less real but as if on cue Loz coughed violently, his body jerking roughly but Yazoo held him down with his body weight and called out for Loz to try to breathe and calm down. But his words were lost as Loz suddenly went still and his skin burned where Yazoo's fingers gripped Loz's bare arms.

With a cry Yazoo wrenched his hands back and stared at his reddened fingers, the giostigma like discolouration appearing on the abused skin. Loz's body convulsed suddenly and Yazoo had to throw his body over his brothers' in order for Loz to remain on the bed. An ear pitching and pitiful wail was ripped from Loz's already dry throat and his hands clawed at the sheets, then suddenly he clutched his head and began to sob, his body shivering, suddenly cold. Words escaped in whispers, sounding a mixture of Yazoo and Kadaj's names and only then did Yazoo realize that Kadaj was there with them, sitting on the other side of Loz, his face a pearly, almost ghastly white.

Yazoo gulped back his fear and ran his fingers over Loz's hands before prying them from his hair. "Loz…We're here." Yazoo reminded him but Loz gave another violent shiver and his hands sprang mechanically back to his face and he groaned painfully. A cry of shock alerted him to the youngest of the silver haired siblings.

Yazoo's eyes caught Kadaj's and immediately he looked to Loz's ears where blood was seeping out. Loz convulsed and dropped back. He was very still but still breathing. Kadaj was trying to wipe away the blood and sighed heavily as nothing more came out. Yazoo cleaned up his brothers' other ear and grabbed a cold face cloth and wiped the sweat from Loz's face and neck. Loz's cheeks were deeply red, part from where his own nailed had clawed at his skin and the rest from exertion and the fever. Looking at him now as he lay unmoving, Loz looked even frailer, his skin seeming to sink into his bones and veins, like a dying body. Yazoo's heart fluttered, and not from excitement. Kadaj seemed to have noticed it too because he was frantically trying to get Loz to wake up, to say something, anything. Loz gave a lousy grunt and coughed, which sounded like a bunch of hacking and pained gasps. Loz wasn't getting enough air.

"Sit him up!" Yazoo instructed, already grabbing at Loz's shoulders while Kadaj quickly jumped into action, helping him get Loz up. Yazoo pushed too fingers past Loz's lips, forcing his mouth open so he could look inside. There's wasn't anything visibly blocking his air way but Loz was still struggling for air in his lungs. Again he suddenly slackened, falling back into an unconscious state and his breathing cleared up a bit but remained steadily quick and heavy. It was like a yo-yo with Loz suddenly changing states. It was incredibly frightening for the younger brothers who had no clue what was happening to their older cry-baby brother.

The next 24 hours was like a living hell. Both siblings didn't dare leave Loz's side, only to retrieve water or a fresh cloth or more medication which was seemingly useless, none of the effects of the drugs were even being glimpsed as Loz's state grew increasingly worse. Kadaj had cried and then threw a tantrum, feeling just as helpless as Yazoo with trying to save their brother who was dying. They had concluded that he was dying. There was no other explanation. Medication wasn't working, his fever-which they hardly believed it was-wasn't going anywhere. Loz hadn't woken up at all and now was frequently having seizure-like attacks about every 10 to 25 minutes. He had lost so much weight through the last few hours and was unhealthily skeletal and oddly hot. His skin hurt to touch and his eyes-when Yazoo or Kadaj pulled back his eyelids-were only the milky white with red little veins that seemed to throb and thin out. It was sickening but neither brother would part from their brother in his death bed. Neither Kadaj nor Yazoo doubted that Loz was dying. It was like his body was losing everything it needed to sustain itself. Loz had lost all strength, and mentality. He would no longer respond to anything his siblings said or did and he never even flickered towards consciousness. He was dying.

Yazoo and Kadaj were both sullen, not once averting their attention from the older clone. Nothing else cropped into their mind besides how much they loved Loz and how much they needed him. He was always there for them when he could be, and he was a link that kept Yazoo and Kadaj together-even when they all fought. Not only that, but they needed him to fight Sephiroth. Though neither Kadaj nor Yazoo had said a word, both had already thought over how they were now at a greater disadvantage. Without Loz they were a member short and a member weaker. Kadaj was an independent fighter but Yazoo had a lot of dependence on Loz in partner combat. He was exceptionally skilled on his own but with Loz he felt more secure and more unbeatable. Now that Loz was like this…their connection was broken.

Yazoo intertwined his fingers with Loz, his other hand linking with Kadaj's over top of their sick brother. For a while there was silence and suddenly the overwhelming heat of Loz's skin started to fade away and became chilled as ice in the middle of the arctic. Just as quickly as it happened it stopped and suddenly it felt like they were holding paper in their fingers. Mortified, they wanted to do something but were at a complete loss. Loz's body was deathly still and it was clear he wasn't breathing. But the odd thing was the smirk plastered to his lips. It was a smirk. But not a smirk that Loz has ever made. It was cruel and satisfied and suddenly Yazoo felt a sharp of pain, like a stab to his heart and he wrenched back, clattering to the floor and suddenly Kadaj screamed out, oblivious to Yazoo's sudden departure from the bedside. Yazoo strained through half-lidded eyes and his eyes popped wide as he saw Loz's body lifting and dematerializing into aqua-green hues of light and dust, shooting towards the window and evaporating into the distance.

Kadaj cried out, pained and anguished as he clawed at the air for his brother and Yazoo tried too but neither could grasp what seemed to be Loz' life and body and soul that was all made into the brilliant bright light that flushed out the window. Helplessly they watched it all leave and as sore at Yazoo felt he stood up and watched, not shedding a single tear. He wasn't the crying type. He had cried…but he couldn't seem to be able to bring himself to do it this time. He had never felt sadder but he couldn't conjure up a single tear drop. Kadaj had no issues doing so. He screamed out, eyes wide as he watched the lights face, clutching his shirt over his heart as tears streamed freely down his face. His eyes were filled with anguish but anger seeped into his eyes and suddenly Kadaj dropped to the bedside and pounded at the mattress. He demanded for Loz to return, to come back to them and for things to be well again but his words fell on deaf ears except for Yazoo's who could do nothing but wish for the same but no matter how hard either of them wanted or wish for it, Loz was not coming back and they felt incredibly empty and alone although they still had each other. It wasn't enough. When they lost Loz last time it was different. They had seen what happened to him but now they had no excuse and no answers. Just sadness and a bunch of unanswered questions.

After what seemed like an eternity, which had only in fact been a couple of minutes, Yazoo knelt down beside his brother and pulled him into a hug and suddenly Kadaj was clutching to him, hands gripping tightly to Yazoo as if he would disappear any second now. Yazoo held him, running his hands up and down Kadaj's back and just sat there in each others arms and Yazoo realized he was crying. His body sagged against Kadaj and he drew him closer and they shed their tears in silence, no longer calling out or sobbing verbally. Just silent tears and the embrace of their familiar bodies and heat.

And at some point both brothers had laid down, not on the bed but on the cold floor and allowed themselves to drift off onto dreamless sleep. Neither dreamt of Loz or of anything else for that matter. They slept behind blackness and pain and silence and woke up in silence and didn't bother to move. Although their bodies ached from sleeping on the hard floor neither of them sought to move. They didn't care about themselves. They just mourned in silence, sharing each others pain without the need to share words or even looks. Finally Yazoo stirred and dislodged himself from Kadaj's grip. He got up and dusted himself off and offered his hand to help Kadaj get to his feet.

They took a shower together, cleaning themselves thoroughly. They didn't touch Loz's shampoo which was left on the rail of the bathtub, nor did they pack his clothes when they left. They didn't need any of his stuff, not even his weapons. They didn't need the memories constantly being shoved in their faces when ever they'd look at anything that was his. That's why they left everything of Loz behind. As they drove away not a glance back was spared. Not a word spoken. Not a tear shed. They knew this time-even though there was no explanation how-that Loz would not be returning to them. No luck was on their side this time. They had finally become a two person team and they needed to be strong.

XXX…

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I'm lazy and I can't help it. I'm in writers block (have been for months and it's torturing me and my friends and my readers)

Hopefully this chapter was a bit satisfying-though it didn't answer what's wrong with Loz. But that's my little creative secret which I'll reveal later.

Feel free to drop off comments.

Until next time.