All thanks to Ms. _the Pale. As always.


Love was a pipedream, a fantasy. It had taken three hundred fifty years for it to happen the first time, and had ended the instant his vampire nature was unleashed. More than fifty years later, he had been certain he'd found it again, only to sit shattered and alone, while Mick was at her side. He cursed his stupidity. Why had he allowed himself to believe Beth loved him? Women in love did not run from their men in time of crisis, they ran to them. Bitterly, he accepted that for her, it had always been Mick…


Mick was glad to have some time alone, half an hour on big, mindless highways, as he drove from San Antonio to Bandera. He would have to pay attention, be careful not to let his mind wander too far, or he would miss the turn-off to Route 16.

Some smooth sailing, he thought, running his palm over his frowning face. He hoped he would find Beth ready to heal, prepared to talk about all that had happened. Who knew? She might be in utter denial, or worse, she might think her sins unforgiveable. At least the cause of her pain was something he knew about, all too well. Had it not been for Josef… Damn. The thought of the heinous acts he'd committed still caused him grief, all these years later. Had Josef not been there to knock some sense into him, he might still be drinking rodent blood and living guilty and alone. But Josef had made him understand the difference between survival and cruelty, that no one had to die to feed him, that vampires, too, had a stringent code. He'd had to learn it, and live it.

Would Beth feel the same way? She had not actually hurt Coraline, and she certainly hadn't killed her, and he was not entirely sure why she'd run from them. She was not a vampire, even though the drug allowed her to pretend. Mick supposed pretense only went so far. When the stuff had worn off, she'd apparently seen things differently. He had to help her understand how to live with what she'd done, if he could. Beth would laugh at him, but here he was, rushing to save her, maybe on the back of a white horse.


Beth stared at her reflection, wondering if she would ever see herself as she had just two days before. It seemed a lifetime ago. She felt a lifetime older, weary. Mick should be here any minute, and she found herself wondering if he would see her as differently, how he would look at her. The knock at her door told her she was about to find out.

"Hi sweetheart," Mick said, touching her arm, needing to feel that she was all right. "How are you?"

It looked just like Mick, seeing her with the same caring concern, the same loving eyes. "I've been better. Come on in. I pumped up the air conditioning for you."

"Aren't you cold?"

No, she thought, not yet. However, if this awkward small talk continued, as she feared it would, she would be, soon. "No, I'm okay. Come have a seat." She patted the padded bench that served as a couch.

Mick sat close, stretching his arm behind her. Not wanting to press her into anything, but wanting her to know that if she craved the warmth of him, he was open, and waiting. Impulsively, he toyed with a strand of her hair.

"How can you?" she asked quietly.

"Touch you?" he asked, confounded by the question. She nodded, subtly removing his contact. "I love to touch you."

She looked at him warily and noticed the change in him. "You're human again."

"Yes."

"I'm glad for you." She moved slightly further away from him.

"You're retreating. You don't like me human?" It was a harder question to ask than he expected it to be, and he hoped her answer would not hurt. Being human was hard sometimes, too.

Looking away, out the window at the horses in the corral, she said, "I love you. It's just harder for me, what I've done to Coraline, to Josef, your judging me…"

"You think I'd judge you differently? Why would you think that?"

"You've seen my capacity."

"Probably not."

A look of horror crossed her face. "You think I could be worse?"

"I think," he said, gathering her close to him, "That none of us knows what we're capable of, until we're called to it. I think that you thought you were saving the woman I love. I know that you did save Coraline, at an enormous cost to you. And I know I'll never forget the sacrifice you made for me. Another among the many sacrifices you've made for me." He wanted her to remember that she had killed to save him. That even full of apprehension, she'd saved his life with her blood in the desert. "You are an extraordinarily brave person."

"I don't feel brave."

"You are. And you can prove it," he said lightly. "I've been hungry since I saw a sign outside the restaurant in town. Think you can watch while I eat chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes, and okra?"

For the first time since the incident, he saw her smile. "I think you may need a hero if you eat that for dinner. Although, I guess I have seen you near-death before. Okay. Let's go eat."


Josef woke just before sunset, rising from the marble slab he called his bed. The purchase of this walk-in freezer was an indulgence he once relished. Now he wondered if it were a sign of something terribly sad. All vampires slept the silent sleep of the dead. There was no sense of confinement; there were no dreams, no sense of… anything. Honestly, he was old enough to have spent his nights in the coolest places he could find, and he had survived, had even thrived. He could spend the night in a bed, on the floor, in a closet. He had done all those things, and he was still alive to tell the tale. He could continue to fool himself for as long as he chose to, but it was an unnecessary indulgence with absolutely no reason, unless it was to further distance himself from humans, or maybe it was an unconscious form of protection when he was at his most vulnerable.

One thing of which he was sure was that he had slept uninterrupted. The other was that being without Beth gave an entirely new definition to vulnerable.


Beth relaxed as their dinner progressed, laughing as Mick continued to pile more of the admittedly delicious fried okra on to his plate. "Good thing we live in L.A. You are going to have to throw yourself on the mercy of a personal trainer if you stay human for a while."

He sighed heavily. "Only a couple of days, I'm sorry to say. But it does mean I can gorge myself while I may."

"Well I certainly love the look on your face when you're enjoying your food."

"Ah, but will you love me when I'm fat and old and grey?"

"You're my champion, Mick," she said, touching his hand. "I'll always love you." She sat back in her chair, finally at ease with him. "It will probably be harder, with your bald head glaring at me, but I think I'll be able to manage."

"Bald! Geez, I hadn't thought of bald. Now there's transplants, and Rogaine…"

"Stop. It's okay. I'm okay. I'll deal with it."

"You don't have to deal with it alone." He turned his attention to the waitress, who inquired as to their dessert preferences. "I'll have the banana pudding."

"We'll just have the check, please," Beth interceded.

"But Beth, they have banana pudding!"

"They do. Sadly, I don't have a forklift to get you out of here."

Mick directed a helpless, pleading look at their server, who looked first at Mick, then Beth, before moving away.

"I haven't had home-made banana pudding in over fifty years."

"It'll be here tomorrow, Mick."

"Here you go, darlin'," the waitress said as she placed first the check, then a large serving of pudding, in front of Mick, who flashed her his biggest smile. She turned to Beth. "If you have any trouble getting' him up, I'll be happy to help. Get you anything else?"

If it they had been in L.A., Beth would have taken offense at what had just happened. Here, it was nothing more than a friendly poke. "Just a little more coffee, when you have a minute," Beth answered.

A smile spreading across her face, she nodded, "Comin' right up."

Beth could not stop smiling as Mick spooned the pudding into his mouth, moaning as he ate. "Taste this. It's delicious," he said, offering her a spoonful, which met her lips with a resounding "Mmmm."

"How is it?" the waitress asked as she poured Beth's coffee.

"It's wonderful, and I think I'm in love with you."

"We'll keep that hush-hush, my husband Chet is the jealous type. But I sure appreciate that, handsome."

"I'm not half as delicious as this pudding." Dropping his voice to a whisper, he added, "And I'll keep my intentions toward you on the down-low, no need to rile Chet."

"Hope you're keeping this one," she said to Beth, before sashaying off toward the kitchen.


Each time his phone rang, Josef jumped in eager anticipation, and each time the adrenaline rush gave way to an even stronger wave of disappointment. Why the hell couldn't Mick give him a call? He had to have seen Beth by now, and Mick understood how much it meant to Josef to know that she was all right.

Maybe she wasn't all right. Maybe she was catatonic, or dead. No, Mick would have called if she were dead. He had to calm down.

He had to talk to Beth. Yes, he had promised not to try to contact her, but that was before his utter loneliness had left a gaping hole in his psyche. He hardly knew himself; his ambition, his thirst, his every desire had disappeared overnight.

Several times, he had dialed Mick's number, but the calls went to straight to voicemail, and his imagination went straight to the torturous vision of Mick and Beth, making love in a field of blue bonnets, or whatever wildflowers humans could lay amid on a sunny afternoon. He hoped Mick got a rousing case of poison ivy, if what he imagined were true.


As sunset waned into night, they strolled the quaint main street in silence. Mick, hesitant to talk about anything other than the smell of roses in the air, the horses tied to rough-hewn posts, the friendly smiles of passers-by, made an occasional attempt to broach a more meaningful subject, but Beth was unresponsive. Finally, he asked if she would like to return to the ranch.

She did no more than nod, and moved to cross the street for their return to the car.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Beth asked in response.

"I'm the man in this group. You shut up, I assume I said or did something wrong."

She briefly leaned against him. "No, you've done nothing wrong. I'm just thinking that I wish I could stay here forever."

"You could not stay here forever."

"No," she sighed, "You're right. I just… I'm afraid to face Josef. I… I am no longer sure I want him to turn me." There, she'd said it. Now, with Mick near, she felt safe again, felt cared for and about, she'd begun to think about how hurt Josef must be. She would be devastated if he'd run from her in a time of crisis, if had he not trusted that she'd love him no matter what he'd done, and help him no matter what it took.

"Call him, Beth. Do it now, before you find a thousand reasons why you shouldn't, why you can't, why he'll hang up on you. He loves you, and I'm sure that is not contingent on your being a vampire. Know how I know that? You're not a vampire."

She nodded as she climbed into the car, hoping Mick was not mistaken about how Josef felt about her now.

Their adjoining rooms were fairly well insulated, for which Beth was eternally grateful. If she cried uncontrollably, if the sound of her heart breaking were audible, she preferred Mick didn't hear it all, first hand. She knew how much he cared for her, that he'd left business unfinished with Coraline, flown halfway around the world to be by her side today, and she be damned if she would cause him further pain. With trembling hands, she dialed Josef's number.


His heart lurched as once again he heard the ringing of his phone. Josef had stopped answering it hours before, when the pleasant sound of voicemail became a living, breathing taunt. He had given his personal assistant the privilege; it was his brand new coping mechanism.

"Josef Kostan's number, how may I help you?"

Beth's heart sank. Josef always answered this number. Steeling herself, she asked, "Is Josef available? This is Beth Turner."

"If you'll hold one moment please, I'll check."

"Thank you." She laughed at his new choice of 'hold' music, 'Ain't No Easy Way' by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, agreeing there was no easy way out, and hoping she would not have to find any out at all.

"Beth is this really you?" Josef asked breathlessly.

"Yes, Josef." Great, make the call, say nothing.

"It's about time," he said, unable to hide the sigh of relief he'd been holding in for far too long.

"It's overdue."

"When are you coming home to me? I can send the plane now." Maybe that was too much, too soon, he second-guessed himself as he heard her start to cry. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to push, and I just miss you so. Come home to me when you're ready. I'll be waiting, however long it takes."

"Send the plane for Mick. He needs to get back to Ireland. I can find my way home," she said between gasps.

"To me?"

"Yes, Josef, to you."

"Are you all right? Is Mick there? What can I do…"

"In answer to your questions, I'll be better when I see you, Mick's in his room, I suppose, I'm not certain, and you've done exactly what you should. Avoid the crazy woman."

His voice choked with emotion, he responded. "That wasn't my choice, and if you ever turn your phone on, you'll find I reneged on my promise. I happen to be extremely fond of the crazy woman. I wish she hadn't run."

"Me too, but she's certifiable, what can she do?"

"Come back soon."

"I will, soon as I can."

"I'll get you a charter, I can have something out of Austin in an hour, I can send a helicopter to pick you up, I can…"

"You can stop right now. Please, just get Mick to Coraline. I have to know she'll get better, and she won't, without him."

"And you?" He thought it might have been the hardest question he'd ever asked, he felt as if his very purpose hung suspended, awaiting her answer.

"Mick has helped me a lot. But he's not all I need to get better, Josef."

"I love you, you know?"

"I guess we'll see if you still love me, after we talk."

He paused, wondering what she was thinking. "I guess. I can't be absolutely positive until I see you, but I'm pretty certain."

"I'll call you in the morning, when I have an ETA. I love you."

"That's what they all say," he teased, relief flooding through him.


"Mick?" Beth knocked lightly at his door, "Are you there?"

A moment later, Mick, towel wrapped around his waist, dark, damp hair curling wildly around his face, opened the door. "Come on in, grab a beer, I'll put on some clothes."

"You don't have to, I won't stay long." And I never mind the sight of you wet and nearly naked, she thought.

"It's okay, be right back." He grabbed sweats and a fresh tee shirt from his bag, and went into the bathroom. "No complimentary robes on the ranch. I am getting so damn spoiled. Some cowboy."

"It's easy to forget when you're used to big city hotels." She wondered at his new-found modesty, but was in no position to question it, having done so many damn weird things herself lately.

"I'm back," he said, settling beside her on the small couch, taking a swig from the long neck bottle on the small table in front of them. "Sure you won't stay for a beer? It tastes good especially good."

She nodded her assent, "Sure, thanks." She took a sipped from the frosty bottle, savoring the yeasty brew. "Ahh, nothing like a cold Lone Star." Absent-mindedly tracing the label with one finger, she added, "Mick, I called Josef."

"Does he hate you forever?"

She punched his arm. "No, he doesn't. I'm going home, maybe tomorrow. But he's sending his plane for you." Surprised at the emotion she heard in her voice, she added, "To take you back to Coraline."

Mick took a deep draught of the beer, sighing. "Now that I know you're okay, it's where I should be." He stared out the window for a moment wondering at the sense of loss he felt. "Let's sit outside for a while."

They sat in companionable silence, side by side in the rocking chairs, gazing out at the vast starry sky above them until the moon was at its zenith. Beth turned her attention to Mick, to his eyes, fighting to stay open, to stay awake for her. Yawning loudly, she said, "I'm sorry, Mick, I'm just so tired. See you in the morning?"

"Seven-thirty breakfast, right?" he groaned.

"It's a ranch, Mick. Everyone who lives here will have been up for hours." She smiled at him, tenderness filling her heart. "Goodnight." She opened her door, Mick watching until she was safely inside.


Mick lay in bed, the sleep he had craved moments before eluding him now, as he lay in the darkness, knowing Beth slept in her bed on the other side of the wall. His loneliness overwhelmed him, his perhaps misguided sense of obligation to Coraline warring with his overwhelming love for Beth. He could never tell her how wrong she was about his feelings for Coraline; Beth had needed to believe he was still in love with her, to do what she had done. The chemistry between him and Coraline was undeniable, but he had begun to wonder if that had been all he and Coraline had ever had. If she'd turned him because she'd sensed what he had not, hoping to keep him at her side when he realized there was only the overwhelming heat they generated, not the enduring love he'd believed they had. But he was committed to helping her, and committed to Beth's happiness. And if that meant freeing her to be with Josef, then that was exactly what he would do.


Abandoning any thoughts of sleep, Beth shuffled quietly around her room, not wanting to disturb the sleeping Mick. Selfishly, she wanted to knock at his door, to lay beside him one last night, to lose herself in the comfort of his arms, the scent of his skin, his life-long love for her. Even though she knew he belonged to Coraline, with Coraline, she might never feel comfortable with the two of them together. There would be no double dating, no weekend getaways, she with Josef, Mick with Coraline. If she had learned anything from the events of the last couple of days, it was that she could never completely forgive Coraline for the destruction of her childhood innocence. But never would she interfere with Mick's happiness, whether or not she approved of his choice of woman.

Deciding that watching the moon wane in the sky was preferable to silently pacing her room, Beth slipped out her door, avoiding the wooden planks that she knew creaked under her weight as best she could. She took a seat on the steps, fearing the sound of the rocker might wake Mick. Directing her gaze to the area she believed would be the horizon, if she could see it through the darkness, she allowed her thoughts to drift to Josef. Would he view her change of heart as a betrayal, or the lessening of her love for him? She knew now how deep her feelings toward him were, how lonely and empty she felt without him. What she didn't know was if he would feel the same toward her, once he knew of her doubts about becoming a vampire.

"Beth?" Mick's unexpected voice sent her bolting to her feet, surprise sending adrenalin pumping through her. "I'm so sorry I startled you. I thought I heard something, and I wanted to be sure…"

"I was safe." He nodded, an ironic smile fleeting across his face. Reading her expression, he turned and disappeared back into the room, leaving the door ajar. Beth followed, closing the door behind her.

He was already lying in bed, the covers pulled away, in offer of a place to rest beside him. Slipping out of her robe, she lay down, pulling the covers up under her chin, afraid to nestle too close, grateful to be near him. Mick turned toward her, his face barely visible in the waning light. Opening his arms to her, he waited with the patience he always extended to her. Sighing, she snuggled into his warm embrace, a sudden rush of emotions bringing tears to her eyes. Beth feared the morning, when Mick would rightly return to the woman he loved, and she would have to face a very uncertain future with Josef. If only she could remain in the sweet comfort of his arms, in this bed on this clear, starry night, nothing would hurt her. It was the knowledge that life could not freeze in this moment that kept her silent tears flowing.

"It's okay, baby," Mick cooed quietly against her hair, pulling her closer to him, overwhelmed with his desire to make her world right, to erase her sadness with his kiss. Instead, he continued to stroke her hair, smooth his hand over the velvet skin of her arm, rub her back, all the while fighting his primal urge to love away her fears. Finally, sniffling, she quieted, her even breathing indicating her surrender to sleep. A separate peace overtook Mick, carrying him to the same restful place, where mind and body knit back together what the day had unraveled.


Josef smiled contently at his freezer, the thought of one last night in the lonely chill, in blissful unconsciousness, would be especially welcome. It surprised him that the last couple of days were so unrelentingly painful. He loved Beth, but he had always believed that after the pain of what had happened to Sarah, he had hardened himself sufficiently that he would never agonize over another human again.

Another lesson in hubris, and he hoped that this time, it was a lesson well learned. Knowing that Beth was somewhere in this world, in pain, and knowing she could not let him help her, had almost been too much for his over-confident mind to bear. But the sound of her voice had humbled him in a way that surprised him. When he knew that she would come home, that he had a second chance with her, an unwitting revelation lodged in his selfish mind. While he had dazzled her and enchanted her and they had amazing sex together, he had never made her feel safe and secure. He simply had never stepped up and been the man she could depend on for something other than what his money could buy. Second chances were so very rare, and he savored the dream of the man he could be, for her. Settling comfortably into the cold, he satisfied himself with the thought of the endless possibilities the future held for them.


Whew. Finally. Almost done. Thanks for reading/reviewing.