Sorry it has taken so long to update. I'm trying to get a job and trying to start a family. Hopefully you like this new chapter.

It has been a few days since my breakdown during breakfast. Lady Galadriel says it's not my fault and that she forgives the outburst. Her husband, Lord Celeborn, doesn't really say anything. He just acts like it's my fault.

They and Elrond decided to send ten elves on the journey with us. The elves are supposed to take care of me, when the dwarves are fighting. Luckily Haldir is coming, the only one that I trust and know of the elves.

The dwarves want to leave before the Council members decide to stop the journey. One member of the council, Saruman the White, scares me. He tried to make the other members stop me from going and stay in Isengard.

Luckily Gandalf, Elrond, Radagast the Brown, Lady Galadriel and Cirdan the Shipwright overruled Saruman. Saruman wasn't happy, leaving the council room saying that their actions would destroy the world and kill them all.

Kili and I have been almost all our time together. I like how gentleman-like he is with me, without acting weird about what happened to me. He wants to kill Them but won't unless I ask him too. We spend time with the other dwarves and Bilbo.

Thorin and Dwalin have been teaching me how to fight. Kili was really upset but understood. He doesn't want anything to happen to me, not wanting me to fight unless all the elves and dwarves are not able to fight anymore.

But if anyone tells me to run, then I should. Haldir said that he would bring me back to Rivendell if that happens. I agreed to all the rules, knowing that it would take me years to get to the level of fighting that the others have.

I have started trusting Dwalin again. He is still scary but now I know that he would never harm me. He's just angry at what has happened to me or some of the jokes that Kili and Fili play on the group. Sometimes he gets to be too much and I stay by Kili again.

The elves and dwarves don't really like each other but I've been trying to get them to become almost friends. It helps that I trust Haldir, who is getting along with the dwarves for me, while the dwarves are getting along with Haldir for the same reason.

Kili, Fili, Ori, and Bilbo have gotten close to Haldir, easier than the others. Thorin keeps glaring at Haldir but not doing anything. He acts like a King, voice neutral, not frosty or too happy. He and the other dwarves keep me in their sights.

The elves act like they are better than the dwarves and vice versa. I explained that everyone is different. What one person has done doesn't mean that all that species or gender is the same. That helped bridge the gap between the species too.

Elrond has given me outfits for the journey. Also he gave me a knife that is big, which I mostly keep strapped to my hip. I don't like the idea of using it but will defend my friends. The knife only comes out during fighting practice.

Everyone is getting ready to leave for our journey. The elves have packed enough food, their weapons, blankets and anything else that they decided on. All I have in my pack are clothes and a few blankets, which Thorin says is fine.

For the past two days, everyone has been running around making sure they pack everything. I stay out of the way, knowing that I'm already packed. Thorin snorts at some of the things that the elves are packing but doesn't say anything.

Finally it's the night before we leave to continue our trip. I go to bed early, wanting to be well-rested. Kili follows and we climb into the same bed. Everyone else knows that we aren't having sex, just that we sleep better next to each other.

Ever since we started sleeping in the same bed, I haven't had nightmares. I am hoping that it will continue but my nightmares like to pop out during times of distress. Some of the nightmares leave me screaming because of what's happening in them.

Strangely, only when I have nightmares or when I really try can my voice go louder than a whisper. If I try to speak louder all the time, my vocal cords hurt and then I can't speak for a couple days, though I still scream during nightmares.