I felt someone trembling, and a sob before my eyes snapped open. Isabell was curled up in a ball aganist my chest balling her eyes out. I felt Christian heave himself over us and onto the other side of Isabell. I moved back some, bringing her with me, he settled himself on the other side of her. He sighed and rubbed her back while I stroked her hair.
"It's alright sweetie," I murmured.
"Everything is going to be okay," He whispered. I kissed her cheek and she sobbed clinging to me. Sometime after that I must have fallen back to sleep, because the next thing I knew there was a knock on my door, and Isabell wiggled out of our embrace and walked drozily to the door. She opened it up and there was an eeriy silence, and then she started screaming. By the time Christian sat up I was up, my sword in hand, and was charging towards the door. Before me Lucas stood there staring wide eyed at Isabell who was hidden behind my protective stance.
I growled menacingly, his look shifted to me and he took a step back. "Good the bastard had instincts." Darcy said. I grinned, which only seemed to add to his fear.
"I.. how... wha.." he stuttered. I growled and leapt pinning him down and pressed my sword onto his throat, careful not to draw blood or cut the skin. It was hard considering my clothes but I straddled him and he shook with fear. I could kill him, I could torture him and make him suffer the way he did to my sister and I. But I couldn't, Dimitri's face flashed in my head. I growled again, more fearol(or animalistic, but I feel like I'm using it to much), I slowly felt me losing myself, everything around me turning black and my vision going red. I needed to get control of myself and fast.
Darcy was whispering all the things we would do to him, and I just about gave in. But I did the hardest thing I had ever done, I leaned down and whispered in his ear.
"You are going to leave her alone, you will come no where near her. Or next time I won't be so nice. I'm not weak this time around, an army won't be enough to keep me from hunting you down and killing you. I've learned how to torture, I've done it before and I will do it again if needed. I can make you hurt in a way that will make death so appealing you will beg me to kill you. Don't tempt me and stay away from my family." I growled, the venom was so thick it almost scared me.
I got up and and stared down on him, slowly pulling back to myself, and away from the rage. I finally became aware of the people around me, Isabell was trembling in Christian's arms, Christian staring at me disapproval, and worry etched into his features. Isabell stood there terrified of me cowering into my brother, her protecter. That wouldn't be my job anymore, this war, it had changed me. Made me into something that wasn't the same, it made me and animal. Lastly Dimitri stood there staring at me, I told him what I could become, but now I see he hadn't believed me.
I pushed past Christian who tightened his grip on Isabell, he was scared I would hurt her. I growled quietly, just enough for him to hear. I picked up all my stuff, threw it in the duffel bag and took a quick shower. I came out wearing a black dress I felt the need to bring. It was like a tight corset top, and a flowing skirt that had a slit up til my hip. So every step I took my leg showed. I had on black leather boots that ended just under my knees. I dried my hair and let it loose. I took out a little pouch of make up that Lissa must have put it in my bag.
I put on some smokey eye shadow, mascara, blood red lip stick and a light blush. I had my sword on my back, my bag on my shoulder. When I walked back into the room no one was there, she was really scared of me, I could have cried but my control slammed into place. I walked into the hall no one. I went to the meeting room, and saw Rhonda sitting at the head of the table. She guestured for me to join her, and a servant came in with a pot of tea.
"So you've brought back your sister," She said casually. I nodded.
"Yes, but she's terrified of me," I sighed quietly. She looked me in the eye, and nodded for me to continue. "I lost control of myself in front of her, and she doesn't understand how much I've changed. I already know she doesn't remember the past five years as a ghost, she only remembers the night she died and the day she woke up. I only wish I could explain what I've become, if only I knew myself. I love her, I do, but I'm dangerous, one wrong slip, just one can get someone seriously hurt." I looked down at my hands, imagining seeing blood covering them.
"You have become and animal, yes that is true, but you are in fact a protector. You are a lover, a fighter, and a protecter. You lose control when you fight, or are angered, typically when out at war, or a family member, or friend is in danger you lose yourelf. This protecter can go both ways, she can help you kill, or she can help you protect them. But the down side, sometime the wrong instinct can come out at the wrong time. You are the Dark Angel." She stated as if it was the most obvious thing. She poured me a cup of tea and I added sugar and milk and stirred.
"I want so badly to control it, but I can't, why not?" I asked, taking a sip from the tea.
"It's apart of who you are, there's no controling it, there's only locking her away, which will only make it much much worst. She will get out, and she will be out for blood." Rhonda warned.
"Darcy," I murmured, clenching my chest.
"Only he will be able to help you fight back," Rhonda said, standing up. I understood who she was talking about it, but I didn't want to admit it. I drank some more tea and was painfully aware of Rhonda watching me.
"Rhonda, it has been a very interesting visit, I would apprecitate it if my family wouldn't know I'm leaving. I need to go and collect my thoughts, get my head in order. At least it's not raining right now, If they ask you can you just tell them I'll meet them there." I said, quitely. I stood up and walked out the door. I wasn't paying attention, I could have been followed and I wouldn't have notice.
I stroked Moonshine's mane and she looked at me, she knew something was wrong. I smiled at her and mounted her, my bag wrapped around my waist. We started at a simple trot. I heard a small footsteps running toward me, I groaned.
"Rosie?" Isabell called, her voice quiet. I didn't look back, it killed me but I had to.
"Eya!(WHAT EVER THEY SAY....)" I shouted and Moonshine took off. The ride was pretty short. I ended up at the clearing that I had been not even a week ago.
"Moonshine, what's wrong with me?" I asked her. I just stroked her face and mane it calmed me I thought about everything Rhonda said. "Dark Angel" I didn't know what it meant, but I didn't want to know.
I looked down at the beach and smiled, it hadn't even rain here, it was always peaceful.
"Do you wanna come, Moonshine?" I asked, it actually looked like she nodded. I smiled and lead her down the beach, we walked my hand in her mane the majority of the time. When we got back to the cliff I had made my choice. Isabell needed someone stable in her life, someone who will love her and comfort her. Someone she won't have to worry about him running of to parties, or to be alone, and most of all she wouldn't have to worry about him dying in the war. I wouldn't do that to her.
I heard someone step into the clearing and I turned, knowing who it was.
"You know, I'm truly sorry about the Lucas thing, protective instinct." I said. I smiled, it wasn't real, and I think he saw that, because he came up to me and rested his hand on my cheek.
"You don't have to pretend, I know what happened with your sister. It wasn't right, but," He said. Tears pooled in my eyes but I managed to blink them back. That's when I did something I never thought I'd do. I hugged him.
He stiffened for a moment before relaxing and wrapping his arms around my waist. His head in the crook of my neck and I smiled.
"Thank you," I whispered and he nodded before pulling away.
"Look we have a lot we need to talk. I want you to come to the palace, I'll have my best guards out. If you show this to them," He took off and handed me a gold chain, with the Belikov chrest on it. I pulled it over my head and let it fall, it just so happened to fall over my heart. "they should take you straight to me, unharmed." he said, never once taking his gaze away from mine. Something suddenly filled his gaze as his hand stroked my hair.
My heart skipped a beat and my breath hitched. I felt as if he were looking into my very soul. His hand went from my hair to my cheek stroking it softly as if I were fragil. White hot electricity burned my skin, and I felt my knees buckle but I quickly stiffened. He pulled back, looking shocked at his actions. I leaned up and with the help of the heels managed to kiss his cheek. There was a faint out line of my lips on his cheeks but he didn't seem to mind. Just as I was about to say something there was a rustling in nearby brush.
"Yo Dimitri! Where the hell are you!?!" Adrian's voice called. Dimitri frowned before turning towards the woods.
"I'm coming you jackass! Give me a minute!" He called back. He looked at me his face emotionless, but deep down I saw he didn't want to go back to the war, but we needed to do what we could to end it. Adrian came through the brush and stared at us, looking back and forth before looking at me seeming to realize who I was.
"I'll see what I can do about that," I said, a double meaning etched into my words. I mounted Moonshine, and looked him in the eye trying to tell him I didn't want to fight either he seemed to get it. Both my words and my silent message.
I nodded at Adrian and a small barely noticable smile at Dimitri. Moonshine took off into the woods and we headed home. We got home and I gave her more water and hay before going inside. Depression ozzed out and I immediatley started running to find my dad. He needed me now, more than anything. After about an hour of looking I heard the faint sound of the keys on a piano being played.
I bursted through the door and saw my dad broken playing that one note over and over.
"Daddy?" I was answered by a quite sob. He never, NEVER cried, I rushed to his side and cradled his head on my chest. He held me and cried occasionally whimpering for my mom. I just held him and rubbed his back, I had never seen him like this, not even when he lost his brother. When his sobs quited he looked at me, his eyes red and puffy.
"Daddy, guess what?" I wanted to see him lighten up, just a bit. "Isabell, she's back, I brought her back," he looked up at me, shocked. I nodded and another tear rolled down his cheek.
"My baby," he whispered. I smiled gently before helping him up and leading him to his room. I figured he would want a nap before the funeral. I would wake him in a few hours. I went to my room and put my stuff away, before changing. I would most likely put on a diferent dress when it was time. I changed clothes and took off the make up.
I went to the gym and saw it was empty I went and turned on a rock station before going over to the renewed punching bag. The first song that came on reminded me on myself in a way. Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace
(Slanted lyrics, Bold thoughts)
I can't escape this hell This hell I call a life
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside Ah Darcy, you really are trying to cage me in myself
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself That is sooo true
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me I'm really starting not to care anymore
No one will ever change this animal I have become No they can't change me
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal! This animal I want to tame, this animal that I don't want to believe is me, but in reality it is
This animal, this animal
I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied When will they end
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
Please someone help me I can't control myself
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me Why can't you see that
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself Somebody wake me from this nightmare I can't escape this hell I want to wake up and see it was all a dream
This animal, this animal
This animal, this animal
This animal, this animal
This animal
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal!
This animal I have become
It's true I've truly become an animal. I pulled a dummy out of the closet and put it in the middle of the gym. A few songs played and I fought to the beat. Am I really that much of a monster? (Song is Monster: Skillet)
The secret side of me,
I never let you see
I keep it caged
but I can't control it
So stay away from me,
the beast is ugly
I feel the rage
and I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls,
in the closet,
in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed,
in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come
and save me from this, make it end?
I feel it deep within,
it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become,
the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster
My secret side I keep hid under lock and key I keep it caged but I can't control it 'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin I must confess that I feel like a monster I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun I must confess that I feel like a monster
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin I must confess that I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster
It's hiding in the dark,
it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me,
it wants my soul,
it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream,
maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me,
stop this monster
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that
I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become,
the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I feel it deep within,
it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control,
he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
The song faded out and the music stopped all together. My breath was was labored, sweat poured from my face, and my legs buckled under me.
"Rose, you're not a monster," Lissa said as she walked up to me and pulled me to her.
"Liss, I scared her, she was trembling," I murmured, much to her confusion. I explained everything that had happened while at Rhonda's and Lissa just gasped.
"Now that's not right, wait a minute that guy you were dancing with was Dimitri Belikov?" Liss exclaimed. I nodded and took a long swing from my water.
We had gone into my room and I was taking a shower while we talked. When I came out she handed me a towel and I wrapped it around me and pulled on panties. Just before I pulled on a corest Lissa pointed out the scar on my hip.
"When did you get that one?" She asked, glancing at me.
"Last time I went out," I said before I pulled it on and braced myself aganist the mirror and Lissa adjusted the strings which made me wince slightly.
"When's the next time you're going out?" Lissa asked before tuggung one of the strings.
"Some time this week, what's today Sunday?" I asked and she nodded.
"Then I believe that it will be on Thursday. Oh hey I heard there's a party tomorrow night we going?" I looked at her to see her smiling widely. She knew I often dragged her to parties after someone died, before I go out, or just for the hell of it.
"Hell yea," she said letting me put on my dress. There was a knock on the door and Lissa opened to reveal a sympathic and angry Alberta.
"What is wrong with you!?! You just run off, and Rhonda says you'll meet us here!" She exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, I needed to think," I said simply putting on the dress (Pic on my profile) and grabbed a black showl and wrapped it around my shoulders. Lissa excused herself to get dressed and Alberta didn't see the point in arguing so she left. I quickly put on some make up, dark gray to black smokey look, some crimson lipstick, red blush, silver eye liner and mascara. I walked out and into the dads room thankfully not running into Christian or Isabell.
Dad was sitting on the edge of the bed dressed in all black. He looked at me his face withdrawn and cold. I walked next to him and rested my hand on his and he looked at me. We left his room and outside under the family tree. We were standing together the cold breeze gusting past us. Dad put an arm around me and I heard footsteps coming I hugged dad for a minute more before guesturing over to Isabell and Christian who were on the other side of the tree.
He looked at me and I nodded and nudged him over to them. He walked up to Isabell and she leapt into his arms, I smiled as Christian put and arm around Lissa. She looked at me worry evident in her eyes, I just smiled and turned to see them bringing my mothers casket. I stayed and watch Isabell cry into dad's chest as he tried to be strong. Christian and Lissa shed a few tears but I shed not a tear.
I realized my mother was dead and being buried but I needed to be strong. I looked over the hill and saw the town and I gazed on fondly, this was my land and I would be queen. When I looked back I realized I was alone and the casket buried. I knelt down next to my mother's final resting place, and a tear slipped down my cheek. I quickly whipped it away and stood up.
"I love you mom, and I am so sorry I never said it alot. But I really do that will never change. I will fight for our kingdom, and everything you stand for." I whispered before walking down the hill. All I wanted to do now was go change and relax for tomorrow. Little did I know that wasn't what was someone else had in mind for me.
"You need to control yourself better," Christian said from my bed. I groaned why did the world hate me so?
