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Chapter 12: Control
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Monroe asked a few days later in his living room.
He was finally going to show me how to control my ability. And about freaking time, I mean sure I'd needed time to recover but three days was a little extensive, don't you think? Either way I was going to learn and Monroe would be my tutor.
I nodded "Yes I'm sure. I need to learn how to do this." I would do anything if it meant I could keep my family together. If that included diving into the dangerous depths of my mind, then so be it!
Monroe leaned forward on his chair toward me where I was sitting on the couch. He looked me in the eye and explained "You need to be relaxed for this to work Chantelle; I need you to lie down and close your eyes."
I swung my legs onto the couch, stretching myself out on its length. I closed my eyes and waited for my next instructions. My mind began to float away though before I could hear them. I let it go, knowing that I needed to get in my dream state to be able to do anything.
My brain took me to the place where the scene took place. I could feel my blood pumping as I rushed through the forest. Hunted, like an animal. The trees looked real and the breeze that whipped across my face was even more so. I didn't think, all I could think about was running; getting away from my pursuers. I felt as if there was something I needed to remember... But I couldn't think of it. My brain was too caught up in the chase.
The brush underneath my feet tangled around them and made me trip. I caught myself just in time but the trip had made me slow down and now I could hear the footsteps catching up to me. I pushed myself to run faster but it was pointless. I was exhausted, there was no more urgency left inside of me.
Still, there was something that was telling me I had to. There was a different voice whispering in the back of my mind. It told me that I had to change my fate, there was a way and I had to listen closely to do it. Yielding to it, I did as I was told.
Stop running. It commanded. Thinking it was crazy I did as I was told. Turn around and face the Löwen, you can do this Chantelle.Still thinking I was out of my mind for doing this, I turned around and looked the lion beast in the eye. It slowed a little as I stopped and walked toward me; licking its lips with pleasure. I shuddered as I stared at it. It stalked toward me and I stared at it in fear. No, no I had to keep running! I could stand here and let that beast get me! I needed to escape! Why couldn't I just run?
Keep your head Chantelle! This is for the greater good here! The voice returned in my head. You need to beat the Löwen. Not physically really, just... Well use your imagination.
I rolled my eyes a little, as helpful as the voice was it was equal parts unhelpful! I had to defeat the Löwen uh? With my imagination uh? Right okay. Still, I felt the urgent tone in the voice's voice and knew I had to do this. If I failed bad things would happen. We couldn't have that.
Focusing on the creature in front of me, I willed it to stop. To disobey whatever orders it was following. I willed it to change the fate of this nightmare. I could see something starting to take effect in his eyes. The creature shook its massive head, as if he had a headache. Eventually, after more prodding from me, it turned around and ran off.
When it was a good distance away, I heard the squeals of something dying. Or more than one something. It squealed, hissed among other distress calls.
I covered my ears and fell to the ground exhausted.
My eyes opened slowly and I blinked the sleep out of my eyes. I wasn't sure what had just happened, but I knew I had accomplished a great task. Looking over at Monroe, I saw his face was a mask of worry. He didn't know I'd succeeded!
"I think I did it." I whispered.
"What?"
"I did it." I repeated, a little louder "I changed the Löwen's mind!" I stood up and threw myself into his arms "I did it Monroe! My dad is going to live!"
Monroe held me awkwardly and when I pulled back I jumped away and danced around his living room. He watched me with obvious amusement in his eyes. "So what did you do?"
I stopped dancing and looked at him "I made the Löwen turn around and attack the people who made him go after my father. When the Löwen comes for Dad, the Skalengeck are going to be in for a nasty surprise. I just need to make sure Dad does exactly what I did. Otherwise I don't know if it will work." I paused, a thought sneaking into my mind "Actually, I am going to be there when the Löwen comes for him."
Monroe stood up to protest, but I raised a hand "He won't even know I'm there! No one will, but you. And you're not going to tell anyone Monroe! I need to be there, to make sure nothing happens to him! This is my responsibility now; I have to see it out to the end."
He rubbed the back of his neck "Your dad won't be happy about this."
"Like I said he isn't going to find out." I raised my eyebrow at him "Right Monroe?"
He shifted looking uncomfortable, but eventually he looked up at me and nodded "Right. Nick won't know a single aspect of the stupid crusade you are setting out on."
"Wow, way to make it sound all dramatic!" I said with a forced laugh.
"I don't have to. You do that on your own."
I met up with Pippa the next day and told her the exciting news.
She sat there staring at me wide eyed the whole time. I explained to her my plans about being with my dad in secret during this event and she rolled her eyes at me.
"You're always making sure you get into trouble! Why do you have to be so dangerous Chantelle?" She asked with much concern in her voice.
I shrugged "Why not? It makes for a more interesting life."
"And a more chance of dying." She pointed out.
My laugh was once again forced "Look at you glass half empty."
Pippa looked up at me with a serious expression. "Chantelle, I'm not kidding around here. You walk a very fine line and one day you are going to get burned! You're my best friend and I don't want anything to happen to you! Please tell me you'll reconsider this suicidal plan of yours!"
I placed a hand on her shoulder "Look Pip, I can't give it up. I already told Monroe that I had to see this through and I intend to do so. Please don't try and stop me. You're my best friend to you know, I would never do anything that would put our friendship in jeopardy." I paused and gave a small grin "Besides, let's both face it. This plan is way tamer than some of the other ones I've put in motion!"
She grumbled about how I was being reckless and stupid but didn't say anything more on the subject. I watched her with a smile on my face, but deep inside I was worried. There were too many parts of my plan that could go wrong! Someone could see me; not being able to stop it if the tweaks I'd made to the vision didn't hold.
So much.
Yet I was still hell bent on doing it.
Pippa took a sip of her latte and looked over at me again; her red curls were bouncing from the sudden head movement. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, of course."
"What was it like? Being in the vision, being a Träumer."
I had to think for a minute. I had never really considered the answer to that question. The truth was that being what I was had always just been a part of me. It had always been there I just hadn't known how to use it. Thinking about what I could have done back then though... If I'd known how to control it, maybe I could have saved all those lives! I could have given so many more people a happy ending.
"It sucks." I finally stated.
She blinked in surprise, that wasn't the answer she'd been expecting. Slowly she ducked her head and replied with "Oh, I see... And why does it suck exactly?"
"Think about this for a second; I get to see millions die and thought I was useless to save them. I just sat and watched as time and time again someone was decapitated, stabbed in the gut, hell there were even a few burnings and rapes. It was awful Pippa and there wasn't shit I could do about it." I paused trying to catch my breath "And now I learn that I could have saved them! I can control the visions and make people do what I want. Knowing that now... I wish I could go back in time and help all those poor souls."
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and I didn't bother trying to wipe them away. I was ready to show my weak side for once. I needed to show someone it. Not that I'd always been strong in front of my best friend. She'd seen me cry more than my own parents had!
She scotched closer to me with her chair, blocking my face from the rest of the coffee shop where we sat. Pippa reached her arm across my shoulders and pulled close against her, "There is no way you could have saved them Shane. You were too young then anyway to think of a way to help them."
I knew she was right, of course she was. Pippa was one of the smartest and most logical people I knew. The girl always had a way of making me feel better, no matter what the case.
But if she was right... Why did I still feel like I should have done something?
