Previously…
"What happened?"
"He fell for her and she for him. He was always the troublemaker, cracking jokes and causing Esme never ending stress. He was worse than Emmett is. I guess they started having trouble when he decided he could not live this way. She tried to keep it together but it hurt her that he would choose to leave rather than stay for her. He knew she wouldn't leave so he never asked her. I don't think either of them ever got over it. She has moved on but he will always be a reminder that she wasn't good enough, even though she was. In reality he was not good enough for her. "
"That's so sad."
Hearing a knock on the door he looked up, "Come in." Rosalie leaned in, "Edward can I…" He moved from behind Bella and held his arms open as she ran into them. "Shhh it's ok. I'm here." He sighed, "Damn him."
He led her to the couch sitting beside her as she lay on his chest. If she could have cried his shirt would have been soaked. Bella felt terrible, she didn't know Rosalie that well, she had not taken to her and so Bella stayed away. Seeing her like this was the worst, no one should hurt like this. She decided to leave them alone, she probably needed to talk and she was in the way. Bella stood, "Edward I'll be downstairs."
Rosalie lifted her head, "No Bella, it's ok I can go I shouldn't be interrupting you and Edward." Bella smiled, "You stay I was hungry anyway. You two talk."
Rosalie curled up against Edward never seeing him mouth thank you to Bella as she left. He gently rubbed her back, "Where is Emmett?"
"Outside I think I upset him. I tried not to let it show but he knows me too well and wanted to know why I was so upset. I know he already knew, it was in his eyes." He sighed, "Rosalie you can't let Jarred get to you this way. I know we all hold onto things a lot longer than we should. I know he hurt you terribly but you are much stronger than this. He doesn't deserve your pain. You are too good for him." When she didn't respond he lifted her face in his left hand, "Hey, listen to me. You are better than this. I love you Rosalie and I don't want to see you hurt this way. Jarred made a mistake, now he's paying for it. You should not have to suffer anymore. Emmett loves you and you love him."
"I know but seeing him still hurts, I wonder what if he had chosen to stay. Of course I love Emmett but Jarred was my first love. Like you and Bella but you will have the happy ending." He nodded, "Not necessarily, How can it be? I can either let her go, watch her grow old and die or give her the curse of being like me. How do I win? I don't want to change her. I can't stand the thought of her struggling to live this life."
"I didn't even think of that."
"When any of it happens I will need you. I don't know how I will cope with any of it given my options." He sighed, "Things with you and Jarred are painful but at least you know he is there. Hate him as you will but deep down he is safe and you know he always will be. I don't have that so please, don't let this get to you. He's not worth it. I am always here for you but keep in mind I expect the same missy." She smiled sadly, "I suppose I can do that. After all you've always been here for me. I am closer to you than anyone, well except for Emmett."
"I know Rosie." She rested her head on his shoulder, "Can I stay a while?" He held her closer, "As long as you need sweetheart. What are big brothers for?"
Downstairs Bella noticed the house was completely silent. She knew they had to be somewhere, but who knew where, they were always so quiet. They could possibly be hunting. She did not linger on the thought deciding she needed fresh air, Edward may be busy a while. It was then she saw Emmet sitting out back. She wasn't sure if she should talk to him or if he wanted to be alone. Slipping out the door she watched him trying to decide her course of action. He didn't turn but he spoke, "Hey Bella, come sit with me."
Her body moved slowly and sat next to him. "Is Rosie ok?" She turned to be able to see his face. He was distraught which she knew he would be and his eyes were full of sadness.
"She is as well as can be expected I suppose. She's with Edward." He nodded. "Have you ever been hurt really bad?"
"I haven't dated much, well… at all until Edward. But, I can only imagine if he left me." He sighed shaking his head, "I love her. It took a long time before she trusted me, even longer to get her to realize she loved me. I am the class clown and she is the prom queen. We were not meant to be and yet we fit so perfect. I have known for a long time he hurt her, but I have never met him. I won't crowd her. I know she needs time to heal. I guess it's like opening a wound up again."
"She'll be ok, you of all people know that. She loves you. I mean I don't know her well but that much I can see."
"I know, but I do wonder sometimes if she had a choice to be with him would she have picked me."
"Yes."
"How can you be so certain?"
"Because, she already did." He looked at her and smiled, "Yeah I guess she did. She could have left and gone to him at any time but she didn't. Even if she did I would never be able to convince myself not to care. We are the real thing, obstacles and all."
"That is a wonderful thing to be sure of. I bet when she gets over the initial shock of this she'll be just fine. I think he just caught her by surprise."
"It will always be in the back of her head though, the pain he caused her."
"She has you and her family right?" She asked slightly elbowing him. He smirked, "Always." She giggled, "Then I would say she is covered. You should get some rest." He looked so sad even though he was trying to appear nonchalant.
"I think I'll go for a run to relax. Thanks for the talk Bella." He was up and away before her eyes could register he was gone. She leaned back looking at the moon. Who would have thought she would have met such a wonderful family, a family she felt close too even though she barely knew them. They were vampires yes but they all had the same problems most human's do. It was interesting actually.
Edward has shown her a world she would have never imagined existed and she embraced it fully. They had shown her endless generosity. Edward accepted her as she was, a human and even with his physical state he endured the pain of thirst to be with her. How could she not love this man? Vampire? Then she came to the conclusion she didn't know what to classify him as. She felt her hair blow slightly and turned to find Edward next to her. "Rosie is resting."
"Is she ok? I spoke with Emmett a little, he went for a run." He kissed her temple moving closer to slip his arm around her, "She will be fine. Just a little shaken up, she hasn't forgotten the pain and it will always remain inside her heart. I explained it is ok to have weak moments. We can't be the rock all of the time."
"Would you ever do that to me?"
"Do what sweetheart?"
"Leave me like that."
He sighed, "If it were in your best interest but, I don't know if at this point if I would be strong enough. In truth you could never hurt me like I would hurt myself if I tried to be apart from you. I look inside you and I see so much of myself, even things I never knew. It makes me want to see more, learn more." His hand drifted up to caress her face, "You look so beautiful bathed in the moonlight."
"What about the future? I mean I know about now but…" He shook his head, "Why are we talking about this?"
"Don't you see me in your future?"
"You know how deep my feelings run, of course I see you in my future." She felt him take her hand in his and kiss it lightly. "I would be lost without you. I don't know where that leaves us in the scheme of things." Watching him play with her fingers she noticed he was avoiding her eyes. "You will always be young." She whispered.
"Yes."
"I won't I will grow old."
"Yes."
"Is that what you want?" She asked feeling him tense. "No, I don't want to ever be without you but what price do I pay to keep you in my life? What price do you pay? This is not a fairy tale. You have only seen what I have allowed you. This is the tame side of us. You haven't seen us hunt or fight. Trust me when I say movies have nothing on the gory details."
"You could show me."
"NO! Absolutely and unequivocally NO!"
"You don't have to yell. It was just a statement." She stated crossing her arms. She could hear him moan softly, "Bella, I cherish you so much. My heart is an open book when it comes to you, you can read me like no other. You made me want to play again, and every song I play is for you. My heart calls to you and I can't deny the pull. I know you can't understand the life I lead, not the vampire part. All you see is this beautiful shell of a person I used to be. Inside I am still a cold- blooded killer. I don't want to be, but I fight with that part of me daily. I don't want you to have to be like this."
She turned meeting his sorrow filled eyes. "I understand Edward even if it seems like I don't. I guess I just don't want to ever lose you. I would take any curse to be with you forever." His eyes closed as he pulled her between his legs to hold her close, "Please don't say that. I may not sleep but I still close my eyes and your face haunts me. In my mind I try to leave so you would be safe but I see something that reminds me of you and it hurts. I can't explain the excruciating pain I feel. I am scared, what will happen in the future when I fall more in love with you then I am now. What will I do?"
"I guess we will have to wait and see." She spun around so she was facing him, his arms still held her close. The shadows of the night played across his features. Adonis that is what he was, there were no other words and still that one didn't do him justice. Her fingers drifted across his jaw. "My gorgeous cupid. Do you know I am scared to sleep?"
"Why?"
"I am afraid I will wake up and find this was all a dream. Realize that you are not real and this has all been one huge illusion. I know what we share is but a flash in time compared to the life you have lived. You have seen so much and I so little."
"None of it matters, all I have seen ceased to exist when I found you. There is nothing but you Bella. I once thought love was for fools but you ignite a fire inside me that I cannot extinguish. I don't want to be anywhere but with you, in my arms, in my heart."
"You have a way with words."
"I'm Cupid remember?"
She giggled then sighed, "Our love is the only guarantee in my simple life right now. I know with time it will blossom and grow. It's like a picture in my mind that is so clear. Does that sound crazy?"
"No, it sounds lovely."
"We sound like two lovesick fools."
"Aren't we?" He whispered nibbling at her earlobe. "I suppose we are. We are also hormonal." He had to laugh, she would always say the most unexpected things. "How did you come to that conclusion my love?"
"It's no secret really that we can't keep our hands off of each other. I just wonder what will happen when I go home. I will miss you, I don't know how I will sleep without you holding me."
"You won't have to, I'll be there holding you."
"What about my dad?"
"He'll be asleep." He tapped his head, "Internal radar remember?" She thought for a moment, "You know we are pushing the envelope."
"How so?"
"You don't want to take out relationship further yet we keep putting ourselves in places we shouldn't."
"Indeed we do, perhaps I should stay home then." Her eyes grew big, "No, no I want you there." He smiled lopsidedly. She continued, "I do want you there, I just meant….well it was a statement of fact."
"I know we will just have to control ourselves." Her lips moved closer to his, her breath warm on his skin. "One day we won't be able to stop Edward. We will lose control."
"I know." He commented looking down sadly.
"What will happen then?" His hands trailed up her back to hold her face in his hands searching her eyes. "I honestly don't know. Our attraction is so strong and the temptation…I just don't want to hurt you."
"I trust you."
"Your faith warms me but I do not know if I can live up to your expectations."
"For once trust in you, in us. If you want to try this, I mean us." She motioned between them. "You have to give in, allow yourself to feel. Allow trust in yourself, in me, in us. I am usually the one with all of the doubts but this time I don't have any." She lifted his chin to see his eyes. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want us."
"You know I do."
"It can't be part way Edward. It has to be all the way. I need that from you. You always ask what I am thinking and now you know." He watched her expressions. He never thought she would be this open with him. It made him elated and scared at the same time. There were no doubts of her trust but could he really trust himself with her life at stake? He would have to chance it. His heart wouldn't let him walk away now, not that he ever really wanted to. This was how it would be, she would be his greatest temptation and he would eventually end up hurt, there was no way around it. It didn't matter, what mattered is here and now. He would deal with the future when it came.
