Chapter Twelve

Who hears music
Feels his solitude peopled at once.

. . .

«I never thought I'd say this to a mortal, but I'm impressed, young one» Vorador said in his deep baritone voice. «It is not everyday that I meet a human with at least a little brain in their heads.»
The young woman in front of him smiled, a faint little smile that gave away she was lost in thought. She was beautiful, that much Vorador would admit, but she was not the striking creature he'd expected when he'd first heard his Sire had taken her to his Aerie. He preferred more generous curves, fairer hair, and though he liked a little fight in a woman, she was way too wary for his tastes. It could be because she was unarmed and surrounded by vampires, but he had the feeling she would have looked like that even if seated at a banquet at her dead father's court. As for the man himself, she hadn't talked much about him and the few things she had said had been laced with bitterness. Vorador was beginning to think that the word 'kidnapping' didn't describe what his Sire had done at all.
«This is your doing then, I suppose» the green-skinned vampire continued, producing a carefully folded letter from the pocket on his breast and handing it to her. «Along with the freeing of my children.»
Nerissa nodded slowly, taking it from his large hand as her eyes flashed with sorrow. Though it was true she wasn't the fairest he'd seen, he had to admit her scent was intoxicating, and he once more marvelled at his father's self control.
«Do you know whether they are planning new executions in Uschtenheim?» she asked after a small pause, and he suddenly felt her grief crawling on his own skin.
«I am sorry, child. They have taken many of your own» he said in lieu of an answer, and Nerissa closed her eyes, her body giving a shudder before stilling once more. As Janos placed a hand supportively on her shoulder and squeezed gently, Vorador observed carefully as she raised her head, looked at him -the naturalness of her gesture, her even breathing, the lack of the acrid smell of fear in her scent of summer wind.
«As surprising as it is, I find myself owing you, child» he said seriously. «I would have lost two young children if it weren't for you and your men.»
Nerissa's expression darkened. «You owe me nothing. The Sarafan are nothing but murderers and torturers, and those fledges were their playthings and victims. Our council was born to fight just this. Even if found guilty of untold atrocities, they wouldn't have deserved such a treatment.»
«There are few humans who would agree with you.»
She nodded with a bitter smile, a smile that reflected more hurt than what she probably would have liked. «I know. But you must understand, my lord, that most of the people you're talking about are illiterate, have never seen a vampire outside of the depictions in their churches and mindlessly believe everything Moebius and the Sarafan tell them. Forgive my race, for their hatred is born of ignorance.»
Vorador made an horrified expression. «You sound like my father. Please spare me, one pacifist vampire is more than enough».
Nerissa laughed lowly as Janos facepalmed.
«Instead of riling us with this nonsense, tell me, have they appointed the city's new governor?» the ancient vampire asked, and Vorador's expression became one of pure distaste.
«They did» he spat. «One Skeilihr by name, and if you'll allow me, a slimy little as-»
«Language, my son» came the light reprimand, and the other vampire sighed in resigned irritation, rolling his eyes.
«He's the one who spread the rumors of Reinheit's death, and of her abducting. I've always marvelled at the... tolerance... the humans in Uschtenheim showed towards you, father, but it seems that that ship has sailed with her apparent kidnapping.»
«What the- those bloody- no! They're all fools!» Nerissa snapped, throwing her arms skywards as she got up in one brusque motion. Vorador saw the muscles in her arms swell delicately beneath the white tunic she wore and raised an eyebrow at her. «They know nothing of what has happened!»
«Just like you said, they are a mass of ignorant peasants» Vorador said calmly. «They'll never see a vampire as the saviour of the princess, young one.»
Nerissa looked at him in silence for a long moment. Then she sighed, resting a hand on her forehead.
«You're right. I... I should have known. It's just so stupid
She turned towards Janos with a pained expression. «I'm sorry. I really am. I never meant to set them off against you».
Janos shook his head, getting up in turn, as if afraid that she'd leave and somehow hoping he would be able to stop her before she did. «Child, it was only a matter of time. I would have never left you to die in that man's clutches just to buy myself a couple years more.»
Vorador heard the fondness in his Sire's voice and saw it showing on his face, as well as the affection her regret expressed. Having experienced it himself many times, he recognized the signs of the attraction between them. He still found it amusing, though, that as ancient as his Sire was, he still acted like a fledgling in love for the first time around her.
«Maybe you are right, but that doesn't console me. I have brought only disgraces to you» she whispered, taking a step back, and for the first time since he'd arrived, Vorador saw fear flickering in her eyes. But not fear of them.
You aren't yet acquainted with the monsters that live in your head, child.
«No, my Nerissa» Janos murmured, taking a step forward. «Please, believe me when I say you haven't brought anything of the sort.»
She looked at him in the eyes, and Vorador saw her understanding something without words being said, nor mentally, nor phisically. He suddenly was struck with an absurd thought, about how they seemed two instruments made to play together -how each seemed to know the notes the other wanted to play.
«I...»
But she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, he felt her send a flow of mixed emotions
(regretsorrowgratitude)
to his Sire through their extraordinary mental link, and he wondered if she would be able to communicate so with him, too.
«Do you think you'd be able to Whisper with me, too, child?» he asked with a smirk.
She gave him a wary look while Janos sent him a warning one. He would not tolerate any aggressive move towards the woman, that much Vorador had understood -not that he wanted to attack her. Not when she provided such... exotic company.
«I... I don't know» she answered cautiously. «And frankly, I do not know if I want to, either. No offense, but you're kind of damn scary.»
Vorador laughed. «I thought you weren't afraid of me» he commented with a grin that showed off his fangs -and damn, they were long.
«That doesn't stop me from knowing who you are, and be wary because of that» she quipped back. «I may not show it often, but I have quite a great dose of will to live, thank you.»
«I would not hurt you, childe, of that you can be sure» Vorador said as she took a seat once more. «I can clearly see that my Sire would get quite... irritated at me if I did.»
Janos let a smile work its way to his face as Nerissa chuckled, before her eyes lit up with sudden mischief.
«It is not that I'm afraid of being hurt» she clarified. «It's just that I don't particularly want you to know what I think about your ears
«Oh? And what would that be?» he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Nerissa pretended to be considering for a moment, then shook her head.
«No. Not going to tell you. You'd strangle me» she decided. «But seriously, I'm not very comfortable with the idea. I'm still trying to get used to it».
Vorador nodded in understanding. He'd found it difficult at first to adjust to the thing, too, but he'd also often found himself comparing the growing ability to Whisper to the ability to walk of a young child: one step at a time, one learnt how to run.
«You will learn» Janos said. «You'll find out it can be extremely useful.»
«I have no doubt about that, but it's difficult to separate my private thoughts from the ones I actually want to communicate» she mused. «I guess it just needs time».
«That it does. You could practice with my Sire in the meantime, I'm sure he wouldn't mind... I could give you a couple hints as for what to tell him to make him topple to the ground while flying» Vorador snickered, and Nerissa gave him a fake scandalized expression.
«And your brides find you gallant?» she asked skeptically, and Vorador actually had to stop at that for a moment: how many years had passed since he'd heard someone's tone get playful when talking to him? His brides and children were always so reverent; his father hadn't talked to him at all in years -even if that was mainly my fault, he thought. I'm sure that he will now be even more convinced of his opinions, now that he's find a human who actually sings out of the chorus.
And again, those metaphors and comparisons with music. The story of how they'd met still surprised him and he found himself growing curious as to what melody had enchanted Janos so.
«You mentioned you can use the bow. Do you know how to fight with any other weapons?» he asked, changing subject.
She shrugged. «Just my fists.»
He gave her a half smirk. «While I do not underestimate their worth in hand combat, I'm afraid they are not enough. You'll need to learn to use other weapons.»
She raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. «Yes? And who'd teach me? You?»
Vorador grinned. «I'm sure you'd be a nice match, young one. If you aren't afraid of fighting me.»
Janos, who had raised an eyebrow at the beginning of their conversation, spread his wings a little, looking at Nerissa with fondness... and a tiny bit of relief. At what, Vorador didn't know, even if he had a very strong suspicion.
«That would be a good thing to do, my dear. One can never know when you'll need your fighting skills next.»
Vorador raised an eyebrow. «Really, Sire? I thought you'd be against it.»
He had an idea as to why Janos would want her to know how to fight, but he refrained from saying it out loud. It would just make the three of them feel uncomfortable, and he did not wish that. Not now, at least.
Janos sighed. «As I said, one never knows. They may be useful in the future.»
Nerissa smiled faintly, the kind of smile that hid whether one was aware or not of the meaning behind one's words. Vorador understood then why his father had taken a liking to her -she was observant, perspicacious, and had that peculiar quality that was the expressiveness of her smile and eyes. He saw clearly the fascination one such as Janos could have for her.
«I would be honored to be your student, lord Vorador» Nerissa said, a smile flashing briefly on her lips, her pearly white teeth showing behind them. «Seems that my curiosity about swords and such will be at last satisfied».
«I can see why all those men refused to marry you» was Vorador's comment, and they all laughed.
They kept talking a while more, but eventually Vorador had to leave -his mansion and children called for him, not to mention his brides, who had promised him a good time when he came back.
He bid both his Sire and Nerissa goodbye as he walked to the study' balcony, his regal clothes fluttering in the wind.
«I'm sure I'm leaving you in good hands» he said offhandedly, seemingly to no one in particular, his green magic beginning to envelop him.
«Did you doubt me?» Janos asked, tone mildly amused.
Vorador smiled then, a soft smile that was as rare for him as it was sincere: a smile with no fangs, no hidden malice or intent.
«I wasn't talking about her, Janos.»
And having said that, he vanished into thin air.

. . .

«He doesn't seem so bad» Nerissa commented as the last traces of Vorador's magic vanished in the wind.
«He's not. He can be quite the good company when he's in a good mood. Nerissa...»
She turned at him, eyebrow arched in silent questioning.
«I... heard how you talked to him. Heard the playfulness, and saw the way you behaved around him. I must thank you, my dear. I think the company of a human that can actually talk to him without making foul comments on his appearance, or draw swords at his sight, could do him a world of good.»
Nerissa bit her lip, uncertain. «I suppose we could try» she mumbled. «I for one wouldn't be displeased to spend a little time with him.»
Janos felt a pang of jealousy at that, but didn't allow it to show on his face. It was a powerful feeling, one he'd read about a million times, and yet had never truly felt himself. There had been only two other women before Nerissa, and though he had cared for them deeply, neither had ever made him feel really jealous. Maybe it was because he'd been younger then, maybe for some other reason, but he was positive he'd never felt jealous before Nerissa.
«Janos?»
Her voice brought him back to reality and he raised his gaze.
«Forgive me, I spaced out. Yes?»
«Dispel a doubt of mine?»
Janos smiled, silently urging her to continue. She bit her lip, fiddling with her hair.
«You... do not seem one who relishes in blood and fights.»
«Indeed, I do not, dear. But that doesn't mean I do not fight when it is needed.»
«No, I didn't mean that... I was just wondering...»
She sighed, running a hand in her hair, eyes flickering with sadness, and Janos tilted his head, taking a step back to better look at her.
«Nerissa?»
«I would never fight you» she whispered. «I would never... never. I cannot.»
Janos stilled at that. He looked her over -the way her emerald gaze spoke more than a thousand words, her hair fallen on one side of her face. He recalled that smile, the smile that had hidden her thoughts from everyone.
«I didn't approve of Vorador's idea just because of that» he said lowly.
«Janos... if I am even still alive, it is because of you. I was unconscious, maybe barely alive, and bleeding -no one would have said a thing if you'd bitten me then. You would probably just have done me a favour in killing me.» She took a deep breath. «But you didn't. You saved me. I... I think that if I didn't need to defend myself from you then, I won't have to, ever. And if I have... my blood would be just barely enough to thank you for what you did for me.»
Janos shook his head, walking to her to take her delicate hands in his. That contact, as small as it was, felt deeper than it had before, for some reason nor human nor vampire could name.
«Do not say things like that again» he whispered. «I don't want to see you bleeding. Never. Never».
Nerissa flinched at those words, and though Janos looked at her in silent questioning, she gently pried her hands away.
What's wrong, child?, he asked, smelling the acrid stench of fear rising in her natural scent.
-Nothing... nothing. I... forgive me, but I'm tired.
Her words were calm, but echoed with uneasiness. Janos slowly took a step back to give her more room.
Do you wish for me to accompany you back in your rooms?
-You're very kind, Janos, but no. I can find them myself, thank you.

Nerissa retreated hastily, keeping control until she was out of his sight... and then Janos' ears informed him she'd begun running.

. . .

The doors of her chambers closed behind her and Nerissa pressed her hands against her forehead.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. I'm so damn stupid!
The truth was that she couldn't even really explain why she' fled like that, in such a sudden and rushed manner. His words had been, as usual, very kind, soft and gentle, and she had responded wih utter rudeness.
I must apologize. He doesn't deserve such a treatment.
But the thought of going back was scary. No, not scary. It was absolutely terrifying, and she didn't even know why.
I don't want to see you bleeding. Never.
She closed her eyes, his words
(protect you forever)
(as long as I breathe)
(you'll never bleed when I'm near)

awakening painful memories.
Nerissa turned towards the closed doors. Through their peculiar mental link, she could feel his confusion... and his hurt.
That last emotion was the one that pushed the doors open once more, that made her walk down the corridor to his study again. A burning need to ease his suffering.
When she tentatively pushed the doors open, her teeth had found her lower lip again. Janos raised his gaze from the book he'd taken, surprise brightening his eyes.
«I'm sorry» she said in a rush. «I didn't mean to snap at you. I shouldn't have run off like that. I'm sorry.» Feeling she owed him an explanation, Nerissa took a deep breath before continuing. Her voice grew stronger and steadier as she went on. «Those words reminded me of a time when I was a little girl. I had climbed a tree in the garden, trying to pluck one of the apples I'd seen there, but I lost my balance and fell. I scraped my knees and when Abraham arrived, he took me in his arms and kissed those wounds, telling me not to cry... that he would always protect me, and that I would never bleed again as long as he breathed. And I trusted him.»
And that trust was broken mere months after that episode.
«That is why I got upset when you told me you didn't want to see me bleed. I... I'm scared. I'm scared that I will trust you, just like I trusted him, and will end up broken again.» She shut her eyes tightly. «But the truth is that you could hurt me a thousand times more than Abraham,
(because you could break my heart in two, but she didn't speak those words aloud)
and I'm only human, Janos, and I'm scared of pain. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to be so rude.»
Her eyes snapped open when she felt his wings draw her close and his warm arms come around her. Warmth flooded her chest and she tentatively placed her hands on his chest, feeling his muscles through the tunic he was wearing, lean and marmoreal beneath her palms.
«Hush, childe. I'm glad you trusted me enough with these words. But now please, remain here for a while longer. Keep me company» came his whisper, gentle and loving and caring, and Nerissa found herself clinging on his tunic.
The worst time of the day is when I find myself alone. It is then that horrible thoughts come to torment me. So, if you believe I came here to keep you company, you're wrong. I came searching for company.
She lifted her head, looking at him from beneath long dark lashes. «Unless you wish for me to leave» she murmured, knowing that he couldn't have possibly heard her thoughts, but speaking as if he had.
«No, little one. You are welcome here anytime you want» he said, as if he'd actually heard
(no please no that would be too much what kind of person am I)
,gently letting her go. Nerissa looked at him for a long moment, then, curiously, moved her gaze to the hundreds of tomes neatly put away on the shelves.
«Is this how you spend lonely hours?» she asked, gently raising a hand towards an ancient, leather-covered black book. Her fingers stopped just short of touching it, though, as if it could burn her if she actually did.
«It is easy to lose oneself in these ancient runes» the vampire answered with a small smile. «They provide good company when I'm alone. Do you have any interest in literature?»
She went very still at those words. Janos raised an elegant eyebrow and spread his wings a little as she drew her arms up and crossed them over her chest.
«It is not a matter of interest» she whispered. «It is a flaw, Janos, an impending flaw that has kept me from getting a closer look.»
«Why do you speak of yourself so?»
What flaw could there be within you, my songbird?
She laughed bitterly. «I am a woman, Janos, worth less than a horse's mane and good at nothing but sew and embroider» she said, her hands gripping her own arms tightly. «I can't read.»
Oh.
Janos was not familiar with favoritism towards a gender in spite of the other. His people used to teach how to read and write to both males and females, just as they taught the art of combat to both. He knew, though, that humans considered it normal. He'd actually just assumed she knew how to; after all, she was no ignorant peasant.
«They never taught me» she continued, very lowly, as if in response to his thoughts. «But I've always wanted to...»
She felt his warm presence behind her, the rustle of his clothes, the soft whisper of his feathers as his feathers as he drew close. His voice came from above her, a low, sweet murmur that made her want to melt in his strong arms, the same arms she felt so close to her.
«Would you like to learn?»
Nerissa looked up at him, eyes shining like a sky full of stars and lips slightly parted in surprise. Her black curls framed her pale face, her brows quirked upwards in shock, and he suddenly felt the urge to kiss them.
«You... would teach me?» she whispered.
It was but a small thing, really, to teach her how to read, but Janos actually felt delighted he could. It had been so long since he'd tended to another so, with such personal concern.
«If you'd have me» he answered sweetly, gently brushing a lock from her face.
Her white hand rose and took his light-blue one, again brushing against his fingers, his claws, the dip of his wrist.
«I don't think you know just how much it means to me» she whispered. «Janos...»
You are so close, my beautiful dark angel...
She didn't know if it was love. She no longer remembered how love was supposed to feel like. But she knew she wanted him in her arms, wanted him to be happy, for him to be hers and for herself to be his at the same time. And she couldn't believe that those feelings were simply thirst for companionship, just to ease the terrible solitude she'd lived in all her life. But to go on meant to put her life into his hands, just as soon as she'd escaped her father's. She would have given up her freedom, that same freedom she'd struggled so hard to gain.
«You know that if you were my mate, I wouldn't ask you to change a thing of yourself» he murmured.
«Being your mate would change my life».
«I suppose so» he sighed, but his voice didn't carry the heavy burden of defeat.
Hope...
Nerissa glanced outside. It was late afternoon, the sky heavy with clouds. Soon it would have started to rain.
«How would you feel if I left you? If one day I gave myself to you, and the next I went away, without promising to return?»
«Nerissa, I'd be insane to think to cage you.»
«You didn't tell me how you'd feel if you were to forever be at my fussing's mercy.»
«It's not fussing, it's what your heart wants. You forget no one can understand you as I do, Nerissa, not with our mental connection. If you ever went away forever, I'd know it wasn't for lack of love, but if that were the case I'd know that too, and then I'd think it right for you to leave.»
«You keep on not answering me.»
There was a moment of silence. «I don't really know, child. I think I'd feel many things, not just sadness. But I'm not afraid of risking to be unhappy.»
Janos was willing to risk to be unhappy: the problem lay just there. Nerissa had no idea of what could have happened, and to go on meant to risk to be unhappy.
Outside, a dark cloud covered the sun as the first drops of rain fell, plunging the room in the shadows. Nerissa shivered, because each time she found herself in the dark, deep inside she chose to risk.

. . .

Authoress' note:
THAAAAAANK YOU for all the reviews! I love you guys! :3 :3 please tell me if Vorador was OOC, I tried to keep him the dirty bastard we all love XD
I do not own in any shape or form the characters featured in this story -this also applies to the story's image cover and to the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. I only own my OCs and the story's plot.
Comments please!
Have a good day/night and love Legacy of Kain!