Chapter Twelve
As Jacob kissed me I realized that I didn't know what I wanted. I pulled away. He stared at me smiling.
"You can't tell me that didn't mean anything!" He shouted. I shook my head.
"Jacob, I'm engaged." I informed him.
"What's it matter? Bella, I know you love me!" He said. He looked so little again. I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted Edward, and I felt guilty and horrible for kissing Jacob, but it was a good kiss, I couldn't lie about that.
"Jacob…" I started.
"Bella, I'm going to go and give you time to think about your next words. You find me when you're ready to talk!" He smiled and walked out. I sat down on the couch thinking. The phone started ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hi Bella." Oh no, it was Edward.
"Hi Edward, how's Alaska?" I asked.
"It's good but I can't wait to see you. How are things back at Forks?" He asked. I started to cry.
"Bella? What's the matter?" Edward asked.
"It's nothing." My voice was thick.
"Bella, do you want me to come home?" He asked.
"No, it's just that Jacob came over and we talked." I muttered.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
"I don't know. I'm not sure on anything anymore." I said. He was silent on the other end. He understood what I had meant.
"Well, Bella… I love you very much." He whispered. I just cried. He waited with me until I calmed down.
"I miss you Edward Cullen. I love you." I cried. I hung up the phone and fell asleep. I kept dreaming about the kiss, and Edward. I didn't know how I felt.
I awoke later that day. I showered and got ready. I walked down stairs and make some breakfast. The phone started ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hi Bella."
"Edward!" I sort of shouted. I was so relieved he called me back after last night.
"I'm glad to talk to you too love. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay after last night." He said. The smile quickly fell from my face.
"Um, yeah… I've got my head on right now. I can't wait to see you." I said my words came out in a rush.
"Alright, well I've got to let you go but I'll talk to you soon." He promised. He had that voice that said, I'd be checking up on you twice a day.
"I love you Edward." I said. He hung up the phone. I cleaned up my dishes and drove down to La Push. I drove past Billy's house but I was too chicken to go in. I ended up on the cliff where I almost died. I got out of the truck and sat there letting my feet dangle off the edge. I was nervous to talk to Jacob because I could tell his feelings for me were much stronger than mine were for him.
"Bella?"
"Hey." I said.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to talk." I said quickly. He sat down leaving no space between us. I moved over just a little.
"Well Jake… I need to talk to you…" I started. He waited. "You know that I love you right?" I asked.
"Yes." He said.
"I do love you and I always will no matter what… but, I'm not in love with you. Like, you're my brother… you're family Jake… and I know that you might not see it now, but I'm so messed up… you need someone who can give you everything… I couldn't do that." I said.
"No, Bella, you can… we can be together… I know it." He said. I shook my head.
"I'm not good for anyone." I whispered.
"Bye Jacob." I whispered and walked back to my truck. I felt bad for crushing him, but I know he'll find someone else someday and he'll be happy, he wouldn't be happy with me. I drove home thinking.
The next week went by quickly. I kept myself busy with house work and getting food. I visited Angela and Ben. And Jessica and Mike. I was sad that all of my friends had gotten their lives together I was still not completely in check with my life. Although the ring on my finger didn't go unnoticed.
"…Bella, what's with the lovely ring?" Angela asked. I looked down.
"Um, while I was in the hospital and Edward proposed!" I smiled.
"Well where is he?" Jessica smiled as she grabbed my hand.
"He's visiting family up in Alaska, the blonde who's been here is a close family friend… They should be driving back already…" I smiled. Thinking that their driving takes us days takes them only hours.
"Wow… where would he get something like this from?" Jessica asked.
"It was his birth mother's." I smiled as I looked at the oval diamonds sparkle.
"It's beautiful Bella." They all gushed over it. we hung out at the local pub but I went home early. I was hoping Edward would have called but he hadn't called in the last two days. I was slightly worried. I went to bed. I was restless. I finally fell into a sleep.
I was half asleep and my bed felt strangely cold and someone was talking to me. I rolled over and opened my eyes.
"Edward!" I screamed. I threw my arms around him and pulled him into a death grip hug.
"Hello love." He smiled.
"What are you doing back… I though you'd be a few more days." I said pulling out of the hug.
"I convinced Carlisle to come back early." He smiled. I put my left hand up to his face. I smiled.
"You're still wearing that ring?" he smiled. He cradled me in his arms.
"Yes, we went out to the pub tonight and everyone saw it…" I smiled. "I love it Edward." I whispered.
"I'm glad I'm back. I missed you. You will come over in the morning won't you?" He asked.
"Are you leaving me?" I asked and the panic started to creep into my voice.
"No, I'm not leaving you." He said. his words meant much more than I could ever explain.
"I love you Edward." I whispered. He looked down at me and smiled. He leaned in and kissed me lightly.
"Goodnight Bella." He whispered and started to hum my lullaby.
I fell into a deep sleep.
I woke later that morning and I was still in Edward's arms.
"Good morning love." He whispered. I smiled.
"I'm going to get cleaned up… don't move." I said. he nodded and sat completely still. I smiled. I quickly walked into the bathroom and showered. I came back into my room and Edward was still sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Hi." I smiled. I leaned against the door. Edward crossed the room and we headed into the kitchen where I quickly ate and we headed out to his house. We got there and everyone was excited the wedding was only a few weeks away.
"Um, Bella, I need to speak to you in my room." Alice said. I headed up stairs with her and she closed her door. She and helped me into my dress. I looked at myself in the mirror. I let out a small shriek.
Edward came bursting threw the door.
"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Edward, you can't see Bella in her wedding dress! It's bad luck!" Alice shouted.
"I love it." I said staring at the mirror. I finally turned around and saw Edward staring at me.
"Edward!" I shouted. "Don't you love it?" I asked in a quieter voice. His eyes raked over my body.
"I love it." He smiled. I turned back to the mirror. Edward came and stood next to me.
"Edward, leave! This is bad Luck!" Alice shouted. Edward run out of the room and shut the door.
"Alice it's perfect. I love it." I Smiled. She helped me out of the dress. She put it away in the closet.
"Edward really liked it didn't he?" She nodded. We finished up in Alice's room and made our way back downstairs.
Sorry it took so long getting this chapter out. Hope you enjoy it.
Movie I recommend:
Finding Neverland
