CHAPTER 12: LOVE HURTS WHEN YOU DENY IT
"Eh?"
"Y…you heard me…" Sakura continued, but now blushing secretly. "Are you…i-in love…with me?"
Naruto suddenly shivered and blushed red. Of course, Sakura didn't see since she was looking down. And yes, she's blushing too.
What's this? Wh-why am I feeling so embarrassed?! Sakura thought.
Sakura felt so guilty about something and she thought of it as this. But now that she blurted it out, instead of relief, embarrassment came after.
"Wh-wh-wh-what d-d-d-do you m-m-m…mean by that, S-S-Sakura-chan?!" Naruto sounded like choking from shock.
"You do love me…don't you?" Sakura asked as she slowly looked up and blinked.
And then, Naruto stopped blushing and managed to think of something different about what Sakura asked. Then suddenly, he smiled. Sakura was surprised a little of what she saw. After that, Naruto looked at Sakura sincerely with a smile.
"Of course I do, Sakura-chan." Naruto answered with a very bright smile.
"Huh?"
"I treat you as my little sister, silly! Why wouldn't I love you when you're not my best friend!?" Naruto added with a huge grin, showing his teeth.
"O...oh."
Sakura was relieved a little. She thought that something was wrong in their friendship. She thought that Naruto might be keeping secrets from her. She thought it all. But all of it was wrong. And so she smiled too and laughed a little.
"What made you ask that silly question anyway?" Naruto asked, trying to keep his blushes away.
"W-well, it's just that I, umm… I was just wondering that's all. Eheh…"
"Oh… A-anyways," Naruto noticed that he was still in Sakura's room. "Sorry I went inside without permission."
"O-oh, no. Not at all. It's alright. I mean, if you hadn't come… What might've happen to me, right?"
"Yeah, you're right."
As soon as Naruto and Sakura cleaned up, Naruto went outside and let Sakura dress up. But, as soon as it got quiet, Naruto's mind recalled the memory he couldn't believe that happened.
"Are you in love…with me?"
Naruto didn't blush, but his face became serious. He bowed his head again and thought more thoroughly.
What could've made Sakura-chan ask that? Was it obvious? Can she read my mind? No. That's impossible… He thought.
It was true. Naruto does love Sakura. As a sister, a classmate, a best friend. But if it was a serious question, it would also be a 'yes'. But Naruto never told anyone anything about his feelings. He was already satisfied with what they were and what they have. But not fully satisfied…
He'd really love it if their friendship ended up as a couple. But he knew better than that. He knew that they can't be with each other because Sakura lived in another world. If Sakura leaves, it would just hurt him more. So he chose this path for the sake of Sakura's heart and his, of course.
--
"Wow! It really is snowing!" a little girl said.
He was standing in a normal playground with children running around. But the children weren't playing the slide or the swing anymore. They were just playing the falling snowflakes they'd catch. With that happy thought, it brought him a past memory that would always return. And because of that, he never noticed that he was already smiling absentmindedly by himself.
But when he felt his own smile, it disappeared quickly before anyone could see it. He, Sasuke, chose to forget everything from his past when he was left alone. Even if he smiled, nothing would change. "Would a stupid smile bring back my family?" was what always he asked whenever he sees himself smile.
After that, he continued to walk through the snowy ground. School has surely stopped since it was December already. It was sure that snow wouldn't stop from a day it would start falling down. But that certain snowy day, it wasn't thick enough to stop Sasuke. He was wearing snow clothes, of course. Everyone was…
He was cursing himself again. He hated wearing the scarf from his past. But there was no choice. It was the only scarf he had and if he didn't wear it, his neck would end up cold as ice.
And recently, his hysterical conscience suddenly stopped, which made him relief a bit. But then, he wondered why. And the same time questioning himself why would he ask for the reason. He's already glad that it was gone for good, or so he thought…
Sakura and Naruto, seeing them so close, came to his sight. But the two didn't see him since they were far away and they were inside Suzuki's shop. Sasuke's sharp and keen eyes started too narrow as it saw the pink-haired laughing beside the blond. As soon as he would see her, he would remember two things: first, the hospital incident; and second: the school rooftop incident. Those were the places where Sakura and Sasuke had a bit of moments of themselves. But it wasn't the "bit of moments" that he would remember. It was Sakura herself. He still couldn't believe that the both of them made an imaginary(for himself) deal that she would be the only person he must hurt from that point on. And he still couldn't believe that he went back to school just because of her sake. It made him grumble.
Then suddenly, he heard another grumble coming from his stomach. Man, I didn't notice. He looked around but his eyes weren't moving too far. It just concentrated in one shop and it was where Naruto and Sakura were. He also noticed that it was the nearest building he could walk to. And so, again, he didn't have a choice. His feet started moving towards the small shop. He didn't want to eat in a place where the girl he didn't want to see was in. Plus, it would be weird for him to be eating in a place he'd never been. But it was too late. The door was a few yards away and it would be tiring to turn back. So…
--
"Sakura, dear." Suzuki called.
"Yes, Suzuki-san?" Sakura answered as she walked towards her.
Naruto was smiling as he ate in Suzuki's shop. He was glad that Sakura was well and had fully recovered from her short fever. And he successfully forgot the shocking memory of the "love" question. He hid it all for her sake. He was also glad that Sakura's warm smile came back. Even if she was considered Suzuki's lucky charm, Naruto considered her as his own charm. He never had a friend like Sakura before…
"Are you sure you can handle yourself?" Suzuki heard from Naruto that the cause of Sakura's absence was a fever. So she was worried, naturally.
"Of course, I can, Suzuki-san. Don't worry about me. I can do it!" Sakura showed her reassuring smile.
"Well, then." Suzuki handed her a pen and paper and Sakura knew what to do with it. "Take care of table 5, okay?"
"Ahah! Yes, ma'am!"
And so, Sakura went straight to the table Suzuki told her. But what she didn't know, the person sitting there was Sasuke. Sasuke didn't know either that Sakura was working in the shop he went in. All he knew that she was just eating there. And as soon as Sakura arrived in table 5…
"Hello, sir. May I take yo- U…Uchiha-san?!" Sakura was surprised as she saw Sasuke.
Sasuke was surprised as well. He didn't know how to react. And either did Sakura.
"Wh…what are you doing here?" Sasuke managed to recover.
"I…I work here." Sakura answered.
I can't believe it. Uchiha-san is here! Finally, I could talk to him… With no one to interrupt, I can finally ask him. Sakura celebrated in her mind.
"Oh. Is that so?" Sasuke kept his cool. "Well… I'll just have warm tea. That's all."
As Sasuke said his order, Sakura quickly wrote it in her paper. Sasuke stared at her as she wrote. He could tell that she wasn't afraid of him anymore since the incident in the hospital. And when Sakura finished writing, Sasuke looked the other way and Sakura looked at him.
"Would like to try our new beverage? It's hot chocolate, since it's cold and snowy." Sakura asked like any waitress.
"No thanks. I don't like sweets."
"O-oh. Well, I'll be back with your order, sir." Sakura smiled, turned away and went straight to the counter.
True as it was, Sakura didn't feel afraid anymore. And as she received the order, she took a tray and went back to him. As she walked towards his table, she decided in her mind that she would try to talk like any other day in school. Except that in school, she would always fail. But this time, there were no girls to walk right in front of her.
Naruto, as protective as he was, just noticed that Sasuke was the one Sakura was serving. But as he saw Sakura's bright face, something pulled him back on his chair and decided to just observe from afar. After all, he didn't want a fight in Suzuki's shop and especially, not on Sakura's sight.
What's he doing here?! Naruto thought with a grumble. If he ever hurt Sakura-chan, I'm gonna kick his ass outta here!!!
While Sakura placed the tea down his table, she looked at Sasuke and started to talk.
"U-umm, Uchiha-san," Sakura started. No reaction from Sasuke. "May I ask you something?"
"What is it?" Sasuke said lowly.
"Umm, it's about…what happened in the hospital."
Sasuke twitched. Crap! I should've known this would happen.
"It's also about what you…said to me." Sakura continued.
Sasuke didn't look. He didn't react. But Sakura wanted him to say something or just even look at her. Please, Uchiha-san. Please say something…
"What?" Sasuke finally asked.
"Just answer this and I'll go." Sakura tightened her grip on the tray. "Why… why did you even tell me that you're coming back to school?"
"…"
"Why keep it a secret?"
"…" Sasuke gulped.
"Why only me?"
Sasuke slammed the cup on the table after he drank half of the tea. But nobody heard it. Just the two of them. Sakura jumped a little.
"Didn't you hear what I said back then?" Sasuke slowly turned his head up to her.
"Y-yes, I did. But I-"
"Then shut it!" he whispered harshly.
"…!" Sakura gained a bit of fear again. But then, disappointment came again as she realized that her goal was a complete failure. She bowed her head in loss.
"…"
Harsh and cold silence came to the two. Sasuke hasn't released his grip on the cup. Sakura hasn't moved her head or feet from its place. Nothing moved…
With frustration covering her confidence, the pink-head moved first, slowly turning her foot backwards and gently turning around to the other direction. All of a sudden, a wonderful thought came to her head. So she turned back to him with a bright smile and Sasuke noticed this, looking at her in wonder.
"U-umm, Uchiha-san…" she started.
"What now?" he replied, a little bit irritated.
"W-well, it's just that, umm… you see, this coming Christmas Eve…umm, if you're not busy that is…" Sakura continued, looking away. "there's this, umm, party…if you're not busy, that is-" she repeated the last part.
"No." Sasuke answered quickly.
"B-but, it'll be fun! I swear…" Sakura defended. "Besides… I know that you don't want, umm, any company or many people, right?"
Sasuke looked away. Well… he thought. He closed his eyes and agreed with a nod. Sakura felt relief coming slowly and smiled more.
"Well, this party's not like the others you know. It'll be a small one, I promise." Sakura continued while Sasuke listened with his eyes closed. "There'll be just three persons invited: Naruto, me and Lee-san. And all we're gonna do is look at the sky and lie in the grassfield. And, well…that's it!"
Sasuke opened his eyes a little and thought of something while Sakura, hoping highly, waited for his answer.
"…please?" Sakura whispered, pleading.
"Well…" Sasuke repeated his thoughts.
Sakura's eyes suddenly lighted up in high hopes.
"You swear it'll be just us four?" he asked, including himself in the future event.
"Yes. Yes, I promise!" Sakura raised her right hand, really swearing.
"…Since I'm not busy…" Sasuke completely opened his eyes and looked at her, trying not to smile. "…all right, then. On Christmas Eve."
Sakura smiled widely and nodded at him. She bowed her head and whispered "thank you" that only Sasuke could hear. After that, she smiled at him again and turned around happily. She was going to Naruto's direction and was going to tell about the good news. But it was only good news for her. As soon as Naruto heard it from her, he looked at Sasuke with an opposite expression from her. He grumbled with fury and anger.
On the other hand, the raven-head continued to empty the tea calmly. While doing so, he kept thinking if he did the right thing. He knew himself so well, he wondered what made him say "yes". It was like he never thought of the consequences he would face. He never thought if "What if she was lying and there would be more people there?". But whenever he did, a voice in his head would say "She would never lie to you…". And it wasn't the voice which irritated him before. That voice was long gone.
But then, he never was invited as decent as she did. All the girls would squirm when they invited him. But wait, he never did accept any invitations before. What does that mean? Did he like her? Wait, wait… That's wrong. Completely wrong…
But… it was true. No matter how much he denied it, deep down inside him, he had really grown fond of this cherry-haired girl. Ever since they met in the hallway with the blondie, when he heard her cry in the hallway alone, when she rescued him in the middle of the road, when she slapped the truth from his face, when he told his secret in the hospital, until now…
He has grown fond of her…
And he kept on denying it…
