The breeze through the window is cool and relaxing, giving Terra a sense of pure inner peace that he hasn't felt in a long time. No headaches, no soreness. He sits on his spot at the edge of the table, and Naminé is putting up pictures on the wall opposite the window.
"Welcome back," she says, with a huge smile on her face. "I'm re-organizing this wall."
On this wall are a collage of pictures she drew. Many of them are new additions, to be sure. Tifa standing behind her bar. Cloud and Zack together. Aerith and Terra dancing. Leon and Terra arm wrestling. Eating ice cream with Lea. Meeting Sora and Riku.
Then, there are older memories. Terra as a very young boy before Aqua came to the academy, being carried on Eraqus' shoulders. Him and Ventus dueling. And one of his favorites: him and Aqua dressed as hooded skeletons, under a sky full of fireworks.
They are crudely drawn, as though they are done by a young child. But these memories are so precious that Terra can't help but feel a sense of immense warmth and comfort by looking at them.
"They're wonderful," he says, his voice drifting off somewhat.
"I picked these because these are your happy ones," she says. "I'm sure I'll be adding lots more as you continue your new adventure."
"You know, Naminé, I remember you now."
Naminé is truly excited to hear this as she clasps her hands together. As if he gave her the most happy of news. As if he gave her a new puppy. Terra sighs behind a laugh.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know that forgetting you earlier would hurt your feelings so much."
"Don't be," she says as she blushes and looks at her hands. "I'm glad. That means you understand now."
"You're a witch. You... somehow you connected me with her. I talked to her, to Aqua." Terra gently shakes his head. "I actually thought that was a dream. But... what I don't understand is how you did it?"
Naminé holds her hands to her heart. "Sora." She says this with a sense of loving, as though Sora means the world to her and would be the only thing to make her happy.
"Sora?"
"The both of us are connected to him. I was tracing his memories, and I found you. You were connected to his heart. And through your heart, I saw her." She smiles gently.
But Terra still doesn't understand.
"What does Sora have to do with us, though?" With me and Naminé? With me and Aqua?
Naminé giggles a little. "So you don't realize it yet. You will one day."
"I thought you were a super-talented witch," Terra says with a sly smile. "Can't you wave your magic wand and make me know now?"
"I only know what you know to be true in your heart," is all she has to say.
"You make no sense."
"This is a dream," she says, as she holds her index finger to her mouth, like she is keeping a coy secret that she is desperate to tell. "How am I supposed to know what you don't? You're the one who makes no sense."
"But I'm not the one with the special powers." He gives her puppy dog eyes, hoping it will convince her to give up her secrets.
"What you need to know, Terra, is that hearts will always be connected once you have made the bond. You must remember this, you need to always be guided by that," she says as she walks towards the table.
Terra truly doesn't understand, but he doesn't ask further about it since she seems adamant in not saying anything.
He studies the wall of happy memories. His chest fills with air, as if any moment he can fly. Freedom. The ability to live again. Being around people again. Remembering what it feels like to talk to others, what it feels like to savor something delicious. The exciting feeling that comes with meeting new people.
What a thing to lose. To go back to nothing but blackness, with nothing to see or do. To go back to an endless time just reliving memories, wishing he could redo them. That night is over. His past is over. And how much longer does he have left?
"I'm afraid, Naminé," he says as his voice shivers a bit. "I'm just fearing one day soon, I'll lose my mind."
Naminé's expression falls, and her sincere sadness is nothing to admire.
He continues, "is there any way I can take these pictures with me when I go?"
Naminé reacts with a slight shiver, as though she is nearly moved to tears by the request.
"Is there any way I can come back here, instead?" he pleads. "I don't want... to go back."
"There is something I do want to show you," she says, not sounding worried, yet not sounding confident either.
She grabs her notebook and takes out photos she drew from it. On these photos, he can see Xehanort everywhere. Xemnas sitting in a room with a bunch of people in black robes. What can only be Ansem fighting a duel with Sora. Xehanort with a very young, angry boy with black hair and red eyes. And Aqua, surrounded by darkness, talking to Terra, though with white hair.
"In that conversation, Xehanort... he used me to get information out of her," Terra says, as his voice shakes more. "How am I supposed to prevent that from ever happening again?"
"You were awake when that happened."
"I can't let him control me again. I'm going to lose so much more this time."
"Well, it sounds like what you have to do then is to find her before he does." She brings her hand to her face in a thinking posture.
Terra lets out a large breath as he calms down, solemnly gazing upon these depictions of Xehanort's memories. A heart bonded to him that isn't broken.
"Terra, you must know that you're doing the right thing," Naminé says.
He says nothing in return as he contemplates what she is saying. If his heart will always be connected to Xehanort's, then maybe there isn't a way out.
"Terra," she says earnestly, with a sweet reassuring smile, reminding him that he can experience solace here. "He cannot touch you here. You are safest when you are sleeping."
That morning, Terra does push-ups in his room, staring at the wooden floorboards underneath him. A reflection shines from the incoming sunlight, beaming out from underneath the cracks. It is a new hiding spot for Aqua's armor, now resting underneath the crudely made floorboards. Too bulky to carry around, hopefully this spot will be safe for it.
After enough push-ups, sit-ups and lunges necessary to maintain a conditioned physique, Terra heads outside to find a clearing - the early hours drag too long and he needs something productive to do. He begins doing movement, posture and form exercises with Rainfell, and there is nothing else better on a calm, sunny morning.
Zack and Cloud pass by him, and the former can't help but beg for some sparring practice (the latter casually accepting the idea, as though he is feigning coolness when he is truly interested). Not that he needs to beg in the first place. I need the practice anyway.
Zack fights confidently and with bravado. It is clear that he adores fighting, and he gets excited at any chance he can take to overcome Terra. When he was a teenager, Zack did not pose much of a challenge. However, this isn't the case now - which is beneficial. Twelve years are too long not to sharpen the senses.
Turns out that Zack is really just a warm-up.
It comes to Cloud's turn, and he pulls out his enormous sword. Something in Terra's face must have really exposed the intimidation that he felt upon seeing it, because Zack breaks out into a hysterical laughter.
Zack cups his hands around his mouth and yells from the other side of the clearing, "Terra! You can do this, buddy. Remember that size doesn't matter!"
As a sparring opponent, Cloud is much more fierce, and his sword is so large and heavy that Terra has a difficult time deflecting attacks with the Rainfell. As a Keyblade that packs all of its punch with magic, Terra has little to offer it in return. Every swing makes Terra scared that it's going to shatter, especially up against such a massive weapon. To him, there has been no improvement in his technique with it from the fights with the Heartless yesterday.
He lets Cloud lecture him on tips for how to parry larger opponents - and he wonders if this is how Aqua feels when she has to go up against him. He is the heavy-hitter between the two after all, and she usually relies on evasive tactics to handle his brute strength. What a way to be put in her shoes.
After the sparring match, Terra is left alone again, going over his movements with the Rainfell. This is probably the most challenging Keyblade I have ever held.
But at least the forms that he is practicing are so known to him that he does them absent-mindlessly. He lets his mind wander to thoughts that have no bearing on him now except to leave shadows in the depths of his heart.
It was night, and the stars shown as brightly as they ever did over the Land of Departure when the sky was clear. Terra sat on a boulder, although instead of gazing at the stars like he would normally do, he was staring at the ground, with his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed.
He was so deep in thought, in fact, that he didn't hear Ventus running up behind him.
"Terra!" The boy ran up to his side, with his usual wide grin, although his expression immediately changed upon noticing Terra's mood. "Hey, don't look so down. You know that you have tomorrow to prove him wrong."
Terra never liked letting Ventus see him upset or disappointed. He bore a smile, even insincere, just to comfort his dear friend.
"You're right, I'll do better in my preliminary exams tomorrow." Terra took a moment to grin at Ventus, who was clearly outside, pretty late... which meant that he was ignoring his assigned studies.
"Ven, what are you doing out here? You have assignments."
Ventus gave a look that could be classified as terror in any other appropriate circumstance.
"Ugh, why do you have to remind me? I don't want to be locked up inside," he said, punctuating with his words with exaggerated arm movements to make sure that Terra knew how he really didn't want to do any homework.
Ventus then held his hands behind his head. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Aqua is going to come out here, and you guys are going to spar. That's so much more fun."
He continued to take a short moment to bite his lip before giving a mischievous smile. "Unless you are wanting me to scram so you can have time with her for yourself," Ventus said, with a most obnoxious voice that imitated the sound of a child teasing another.
"Okay, you have homework. Go do it," Terra said shortly.
Ventus was laughing at the sight of Terra's sudden shift in mood. Terra could tell that the kid absolutely relished his discomfort.
It didn't take long for Aqua to appear, reminding Ventus that he had to study for his oral examinations the next day. Ventus finally gave in and left, but not before giving Terra an expression that pretty much said 'go get her, tiger.'
Terra scattered his eyes towards the ground as she sat next to him.
"It's so cute that he follows you around like that, like you're his big brother," she said.
"Yeah, how cute it is that he tries so hard to make up excuses not to do anything but spar."
"Well, he's so young and excitable. I remember a certain someone didn't enjoy reading when he was younger."
"I'm not like that now," Terra said, without meeting her eyes.
"Terra," she began, in a way that sounded as though she was going to start lecturing him. "I know you pretty well."
He let a smile come across his face as he let out a soft laugh. "What do you mean?"
"You are sitting here being hard on yourself. You can't stand receiving negative criticism from the Master."
Terra kept his eyes on the ground. He really yearned for her to admire him. Any criticism from the Master not only made Terra feel like he wasn't improving the way he wanted to, but it embarrassed him. It was important that he kept impressing her.
"Come on," she said as she got up. "Let's go to our spot."
Terra felt comfortable enough at this point to finally look her in the face, and glance upon those large, blue eyes that he always loved to admire. He knew what it meant for them to go to their spot. This spot, several minutes of a walk away from the academy, lay next to a spring. A chest was kept there, a place where they kept old toys from their childhood, wooden swords, and blankets.
This spot was a place where they spent nights throughout their friendship sparring. Where they talked in depth about some of the more confusing lessons taught to them and their secrets. Endless hours of conversations about their doubts, and their dreams for the future. But never once about how he felt inadequate in comparison to her. Never once about how he had feeling for her.
Aqua rummaged through several items inside the chest.
"Oh man!" she said. "Do you remember this?" She held up a white notebook.
"Ah, all of our most secretive of secrets," Terra said as he opened it.
"Oh please. Most of what's in there are recipes."
"Secret recipes."
Aqua laughed out loud and shook her head as she pulled out a very worn, short wooden sword. It was so beat up that the tip of it had broken off. This was very long before Terra made himself a wooden Keyblade model and gave it to Ventus.
"Do you remember what you did with this?" she asked.
"I was on my way to becoming a Keyblade master with that, what else?"
"You're being ridiculous. You swung at a boulder so hard that you broke it."
"What's your point?"
Aqua summoned her Keyblade as she faced Terra. "Remember what the Master said. Don't get too carried away with trying to knock me down. Have patience. Sometimes it's better to just parry while you wait for a genuine opportunity." She shook her head. "You are so focused on beating me to bits that you sometimes miss when you shouldn't."
Terra summoned his Keyblade. She always offered to spar when he got upset, because fighting was the only distraction that worked from any intrusive thoughts. In fact, it always seemed as though she knew what would work to ease his mind.
"You know Aqua, I'm beginning to think that you are going to beat me at this during our Mark of Mastery exam next year," he said.
"Nonsense," she said confidently. "I actually think you are a better fighter than I am. I know you're going to pass. That's really the only option available to you, after all."
She nodded to herself before continuing, "I also think you care so much about being a Keyblade Master. You have the sincerity needed to do the world so much good. You are meant for this, Terra."
His stomach contorted into knots, and he took a hard swallow. Was she trying to make him feel better, or was this feeling genuine? Did she really think of him in a special way, the way he did for her?
They sparred for two hours. Two true equals, both on a different level of understanding of their own fighting style yet so familiar with the other.
As with their tradition on any night out in their spot, they took out a blanket stored in their chest and rested on it, too exhausted to walk back home.
The two of them laid on their sides facing each other, and he gazed upon her face as she slept, watching the gentle movements she made as she breathed deeply, her hair gracefully framing her forehead and her eyes peacefully closed. He quickly studied the curves of her body, a growth that had been developing in recent years which made him take notice of her in a different way as he ached for her attention. His right hand was painfully close to hers, so much so that he only needed to reach out a bit to touch them.
Was she really asleep? "Aqua..." he said in a whisper. She didn't move or reply.
I actually care about you so much, he thought to himself, not having the courage to say it aloud nor having the selfishness to disturb her. Not that it mattered right now, though, since she wouldn't hear it. And what if telling her ruined his most beloved friendship? What if telling her somehow broke them apart, not just between himself and Aqua, but made it hard on Ven?
He didn't count the long minutes he took to just look at her, until he finally rolled over to his back and fell asleep under the careful watch of the stars.
Terra doesn't realize that he is staring down at Rainfell, lost in memory. I should have found some way to tell you. I had so many opportunities that I either missed or messed up.
The Rainfell continues to send warm, radiating energy up his arm as he lets out a small smile. It's like she's with me.
"Hey, it seems like you got your Keyblade back!" Riku's voice can be heard from the near distance.
Riku and Sora are running towards Terra, both with welcoming smiles on their faces.
"It's Aqua's actually," Terra says. "I haven't been able to summon mine, yet."
"Okay, good, I was going to say that it looked really small for you," Sora says. "Well, if you are wielding hers, then it's just a matter of time before you get yours back, right?" He says this with the most confident reassurance that Terra has ever heard from anyone, as if Sora can do nothing but know that everything will be alright.
I sure hope so.
"It looks like you were practicing." Riku has a sense of excitement in his voice. "You were trained to fight, weren't you?"
"Well, yeah, I was taught at the academy," Terra says without realizing what he just exposed. I don't know what makes it easy for me to talk to them about these things. It's like being around people I've known for a while.
Riku and Sora both gape at him, astounded by the thought that there used to be a school to teach fighters how to master a Keyblade.
"Then you gotta teach me something!" Sora says as he summons his Keyblade and jumps back to get into his fight posture.
"Oh yeah, this is too good an opportunity to pass up." Riku summons his and strides to his position and form.
As expected, Sora is a very reactionary opponent. He has immense skill in how to properly and quickly assess an action against him so that he can retaliate. Riku is much more aggressive and hyper-focused. Quick and strong, he is skilled at assessing weakness in who he fights and exploiting it.
Terra, however, is grounded and confident in his strong core.
After roughly a half hour juggling, the three Keybearers take a break, the two younger ones gasping for air.
"Man, you hit hard," Riku says with a laugh, kneeling over his knees.
"That was great though! It's always good to practice with someone you're unfamiliar with," Sora says with a joy as though he is both very proud of himself while still admiring Terra's ability. A joy that is never-ending and can be shared with everyone.
"It was good practice." Riku shakes his hands and straightens up.
"And here I thought Master Riku didn't need practice," Sora says.
Terra cannot help himself but give out a shocked, yet joyous laughter. "Master?"
A sense of pride swells in his chest, despite that he is aware that he had nothing to do with Riku's path towards mastery.
"I have to say, you are doing a splendid job if you still think that practice is necessary," Terra says. "Lack of practice means we lose that mastery. A master is really a forever student."
"Hear that, Sora?" Riku says. "Once you become master, you shouldn't let it get to your head."
"Haha, very funny," Sora says with the obviousness that he doesn't think it was.
Riku seems to realize this, and quickly tries to compensate with utmost sincerity. "You'll do fine."
"I didn't pass," Sora tells Terra, with a hint of disappointment, and yet with the will to keep himself positive about it. "But maybe next time, right?"
Terra, touched at both Riku's humility about his position and Sora's cheerful determination, allows himself to melt away the wall he has been keeping up the entire time he was awake.
"It's okay," he says as he places his hand on Sora's shoulder. "I didn't either."
The two are absolutely shocked to hear this, and Terra laughs at their reactions. Riku remains speechless while Sora just beams from ear to ear.
"Whoa, that makes me feel loads better. Well Riku," he says as he faces his best friend, with a smug smile and his hands behind his head. "Looks like you can't be part of the loser's club."
"I didn't know that was such an aspiration," Riku says as he waves away what sounds like a hint of jealousy. "You know, though, I actually thought this entire time a master came to meet me on the islands."
"That... doesn't change a thing," Terra says. "I noticed something about you, and passed on that power because I thought you yearned for it. And here you are now, Master Riku."
"You can stop calling me that."
"Duly noted," Terra says with a gentle smile.
"So then what happened during your exam?"
What happened... Terra could say that two masters were in disagreement over his results. Except that wasn't entirely true. Xehanort's goal was merely to gain Terra as a tool, and he did say anything to soften him up to do it. What really mattered in the end was Eraqus' opinion.
Still, when Xehanort reassured Terra, it did give him a confidence boost that he needed. The same confidence that gave Terra the thought he had the right to initiate Riku, which obviously turned out to be a good thing.
"You can say that I didn't pass, and I didn't agree with why," Terra says.
Sora guffaws at such an answer. "What a rebel," he says in between laughs. "Sounds like someone I know."
Riku, however, seems to be very proud. "I like to call people like us open-minded." Introspective and earnest. He's nowhere near as outwardly open as Sora, but every word said is a word meant.
Terra gives a half-smile. I never thought of it that way.
"Anyway," Riku says, "Terra, now that you can defend yourself, you should really come with us."
"Yeah! Fighting with you just... reminds me of something," Sora says. "But we could take you wherever you want."
"We should remember to take him to Yen Sid," Riku says.
"Well, right, but I think Terra would really want to look for his friends, right? And, like, he really reminds me of something and I want to show it to him."
Terra does not know what Sora is talking about, but it may be an eye-opening venture. Anything that has to do with him might be something to give him leads on Aqua and Ventus. He eventually follows them back to the open military station, where their gummi ship is waiting.
Everyone already knows that Riku and Sora are there, and the news that Terra is leaving spread like wildfire, attracting his new friends so they can send blessings.
At the military station, Riku sits on a chair with his arms crossed while Aerith trims his hair.
"Let me tell you something," she says to Terra as he passes by. "If you allow him to just grow it out, he will let it cover his face. Now, you tell me, how is he supposed to fight that way? Someone needs to keep up. It grows like it's dying to get out of his scalp."
Donald and Goofy are there discussing with Sora about Terra joining them. Leon is also there, looking through some reports about infrastructure, while Cloud is bringing in newly finished weapons.
Lightning approaches Terra with a couple of books in her arms. "So I hear you're leaving," she says. "It's a shame, now that we know you're a Keyblade wielder."
To Terra, it sounds like Lightning is being vulnerable, and he is delighted about the chance to mess with her. He looks over to Leon, whose facial expression seems to agree.
"Light, it sounds like you're going to miss me," Terra tells her.
"Well, it might make it more difficult for us to defend ourselves, but we'll manage," she says with a seriousness as though she either doesn't realize that he is trying to tease her or is trying to reject it.
Leon shakes his head in silence, but a tiny grin creeps up. "Never change, Light."
"We actually are preparing a package for the people in Traverse Town," she says, business as usual. "We would like you to take it to them when it is finished tomorrow. We'll pay you of course."
Sora turns around to plead, "oh please don't mention Traverse Town."
Riku calls out from his chair, "where do you think we were last night?"
Cloud overhears this and joins the conversation. "Traverse Town has been dealing with an indestructible Heartless that comes every two nights to prey on the people there."
"Heartless are not indestructible," Sora says as he aggressively swipes his hand in the air, as though he is offended by such an idea.
"It's indestructible enough that you guys can't seem to make a dent on it," Cloud says, and Sora scowls. "This thing has been at these people for weeks, now."
Lightning puts down her books and leans on the table in front of Terra. "I'm sure you can tell, Terra, that we run a tight military operation here. In Traverse Town, it's mainly civilians that are dealing with it."
"Civilians and mages," Leon says. "We actually have one of our men there to help."
Cloud puts his hand on Terra's shoulder. "They do have good leadership though, who are absolutely trustworthy."
"We need you to take this package to them when it's finished. They really need it," Lightning says.
"Understood," Terra replies. "I'll be sure to bring back two more Keyblade wielders with me so they can help."
Lightning smiles. A small smile, to be sure, but a pleasant experience to finally witness.
"We will hold you to that," Leon says.
Before boarding the gummi ship, Tifa comes along with Zack. She hugs Terra tightly, telling him to be sure that he rations his potion as she still does not have the ingredients to make him another one. Zack also gives Terra a manly embrace and a hard pat on the back, telling Sora and Riku that they are in very good hands with him.
As they board the ship, Sora calls back to Terra. "Where do you want to go? Home?"
Terra realizes what this essentially means. A chance to move forward and actually take some initiative to search for his friends. How easily things come to him when he stops worrying about them.
Home.
