It took until the third night in the cave for Emma to work up the nerve to ask the question she'd been pondering since the woods. She sat leaning against the cave wall, arms wrapped around drawn-up knees as she enjoyed the comfortable silence. Across the way, Bae worked at sorting and organizing their things - some strange nightly habit he'd established since their arrival.
As she watched him, Emma sat thinking about their discussion on the journey to the cave; how much he knew about her plans prior to their marriage and how little she knew of his. Come to think of it, aside from their talk about his parents' union she knew little of his life prior to their meeting. And despite his claim that it didn't matter, she couldn't help but find herself curious about the course he'd been forced to alter when his father's ultimatum was handed down. So she broke the silence, her voice soft and pensive. "Bae?"
He picked his head up with a "Hmmm?," focus still on the task at hand.
"What hopes did you have for your life?"
The question garnered his full attention. He sat back on his haunches, turning to face her and letting out a small chuckle. "Well, that's a bit of a heavy question. I suppose that depends on what you mean, exactly. Or maybe rather when you mean."
She looked back at him, tilting her head to the side and furrowing her brow. "I just... after our conversation the other night... I just wondered. You know what the plan had been for my life, but I've no idea what your future looked like before I disrupted it. So I suppose I meant in general, had your father not decided your fate for you."
He made an attempt at a smile as he responded. "My life hasn't been as straightforward as yours, Emma. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume you'd pretty much always known your path, growing up as the sole heir to the throne." She nodded, though the expression on her face indicated that perhaps he had oversimplified the situation. "For me... I grew up as a simple spinner's son. There was a girl next door - Morraine - same age as me, came from a family just as poor as mine. She was probably the only real friend I ever had. She never looked at my father as if he was a coward, and she didn't shy away from me once he became the Dark One, either. I guess I always just figured I'd marry her."
"But you didn't?" she asked before catching herself. "Well, I suppose it's obvious that you didn't - we're here. So what happened?"
"My Papa," he replied. "Not surprisingly."
"He objected?"
"No, nothing like that. I, uh... I left. Kind of had to. He'd changed, you know? He took on his curse to save me, but it just ended up costing me in the end. I couldn't stay to see what he did to people. I begged him to come with me, but he wouldn't. I ended up going alone."
"Where did you go?"
He let out a sharp chuckle. "I doubt you'd believe me if I told you."
"Try me," she replied, unfolding her legs and leaning forward. "After the month I've had, little would surprise me."
He sighed, moving to settle himself on his bed as he spoke. "All right. I was fourteen - and desperate - so I called to the blue fairy. She gave me a magic bean, told me it was the only way to save my Papa."
"Truly?" She raised an eyebrow. "I'd heard folklore of such a thing, but thought they were merely tales."
"Unfortunately not," he replied. "I was told it was the last one, though given everything I've experienced since I'm unsure the truth of that."
She hummed, letting silence reign for a moment before she prodded him forward. "So did you use it? The bean?"
"I did," he replied, looking down and tracing the pattern of his blanket with his fingers. "It was supposed to take Papa and I to a land where his curse would be dormant - a land without magic. But when the time came - " He faltered, breath catching in his throat. "I've never really told anyone all of this. I'm not sure what's possessing me to do so now, honestly."
"I'm sure it has nothing to do with the bonds of matrimony we've been forcibly entered into," she postured, a wry smile sneaking onto her face. When he didn't smile back, she continued more sincerely. "I really do want to know, Bae. We've been married upwards of a month and I still know very little about you."
"Or I you, Emma."
She didn't necessarily agree - at this point, he knew her better than almost anyone. But that was a discussion for later, so instead of arguing she sent him a gentle smile. "Since we're stuck here together for the foreseeable future, it seems a particularly opportune time to learn." Again, he did not respond, so she pressed a bit harder. "Please. I'm really trying here."
He met her gaze and found her looking at him imploringly, her expression sincere. With a curt nod, he forced himself to continue. "When I threw down the bean and the portal opened, I took his hand and jumped in. But Papa... he didn't. He just... let me go." He swallowed hard, trying to force down the lump in his throat. When he looked across at Emma, he found her looking back at him, mouth slightly agape, a horrified expression on her face.
"Oh, Bae, I'm so sorry," she said. "I had no idea. That must have been terrifying for you."
He shrugged again, his well-practiced armor sliding back into place. "I figured out pretty quickly that he valued his magic more than anything. At least on the other side I didn't have to watch him hurting people."
"The other side?"
A crooked smile spring onto his face, some sort of humor that Emma didn't quite get. "I spent about six months in a place called London, in a land without magic. Ended up going from there to Neverland."
The corner of her mouth flickered up into a small smile. "Didn't know I'd married a realm-jumper."
"It's not all it's cracked up to be, believe me."
Her brow furrowed again. "So after Neverland you came back here?"
He shrugged. "Was brought back here is more like it, yeah."
Emma raised an eyebrow, interest piqued. "Sounds like a whirlwind few years."
"Yeah. I guess it does." Silence reigned again, Emma digesting the tale as Bae tried to smash the past hurts back down. It didn't take her long to resume the conversation, and he found himself thankful for the distraction from his own thoughts.
"Whatever happened to Morraine?" she asked - and if he hadn't known better, he would have sworn there was a hint of jealousy in her voice.
"I don't know, honestly. I hope she had a long and happy life. Whatever her life was, she passed on long ago."
Confusion clouded Emma's face. "I thought you said she was your age?"
"She was. The thing about Neverland, though, is that there is no time there. So while it felt like one long, endless night to me, a couple of centuries had passed by the time I was brought back to my father."
"So you're..."
Bae squinted, trying to do the math. "Roughly 278? I think. Papa won't tell me exactly."
Emma made a face. "That's a bit disconcerting, Bae."
"My apologies. I didn't mean to upset the princess."
She shook her head, indicating no ill will. "I'm far from upset, more... intrigued. How does that work, exactly? Do you feel really old? You don't look it, certainly."
"Thanks, I think?" He laughed. "It's... different. It certainly didn't feel as if I lived a couple hundred years while I was there. I spent most of my time trying to stay alive - spent some time living in a cave not unlike this one. Physically, I didn't age at all, I was stuck at fifteen for the duration. It's like time just works differently there. I don't feel terribly much older than the nineteen I am, except for knowing how to survive on my own. It feels like I've been doing that for as long as I can remember."
Emma frowned. "That's terrible, Bae." The more she learned about the boy, the more she felt his insistence on playing caretaker was completely the opposite of how things should be. Being abandoned at every turn only seemed to make him intent on protecting those around him - including her - from that same depth of loss.
He shrugged, gesturing at the cave around them. "Seems to me the knowledge can be useful from time to time. Like when you have to hide a princess in a cave. Right?"
"I suppose." She stared at him for a long moment, a small smile creeping onto her face. "You do it too, you know."
"Do what?"
"Duck behind a mask when things get uncomfortable."
He sighed, fidgeting. "Seems it's a common reaction. I'll spare you the cold shoulder."
Emma scowled. "You'd known me a week, Bae."
"And? You've known me a month."
She studied him for a moment. "A lot has happened in that month. I feel like we're better..." Trailing off, she searched for the words. "Better able to understand each other."
"I suppose that's fair," he replied, sending her a guarded smile. "Maybe we should both work at dropping the masks then."
Emma let out a small harrumph. "We'll have to see about that. It's a lot of years of practice to toss it aside." Then she grinned. "You more than me, I suppose."
He shook his head, dropping it to his hands. "Holding it against me already, are you?"
"Not in the least. Merely teasing."
"Because things got too real?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Your fault this time."
She sighed. "We're certainly a pair, aren't we?"
"That we are, my dear princess. That we are."
The kingdom's rulers were doing their best to distract themselves from the matters that threatened to swallow all of their thoughts. Though they hated their daughter being imprisoned so far away from them, they were in agreement that leaving her under the charge of the Dark One was likely the safest place for her at the moment. And so, in an attempt to balance the needs of their family with the needs of the kingdom, they moved their focus to the people who relied on them for leadership.
As such, Charming had just arrived back from the village, greeting his wife with a passing kiss before depositing himself on the chaise next to her desk in her study.
"And how is winter preparation faring?" Snow asked him.
"Well! The grain stores are nearly full, corn is topped off in the silos and the smokehouses have been very productive."
"That's wonderful! I don't want to run the risk of another winter like the one we had when Emma was eight."
Emma. Snow had forgotten the unspoken rule - not mentioning their daughter's name lest thoughts be pulled from the subject at hand. Sure enough, she watched as her husband's jaw tightened, fists clenching up as he pulled in a sharp breath through his nose.
"She's safe, Charming. Rumplestiltskin has given his word. I know he's not our favorite character, but-"
The prince's temper erupted. "Why is it you insist on trusting that monster?!"
Snow sent him a soft smile. "He led you to me, didn't he?"
Charming pushed out a frustrated breath, doing his best to steady his temper and not snap at his wife. "Snow, I love that you try to see the best in everyone, but there are times when-"
He was cut off as a whirl of magic erupted in the corner of the room. Suddenly Cora appeared, a placid smile on her face. Setting eyes on the prince, her expression quickly turned to a scowl. "Oh, dear. I came to talk to Snow, not you," she said, snapping her fingers in his direction.
He disappeared and she looked satisfied - at least until she registered Snow's squeak and look of horror. "Oh, don't worry your pretty little face about him. I didn't send him far. He'll be back within the hour. I wanted a chance to chat with you, just us girls, you know?" Cora stepped closer to Snow, picking up a lock of dark hair and wrapping it around her finger. "We used to be so close, back before Regina sent me away. You used to be able to tell me anything."
Snow scowled. "You took what I told you in confidence and killed a man!"
"Oh, posh, that stable boy was nothing but a distraction for my Regina." She sighed. "Alas, Regina didn't see it that way. I'd so like the chance to make it up to her, but I need to find her first. Dearest Snow, you know what it's like to be separated from your daughter. Mother to mother, won't you tell me where mine is?"
Snow stiffened; mention of Emma by Cora made her anxiety rise even further. "I told you, I don't know where she is. Rumplestiltskin-"
"It's funny that you blame it on him. I went to visit and he implied exactly the opposite."
"He did?"
"Yes, my dear, he did. Now tell me, why is that?"
Snow paused, thinking. "Why does that man do anything he does?"
Cora laughed, peals of near-maniacal laughter leaving Snow to wonder if she'd finally crossed the line into completely mad. "Such a marvelous question! Why does he do these things. Like protecting your daughter. What could you possibly have offered him to secure that deal? Riches, livestock, land, a trinket? Clearly not your firstborn, that would have been counterproductive." She made a face, pondering the mystery. "Though... she's not here at the castle, nor has there been news of the pomp surrounding a royal wedding..." Cora gasped, taking the look of guilt that crept onto Snow's face as confirmation of her suspicions. "Why, you sold out your daughter in order to guarantee her safety."
"We didn't sell her out!" Snow cried, defending herself against her guilty conscience. "She married his son."
The dropping of pin would have been audible in the silence that followed. "Rumple has a son?" Cora asked, and Snow would have sworn there was a hint of hurt in her incredulous answer. As the sorceress recovered from her shock, she gathered her wits about her, shooting accusatory daggers at Snow. "You married your little princess off to the son of the Dark One?! My, you must have been desperate."
Snow, having taken advantage of Cora's shock to recompose herself, rolled her eyes. "Don't be preposterous. The children fell in love. You know my Emma, there's no telling her what to do once she's set her mind to something." She found herself surprised at how easily the lie rolled off her tongue. It was done to protect Emma, she told herself, keeping consistent with the story they'd told at the ball. If Cora knew the truth, she'd have used it against them, some way, some how. This was to protect Emma. "I was heartbroken at the time, so young and she'd left home already. But now I'm glad - she's tucked safely inside the walls of the Dark Castle with Baelfire... and protected from you."
"Rumplestiltskin can be persuaded, my dear."
Snow scrambled for a comeback, something in keeping with the tale rather than alluding to her daughter's place as an investment. A thought occurred to her, an offhanded comment from the ball creeping into her conscience. Though the concept left her ill at ease, it might be the thing that would convince Cora that Emma was untouchable. She drew in a breath, reminding herself yet again what Cora was capable of, and forced the lie out - for Emma.
"Of all the faults I find in that monster, he takes his responsibility to his family quite seriously. So he'll protect Emma - after all, what if she's carrying his grandchild?"
Cora didn't need to know the impossibility of that situation. The threat worked, leaving the sorceress trapped without a rebuttal. Her frustration was palpable, not only expressed on her face but through the maelstrom she unleashed. Wind whipped through the study, ripping paintings off the wall and sending books and ledgers flying. "I'll find a way, dear Snow, don't you worry about that. I'll find where Regina is and I'll find your precious daughter and make no mistake: Rumplestiltskin or no, we will have our vengeance for the havoc you wreaked on our family!" And with that, she was gone.
The smoke had barely cleared when Charming arrived at the door, breathless from his run back to the castle. His eyes grew wide as he looked about the room. "What happened here?"
Snow let out a deep sigh. "Cora."
"Papa, NO!"
The now-familiar shout echoed throughout the cavern, far more deafening than usual. It awoke Emma with a start, leaving her heart racing as she blinked a few times, trying to get her bearings in the glow of the dying embers. She tossed off her blanket, picking her way around the fire to where Bae lay thrashing on his pallet.
Finding a way to crouch near him was not terribly easy, what with their supplies at the top of his bed and the fire next to him, but Emma managed. She brushed a hand across his hair, reassuring him - "You're okay, Bae, you're not alone, I'm right here." Her heart ached as she watched him fight invisible foes, knowing now what his father had put him through. It felt like an eternity that she crouched there, reassuring him, longer than it ever had in the cottage. Luckily their new setting hadn't lessened her ability to calm him and eventually he returned to restful sleep.
She found the candle shoved to the back of Bae's stash, near the wall of the cave. Scooping it up, Emma held it to the fire and managed to get its wick lit off of a small flame. After searching for a moment, she managed to find a spot that was flat enough to set it down. Her thoughts were swimming as she crawled back onto her own pallet. She'd done her best not to imagine what Bae saw in his nightmares, but every piece he added to the puzzle made that more and more difficult. He'd clearly been through much more than she'd ever imagined.
She drifted into an uneasy slumber, only to be awoken a short while later by the soft whoosh of the candle being blown out. She turned to look across the alcove at Bae. The soft glow from the embers provided just enough illumination for her to see that he was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Something must have tipped him off that she was awake as he began speaking in a hushed tone, gaze still fixed skyward.
"It's the same every time. My father... he's got my hand, fingers wrapped around mine as I'm dangling over that pit. And then he opens his fingers and just... lets go. And I fall away, away from him, away from the only home I've ever known. I just watch him as I fall, loving his magic and his power, choosing it over me... loving it more than me."
Emma remained silent as he poured his heart out, uncertain of how to respond and feeling silence the most reverent option. She listened as he steadied shaky breathing, ragged breaths becoming clearer as the moments passed.
"I'd thought I was having fewer since I moved down to the cottage. Figured it was being away from my father. Turns out you were just catching them before I woke myself up. The number of times I awoke in the morning to find a candle burning..." He turned to look at her, eyes trained on her shape in the disappearing light. "Why'd you feel the need to comfort me?"
The leaves beneath her rustled as she shrugged. "It was only decent."
She could imagine his brow furrowing as he studied her, lack of belief radiating across the cave. Revising the story, she figured she'd save him from having to call her bluff. "I noticed it happened on the days you saw your father, or the days we talked about your past. I could have set a clock by it by the end. And I could only figure... I knew the horrors you'd shared with me. What more was there that you hadn't?" A moment slid by in silence before she continued. "I couldn't let you relive that without comfort. Not when you were facing it to save me."
They lay in silence for a number of minutes, long enough that Emma presumed he'd drifted back to sleep. As her lids began to flutter closed, he spoke into the silence, softly enough that had they not been sharing an echoey alcove she never would have heard him. "Thank you," he said, barely a breath on a whisper. "For understanding."
As she returned to slumber, she wondered when she'd gotten to know him well enough that she was able realize without question that it was the most vulnerability he'd shown in centuries.
