Disclaimer:
Bobert: Guess what!?
Me: WHAT!?
Bobert: I got you Twilight for a present!!
Me: REALLY!!?!?!?
Bobert: No -laughs evilly-
Bella's Point Of View:
Because of our little shenanigans, we got detention. Edward was quite upset that I agreed and participated in this game. I kissed him on the lips and he said he forgives me just for that. My head was resting in the palm of my hand as I waited for detention to start. Emmett came running in and whispered in my ear as he sat down.
"A sub will be watching us today! This is gunna be good!!! Lets switch names and see how much trouble we can get each other into!" I laughed. It did seem like a pretty good idea so I nodded. The sub walked in and stood in front.
"Lauren?" Ha! Lauren had detention!
"Here."
"Jessica?"
"Here."
"Emmett?"
"Here," I said. The teacher looked over at me with wide eyes like she didn't believe me. "My parents are stupid. They gave me a dude's name. They were thinking about naming me Travis! How embarrassing would it be for my boyfriend to say, 'hey guys, this is my girlfriend Travis!' That would be terrible!" Emmett laughed.
"Okay then…. Isabella?"
"Here," Emmett said. She gave him a wide eyed look.
"My parents are from the 'south' so they named be Bella. Stupid pricks…. I'm going to have my name changed when I am older!!!"
"Um…okay…Now, quiet…Cause detention is starting." He sat at a desk in the far back that were for teachers. I stood up, about to put my plan into action.
"YOUR SO GAY AND YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE BOYS!!!!" I sang at him.
"Excuse me, Emmett? What did you just say?"
"Oh, I think you heard me perfectly well. Let me re-say it though. YOUR SO GAY AND YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE BOYS!!!"
"I'm writing you down and giving it to the principal," he said while scribbling something down.
"Eat my shorts!" I said, pulling down my pants showing my unicorn underwear and turned around so he could see. His eyes almost bugged out of his sockets.
"PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!" he yelled. I smirked, pulled them up, and sat down. Emmett stood up next.
"Don't mind Emmett. She's a prick as well! I saw her trying to hit on a tree! Then I saw her making out with it. It was pretty sexy….but that's off topic!"
I heard Lauren whisper to Jessica. "I knew she was a slut." That immediately got me mad. I mean, I am a virgin! I grabbed her shirt collar.
"LIKE TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD?" I growled in her face.
"YOU. ARE. A. SLUT." She took my dare. That just pushed my buttons. I took my arm back and punched her in the face. I let go of her collar as I did so she fell back. She also skimmed a desk as she fell down. I saw blood starting to come out of her nose. Emmett smiled and gave me a look that said I'll-be-fine.
"If I'm a slut, you're a fucking whore and a fucking prostitute. And, oh! Look at that sign on your face that says, 'I'm a huge faggot, please fuck my face.' Get a fucking life, you bitch." I sat down and she looked stunned. She, then, got up and ran out of the class. I had a huge smirk on my face. It was amusing but the sub didn't think so.
"SIT DOWN!" he yelled at me and I obeyed. Then a minute later, I turned to him.
"Hey, subby. What's your favorite color?"
"Blue, now be quiet, Emmett."
"Do you like Ghost Hunters?" I asked.
"I said be quiet." He seemed annoyed.
"Do you like ice cream."
"QUIET!"
"DO YOU LOVE ME!?!"
"TURN AROUND!"
"BASTARD!" I had to try not to laugh.
Emmett stood up. "DO YOU LOVE ME!?!" He seemed hopeful.
"Bella, sit down!" He said and Emmett did, surprising. Then Emmett leaned over when the teacher wasn't looking and whispered an idea in my ear. I laughed quietly and agreed so quickly it's hardly possible.
"I see you windin' and grindin' up on that pole. I know you see me looking' at you and you already know! I wanna fuck you!" I shouted fuck. "You already know! I wanna fuck you!" I shouted fuck again. "You already know!" The teacher flipped. He said if that we said something bad again, he would get the principal. I was surprised he didn't go get him at that moment.
"Oh, and FYI, usually your first idea's are always the worst," he warned us.
I raised my hand and said, "My first idea was a movie about how cool you are, sir." He muttered something about me and returned to his desk. Then I saw Emmett put white out on his hand and he went up to the teacher.
"I'm sorry sir, can I go wash my hands? I got a little horny…" I couldn't help but laughing.
"ISABELLA!"
"Oh shit. YOUR MAKING ME HORNY AGAIN YOU STUDMUFFIN!" He winked and walked back to his seat. The sub looked like he was dying.
After detention was done, Emmett drove me to an ice cream shop because I was starving of hunger. I was laughing so hard as I was trying to eat my ice cream. At times I would bust out saying Studmuffin and we'd laugh about it, loudly. Then I saw Mike Newton with a girl, they were on a date. I smirked and looked at Emmett. He grinned and nodded at me. I closed my eyes for a second, working up tears in my eyes and ran up to Mike, crying.
"MIKE! How could you do this to me? I…I thought we had something special….I…I loved you." Then Emmett put a hand on my shoulder and I hid my face in his chest, like I was really upset.
"DUDE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER!!!???"
"Who are you two?" the girl asked. She obviously wasn't from our school.
I took my face out of his chest and looked at the girl. "I'm his fiancé!" I yelled and the girl almost choked.
"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!???" She stood up and dumped her fudge sundae on his head and stormed out after she said she was sorry to me and hugged me gently. I smirked at Mike and he ran out after her. Emmett and I sat back down, laughing so hard. Emmett eyes shined and then he ran up to the person behind the counter in the store.
"OH MY GOD. I NEED YOUR HELP!"
"Yes?" the girl said.
"I LOST MY PET. HE IS A GRILLED CHEESE AND HE IS VERY AFRAID TO BE BY HIMSELF!" She gave him an odd look. "Fine, I will go find him myself. Bitch…"he muttered as he walked away. Then Emmett wanted to go to an ATM. We went into a mall to do it, plus, I didn't mind going to the mall….as long as it was without Alice. I'm evil…I know.
The money slipped out and there were people standing behind us. Then he grabbed the money and jumped up and down. "I WIN! I WIN! YESS! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK! High five me person!" he asked a random person behind us and he slowly gave him one. We passed the food court and he tugged me to a table. He jumped up on it and started doing the Peewee dance. You heard me. THE FRIKIN PEEWEE DANCE. I laughed and he pulled me up on a table next to him and we started dancing.
People looked at us and weird and we saw some rent-a-cops or something coming towards us and we ran away. Emmett slowly gave me a squirt gun and winked. I laughed and someone pasted by me. I took the gun out and squirted them right in the face. They looked at me crazily and ran away, freaked. Then I saw Santa Claus at the mall. I didn't even know it was close to December….weird.
I ran up to him, got in line, and then it was my turn to get a picture with him. "Ho, ho, ho. Happy Christmas. Sit on my lap!"
I shook my head. "Sit on my lap, Santa!!!" He gave me a strange look, got up, and I sat down then he sat down on my lap. I bounced my lap up and down. "Ho, ho, ho," I mocked his tone. "What would you like for Christmas little boy?"
"Uh…" he looked unsure.
"Oh! Smile for the camera!" I grinned and the flash took. Then I got up and Santa took his seat by me. I was laughing so hard once I got the picture. Once I got back, Emmett yelled.
"LOOK! I'M NAKED!" Many, many, MANY people turned around to look at him. "YOUR SICK! IF I WAS NAKED YOU'D BE LOOKING AT MY WEEWEE!!!!" He stormed off and I followed behind, laughing. Emmett spotted an elevator and we got inside. Emmett stood in front, by the buttons. Then other people stepped on. "Thank you for riding with us today. When the doors open again, you may exit. Please don't try to escape because then you will be shot. In the face. In the eye. And threw your brain. Now what level would we be going today?" At that second, they ran out of the elevator, leaving us laughing.
Emmett and I went back to the food court where a man was sitting alone. "Hey, want a lap dance?" Emmett asked him, wriggling his eyebrows. The guys eyes went wide and shook his head. "Damn it. How am I suppose to pay for that thong I just bought?" he said loudly and walked off.
