I thought to myself in that very moment that I had never felt more opposing emotions for another being in all my life, simplicity had fled from my life the minute that I had met the golden eyes of the Cullen family. But was worst was that I had cared for them, I had loved them.
Did I at times envy them? Yes, but that was before the rose colored glasses of romanticism were ripped off by the monster that stood in front of me.
Yet, there was a voice deep inside me that whispered his true name, not monster, but Jasper. My Jasper.
I understood and I in some ways empathized with him, I wanted him to gain his freedom. I was sure enough that if he had come to me and asked I would have laid down everything for him.
Jasper was much like the wind, a casual relentless force that could be as sweet as a gentle breeze on a sunny day or forceful and terrifying, uprooting everything in his path.
His plan was simple and yet the most implausible. In order to gain his freedom he would destroy the ones who were in the way or had the power to deny him, which meant he had to destroy the Volturi, and the Cullens.
He would use me to do it; I was nothing but a pawn in the elaborate games these immortals played.
I had hoped that Jasper and I were kindred souls, forced to sway with the heavy winds of life and circumstance but he had turned out to be much more sinister, I hated that he had hurt me worst then the Cullens, but this despicable man in front of me, held my interest in ways I could never explain.
So as I looked up into his expressionless face and dead eyes, I broke.
I had no way out, I was completely unsure of my future. I had no choice but to surrender.
Jasper felt the exact moment I had submitted, and tutted softly.
"Where did those soft expressions of trust and tender acceptance go nena?" he crooned softly, his expression filled with wicked humor.
I stood silently, my gaze silently tracing the hard edges of his eyes that betrayed him, he knew he broke me and that didn't sit well with him.
I could do nothing but give him a strained and unpleasant smile.
What a mess we were. Tangled and battered from the windswept chaos that Jasper had over his head like a personal slight from the devil himself.
A sick irony that the most destructive being I knew hungered for nothing more than peace, which he would most likely never know.
I was certain that even if Jasper attained his elusive serenity he wouldn't know what to do with it. He had struggled in strife and fire for so long it had imprinted in him in the worst of ways.
He was the very thing he hated.
He had subjugated me; left me bound and gagged, looming over me like a dark and triumphant King.
And still my heart stuttered as I looked at him. He was broken and yet even as his sharp edges cut me, I couldn't find it in myself to let him go.
Jasper could have my life. But I knew that I would take whatever that was left of his wretched heart as I left, and that filled me with nothing but bitter righteousness.
My eyes flickered to headless body on the floor and Jasper followed my gaze, "Are you going to do that to me too," I asked softly, "If I don't follow your every whim?"
Jasper huffed, "I won't be there to supervise during your basic training, so I won't do that, but I highly recommend you be on your best behavior."
"So what, you're just gonna dump me on someone else's lap after all this?" I snapped.
"Well you are fickle little thing, and you jumped from Edwards lap into mine quick enough," he said, "what's one more?"
"Well I guess I'll have to hope whoevers lap I land in next is warmer than yours."
Jasper became ridged, and his expression clouded. He had faltered and I had seen it, I was aching and I wanted him to hurt as I was.
"Anyone would have been better than you Jasper," I bit out. "And maybe when I find him, he won't rip out my heart and laugh while he does it."
Our eyes met and the unsaid words floated between us. Like you did.
Jasper closed his eyes. The bastard. He couldn't hide from me. "Come on Jasper, don't hide." I tutted. "Be exactly who I know you are."
Jasper still didn't move.
"You still have to throw Emmett's body into the fire, its ill-mannered to just let him lay there in agony and his venom is staining Esme's beautiful wood floor and that's just plain rude."
Jasper huffed out a laugh, "I also have to rip into that pretty little throat of yours till your blood runs dry and the only thing left in you is nothing but my venom."
"Well aren't you a busy boy." I sneered. "Which one would you like to start with first?"
"How about after we're done barbequing Emmett in the backyard, you and I get busy." He said, "We'll have to take off our clothes of course, blood is a bitch to get off clothes and this is my favorite outfit."
He laughed, "Or at least it will be, for this will be the outfit that I killed Isabella Marie Swan in."
He flashed me a brilliant smile. "Now doesn't that sound delectable?"
"Well I hope you savor it." I whispered, "That's the only part of me you'll ever have."
Jasper said nothing.
I turned to the kitchen counter where Emmett's head lay, blinking slowly, his mouth gaping open and shut like a fish out of water.
I picked up his head, cradling it in my arms.
Jasper stood staring, he had that look again. Like a man on fire.
And I couldn't help but smile this time.
