Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters, nor do I make any profit from this fanfic.

Warnings: Contains yaoi, sexual acts/situations, spoilers, possibly some violence, and some foul language. If you cannot handle that, then do not read.

Rated: M

Editor: LauraNeatO

Pairing: SasuNaru/NaruSasu

Summary: With 2 1/2 yrs and the defeat of Madara behind them, Naruto and Sasuke have been through much. But when Naruto is talked into dating Hinata, both he and Sasuke are forced to face an inner struggle they've avoided for years. Canonverse, SasuNaru, minor NaruHina.


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Chapter 12

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Sasuke stared absently at the wall across from him. A part of his mind could vaguely register the soft pattering of rain on the rooftop. It was the only sound audible within the confines of the otherwise silent formal room.

Situated on the floor, with his back pressed against the side of the wall, and a leg bent at the knee, Sasuke sat—motionless.

Still dressed in his dark pants, there was a slight, uncharacteristic slump to his shoulders, and the once furious-looking face had altered into a somber expression that had remained virtually unchanged for the past several hours. He didn't see anything in front of him, didn't even acknowledge the slight grumbling of his stomach, as he hadn't even had dinner. He couldn't garner an appetite when internally he was in an utter state of disarray.

He blinked dully. Anger, confusion, trepidation, and insurmountable, unnamable feelings that he hadn't realized existed had gradually settled into a sickening, sedentary state. He didn't comprehend—couldn't comprehend—what had transpired. He didn't even want to acknowledge the action by name.

How...

Sasuke found himself wondering that for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening. His brows furrowed a bit. No. That wasn't the right question, he realized.

Why?

The query echoed through his mind as piercingly as if it had been said aloud. He grudgingly acknowledged that he had committed some extreme acts in his lifetime, but nothing—absolutely nothing—could compare to this.

Sasuke's hands inadvertently clenched into fists. The overwhelming horror and humiliation that washed over him with that blatant reminder suddenly made his chest tighten again with an avalanche of conflicting emotions. The internal upheaval had been coming and going in uneven waves for the last several hours.

His face shifted slightly, the area where the underside of his jaw met his neck, feeling somewhat sticky. He ground his teeth, suddenly feeling the urge to immerse himself in a bath—the longest one possible. His skin was coated with a thin layer of dried sweat, and the lingering, foreign flavor in his mouth was something he could no longer tolerate. Perhaps the latter could be in his imagination at this point, he partially acknowledged, but he didn't care.

Stiffly rising to his feet, he ignored the minor aches he felt throughout his body, knowing well how they'd gotten there in the first place. Then, he suddenly froze. His weary eyes dully took in the sight before him. Some of the tatami mats had been nudged out of their places and were haphazardly strewn about the room. The mats themselves were covered with the imprint of sandal stains. The fragile vase now lay in numerous pieces where it had broken upon impact with the edges of the hard wood floor. A frame of a landscape painting that had been hanging in the corner was perilously hanging off one end, and the sword was still hanging where it had imbedded itself into the wall across from him. The whole room was in upheaval.

Then his eyes rested on the lone kunai that lay forgotten on the floor, a few feet away from him. A stream of moonlight from the nearby window hit it, causing the blade to glint almost mockingly at him. His eyes rose sharply. The overall visual only fueled to remind him that he wasn't the only one involved in this. The source of this chaos and the source of his inner turmoil all led to one person.

He heard the name in his head and clenched his teeth hard, his fists tightening further at his sides, as his prior sense of regret was inwardly thwarted by a strong burst of anger. He didn't want to look at the scene before him anymore. It only served to show him the evidence of an event that should not have happened in the first place.

With purposeful strides, he made his way to the bathroom, eyeing the clock in the living room on his way. It was five in the morning. He hadn't slept properly, hadn't eaten, and his first solo ANBU mission was that very morning.

Shutting the bathroom door behind him with more force than he'd intended, Sasuke walked into the pristine area and flipped the light switch. He blinked repeatedly, his face scrunching as he let his eyes adapt to the bright light overhead. It took a little longer than normal, a brief stinging sensation ensuing. Once his eyes adjusted, Sasuke was then faced with his own reflection in the mirror. The image was not satisfactory.

His intense gaze took in the sight of his somewhat disheveled hair, the inky strands looking more unruly than usual. A bright, red bruise had formed on the left side of his face, below his cheekbone. A smaller one was located on his jaw, near his mouth, on his right. Both contusions ached a little, but they were nothing he couldn't handle. Looking at himself, there was no denying that he'd been in a scuffle, and somehow, he would have to hide the evidence, or risk others finding out. The last thing he needed was for anyone else to butt into his business.

He raised his hand, his fingertips slowly tracing alongside the bruise on his cheek for a moment, before dropping again. He kept staring. However, he was no longer really looking at the few discolored areas on his face. It was almost as if he expected the face looking back at him to be someone else's. As if that face—his face—couldn't have been the one that belonged to the individual who'd engaged in the ill-fated incident that had occurred last night.

He suddenly looked down at his own mouth, his lips tinged in their normal pale, pink hue. Hours earlier, they had felt swollen, practically tingling with sensation. Although now the proof of that was no longer visible, it didn't matter to him. He knew what he'd done with that mouth.

He abruptly turned away from his reflection with a fierce sneer, flicking the light switch down. He didn't need the lights on, anyway. He was quite used to taking showers with the lights off when coming home late from certain missions. He quickly jerked his clothing off, not even bothering to fold them properly, as he wanted nothing more but to get around to the business of washing himself. Shoving aside the sliding door, he stepped into the shower. A bare, elegant window was built into the wall next to him, bathing him in a muted stream of moonlight. Closing the door behind him, he ignored the cool feel of the tiled floor beneath his feet, and nimbly turned the finely polished shower knobs.

Strong jets of water began to rain down on his nude form from the wide showerhead above him. He endured the initial onslaught of the cool water, tensing until the water gradually warmed. Without further delay, he grabbed the bar of soap from its built-in stand and briskly began scrubbing at his chest, neck, and face, taking extra care around the more tender areas.

As he did this, Sasuke shut his eyes, fighting furiously to avoid thinking about last night's events, but it proved to be futile. Clipped sequences of those illicit minutes with him flashed beneath the Uchiha's closed lids. Vivid images of hooded eyes, a gasping mouth, and moist lips unwillingly began assaulting his mind with a vengeance.

In reaction, Sasuke fiercely scoured the length of his body with the soap, his hands steadily speeding up. If he saw him, he would wring his neck, Sasuke decided. No. He would kill him.

Except you had a hand in it too, didn't you?

Sasuke's hand stilled when he heard the treacherous inner voice speak up.

You liked it.

His eyes clouding with near-savage fury, Sasuke's hand suddenly shot out, the side of his soapy fist slamming against the slick, tiled wall. His fingers curled tightly against the soap bar, marking it with thin indentations. He closed his eyes, his chest heaving with the sharp breaths he was taking.

He was a man, dammit, and a virile one, at that. Even though he habitually showed disinterest, he knew he could have any woman in the world. Hell, he'd been envied for that fact countless times over, in the past. He could hardly claim that it served to be a source of pride for him personally, but when thinking as an Uchiha clan member, the reverence made sense. So why the hell had he allowed this to happen?

What would his parents have thought of this?

The crucial thought suddenly had his eyes opening. The fury that was there before, however, was suddenly replaced by a somber countenance. Disappointment and shame was no doubt what they would have felt, undoubtedly by his father. Had they been alive... Sasuke didn't think he would've had the backbone to face them. As for his brother...

He shook his head slightly, closing his eyes once more, and turning his body so that he could lean his forehead against the cold tile. He didn't even want to think about it. At that moment, the weight of the situation seemed heavy upon his shoulders, as he stood there, numb, with the water beating heavily upon his bare back.

By the time Sasuke left the shower several minutes later, he had managed to compose himself once more. He mechanically dried himself, dressed in his gear, and stopped by the kitchen where he forced himself to eat a rice ball. Despite his lack of appetite, he knew it was foolish to abstain from receiving the necessary energy he would need for his journey.

Preparing for a mission always managed to ease him into closing himself off emotionally, which he more than wholeheartedly embraced at the moment. He needed the distance and was fiercely pleased to have the opportunity to have something to take his mind off his internal conflict.

Grabbing his mask, he headed towards the front door. Before opening it, he brought his hands together and formed a henge of himself, unwilling to run the risk of anyone inquiring about the few bruises on his face, should anyone see them. He didn't have to look at the finished creation to know it would be flawless. Putting his mask on, jaw set, he then opened the door, firmly closing it behind him.

He was ready to report to duty, and today, his anger would readily fuel him.


Later that morning, a loud, unceremonious thump on a desk suddenly startled a certain blond nin out of a daytime reverie.

"Naruto! Stop slacking off," Tsunade warned tersely, watching as the younger male nearly jumped in his seat before hastily glancing at the book she'd slammed on his desk. Having installed a desk next to hers weeks earlier, the elder female had put the hokage-to-be to work since eight that morning.

Contrite blue yes met golden ones. "Oh, heh. Sorry, Baa-chan," Naruto replied, offering a weak chuckle. He hadn't even realized that he'd stopped writing—an occurrence that had already happened a few times that morning.

The flaxen-haired Hokage gave a grunt of censure. "We've only been here for three and a half hours. I would've expected your capacity to focus to last longer than this, Naruto," she admonished, picking up her pen.

Naruto forced a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Eh, yeah, I... um, sorry," he offered lamely, with a rub of his head. Paper work was never his favorite task, but even so, he was normally able to get it done in a timely fashion when he wasn't distracted. Unfortunately, today he was more distracted than he had ever been in his life, and he was failing miserably at trying to hide it.

Scrutinizing, golden eyes watched as the other haphazardly began to shuffle around the stack of papers that were in front of him. Dressed in his usual jōnin gear, she observed that the Uzumaki nin, frankly, looked tired. Knowing Naruto as well as she did, it was apparent to Tsunade that the other's characteristically energetic behavior was considerably lacking today.

She huffed to herself, unable to help but feel slightly concerned. She didn't think she was running him ragged... or was she? Suddenly, she smirked as it hit her. She knew what was wrong with the kid. Eyeing him a moment longer, she picked up her pen, clearing her throat, as she returned her gaze to the pile of papers in front of her. "The lack of ramen in your diet eating away at you, Naruto?" she said, in a mildly amused tone.

Not following, Naruto's face scrunched up. "Ramen?"

Tsunade shot him a cursory glance, noting the confused look on his face. She sighed, scribbling her signature on the first paper in front of her. "What I'm saying is that you needn't look so glum, brat. Your punishment for pulling that prank on Sasuke was deserved," she said, missing the wince the other ninja gave.

That name. Naruto shoulders slumped as the unpleasant churning that had been present in his gut returned with full force. That name had been resounding in and around his mind all of last night and all of that morning. The mere mention of it sent a sharp pang to the center of his chest, which steadily pained him with the burden of the seemingly impossible situation that rested on his shoulders.

Nineteen years old and you're still pulling pranks?

Naruto could still recall the mildly annoyed words Sasuke had told him that day, the ever-present smirk gracing his face.

With great effort, he forced his mouth to work. "Oh. Yeah... I know," was the mumbled reply, as he gripped his pen tightly in his hand.

"What I told you was for your own good, of course. You can't make a habit of playing these pranks on your subordinates as the leader in command, Naruto," she found herself saying, despite the fact that she'd already chewed him out over the issue. "That isn't to say that you can't maintain certain... hobbies in moderation," she then added cautiously, as she grudgingly thought of her own vices. She cleared her throat, suddenly smirking as she signed another paper. "Regardless, I suppose that the look on Uchiha's face must have been quite spectacular."

After a long moment, Tsunade realized that she was being met with silence. Knowing that normally Naruto would have fired back with a flippant comment, she looked at him again. The younger man's broad shoulders were hunched, and his face was drawn. Furthermore, the usually bright eyes had a far-away look to them that was... depressing. She had seen that look on him only a few, rare times in her life. Concerned once more, she swiveled the chair towards him, her bangs swinging against her face with the action. "Naruto."

Snapping out of his trance-like state, he sharply looked up at the sound of his name. "Yeah?" he replied immediately. As if instantly realizing that he hadn't been listening—and had been caught doing so—he quickly gave a tight chuckle and a rub of his head. "Err..."

Tsunade scowled. However, before she could follow up, a knock sounded at the door. She huffed in annoyance. "Come in," she ordered tersely.

The door opened quietly, revealing none other than Shizune. Approaching the Hokage's desk, the dark-haired kunoichi smiled in greeting before handing Tsunade a scroll. "We've received a new message from Suna, Tsunade-sama."

The hokage grunted, taking the scroll. "Thank you, Shizune." As she left, Tsunade promptly opened the parchment and quickly scanned its contents. "A message from the Kazekage," she murmured, tapping a finger against the desk.

The mentioning of the former jinchūriki managed to catch Naruto's attention. "Gaara?" he murmured in question.

Noting that the other suddenly seemed more alert than he'd been all morning, Tsunade folded the scroll once more before leaning forward, linking her fingers in front of her. "Yes. It was only an update on the status of Suna. The allied countries have been communicating back and forth for the last few days. I had informed you that the water levels had gradually been increasing due to the rain, but while our landscape can endure it, other countries are having a bit more of a difficult time."

"And is everything okay with Suna? Does Gaara need help?" Naruto asked, worry inevitably creeping into his voice.

Tsunade nodded. "They've made the most of the state of affairs and no incidents have occurred. All the hidden villages are handling the situation well, considering. Some smaller villages in other regions haven't fared so well." She swiveled her chair towards him, leaning back as she folded her arms.

She then sent Naruto a pointed look. "At dawn, I sent Team 8 out, along with another special unit, on a pressing mission. A river overflowed near a town by the southern shore of the country, and we were expressly summoned by the daimyō for tracking units. A considerable amount of livestock escaped from their enclosures and some citizens have to be accounted for."

"Ho—" Naruto abruptly stopped. It'd been on the tip of his tongue to offer help until he realized which team Tsunade had mentioned.

Hinata.

The other person whom he had thought about on and off for the majority of the night. Naruto couldn't even imagine working side by side with her right now, not after what he'd done last night, he realized with near-sickening guilt. He simply wasn't ready to face her right now.

Tsunade suddenly smiled at him. "I'm sure Hinata and the others will be able to handle it. They are equipped for it."

Naruto blinked, unable to help but lower his gaze as his guilt doubled. "Yeah. I know," he managed, dully. He faced forward again, grabbing the papers in front of him.

Coward, he suddenly heard his inner voice say. Yes. That's exactly what he felt like now—a coward who couldn't face his own girlfriend. The girlfriend who most likely wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore if he revealed to her the mishap that had occurred last night. God, how was he going to be able to handle this, he thought miserably to himself. His brows pinched together, briefly betraying the emotional torture he was undergoing, before easing somewhat. He then mentally shook himself before proceeding to shuffle the papers around some more.

Tsunade frowned, watching as the other seemed to struggle to focus. Now he looks pathetic, she thought with consternation. Whatever the issue was, she was willing to bet that it concerned Hinata, judging by his reaction after mentioning her. She wasn't one to pry into her subordinates' love lives, but as this was Naruto, she couldn't help but worry where he was concerned. Such is my luck, she thought with a grimace. She uncrossed her arms.

"Naruto."

The blond shinobi, hearing his name, looked at her. "Yeah?" Observing the probing look on the woman's face, he swallowed, suddenly feeling a sense of rising panic. Please don't ask, please don't ask, Naruto thought fervently, as he held her gaze. He wasn't ready to be directly evasive on that situation, or worse—lying.

Something in his expression must have made the hokage aware of his reluctance to talk, because, instead, Tsunade leaned back and sighed, crossing her arms once more. Her eyes closed briefly before reopening—her gaze resolute. "Get out of here."

Naruto blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Take the rest of the day off, Naruto. You're clearly not doing well today and you're useless to me in this state. Take the rest of the day off and get a good night's rest. I want you back here tomorrow, rested, and ready to work. No excuses. Is that understood?"

"But—"

"That was an order, Naruto," she stated with finality, her jaw set.

Realizing that she was serious, Naruto sighed before nodding, rising from his seat. He was somewhat disappointed in himself, because he should be able to better control his emotions in his position, but the relief he felt quickly overrode it. He desperately needed time to sort things out and he was being offered just that.

He let out a breath before tentatively rising. Midway to the door, he abruptly stopped. "Thanks, Baa-chan," he said, giving her one last appreciative look before he departed.

Tsunade let out a sigh after the door closed, her shoulders losing their rigidity. Feel better, Naruto.


Naruto walked down one of the many avenues of the village, his hands scarcely swinging at his sides. The sun was currently making a much-welcomed appearance again, and people milled around, going about their daily business.

The wind shifted the strands of his hair—the ends of his bangs hanging over his hitai'ate were brushing softly against his upper cheeks. However, his usually peaceful expression was marred with faint pensiveness. Tsunade had ordered him to rest, but if she'd only known the situation he was dealing with, she would realize why that was not possible. Last night, he'd lain awake in bed for hours, unable to sleep, as his mind rolled with turmoil in the aftermath of what happened. Remorse, embarrassment, and disappointment were emotions that had assailed him all throughout, virtually making him ill. Breakfast had been a forced affair, rather than the satisfying occasion it usually was for him.

He should be angry—and rightfully so. Sasuke was the one who had initiated the argument to begin with. However, Naruto found that he couldn't be angry—not wholeheartedly. Instead, he was afraid. What happened last night had stemmed from something deeper—something that, in thinking back on it, had been brewing within Sasuke, and probably within himself for some time. Sasuke had been so angry.

That's an understatement, Naruto thought ruefully to himself. He'd been pissed the fuck off.

But pissed off to the point that he'd kiss me, Naruto wondered in bewilderment. The thought of it made his face warm up, his eyes momentarily closing as if to ease the sudden burn the memory ignited within him. He'd tried his hardest not to think about it—not to think of that often-unforgiving mouth on his, inexplicably luring him into responding in a way he hadn't thought possible.

Uncomfortable with where his thoughts were going while in broad daylight, he shook his head. It's best if he didn't dwell on that aspect of the situation for now, even though he was still wondering why he'd given in, in the first place. He could've beaten the shit out of Sasuke for that act, if he'd wanted to, after all. But he hadn't, and he didn't have an answer as to why, just yet.

So now the question was, what should he do now?

With Hinata away, that left him with only one recourse: he had to confront Sasuke. He had no idea what was going on through his friend's mind at this moment, and the more time passed, the more Naruto wondered what mind frame Sasuke was in that had helped propel them into the state they were in now. He tried, really tried, to understand the situation from Sasuke's point of view, but he kept falling short. He couldn't comprehend Sasuke's irrational anger towards Hinata. She'd never done a thing to him. They'd rarely ever seen each other, even before Naruto had started dating her. The only thing he knew for sure was that after he'd started going out with her, Sasuke's demeanor had changed. It was almost as if Sasuke...

No, Naruto thought, with a shake of his head. The mere suggestion seemed silly, and if he told Sasuke that, the other would probably punch his lights out before he could finish his sentence. Sasuke was typically a direct person, and if what he'd said last night had been true, then he simply didn't like Hinata, even though he barely knew her. Naruto knew Sasuke had lofty ideas of what made a good shinobi. He viewed very few people as his equal, and the only person he'd ever acknowledged aloud as one was Naruto, himself. Sasuke was exactly the type of person who could base one's worth on his or her ability, if he chose to, Naruto realized grimly. Either way, for whatever reason, the Uchiha nin didn't want to acknowledge Hinata or her presence in his life, which put Naruto in the middle. At this point, though, it might not even matter, since he probably wouldn't have a girlfriend by the time everything was resolved, he thought with a grimace. Somehow, though, that didn't bother him nearly as much as the fact thought that Sasuke might cut him off, now.

As long as she is in your life in this way, we will never be as we were.

Naruto vividly recalled the harsh words the other had told him. It had been said with such unflinching intent that Naruto didn't know what to make of it. He scratched at his head while aimlessly continuing to walk.

Was it because Sasuke feared he would change?

Dammit! He yanked at his hair in frustration before dropping his couldn't be put off any longer. Before he knew what he was doing, Naruto ran in the direction of Sasuke's house, weaving past passersby, finding that he was only a block away from it. It was as if his subconscious knew what to do before he did.

Only a minute later, all was silent as Naruto tentatively approached Sasuke's door. He swallowed, his palms suddenly sweaty. He didn't know what he would tell Sasuke, and he was exceedingly apprehensive, to say the least. His need to set things right with Sasuke, though, was able to supersede those feelings. Yes, he was angry that Sasuke was being so unreasonable, but, more than anything, he wanted to help him. He needed to know what he could do to make everything okay. As long as things got resolved, he would even willingly overlook the... thing that happened between them.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto knocked on the polished, wooden door.

After getting no answer, he repeated the action, his anticipation building. He waited several more seconds. Still, no answer. Naruto grew somewhat concerned, his brow creasing. Sasuke wouldn't be avoiding him... right? He put his ear to the door, hearing no activity within the house and the nearby windows were covered by curtains. After knocking one last time, Naruto grew impatient.

Putting his hands together, he switched into Sage Mode. Feeling all of nature's energy coming to him, Naruto focused. In an instant, he able to detect no chakra presence from within the house, and Sasuke's presence was nowhere nearby.

Damn. His Sage Mode dissipating, Naruto began to worry. Was it possible that... Sasuke left the village after what happened? The thought sent a sharp wave of anxiety through him. He didn't think Sasuke would ever leave again, but after last night...

He had to find out now.

Without further hesitation, Naruto managed to break into the other's home, using the side window. Breaking and entering was a crime, but when it came to ninja business, it was done occasionally. Hell, Sasuke was a ninja, and he had business with him. It would do in his book.

Naruto promptly made his way through the house. At first glace, everything seemed normal. He opened the door to Sasuke's room, seeing that everything was in meticulous order, as it undoubtedly always was. He then made his way towards the rear of the house and stopped short.

His eyes took in the broken vase, the footprints, and the disorder within the otherwise normally pristine room. It was as if Sasuke had simply left the area without a second thought, and knowing the Uchiha as he did, Naruto knew he would've cleaned it as soon as possible. Sasuke was particularly picky about cleanliness.

Damn. Naruto's fists clenched, his expression torn as he fought off the vivid memories the room brought back. He quickly redirected his mind to focus on the scene before him, sudden panic grabbing hold of him.

He isn't here. Without warning, memories of what happened the last time Sasuke left assailed him. A traumatic series of incidents had prompted Sasuke to make that fateful decision, and what happened last night was certainly enough to unsettle anyone, but especially someone with a history like Sasuke's.

Fuck! They'd fucked up really badly.

Naruto instantly turned back, leaving how he entered. He briskly ran down the street, his heart thumping loudly in his chest, determined to find someone who might have an idea as to where Sasuke was. He reminded himself that he couldn't divulge the reason why he needed to find Sasuke. However, that was a meager issue. As long as he was pointed in the right direction, that was all that mattered at the moment. The thought that Sasuke would run away to escape from him made his chest tighten unbearably so, but it also fueled him to take action.

If I lose Sasuke now...

It was as he was about to turn a corner that he saw a familiar figure heading down the semi-empty street. "Sai!"

"Hello, Naruto-kun," Sai said, as Naruto approached him. The nin, dressed in his ANBU regalia, had a bag of paint supplies in one arm. With that being the case, Naruto assumed that the other had recently come off duty.

Naruto stopped just short of him, reminding himself not to seem as desperate as he felt. "Hey, Sai. What are you up to?" he greeted hastily.

"I just left the art supplies store. I'm going home now to finish a piece I started last night," he calmly replied, his enigmatic, dark eyes studying him. "And you, Naruto-kun? I was under the impression that you would be with the Hokage-sama."

"She, uh, gave me a bit of a mission to do." Well, at least it was technically the truth, he thought with some alleviation.

"I see. Do you need any—" Sai abruptly stopped. His free hand rose, his fingers touching his mouth, as if in contemplation, while his eyes curiously studied Naruto's face.

Feeling self-conscious and a bit panicked at the scrutiny, Naruto reflexively scratched the side of his head. "Uh... what's wrong?"

Sad nin's brows furrowed, his fingers cupping his chin now. "I'm only wondering why you look... as if..."

"As if what?" Naruto persisted warily.

"As if you needed to pee," Sai replied with utter seriousness.

Blue eyes bulged. "What!"

"You have an interesting expression. Something akin to impatience, anxiousness, and vague confusion," he said with an affirmative nod. "Something you have exhibited before when you've wanted to relieve yourself on prior occasions."

Crap, Naruto thought. Although Sai wasn't quite accurate, he was halfway there to figuring it out. Naruto had reminded himself not to say anything revealing, but that hadn't account for outwardly visible signs. "Sai, you idiot! I'm fine, okay? Just, look, by any chance, have you seen Sasuke around?"

Sai blinked. "Sasuke? Your mission is to find Sasuke?"

Naruto growled in annoyance. "No. I just want to talk to him."

"I see. I believe Sasuke is on a surveillance mission, if I recall correctly. He reported in this morning. I don't know anything more than that."

The relief that flooded Naruto in that instant was enough to make him weak in the knees. Thank god, he thought, putting a hand to his abdomen. Feeling infinitely better, he nodded. "I see. Thanks, Sai."

The other nin nodded.

A moment later, Naruto looked at him in surprise when he felt the other's hand on his shoulder, a look of concentration gracing his fair features. "If I may recommend something, Naruto-kun." He then pointed towards his bag of art supplies. "You should consider drawing or painting. It is an effective way to express one's feelings when they are feeling conflicting emotions. It has helped me immensely."

"Um..." Acknowledging that the other was trying to be helpful, Naruto felt a bit touched. However, he was also unsettled by the fact that the other knew something was awry with him. "I—"

A handful of blank drawing papers were suddenly shoved in his face. "Here. Try it out."

Observing the encouraging smile on the older nin's face, Naruto sighed, a small smile forming on his own face. "Thanks, Sai."

A minute later, Naruto took his leave, clutching the paper in one hand, as he headed home. He would have to hang on until Sasuke returned, but at least he knew he would return. That knowledge alone gave him hope that he would at least have a chance to rectify the situation with his friend.

No, he had to rectify it,he , for now, all he could do was the one thing he'd never excelled particularly well at doing.

Wait.


Sasuke swiftly darted through the trees. He was currently in the northern forest of the country, having just completed the mission that had taken him several hours away, to the northeast border. Consisting mostly of surveillance and interrogation, it had only taken around four hours to get that portion of it done, but the numerous formalities that he'd had to follow up with, in dealing with nobles, had proven to be annoying.

Now that it was around four in the afternoon, Sasuke was unable to fight the hunger pangs any longer. He'd forgone eating anything for lunch, since he'd been too busy with his mission. Therefore, he'd decided to head to the nearest town for some much-needed sustenance, which, much to his disgruntlement, was Shukuba-machi—the pleasure district. He'd already henged into black, nondescript clothing for the occasion, his mask secured within a scroll in his side-pack. He didn't wish to attract attention once he arrived in Shukuba.

He deftly continued to hop from one branch to another.

Now that he was travelling back home with the objective completed, he had the misfortune of having an excessive amount of time to think. For the brief hours he'd been at work, his mind had been preoccupied with the activities at hand. Now, however, his mind was starting to betray him, managing to do the one thing he swore he would not do—think about last night.

Sasuke's fists tightened where they drifted at his sides.

He was still so very angry, and the fact that he would be returning to the conflict that he'd all too readily left earlier that day, did not put him in a better mood. He would have to deal with Naruto and the whole mess he so vehemently wished had never happened. When he returned, the very first thing he planned to do was—

His senses abruptly tingling, Sasuke swiftly dodged, the distinct sensation of something whizzing terribly close—past his own face—evident. Flipping, he nimbly landed on a tree-branch, his body coursing with adrenaline. Pissed off at being taken by surprise in such a basic way, his gaze snapped downwards where he spotted a burly, yet nimble, male ninja whose face was covered with a clothed mask. He wore plain, brown shinobi clothing, and carried a sack at his side, his hands filled with kunai.

The man chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt ya too bad. I just want your money."

Sasuke glared. A bandit. He'd almost been ambushed by a fucking bandit.

On reflex, Sasuke activated his Sharingan—knowing that the mere sight of them had the power to send fodder nin scrambling—only for the act to send a dull ache shooting towards the center of his eye. Dammit, he thought furiously, nimbly evading the flurry of kunai that came his way, the sound of them embedding into the tree, loud. It was already the second time he'd forgone the Hokage's instructions to avoid using his bloodline limit.

"Still not gonna come down, huh?" The man taunted with a chuckle. "Okay, don't say I didn't warn you, punk. I take down C-rate nin like you all the time!"

Sasuke felt his patience snap. Fuck this. He was an elite ninja who'd fought against the worst enemies that had ever existed in the world. He could dispose of this fool without his bloodline limit. Concentrating chakra to his feet, Sasuke bounced off the tree branch, landing sideways on the trunk of the tree opposite of it. Just as he expected, the bandit intercepted him, a kunai in hand.

The thief smiled as the kunai pierced Sasuke's chest. However, he quickly blinked in surprise when the body combusted into smoke. "What the—"

Sasuke suddenly appeared behind the man, unleashing the strength of his chakra to unmistakably threatening levels. He watched as the man swung around, taking pleasure in the horrified eyes and stunned expression as the bandit realized what level ninja he just picked a fight with.

He would make this asshole regret today, he thought with a deadly glower.


Shukuba-machi was lively with activity, with people milling around the numerous casinos, bars, and restaurants. The streets were lined with unconventional shops and numerous stands whose vendors shouted enthusiastically for passersby to try out their games and products. Even more evident, however, were the numerous love-hotels and brothels that practically littered the place. Its notorious employees lackadaisically commiserated near the entrances in flimsy clothing, idly conversing or enticing potential clients.

Several of these women made a few catcalls towards the handsome new arrival that went stalking past them down the street. However, they underwent disappointment as he paid them absolutely no mind. If they'd approached him, they would've realized instantly that Sasuke was in no mood to tolerate anything or anyone at the moment.

With a less-than-friendly look on his face, most of the people who were walking the opposite way, towards him, carefully avoided his path. And they'd better fucking well do so, he thought furiously. He was intent on finding a decent food stand so that he could eat and get the hell out of here as quickly as possible.

After beating the unfortunate thief senseless, he'd hogtied the unconscious bastard to a specially trained hawk summon who had then flown off to deliver the poor bastard to the village's district official's office where they kept records of lawbreakers. Judging by the considerable sack of expensive goods he'd had in his possession, there was bound to be a warrant on the guy. If Sasuke hadn't been so incensed, he would've delivered the fool personally.

Settling on a soba noodle stand alongside the street, Sasuke sat down on one of the empty stools near the corner, where he was promptly attended to by a middle-aged cook. In a clipped tone, he ordered a serving of sesame soba noodles and a cup of tea. As the cook turned to see to his meal, Sasuke braced his elbows on the counter and rested his face in folded hands.

He drowned out the sounds of music, laughter, and people talking. He'd sunk to a new, unbelievable low in nearly being taken out by some common thief, and to add insult to injury, his own body seemed to be turning on him, with his eyes refusing to cooperate with him. Tsunade had warned him, and yet again, he'd forgotten, not only trying to use it today, but last night, as well.

Last... night.

Once again, the memories flooded back into his mind. Lowering his face, his brows pinched as he fought back the tumultuous emotions.

A thud suddenly sounded, and Sasuke straightened as the cook placed his meal of soba noodles and tea in front of him. After tearing open a package of chopsticks, he began attacking the noodles with more force than he intended, nearly breaking them in half. Somehow, someone needed to account for the rage he felt, he kept thinking, as he mechanically chewed his food. With every bite he took, he mentally fought to rid his mind of the flashing images and sensations from last night. First, the fury, the angry blue eyes, the yelling, and the grappling. Then, the desperate frustration, the sudden craving, and the unforgettable look of startled blue eyes.

His breath inadvertently hitched as he absently took another forceful bite. Finally, there were the vivid feel of lips, the inexplicable urge for more, and the welcoming feel of a very familiar body against his—all before the dread seeped in.

A sharp pain suddenly blossomed in his mouth, and Sasuke realized that he'd accidentally bitten the inside of his cheek. Now that that had brought him back into awareness, he also realized, with a considerable degree of mortification, that his body tingled in a pleasant way that had undoubtedly been a result of the detour his thoughts had taken.

Fuck. Disgusted with himself, what remained of his appetite left him. He set his chopsticks down and took a small sip of tea to wash the taste of iron out of his mouth. He then demanded the bill. As the chef headed off to take care of that, a conversation at his right side, suddenly caught Sasuke's attention.

"Oh! You have the card set from this year's Chūnin Exams? " said a young male.

"Hell yeah! My uncle went there and gave the set to me for my birthday the other day," replied another. "Check this out."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw that there were two adolescent boys, no older than fourteen, standing by the counter, a little more than an elbow's length away from him. The apparent owner of the cards was a bit shorter than the other, but both were dark-haired and dressed in civilian clothing.

The shorter kid had apparently reached into his pocket and pulled out the stack of cards. He held them up, spreading them so that his friend could see. "See! It's the limited edition pack, too."

"Wow!" said the older one. "Whoa, wait, it has the autographs, too? All the Konoha nins are signed!"

Sasuke continued to listen intently, even as the cook returned to drop the bill in front of him.

"Yeah! And check this out, Hino." The kid reached into the deck and pulled out one specific card. "It also came with an Uzumaki Naruto card in a Hokage cloak and everything! And my uncle even got him to sign it, too!"

Immediately, Sasuke's eyes darted toward the aforementioned card, which was now in the hands of the taller kid. As the boy turned it around to gawk at the back of it, there, in all its holographic glory, was the image of the man, whose mere name was able to set his fury afire—the very image that was on the card the other had used to prank him.

Sasuke felt as if his insides could boil in that instant. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to escape that fucking idiot!

"Wow, Koiji! How much do you think you can get for this card? It's gotta be worth something, especially with the signature on it!" the taller kid stated, holding onto the card as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

"Hmm. I don't know." The shorter kid took the card back, eyeing it. "I should ask, though." He suddenly glanced around, catching Sasuke's gaze on them.

"Hey, excuse me, sir. Can I ask you something?" the dimpled kid asked him, smiling brightly. "Do you think this collector's card is worth a good amount?"

Sasuke stiffened as the kid held the card up to his face, giving him a close look of the painted face that he wanted nothing more than to punch. Knowing that he might say or do something he'd regret later, he clenched his jaw, turning. He deftly dug into his pocket, slamming down a more-than-adequate amount of money to cover the food. Then, rising, he shoved his hands into his pockets before briskly walking away, hearing a vague, "Man, what's wrong with him," as he did.

Hearing the jibe before he was out of earshot, Sasuke, with lightning-quick speed, reached into his side-pack, and turned, throwing a kunai with forceful accuracy into the stand's wooden beam support located right between the boys' heads. It instantly made the youths freeze in shock, both staring at each other for a few bewildered seconds, before hesitantly looking at kunai, and then at Sasuke.

Knowing he'd made his point, Sasuke turned again.

"Woah... wait! Was that—"

"He looks just like…"

Hands quickly shuffled through the deck of cards, where eyes landed on an unsigned card with a familiar face on it. Both pairs of eyes locked, widening with realization.

"Uchiha Sasuke!" they both said in unison.

By the time they glanced back, however, Sasuke was already gone.

As the boys continued to launch into hysterics over who'd they unknowingly encountered, a pair of keen eyes observed them from nearby. Having watched the prior interaction with great interest, the stranger's intrigue was undeniably aroused.

She slowly smirked.


This was getting fucking ridiculous. Some celestial being was surely laughing at him, Sasuke thought furiously, as he made a right turn. He proceeded to walk down one of the district's many side streets, which appeared to be one of the quieter areas, lined mainly with hotels.

He was completely at odds with himself now. On the one hand, every logical cell in his brain told him that what happened yesterday was wrong on a level of epic proportions. Yet, on the other hand, every time he remembered what he'd experienced in that fateful encounter, some integral function of his body seemed to betray him. He wasn't supposed to allow desires of that nature to overrule his common sense. The fact that he could even perhaps acknowledge it as a sort of biological need shook him to the core. Especially considering that he had yet to feel such a way towards a woman.

Well, that can fucking change, he thought fiercely. He had always been in control of himself, of his desires, and of his destiny.

A destiny Naruto helped shape, said the treacherous voice in his head.

His brow creased as his hands tightened unbearably in his pockets. Spotting a bench near a tree in a quiet area of the street, Sasuke headed towards it. On the way, however, something caught his attention. It wasn't until a few more paces later that Sasuke became impatient.

"How much longer are you going to keep following me?" he suddenly said aloud, not bothering to keep the irritation from his voice.

A chuckle sounded nearby. "You're good," said a feminine voice.

Sasuke turned at that. He was momentarily surprised to find a woman leaning against the corner of a wall, only a short distance away from him. She had pale features and long, shiny, black hair that mostly rested over one shoulder. Dressed in a vibrant, blue yukata, she uncrossed her arms with a smile.

Sasuke remained impassive, but alert, always wary of new company.

Suddenly, in a blink of an eye, the woman disappeared only to reappear from behind him, much to Sasuke's surprise. Sasuke nimbly turned around to find the girl standing in front of him, her arms casually crossed over her chest. A refined hand suddenly emerged from the folded limbs, holding out a familiar-looking card.

She smiled, displaying even, pearly-white teeth that lit up a pretty, delicately featured face. "Might I have your autograph, Uchiha-san," she said in a playful tone, her voice mellow with maturity. Sasuke was sure, however, that she probably wasn't older than he was.

His eyes honed in on the card. It was the Chūnin Exam card that featured him on it. His eyes narrowed, catching her gaze. "You shouldn't take things that aren't yours."

"Even if it's for a good purpose?" she replied smartly. She had cat-like gray eyes that were fringed with thick lashes.

"There's no point in trying to justify pick-pocketing. It's a petty act to commit. You should return that card," he replied austerely. Whoever this woman was, although not particularly powerful, she was clever, and that could be a dangerous quality in itself. However, he couldn't seem to sense evil purpose from her. Admittedly, despite his exasperation, he was vaguely curious as to what her intentions were.

"Ah, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Wouldn't you do anything you could to meet the person of your interest?"

He lifted a brow, crossing his arms. "Who are you, and what business would you have with me?" he snapped.

She smiled. It was a slow, languid smile. "No one you've met before, and it depends." She suddenly reached for the lapel of her yukata, opening it just enough to reveal the slightest hint of cleavage. She remained smiling, watching him watch her as she slipped the card into her breast area, before securing the cloth once more. "And don't worry, I'm no shinobi. Just a girl who has learned a few things to get by in life. We've never encountered each other before, Uchiha-san, but if you would like... I can make this a pleasant encounter—if you'll let me."

Sasuke stared coolly at the woman in front of him. The innuendo wasn't lost on him. It was hardly the first time he'd had sexual advances made towards him. "I don't involve myself with prostitutes."

She raised a delicate brow, before smiling a bit, chuckling ever so slightly. She approached him carefully until she was just a hairs-breath away from him. "If you weren't who you are, I would take offense to that, you know. Not every woman who approaches a man is a prostitute, Uchiha-san, so I assure you that payment isn't an issue here. What I'm doing is of my own accord."

His brow furrowed, as he tried to ignore the subtle smell of gardenias that filled his nose.

She continued to smile, the late afternoon sun adding a brilliant sheen to her ebony hair. "You see, I suppose I'm a lot like you shinobi. Although I'm not one, I'm aware of your qualities. You go after what you want, just like me, and right now, I know what I want. Do you?"

Sasuke stared down into those silvery eyes, a sense of frustration unexpectedly gripping him. Did he... did he know what he wanted?

He mentally shook himself. Of course he fucking did. He wanted to get over the recent error. He wanted to prove to himself that he was a man who was capable of being with a woman, and did not have to succumb to the illogical insecurities and fury he'd been feeling only a short while earlier. He wanted to prove that he could continue on without having to think about him in that way.

If he had a biological need, then he could assuage it now that the opportunity was being presented to him at this critical moment. He was a grown adult, after all. He could engage in the act, and end, once and for all, all of the infuriating thoughts—and doubts—that plagued him.

He studied her with a hard, clinical eye. She was essentially a groupie, another fan girl who existed among a throng of many, but she looked clean, poised, and well groomed—perhaps more so than any woman he'd ever encountered. Had the circumstances been incredibly different, she would have been an ideal marriage candidate. Nevertheless, that was irrelevant. Right now, he had a solution before his very eyes.

And he was livid enough to seize it.


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Author's Note 4/2/13: Well, well, two states, and two countries later, I've finally come back with another update. Although, if you follow me on Tumblr, then hello again, and yes dammit, I finally kept my word! The original chapter became a monstrous 20,000+ words. Due to this, I decided to split it in half for practicality purposes. Another chapter will be released this weekend for your reading pleasure.

I want to give a special thanks to my editor and beta LauraNeatO for all of her undying support for this fic and for encouraging me when I lose faith. I had a blast in LA with you! I also want to thank the wonderful Dakkar for her support as well, and for hearing me out when I rage. She might have a little surprise for you all soon.

Lastly, I want to thank all of the reviewers and followers of this story. So many of you sent such supportive messages that I literally could not keep up with the replies, and it really fueled me. I love that so many of you understand my intentions with this story. I especially want to thank my Tumblr followers who have been unwavering in their reassurance, and for also making me laugh, and putting up with my nonsense. I've become buddies with such cool people in these last few months, and it has made being on the nets that much more entertaining.

Now, if you so feel inclined to, feel free to review. It's how I get my kicks.