AN: Thanks so much for reviewing, reading, putting this on alert, and for favoriting! I really appreciate it! I'm back now, so hopefully I can resume updating as usual for awhile! Thanks again for staying with me, and Happy New Year!

I don't own anything you'd reccognize.

"I knew it!" Ron shouted as he threw the Daily Prophet across the bed and onto the floor.

"Knew what?" the woman beside him asked as she draped herself over him and began to kiss his neck.

"Hermione! There was another man!" Ron exclaimed as he pointed to where the paper lay.

"Why are you thinking about her?" the girl murmured before moving on to his earlobe.

Ron shuddered in pleasure until his rage reignited. "Hermione tried to trap me into marriage with a baby. Now she's marrying the real father."

The woman abruptly stopped her assault on his ear and asked, "Wait, you dumped Hermione because she was pregnant?"

"The baby was Severus Snape's," Ron replied.

"You poor thing!" the woman swooned before capturing his lips.

Ron returned the gesture and pulled her on top of him. Inside, he was rejoicing. Now his dirty little secret was safe. When Hermione gave birth, the child would be Severus Snape's problem not his. He might even be able to win public sympathy by crying about how much it hurt to know that she'd cheated on him. Hell, if he wanted he could start right now. She was showing after all…

Everything was turning out just great.


"No!" Minerva gasped as she slammed the paper onto the table.

"What?" Slughorn asked from his seat to her left.

"Severus is taking a wife!" Minerva announced.

"What?" Neville asked from her right.

The Headmistress sighed as a few of the students stopped eating to stare at the commotion. "If Severus Snape could not find a wife and marry within six months he would lose his grandmother's fortune to Hogwarts."

"He's getting married!" Neville exclaimed a little too brightly for Minerva's liking. "To whom?"

"Yes, who's the unfortunate sap?" Slughorn asked.

The headmistress picked up the paper and continued reading the article. Her eyes widened in shock when she read the name. "It's Hermione Granger."

"Hermione?" Slughorn asked.

"Hermione," Neville pondered.

Slughorn yanked the paper away from Minerva and scanned the front page article for himself. "Why?" Slughorn asked.

"I don't know," Minerva answered.

"Ron and Hermione just broke up, but I never thought she'd be the kind to marry on the rebound," Neville mused.

"Is that the reason?" Minerva asked, still grasping for some explanation.

"Maybe the money enticed her," Slughorn asked. "Four hundred million Galleons is a lot to pass up."

"No, Hermione was never a gold digger." The Headmistress answered.

"Maybe she wanted to help Severus," Neville suggested.

"Isn't marriage going a little above and beyond help?" the Headmistress asked.

Neville shrugged. "Maybe she likes him."

"Excuse me?" Minerva questioned.

"Maybe she thinks they'd be compatible. She wants to help Severus so she has agreed to marry him. It's sort of romantic," Neville replied.

"That doesn't make any sense," Slughorn argued.

"None of this does," Minerva answered.

"Still, this is Hermione Granger we're speaking of," Slughorn pondered aloud. "She loves Hogwarts, correct?"

"Of course she does," Minerva replied.

"Then perhaps we could talk her out of this marriage," Slughorn answered.

"But what if this marriage is good for her?" Neville asked.

"What if her non-marriage is better for Hogwarts?" Slughorn asked.

"Good point," Minerva replied. "I'll speak with her tomorrow."


"I cannot fully express how good it feels to return to my true form," Fenrir began as he reentered the previously oppressive blue tent.

"I'm starting to get the idea. I've been hearing you howl about it for days," Scabior answered without taking his eyes off the latest Daily Prophet.

Fenrir snarled as he ripped the paper away from Scabior. "This is no time for reading! It's time for planning!"

"Planning what?" Scabior asked.

Fenrir smirked. "Vengeance on all the people who put me in that deplorable state for so long."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Scabior answered as his eyes flashed in interest. Then his face fell. "But how? Only the Chief Snatcher escaped with us."

"Are the rest dead?" Fenrir asked.

"Bellatrix LeStrange has been lost, along with a few others. Most were imprisoned at Azkaban," Scabior answered.

"Good, I can still use them."

"How?" Scabior asked. "We can't exactly go up to a guard and say, 'Hey! Could you please release this list of prisoners so we can revive the Death Eaters?'"

Fenrir snarled at him, but then paused. "You have a point," he replied. "We're going to need a strategy not only to release them from prison, but also to win their allegiance."

"How do you plan to convince a bunch of Death Eaters to follow a werewolf?"

"I have a plan," Fenrir assured him. "But before I can implement that plan we'll need to do some, well, cleaning up. Tie up a few loose ends."

"Like?"

"Ronald Weasley and Neville Longbottom need to pay for what they did to me. I may have let my guard down once, but that won't happen again! This time, I will catch them off guard."

"How?" Scabior asked with great interest.

"I remember reading about Longbottom's shiny new greenhouse. That will be the first thing to go."

"You're going to attack Hogwarts?" Scabior gasped.

Fenrir smirked. "Well that certainly would come as a surprise, wouldn't it?"

"True, but then what of Weasley? How do you plan to take revenge on him?"

"Does he still have that delicious girlfriend, Granger?"

"Not anymore," Scabior answered.

"Oh?" Fenrir asked.

Scabior retrieved the paper and pointed to the article. "Weasley and Granger split. She's marrying Severus Snape."

"Interesting," Fenrir commented. "I suppose I can save her for later, then. The Death Eaters will want Snape after all. I wouldn't want to spoil it for them."

"Yes, assuming that you can get the Death Eaters behind you."

Fenrir grinned evilly. "Trust me, I know exactly what to do."


Yep, he's back!