:Help. My writers block is back and it hurts really bad. I procrastinated so much on this chapter, because of my writers block and my throat hurting, also I'm itchy all over. I think I'm catching a cold, so I'm sorry if it isn't that good, I tried hard on this chapter! Please try to enjoy and review!:
Why does this have to happen to me? Yugi thought as he stared at the darkness of the cushion he was laying face down on. He had cried for an hour, possibly even two, he didn't know. Yugi had just been staring there at the cushion, thinking of nothing for a while, he had noticed his study door opening once, twice? He didn't care, he didn't know what to do. Why? Yugi turned over onto his back and stared up at his ceiling, counting the lines in it as he tried to relax.
Yugi let out a stiff chuckle, relax? How could he relax when he promised that he'd choose between two people, who could relax? Yami or Anzu...Yugi kept staring at the ceiling, forgetting which number he was on when he was counting the lines. He loved Anzu, or he used too...When had he stopped loving her? Was it when he went to the house? Yugi shook his head, that couldn't be it. He didn't find himself as the kind of guy to stop loving someone just because he went to another place and met someone. It might have helped, but it wasn't the reason, it couldn't be. Yugi took a deep breath and tried to remember, what had stopped his love? He remembered when they first had intercourse, Yugi had been excited, but as they did it. He remembered that he thought it felt odd, like it wasn't right for him. He loved her, so the sex had to be loving, but Yugi wasn't into it.
Maybe...Yugi began to think, maybe it was when she started to go out partying without him. She would invite him to come with him, but he would always be working on something or just didn't feel like going. She would beg him, but he would still say no to her, and in the end, she would always still go. Yugi trusted her when she did this, but it wasn't right. What kind of wife would go out drinking, only to return the next morning and not mention anything that happened the night before? Anzu was a good wife, in terms of cleaning, cooking, being attractive, and loving him. But she was also a bad one at the same time, she would be bossy at times, she would leave without telling him where she was going, if she was mad she would tell him but then demand to do something, she would get mad if he didn't want sex, and she didn't truly respect his career as a writer.
She always hated his career, she said that it took out time that they could be spending together. When she didn't complain about his career, it was mainly because they had received a hefty payment from a book. Anzu once voiced she wanted Yugi to retire and just spend time with her, that their income was good without his writing, but that was their only income. The two of them basically lived off Yugi's writing, so why would she say that? Yugi sat up and scratched the back of his head and looked to the body mirror.
Yugi felt his face flush as he looked at it and turned away from it. He knew that Yami would wait now, but he couldn't help but blush when he looked at a mirror now. Yugi moved his eyes to the coffee table and noticed a small sandwich and a glass of water, there was a small note at the side of it. He reached down and picked up the note and opened it.
I was upset when you didn't come back to watch the movie,
but you probably have your reasons so I won't pry.
Here's a sandwich if you get hungry.
I hope you feel better.
I love you.
Anzu.
Yugi smiled sadly at the note and felt the exact same stab of guilt as before. He might not love Anzu, but Anzu loved him. So why was he worried about her going out, he trusts her...He let out another sigh and threw himself back onto the loveseat. He rose his hands to his face and bit his lip, why was he like this? Why couldn't it have been a normal romance? Why couldn't it be just like people said marriage would be like, those occasional arguments that usually meant nothing, and the romance being stronger then then those arguments. Why couldn't it be like that?! Because you went to the house.
Yugi froze and stared into his hands. That was the reason, wasn't it? He had been obsessed with the house, drawn to it, craved to see it, to be inside of it. He wanted, needed, to write a story about it. Yugi would have never gone if he knew it would have done this to him, but it wasn't the house that made him feel like this, why was he blaming the house? It wasn't the houses fault that inside of it was a Shadow who...Yugi felt himself blush and wanted to groan. Why did Yami do this to him?! Yugi wanted to tell himself that it was a crush that would go away, it would be like that! People always had crushes on other people if their relationship with their current person wasn't working out, right? It wasn't a crush though, no crush would do this to him. Yami had voiced he liked, loved, Yugi. Why did that hit him so hard? Was it because of the fact that he had voiced it. Anzu would hardly ever voice that she loved Yugi, she had done plenty of actions that proved that she did, including the sandwich and paper she just wrote for Yugi!
Yugi wanted to blame it on the fact that Yami was a Shadow, a being who could do many things a human couldn't. But he couldn't blame it on that fact, Joey had said Shadows can't make a human fall in love. So why did Yami make him feel this way? He thought that being married would stop you from loving another person, but...How was Yami different from Anzu, why did he seem to like, Yugi gulped, love him more?
Yami acted like he cared for Yugi, he truly did...Anzu did that too, however, so that wasn't really a difference. When he and Anzu first had intercourse, Anzu was the one to start it, she had almost forced it upon him actually. Yugi had been excited but like he had thought before, he didn't enjoy it. Yami had hinted wanting to have intercourse with him, but he had never advanced on him forcefully, he had kissed him, he had kissed his neck, but he had never let his hands wander. It was like Yami wanted permission, he wanted to know if Yugi wanted it too. Yami had told him that he knew that Yugi didn't want Anzu, but did he really? Yami didn't actually know, he acted like he did, he was taking simple hints that he had picked up and made his own conclusion, but he most likely has doubts in his mind. Yugi felt bad for him, it must hurt not knowing if the person you love, loves you back or not. Yugi blushed at this and turned back over on his stomach.
Yami hates humans, but loves him? It made no sense, he clearly didn't hate humans as much as he had heard if he was falling for one. Yugi thought for a moment, Joey had said that Shadows used to be humans and Yami had mentioned that Anzu reminded him of someone he knew dearly. Yugi sat back up and looked down at the cushion. Could it be that Yami had a wife before? He had said her looks reminded him of someone, her attitude reminded him of someone, who was that someone? Yugi tried to think, he had called Anzu by a different name, what was that name?
Tea. Yugi remembered, Tea. It was a pretty name, Yugi had to admit, but what did that person do? Yami said that their stories would end the same if something would happen, what did that mean? Had this Tea person done something that made Yami hate humans, she would be the person to most likely do that if they were married. Did she party a lot, did she drink? Was she really like Anzu? Yugi felt his heart sting in pain, how would his story end, if he chose Anzu? Yugi shook his head, this isn't a novel! What was he talking about? Stories and such, was he child?
Yugi stood up off the loveseat and walked to his desk, he didn't see his car keys on it. He smiled to himself, Yami wasn't in the room with him, but then again. Yugi leaned on his desk, Yami had appeared in the kitchen but he hadn't seen the keys then. Yugi was tempted to slam his head on his desk, but he didn't want Anzu to come rushing up the stairs or across the hall to see if he died or not. Yugi narrowed his eyes down at his desk, dying...Yugi's eyes widened, in order for a Shadow to actually become a Shadow, they have to die. Was Yami killed by his wife? He shook his head, no that was ridiculous...Couples didn't kill each other! He thought about his story about the murder that had taken place long ago...That had been about a husband killing his wife. No, they killed each other plenty. Yugi felt his heart begin to pound in fear, would Anzu kill him one day? If he chose Anzu, would she one day kill him?
Why was he jumping to conclusions? Yugi walked around his desk to the window and stared out past the streets, to lay his eyes upon the house. He laid his hands on the window, he felt his temptation to go back to house come back in a splash. It wasn't for inspiration this time though, it was just to see the Shadows again...Yugi wanted to go back, to see Joey, Seto, all of the Shadows again. They were nice to him, treated him well, as if he wasn't a stranger but a friend. Yugi was scared, scared of his heart, of Anzu, of everything. Why was everything so difficult, why did his heart and mind do this to him? Yugi grit his teeth together, Anzu or Yami? A human or a Shadow, does he go with what he's had ever since high school or go with the interest that he started to fall for from the moment he saw him. Yugi moved his hand to rest on the house, as if asking it silently to help him choose. Yugi's eyes widened and his body froze when he looked in the window and saw the reflection of his door behind him begin to open.
"Yugi?" His wife called out as she opened the door, she was now wearing shorts along with her shirt, she was carrying a newspaper in her hands. Yugi didn't move from the window and stared at the reflection of the door. Her eyes were closed and opened the door fully.
"Yugi, are you-" Anzu stopped in mid sentence as she looked at the back of Yugi's head, he was at the window again, staring at the house. Anzu grit her teeth and glared at the window, that damned house again.
"Why..."
:Okay, this is shortest chapter ever and I apologize for that but hey enjoy the cliffhangers, they're fun! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!:
