Chapter 12: Fostering
After the company had been rescued from the orcs by the flock of immense eagles and carried away to safety, after the eagles had left them and Gandalf had healed Thorin's wounds, the whole company stood in silence and stared at the far-off sight of Erebor. The peak of the great mountain, the only part of it that was visible above the clouds, was only a tiny glimpse of the mountain.
Bilbo inched closer to the cliff edge and looked down. He turned rather green, then looked up at Dwalin, who stood next to him. "Why didn't the eagles put us down on the ground?"
"I expect," Bofur interrupted whatever Dwalin might have said. "That they meant for us to be trapped up here."
"But why?" Bilbo frowned in confusion. "They only just rescued us."
Bofur shrugged and kept grinning. "Rescued? I think they might have put us up here for safe-keeping. They'll come back when they get hungry."
It took a moment for Bilbo to realize what Bofur meant, but when he did, the revulsion on his face was almost comical. "That isn't funny!"
"I should think not," Bofur answered, mildly. "Come all this long way only for us all to end up as bird food? I don't much like that. What say we get ourselves away from here. See? Out there?" Bofur gestured out towards Erebor, but down. "See that great forest? That's Mirkwood. I've heard some nasty stories about that place."
"None of which we need to hear, Bofur." Bombur's quiet admonishment silenced Bofur at once. "But we shouldn't stay here."
"Quite right," Balin agreed. "It's high time for us to be on our way. Thorin? Can you climb?"
"I will manage." Despite Gandalf's help, Thorin still sore and tired, but as he knew everyone else was, too, he said nothing about it.
Balin patted Thorin on the arm, sympathetically. "You go slow. We'll meet your pace, today, so take whatever time you need. The trip down will not be easy. Bilbo, you make sure you keep close to Nori; we don't want you to have a nasty accident if you slip." Before Bilbo could argue, which he looked like he wanted to do, Balin added, "I know you don't want to be looked after, but this is for the best. Trust me, won't you? Be thankful I don't have any rope, or I'd be tying you off to Dwalin to keep you from falling."
"If he falls," Dwalin grumbled. "I'll catch him."
So, down they all went. Dwalin went first, then Thorin and Dori and then all the others. Bilbo, though he grumbled about not needing to be taken care of, did stay near Nori as they climbed. "I DID just save Thorin from that awful orc, you know. I can handle climbing down a cliff." He groused at Balin, who was below him as they climbed. But Balin ignored him, as he often did when he thought people were being silly.
The climb down was slow and, for Thorin, painful. He did his best not to let on, because they needed to get down and no one needed to hear him whining about a few little injuries. After all, Gandalf had healed him and there wasn't anything really wrong with him. It was only a couple of warg bites and a little blunt force trauma.
Everyone had injuries.
Ori, even after the desperate flight from the goblins and then the ordeal with Azog, was still nearly vibrating with pent up energy. Poor Ori. While having blood lust was often a boon in battle, it could be maddening when one wasn't allowed to use it. Ori was twitchy and anxious, but thankfully, he was a dwarf and that meant he, like all the others, was able to easily keep a good grip on the rocks. He would rush ahead of everyone, right down the rocky slope, then climb back up to them. He said nothing, just went to Kili, touched his face or arms to reassure himself that Kili was alright, and resumed his endless climbing up and down with such speed that Thorin feared he might hurt himself.
"Best let him do as he wishes," Dori advised, quietly. "He needs to use the energy and it's better that he's climbing than trying to wrestle Dwalin on the side of a cliff." He wasn't a bit surprised by Ori's behavior. They'd all known Ori was a berserker since his twentieth birthday when he'd tried to rip off the ears of a bully who'd thought it would be great fun to push Kili into a mud puddle. Normally, Ori controlled his more savage impulses quite well, but recent circumstances would test anyone. The fact that he'd been able to restrain himself from attacking the goblin king was a testament to Dori's excellent teaching.
Ori wasn't the only one injured. There were scratches and bruises and blood for all the company. Everyone was quiet as they climbed, but for Nori advising Bilbo about where the next good foot or hand hold was.
Thorin's foot slipped on a loose stone and, while he did manage to catch himself, the jolt of it sent a shock of pain from the wound Azog had given him right up through to his head. He took a deep breath and kept moving.
"Are you alright?" Dori obligingly asked.
"Fine. I'm fine." It was embarrassing to feel so helpless… so weak. "Why don't you go help someone who needs it?"
"Don't start growling at me." Dori's tone was mild and he stayed right with Thorin as they continued down.
Eventually, they reached the bottom and were on solid, flat ground. Everyone stopped to rest. It wasn't a proper camp as they had no supplies at all to make a camp with. But everyone sat down and let Oin take a look at their wounds. Even if he had no medicines or even bandages, just letting Oin inspect everyone did an excellent job of calming him down. Poor Oin always got fidgety when he thought someone might be hurt.
Thorin leaned his back against a large stone and tried to think about their next move, but he really just wanted to lay down and sleep. He was so tired. He was hungry and thirsty. There was no food or water, though. The immense grassland spread out around them for miles and Thorin had no comfort at all to offer his people.
"I've lost my quilt."
Thorin turned his head and found that Bilbo, dirty and exhausted, had sat next to him. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs, leaving Bilbo huddled in a little ball of perfect misery.
"It's still down with the goblins." Bilbo pitifully put his forehead on his knees. "I'll never finish it, now."
"You could make another," Thorin suggested.
But Bilbo shook his head. "It wouldn't be the same."
Dori sat next to Bilbo and slipped an arm around Bilbo to give him a little squeeze. As Bilbo tended to do when someone gave him an affectionate touch, he stiffened for a moment, but then he relaxed against Dori and the little frown he'd had when he mentioned his quilt eased in a shy, pleased smile. It was good. Bilbo seemed to be growing easier with affection as he spent more time with the dwarves.
"Bilbo," Dori gently said. "Another quilt won't be the same, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, is it? I'm sure everyone will be happy to give you another piece of cloth." He gave a wink. "And this time you won't have to sneak them."
Bilbo stiffened and pulled away from Dori. "I'm not sneakin'! I'm not… I didn't!" He seemed unduly horrified to be accused of sneaking. "I didn't sneak anything; it was all stuff no one wanted. Honestly."
"Alright, then. I'm sorry for the poor word choice. Settle down and rest."
Bilbo did as he was told, though his hand went to the pocket of his waist coat and clutched at it almost convulsively. He looked over to where Bofur was talking to his brother and cousin. Quietly, Bilbo looked up at Dori and said, "I also lost my rabbit. The rabbit Bofur was teaching me to carve. Do you think he'll be very cross?"
"Not a bit." Dori shook his head. "We lost nearly everything in those caverns. He won't be at all surprised that your little carving is gone, too. Besides, is Bofur ever angry?"
"He might be about this. He is very proud of his carving." Bilbo touched his lips with his thumb, but didn't try to chew his thumbnail. "I don't want him to be angry and decide he doesn't want to teach me because I'm not responsible enough. I always try to be responsible and respectable."
The idea that Bofur would stop teaching Bilbo because Bilbo hadn't been able to hang onto his pack in the middle of a goblin attack was absolutely absurd. Bofur wouldn't stop teaching Bilbo for the world. Thorin said, "Bilbo, dwarves take our crafts, and teaching those crafts, very seriously." He had meant it to be reassuring, to let Bilbo know that Bofur wouldn't just abandon him, but Bilbo cringed and Thorin knew he'd messed it up, again.
Dori said, "Thorin means that Bofur takes his teaching seriously enough that he won't stop just because the goblins made you lose your work."
Bilbo looked much reassured and Thorin knew he should have let Dori explain in the first place.
Ori suddenly collapsed. He fell without warning, right flat on his face. Kili squawked in alarm and quickly rolled Ori onto his back.
Dori sighed, relieved. "Finally. He crashes so hard when he gets worked up."
"Is that normal?" Bilbo asked, worriedly.
"Oh, yes." Dori didn't even bother to go check on Ori. Instead, he chuckled fondly. "The poor thing will wake up with a beard full of dirt and he'll be sulky, but a good rest is just what he needs right now. We'll be here until he wakes up unless someone is feeling up to carrying him. And you," Dori pulled Bilbo back close to him after snagging hold of Bilbo's arm. "Need to relax for a bit and try to sleep."
"I can't sleep. There are eyes in the darkness."
Thorin looked sharply at Bilbo. "What eyes?"
Bilbo wouldn't look at Thorin and kept clutching at his waistcoat pocket. "When I fell there was an underground pond and… and there were eyes in the darkness. I suppose it was a person… of sorts." Bilbo shuddered at the memory. "Those eyes were terrible, huge and pale as milk. I think it wanted to eat me and I had to trick it in order to escape."
Anger and fear made Thorin grind his teeth. Thank goodness Bilbo had escaped that thing – whatever it had been.
"I should be doing something," Bilbo went on, after a moment. "I don't like just sitting. I want to clean something. There's nothing to clean. I've even lost my buttons so I can't polish them."
Thorin longed to be able to do something for Bilbo to make him feel better, but he just didn't know what do to. He couldn't think of anything that would be remotely useful. So, he suggested the only thing he could think of. "Take out your sword."
Bilbo looked puzzled, but did as he was told.
"You need to keep your sword clean. It's very important. Let me show you." And Thorin pulled a small rag from one of his pockets and demonstrated to Bilbo how to keep his dainty little sword clean. He sat back and watched when Bilbo showed he could do it.
For nearly an hour, Bilbo intently cleaned his sword, frowning in concentration the whole time. He worked in complete silence and, as he did, Thorin noticed the tension ease out of Bilbo's stiff shoulders. Finally, Bilbo stopped. He let out of a deep breath and gave Thorin a shy smile as he handed back the little cleaning rag. "Thank you, Thorin."
Thorin would have to teach Bilbo how to use his sword, soon. If he was going to have it, he needed to know how to use it. While Thorin knew he wasn't smart enough to teach much, he certainly could teach Bilbo how to use a sword.
Later-
Gandalf was taking them to shelter at the home of his friend.
Thorin and his company followed Gandalf through the grassland and they were more than half-way there when they came upon a fine little spot near a small, shallow river and a stand of a few scraggly trees. It was a good place to rest and they couldn't ignore the water. The grassland was filled with small game and with everyone's efforts, they dined well on rabbits, birds, and whatever else they could bring down, but water had been harder to come by.
After everyone had slacked their thirst at the little river, Dori decided it was time that he use the relative peace to get some practice. Everyone in the company, but for Gandalf, who'd found something more interesting to focus on, watched while Dori stripped off his shirt before he took himself apart from the rest of them and began a routine of movements designed to mimic a battle. It was a magnificent display of flips, spins, strikes, and kicks that he could use in the event of a battle where he had no weapon to use.
Thorin had seen it before, but it never got old. The movements were graceful… elegant… and Dori without a shirt was lovely.
"It's very impressive," Bilbo, standing at Thorin's side, beamed at Dori's deadly display. "I've never seen a dance like that."
"Dance?"
"Yes. Hobbits do a lot of dancing at parties, but I've never seen anything like that. It really is beautiful."
Thorin had no idea what to say to that, so he kept quiet.
Bilbo asked, "Did he have to take his shirt off?"
"No," Nori answered with a snicker. "He just likes making Thorin's blood pressure rise."
Thorin aimed a cuff at Nori but, of course, missed and Nori moved away to stand with Ori while they watched Dori's work out.
Bilbo seemed content enough to stand by Thorin and watch as Dori's routine went on and on until sweat dripped down his face. Nori and Ori watched Dori intently – it was part of their training. It was good, for their own sakes, that Ori had recovered from teetering on the brink of a berserker rage and Nori finally seemed to have gotten over the newness of his relationship with Bilbo to concentrate on the lessons. If they weren't able to concentrate, Dori would be far from pleased. Soon enough, Dori called for his brothers to join him.
The spectacle of the three of them was amazing, but something Thorin had seen quite often throughout his life. So he turned to Bilbo and said, "When he's finished, I would like to speak with you and Dori."
"Did I do something wrong, again? Is this about the Orc?" Bilbo straightened his back and belligerently – or as belligerently as he could – said, "I'd do it again. I'm not sorry. It had to be done; I couldn't just stand around and watch you get killed. I couldn't." His voice dropped a little at the end and he looked down at his feet. Very softly, almost whispering, Bilbo said, "I watched my father die. There was nothing I could do to help. He was so very sick, but I can't watch someone die and do nothing – not again. Never again."
Bilbo rarely spoke about his parents and Thorin felt honored by the vulnerable honesty. "There is no trouble and I am not angry about anything. I just wanted to talk." He berated himself for upsetting the lad. He couldn't even say such a simple thing without doing it wrong and distressing Bilbo with painful thoughts. Stupid Thorin.
Thorin used his time to lay down and rest, only opening his eyes when he realized the practice was over. Soon, Dori, still shirtless, which Thorin was very pleased to see, walked over to him with Bilbo happily trotting along at his side.
"How did it go with your brothers?" Thorin sat up when Dori sat next to him, Bilbo right with him. It was a comfort for Thorin to see how close Bilbo was quickly growing to Dori.
Dori shrugged, which sent all the muscles in his shoulders and chest, normally hidden under his unassuming clothes, rippling. It was a lovely sight. "Oh, you would think they'd never had a day of training in their lives, the way they carry on about a few little bumps and bruises. They didn't fuss so much after the goblins or the orcs!"
"What happened?"
Bilbo piped up, "Dori threw Ori into a tree and tossed Nori right into the river!" He said it with a delighted smile. "He's so strong!"
"Yes, he is," Thorin agreed. "Why did they deserve that?"
Dori made a 'hrump' sort of sound and sniffed. "Ori was showing off for Kili – as always! – and Nori still has half his brain focused on this one," he jerked his thumb at Bilbo. "And kept looking over to check on him."
Bilbo blinked with surprise. "He was? I didn't notice. I didn't meant to distract him. Oh, poor Nori."
"Poor Nori, indeed. Bah!" Dori answered. "They both know better than to indulge in that sort of foolishness. It's dangerous work we do; there's no excuse for messing about." Dori carefully folded up his shirt and set it on his lap, clearly having no intention of putting it back on. Then he gave Thorin a serious look. "You wanted to talk?"
"I thought we might talk about fostering."
Dori smiled brightly and reached over to pat Bilbo's shoulder. "A splendid idea. High time we all spoke about this."
"About what?" Bilbo looked from one to the other with confusion. "What's 'fostering'?"
Dori said, "Fostering is when someone who hasn't got a family of their own is welcomed into another family. We would like you to join our family. We would like to foster you." There was something sweetly hopeful in Dori's voice and Thorin had to fight to keep his behavior proper and not reach over to take Dori's hand as he wanted to.
"But," Bilbo hesitantly said. "You all said I was already like family – to everyone here."
"And you are. This fostering would include everyone here." A quick look around the group showed that everyone was paying attention, though they made an effort to be discreet. "I have discussed this at length with everyone, after having someone distract you, and they all agree. A fostering will be a formal, legal agreement to recognize you as part of everyone's family and that agreement will be as binding as any relation of blood."
Bilbo looked down at his lap. "Really? You really want to do this? What about after the quest – if the dragon doesn't roast us, I mean."
"Well, you would stay with us in Erebor, of course."
Thorin nervously watched Bilbo. He could think of no good reason why Bilbo would want to return to The Shire, but children were sometimes odd.
"I… You want me to stay in Erebor? I'm allowed?"
"Yes," Thorin answered at once. "You are very welcomed to stay. Always."
Bilbo squirmed. "Really? You really want me to stay? Because you don't have to; I have a very nice home. In fact, it's an excellent home. My father had it built. I don't have to stay in Erebor." He started to frown and his wiggling stopped abruptly. His shoulders slumped. "In fact… I shouldn't. Father always said a Baggins should live in Bag End. He might not like it if I just left."
Thorin asked, "Wouldn't your father want you to be happy, no matter where you lived?"
The fact that Bilbo didn't answer straight away made little alarm bells ring in Thorin's mind.
Slowly, Bilbo looked up and cautiously looked from Dori to Thorin. "May I think about it for a little while?"
"Of course," Dori told him. "There's no deadline. But, remember – we didn't ask you because we had to. We asked you because we wanted to. We want you to stay with us."
Bilbo's hands were shaking and he looked like he might cry. "Oh? Yes? Well… that's just… really? Really. But… but…" He stopped babbling, then and went still, though his fingers kept twitching where they sat on his lap, as if he couldn't control them.
With so much agitation building inside the little hobbit, Thorin decided that it was time to change the subject. They would convince Bilbo of the wisdom of staying in Erebor, later, when he was calm. Thorin slapped his thigh and stood up. "I think it is time to wash."
"Wash?" Bilbo asked.
"Yes. We haven't been able to properly wash in a good long while and everyone is getting a bit ripe." In fact, Thorin realized, he had the shabbiest looking bunch of dwarves that had ever been seen. Should anyone catch sight of them, they certainly wouldn't look like a band of adventurers on a noble quest. Rather, they would be judged to be ruffians skulking about on some nefarious purpose. "We have a good river that will serve very well."
Everyone was called together and their precious bar of soap was produced from Balin's pocket. Once at the river bank, they all took to washing with great eagerness.
Kili was, of course, the first dwarf in the water. The others followed at a slightly more sedated pace until Thorin was the last dwarf on dry land. For a moment, he stood by the river and observed his people. People scrubbed at their arms and legs. Everyone's hair was loose, having been freed from their braids for a long-needed wash. It was a jolly time for all.
Bilbo watched the dwarves from the riverbank rather than joining them.
"Do hobbits have difficulty with water?" Thorin asked.
Slightly distracted, Bilbo said, "No. Not particularly." He flushed and kept his eyes on his feet. "I just supposed that I might wait until everyone was finished before going in."
As bathing was considered a communal affair with dwarves, bathing alone would only be done if there truly was no choice in the matter. Often, the most disreputable of society would find themselves bathing alone because no one would deign to join them.
"There is no point in waiting. Join us." Thorin undressed, then, but found that Bilbo hadn't moved when he looked back at him. "What are you waiting for?"
"As a general rule," Bilbo said in a strangely choked voice. "Hobbits bathe alone."
"Hobbits have strange customs," Thorin huffed, not in the least bit interested in hobbit's strange way of raising children. "Get in the water. You smell just like the rest of us."
It took some time before Bilbo was able to join them and when he did, still flushed and shy, he kept a distance away from the group and seemed intent on simply washing as quickly as he could, presumably so that he could get out and get dressed quickly, too. Naturally, neither Kili nor Fili would have any of that.
The sneak attack was only a surprise to Bilbo who had been too intent on washing quickly to notice the brothers creeping towards him. With a squawk of surprise, Bilbo was grabbed and hauled into slightly deeper water where Kili took great pleasure in dunking him. Bilbo came back up, gasping for air and spluttered at Kili. It took only a moment for Bilbo to lunge after him and try to dunk him in return. After a moment, all of the younger members of the party were happily playing and splashing, much to the amusement of their elders.
In the meanwhile, Thorin set about cleaning himself and when that was done, he retrieved a comb from one of his coat's many pockets. The comb was a rather sad sight and needed to be replaced, but it would do for the interim. Balin silently went to Thorin and sat down in front of him. It was soothing to just take the time to comb out Balin's long hair.
One-by-one the elders of their group got out of the water and dried themselves. Sadly, Thorin's comb was the only one that hadn't been lost. They all shared that comb, each person combing the hair of a relative or friend until everyone was done and the three younger ones dragged their exhausted selves out of the water.
Bilbo still seemed oddly shy and hurried to dress himself even while Fili and Kili, still wet and bare, started doing their own hair. Fili sat still while Kili combed Fili's hair and retied his braids and then they changed places. Once Kili's hair was finished, Kili looked over his shoulder at Fili and held out his hand. "Gimme."
With a tolerant smile, Fili handed over the comb.
Kili rushed to where Bilbo sat near the fire. "I'll tidy your hair, Bilbo!" Kili cheerfully offered, waving the comb in the air.
Bilbo looked surprised at the offer. "Oh, thank you, but there's no need. It's really not worth any effort." He combed both hands through his curls and shook his head. "There. Done."
Kili's shoulders slumped. "You… you don't want me to comb your hair?" He looked as if he might cry.
"It's not that I don't want you to do it, but it's not really necessary. I keep my hair short, so it's no bother to look after." Bilbo looked up at the clouds with a wistful expression. "Now that I think about it, my mother was the last person to brush my hair. I was such a little thing back then." He touched his hair, again. "It's getting long, though. I'll have to cut it, soon."
Bilbo's mother had been dead for years, Thorin recalled. So he hadn't had his hair tended by anyone in years? It was almost too sad to think about.
Fili came to a tactful rescue. "In dwarven society," he told Bilbo. "It's rather a custom for friends and relations to tend each other's hair. Kili had really been hoping that you trusted him enough to let him do that for you."
Bilbo blinked, then smiled and gave Kili a pat on the head. "I didn't know it meant so much to you. Go ahead, then. If it makes you happy."
If Bilbo saw the pleased looks that the older dwarves shared between themselves, he didn't show it.
Thorin enjoyed the domestic moment and watched his nephews and Bilbo together. It was all so peaceful and he wished Dis could be with them to share the moment. He wondered how she fared in The Shire and how the hobbits treated their people.
No matter how pleasant the brief moment was, Thorin knew it wouldn't last. Mirkwood grew closer by the day.
To be continued…
