Chapter 12: Then There Were Three
The Arena - Day 8
I wake up thinking about the faces in the sky from last night.
Elegance. Luna. Grainelle.
It seems like it was ages ago that we woke up and found Luna dead from hypothermia. How was that just yesterday morning? How did so much change in one day?
"Good morning."
I don't turn over when I hear him. I'm surprised he could tell I was awake. The slope of the mountain a few feet from me has large trees hiding our campsite from the valley and large lake below. As it turns out, the icy river leads to a sparkling, icy lake. I can just see the shimmering blue water from here through breaks in the tree branches. Gray clouds hover above us, obscuring the sun for a few moments. The glittering on the water fades with it. I sigh, turning in my sleeping bag.
Bale is stoking the meager fire we made last night. The small orange flames are entirely beautiful to me - they kept us alive last night, exposed to the cold air. But they won't last us very long. Matches would make it easier.
"Good morning," I say, swallowing in an attempt to get rid of the croak in my voice.
A breeze goes by, the fire shivering.
"Have I missed anything?" I ask. I slowly prop myself up on an elbow.
Bale shakes his head. "After your watch ended, everything was calm." He shrugs, smiling at me from his cross-crossed seat. "I think the Gamemakers are going to give us some time to recollect ourselves. There was... a lot happening yesterday."
I nod slowly. We lapse into silence. The fire crackles between us, birds singing in the distance.
"Can I ask a question?" Bale finally says.
I glance up, the fur lining of my hood tickling my forehead. "Sure."
"Why did you warn me?" he continues, his gaze unfaltering. "You could've left me back at camp and let Porcelain kill me. Why didn't you?"
"I..." I don't know. "I didn't really think about it," I mutter. "Not telling you didn't even occur to me."
"It was your first instinct to save me," Bale goes on.
I gave him a humorless, quick smile. "You make me sound so noble. How do you know I just didn't want to be alone?"
A half-smile quirks up his lips, the kind with actual happiness that my smile lacks. It's like he has a secret and I'm in on the joke. "Am I really that unbearable to be around?"
"Well, you beat the bears and the lions," I answer, yawning. For some reason I'm acutely aware of my heart beating.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
We're silent again before I sigh. "You've saved my life... two times. I should've drowned in that river the second day. Then I should've frozen to death in that blizzard. It seems like I should keep you around. Actually, I never..." I pick at my sleeping bag, squelching down my pride. "I never thanked you for saving my life that second time. Thank you for not letting me die in the blizzard."
Bale watches me, smiling faintly. "Anytime."
Moving forward a bit, I take off my gloves and put my hands over the fire. The flames feel luxurious on my bare palms. I relish the warmth, breathing out white fog. "Do you ever wonder what they thought last?"
"Hm?" Bale cocks his head. "Who?"
"The ones who died," I say. The ones who have already died, anyways. These Games aren't over.
Bale's quiet. Finally, "I don't know, Sea-Pearl."
"When I was in the river, I can remember thinking about how badly I wanted to breathe. I probably would have within the next couple seconds if you hadn't saved me," I tell him. "People usually say you think about your whole live in reverse when you die. But all I could think about was oxygen and how much I wanted it."
"You were drowning," he responds softly. "That makes sense."
"It just makes me wonder what other people were thinking..." I smile. "Who knows? Maybe one day the Capitol will invent some device to record exactly what Tributes think as we die."
Bale watches me again, his smile gone.
"What?" I ask after a few seconds of silence.
"Were you always this cynical?" he finally says.
I bristle. "What do you mean?"
"It's just... you volunteered for that girl back in Four. Someone who would risk their life to save someone else's doesn't strike me as the cynical, cold type."
"You think I'm cold and cynical?"
He deadpans. "On our first night in the Capitol, you threw a vase at the television and walked across the glass. You somehow made Finnick Odair hate you."
"I don't care what he thinks," I snap, imagining Finnick watching from the Games Headquarters. "Emma is my mentor."
Bale arches an eyebrow. "Then you vanished after our interviews, where you'd seemed like you were going to be sick. And now you're making jokes about dying people's thoughts. I can't keep up with you. One minute, you're the smiling girl at interviews, chatting with Caesar Flickerman, and then the next you're cold and distant, and then you're nearly fainting when someone gets killed and cry when you tell me Porcelain is torturing the girl from District Nine to death." He shakes his head. "I can't figure you out."
"Why do you want to figure me out, Bale?" I respond neutrally, my voice low.
"You've saved my life too, you know," he says quietly instead of answering me. "Thanks for not leaving me behind for Porcelain to kill."
"Anytime."
I finally smile at him, a genuine smile. He smiles back and the conversation fizzles away, leaving the fire crackling as the only sound.
I lay on the ground, staring up at the stars. Well, the top of the Arena anyways. It's bespeckled in glittering constellations in a rainbow of hues.
"You have two siblings right?" I ask Bale.
He nods from beside me, busy resorting our supplies. "Ursula and Sailor."
"Right." I nod too, recalling our conversation during training. I'm quiet for a moment before I glance at him. "Will you tell me about them?"
"They're great," he says simply. I listen to the noise of dried fruit packs crinkling. "Ursula loves dance. She's taking a class in school right now. Sailor wants to own his own boat one day, like dad. Oh, and Ursula loves purple. She'll wear dresses to the beach and refuse to swim, collecting shells instead. You two would probably get along, you both have a similar sense of humor."
I smile faintly. "Sounds like you love them a lot."
He's quiet, still sorting.
"What about your parents?"
"They do fishing. Well, my dad anyways. Mom doesn't work. She's in the socialite circles, a personal friend of Mayor Charlata."
I remember him saying why he volunteered. His parents said they would disown him. Some parents send their kids to training schools for the Hunger Games, and it definitely sounds like his parents might the District 4 type to do that. It would explain how good Bale is with spears. "Do you want to do fishing work like your father?"
"To be honest... I really don't know. I guess it doesn't matter what I want anymore. I'm here."
"You risked dying so that you wouldn't be disowned," I say bluntly. Then I remember his comments about my dark humor and glance at him. "Sorry... I didn't mean to sound harsh."
Bale pauses sorting, looking at me across the fire. His face glows orange and gold. "Don't worry. But... yes. I did." He doesn't elaborate. Curiosity makes me nearly ask for more of his story, but I hold my tongue. He must notice because he finally zips up the backpack and sets it aside. "What about you, Miss Redweed? What about your family?"
"Well there's a lot of people to talk about there," I say, making Bale chuckle softly. It's some of the first laughter I've heard from him in a while. The sound makes my skin prickle. "There's my mama, Dalis. Then all of my siblings: Wave, Shelly, Riptide, Coral, Captain, Seagrass, Oceanis, Sunfish, Skipper, Sandy, and Anemone." Normally there'd be a lump in my throat by now, talking about them all. But talking to Bale seems natural. Even if there are cameras probably watching every word I say.
"I can barely keep up with two siblings, I can't imagine what it must be like for you to have eleven," Bale says, cracking a smile.
"They're a lot to keep up with," I concede. "But like you said... I love them. And it's nice to help out my mom. She works making nets, and the older kids help out. I usually help to take care of the younger ones, or go fishing with Riptide. It's a bit cramped in our house, but it's kind of nice to always have someone to talk to or something always happening." I allow myself a quick smile. "It would be a shock to move to the Victor's Village and get one of those big mansions. There would probably be a Capitol nanny to look after my younger siblings."
"Who needs Capitol nannies?" Bale says half-jokingly, waving a dramatic hand. "Sounds like they have the best older sister."
Just like this morning, I smile a real, genuine smile. "Thanks."
The stars twinkle above us (well, around the rock ledge that is.) No faces are in the sky tonight.
"I'll keep watch," Bale says. "Go ahead and sleep. I'll wake you up when it's your turn."
I want to argue, but fatigue consumes me. "Thank you," I whisper, turning over in my sleeping bag.
The Arena - Day 9
"Okay, favorite color?"
"Blue. Favorite food?"
"Vanilla cake, one-hundred percent. Favorite animal?"
"Hermit crabs. They're just so cute. Favorite smell?"
"The ocean, of course. What else?"
"Just testing you."
"Okay, favorite kind of weather?"
"Sunny and warm, perfect swimming weather." I squint, looking up at the winter sun in the sky. It lacks all the yellow warmth the sun in District 4 has during the summer. "It's ironic, isn't it?"
"What is?" Bale asks, stepping beside me. We've been walking along the mountain ridge and through the trees. Nothing much has been happening all day, so Bale and I decided to go ahead and get some exercise and try to see if we can scope out a better camp.
"This arena is probably the worst one we could've gotten, being from District Four," I say, watching my breath curl in front of me. "Everything is so frozen. We'd never seen snow in person." I kick at the fluff beneath our feet, glancing back at the tracks we've left. If another Tribute sees them, it won't be good. It seems to snow lightly every night, as if the Gamemakers are helping us all to cover our tracks. Which is good. Porcelain can't track us up the mountain even if she wants to.
"Well, it beats that one a few years ago," Bale says, hoisting his backpack up, trying to get more comfortable. "Remember? That arena was especially desolate. Most of the Tributes just froze to death. At least we have all these trees."
"There was that jungle one too," I finally agree. I fold my arms. "The one where the storm happened and killed half the remaining Tributes. And then it seemed like all the others were so weak by that point, they just got picked off by jaguars and venomous insects."
"And that one kid from District Five that got eaten alive by that snake," Bale says, his voice low.
We're both silent for a moment. I close my eyes, shaking my head. I want the memory out of my mind.
"Sorry..." Bale mumbles. "I shouldn't have mentione-"
"Don't worry about it," I say quickly. I turn and keep walking. "So. Favorite fish?"
Bale doesn't respond. I turn around. He's still standing there, watching me, a quizzical expression on his face.
"What?" I ask, playing with a strap of my backpack.
"You did it again," he replies.
"Did what?"
"Got really sensitive about all this."
"Am I not supposed to?" I ask incredulously.
Bale shakes his head. "I didn't say that. I just mean... well, I'm still trying to figure you out."
"Well..." I take a step, trying to encourage him to start following me again and stop caring about this stuff. "Stop trying. C'mon, let's go. Who knows what the weather will look like in an hour." I peek up at the gray clouds above before I keep walking. Some snow wouldn't be bad, just as long as we're at a new camp with a fire by then. "Hey, Bale, you never told me about your friends."
I finally hear his footsteps. "I don't have many. I talk to Sarah Lightfoot - she works down at the wharf. Maybe you know her?"
I shake my head. "Hm-mm."
"Well she's a couple years older, so I guess that makes sense. The others are from my mom's socialite group, the kids of her friends."
It's obvious I won't know them. My family isn't wealthy or in with the more elite circles in our District. It also makes sense that I didn't know Bale before the Games, seeing as he's a year older and probably went to a special training school.
"What about you? Any friends back in Four?"
"Not really," I say honestly. I watch my boots sink into the snow as I walk. "My siblings are my friends."
He's silent for a bit, just the sound of us walking through some trees taking up the space between us. I hum to myself, pushing branches aside.
Finally, "Sea-Pearl?"
"Yeah?" I turn around, watching Bale stare at the ground as he walks before looking up at me underneath his gray, fur-lined hood.
"Can I ask a personal question? It's okay if you don't want to answer, I'll understand."
I furrow my brow. What could he want to know? "Sure."
"What happened to your father? You never mention him..." I can see Bale watching my expression closely so I quickly smile to try to reassure him I'm not mad he's asked. I try to ignore my heart panging. It's a feeling that's gotten a bit numb by now.
"He died a couple years ago," I say calmly. "He got a bad infection that wouldn't get better."
"I'm sorry," Bale tells me. And I believe him. I can see the sympathy in his eyes.
"Thanks. It's okay... We all got one another through it," I say. "My mother was strong for us. And we're strong for him." I turn quickly, walking a bit faster. "Alright, let's go. We're wasting daylight. Let's not give the Gamemakers a reason to get rid of us quite yet."
We walk and walk and walk, surprisingly not reaching the end of the Arena, traversing the seemingly endless mountains, coming across deer tracks and - at one point - human footprints. That gives us pause. I keep a throwing knife out after that, Bale's spear ever present in his hand. We keep going until the sun is hanging low in the sky. The temperature has finally begun to drop.
My feet start hitting some rocks, poking out through the snow. I keep walking, heading through a break in the trees. I shove the green, minty-scented branches from my face and freeze.
"Sea-Pearl?" Bale calls, a hint of alarm in his voice. "Are you alright? Sea-Pearl?"
He emerges beside me, and stops walking too.
Before us, out past a small, jagged cliffside is a frozen waterfall, spilling over a higher cliff. The uneven icicles look like white frosting. Below it is a frozen river, white ice mixing in with chunks, eventually leading to water. The whole thing sparkles in hues of fiery red and orange, the sun out past another mountain range.
It's beautiful.
It's strange to see something so beautiful in such a deadly place. It looks too grand, standing there as if waiting for one of us to come by and notice it. And all along it was here.
"Wow..." Bale breathes, voicing my amazement.
In all my life, I never thought I'd see anything as beautiful as the ocean. There isn't anything quite like laying on the warm sand at dusk, watching the sun sink behind the flat horizon, pink and orange waves curling up on the shore. This is a close second.
I breathe, finally tearing my eyes from the waterfall. "We should find camp. It's getting dark."
"There's bound to be something around here," Bale says, motioning to the cliffside. He points to the right, back behind some dark gray rock formations. "Let's head that way."
I glance at the frozen waterfall again. The surface shimmers as we walk past. We walk for another fifteen minutes before finding a cave, tucked back behind some evergreen trees with a snow-covered rock slanting over half the entrance. The cave is shallow enough that there won't be anything lurking in it waiting for us.
"Let's get a fire started while there's still some light," Bale says as we throw our packs down. There isn't any snow inside, just hard-packed dirt and some rocks scattered around. Perfect for building a fire. We quickly gather some branches and kindling. I watch as Bale strikes two rocks together to finally create a spark after two minutes. The fire ignites and we blow on the flames, watching as it burns up the leaves and branches.
No faces are in the sky tonight. I can't help but feel relief as we both lay across from each other, leaning against the stone walls. The flames flicker at the back of the cave. Hopefully it's too far back for any Tribute wandering around to notice.
"You never answered my question," I say, breaking the silence between us.
Bale raises his eyebrows as the fire hisses. "What?"
"You don't remember?" I say, mock-hurt. "It was important."
"I'm sorr-" he begins before I smirk. "Oh," he says. His repentant expression melts away. "You're joking. I should've known." He smiles.
"What's your favorite fish?" I ask him.
"Hard one, but I think sailfish. They're just really fast."
"Good choice," I say with an approving nod. "I think mine would have to be redtail surfperch. They just look so cool with those red fins. But yellowtail tastes better."
Bale reaches for his pack, unzipping it. "Well, we don't have fish but we do have some freeze-dried jerky and apple slices."
"Sounds just like a Capitol feast," I say as he tosses me the dried apple slices. I take out a couple and we trade again, and I take some jerky. I've never liked beef jerky before - we don't have it much in 4 - but right now it seems like the best food ever. As we munch quietly on the dinner, sipping from our own water bottles, an owl hoots outside. I pause to listen to it. It's a pretty sound.
I don't know why, but tears well up in my eyes. Maybe I've been saving up the tears and now they're just trying to come out, but I fight it. I cried when I told Bale about Porcelain, but it wasn't like this. The last time I wanted to cry this much was after the Tribute Parade. I fight the tears, biting my lip, hoping Bale doesn't notice.
But of course, he does.
"Sea-Pearl?"
"I'm f-fine," I stutter, cursing myself for not being able to keep myself together. I wipe at my eyes. "Just some fuzz or something."
Even through my blearly vision I can tell Bale doesn't believe me one bit. He's quiet. I sniffle, clearing my throat.
"Oh, who am I kidding..." I sigh, glancing down at my gloves, picking at them. "What's going to happen to us?"
"We're going to spend the night here, safe and-"
"We're not safe," I interrupt. "We're not safe anywhere here." And suddenly I understand why Luna gave up. Because no where in this Arena is safe. One would think we'd get that, being in the arena and all, but it only hits me now. Only one person is getting out of this place alive. And chances are it won't be me. "This cave is warm and secluded, and it seems so distant from all that." I motion outside. The owl has stopped hooting. "Where half of our allies died and a girl got tortured to death and we hunted other Tributes, innocent children." My voice is getting louder with hysteria. I know I should be quiet in case predators are around but I don't care. "Bale, don't you get it? Even if we live, we're already dead! We died back there when we watched the boy from District Eight get killed! We died when we became accomplices in murder!"
Bale doesn't respond, just staring at me.
And then I begin to cry. I let the tears out, feeling them drip down my face and splatter onto my cargo pants. I feel so small here in this massive arena. I'm nothing but another Tribute to the Capitol. I mean nothing to them, except either a Victor to parade around or provide an entertaining death on television.
It's like Bale can read my mind. "Please don't," he says.
"Don't what?" My voice is strained in that way it gets when I cry.
"Don't stop caring," he responds.
I have to fight to not roll my eyes. It sounds so pathetic. There doesn't seem to be much to care about at this point.
"You're not dead, Sea-Pearl. And your family, I'm sure, wants you back."
I sniffle again, the tears drying up by now. I wipe them off my face before my eyelashes can freeze. "Was I an idiot to volunteer?"
"I don't think so," Bale replies. "Your motives were better than mine anyways."
"They aren't the same thing," I argue, scowling at him. Then my expression softens. "Sorry."
"It's okay," Bale responds, giving me a sympathetic smile.
"How are you so calm?" I ask him, trying to calm down. "You always seem so... well, not like this."
"I got some practice growing up with my parents," he responds simply, shrugging.
I swallow, trying to imagine Bale back in District 4. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault," he just says. Bale pulls out a pack of food from his backpack. "We have a few dried strawberries left, if you want them."
I pause before meeting his eyes. "Let's share."
He smiles and takes the four dried strawberries from the package, a treat we'd been saving. He moves over to me, motioning to the spot beside me questioningly. I nod and he sits down, handing me two strawberries. I eat one, hearing the fruit crunching in my mouth, savoring the sweetness. It's comforting to have Bale next to me.
"I'm sorry I've been so... hostile," I say, facing him.
He shrugs again. "We're not in the best of situations. I understand."
"It was still wrong of me," I continue. "You deserve a better District ally. In case you haven't noticed, you're somewhat of a Golden Boy here."
He regards me cooly before smiling teasingly. "Was that an insult?"
I smile back. "No, I think I meant it as a compliment, actually." He'd make a great Victor, a voice in the back of my head says. And maybe I'm just tired or maybe being so close to Bale is making me crazy because suddenly all I can think about is the night he kissed me, and when he tried to kiss me in the forest.
"Bale?"
"Sea-Pearl?"
"Can I kiss you?" I don't even realize I'm looking at his lips until I force myself to look at his eyes. The ones the same color as the ocean.
"Please," he mumbles.
This kiss is different from the first one. That one was cold and surprising. But nice. And this one is just as nice, but it's warmer and closer. The arena doesn't matter anymore, the cold doesn't matter, the Capitol cameras don't matter. Everything is Bale.
Everything is me and Bale.
The Arena - Day 10
My eyes slowly open to morning sun shining through the evergreen trees outside the cave. The light is in speckles, shimmering. Frozen drops of water hang from the branches like sparkling glass.
Near me, Bale rolls over whispering something in his sleep. I curl up in my sleeping bag, watching him lay his head on his arm, jacket hood flopping behind his head. Thinking of last night makes a faint smile appear on my face. Remembering the feeling of his lips and his arms around me. Cuddling and laying my head on his shoulder as he stroked my hair. Crawling into my sleeping bag, and moving next to his, falling asleep curled up against each other.
The fire has gone out. I don't even remember when we went to sleep. When did we stop whispering? I remember him touching my wrist, my fingers tracing patterns on his palm.
What day is this? Day ten? I sigh, snuggling down further in to my sleeping bag. I left home sixteen days ago.
What is my family doing right now? I wonder if Mama has been staying up to watch, making I'm sure okay. Hopefully my siblings are still going to school. I wouldn't want them to miss too many days. I reach into my jacket sleeve, holding the pearls on my bracelet and the elaborate knots holding them there. When I close my eyes, I can see Seagrass' face. Her big blue eyes and blonde hair. Her big smiles and the way she would always hug me every night before we went to sleep.
I just wish I could see them one more time... The thought hurts, so I automatically reach out for Bale's hand.
A footstep outside the cave sounds.
I tense, my heart beating quickly. Branches scratch. Another footstep, this time closer. Chills cover my skin. Someone has just entered our hideout, and is probably staring at me and Bale.
Please don't let it be Porcelain... Nearly silent feet make their way towards us hesitantly. They sound too light to be Porcelain's. But whoever this is could still be dangerous. I keep my eyes shut, feigning sleep, trying to slowly reach my throwing knives in my sleeping bag. Bale breathes deeply, the intruder pausing for a moment.
A few seconds pass as I try to unzip the bag of knives.
And then the footsteps continue, walking over to our packs. The person begins digging around them quietly. I open my eyes just a bit, looking through my eyelashes. Their hood is up, so I can't see who it is, and their back is to me, obscuring the District number on their sleeve. The person has a small, brown leather satchel around their torso.
My fingers touch a knife, and I curl the cool metal into my fist.
Before I know it, I'm sitting up, and pointing my knife at them. "What are you doing?"
The person gasps, and freezes.
Bale stirs. "Sea-Pearl? What's going o-"
The person grabs a small bag out of one of the backpacks, a packet I recognize as one containing medical bandages and ointment. And then they turn, sprinting out the tunnel. Bale sits up groggily, eyes open with alarm.
"Stop!" I screech, pushing out of my sleeping bag and leaping to my feet, chasing after them. The person is quicker than me, but suddenly they step on a patch of fresh ice I hadn't noticed. They scream, falling into a snowbank.
I manage to smile, walking up to the person with their head buried in the white fluff. I hold my knife out, Bale's footsteps start to sound behind me. The stranger lifts their head out, still holding the stolen bag. I watch expectantly as they turn around.
Their hood slips off, revealing red hair and terrified eyes.
"Amarella?"
Back in the cave, I hand the District 6 girl a piece of beef jerky which she hungrily eats. "Thanks."
Nodding silently, I toss her another blanket. "How did you find us?"
She shrugs, sighing. Amarella picks up the second blanket, pulling it around her shoulders. "I found some footprints that weren't completely buried by snow. I-I didn't know it was you guys!" I nod, hoping I look warm and understanding. It took some convincing that we weren't bloodthirsty Careers. "I've stolen from just about everyone... That's how I got my bag, you know. I took it a while back from the girl from Ten." Amarella looks down at her hands, picking at her gloves. Her voice is ladened with guilt. "She died in that blizzard."
I glance at Bale. So she was the cannon during the storm we'd missed.
Amarella sighs, look up at us. "I've been stealing food from the other Tributes up here. The boys from Nine and Seven have been staying up here. They were in an alliance for a couple days, but I don't think anymore. Other than that, I've been setting up some trip-wires. And then of course, I found you guys this morning. But I really didn't know it was you guys, your hoods were up. I figured you might be them again, until I saw your packs."
Bale rubs his hand together, slipping on mittens. "Hey, not to interrupt, but do you think that you can make a fire? You were really fast back in Training."
She grins, laughing. "Please... It's second nature. And even better-" she reaches into the satchel and takes out a flint.
I smile. It probably doesn't take ten seconds for Amarella to turn our small pile of dry wood and create a small flame after we collect more kindling. I grin, staring at the orange stripes devouring the leaves. "I don't know how you do it."
Bale smiles, putting his hands near the fire. Amarella snuggles closer into her blankets, holding our last piece of jerky.
"Thanks for letting me stay," she says simply.
"You're welcome," I respond happily.
"Just out of curiosity... Are you two the reason that the girl from District One's camp is destroyed?" Amarella asks, adjusting her red hair.
I giggle, an odd sound I haven't heard in a while. "Guilty... We had... some issues. So we left and destroyed the camp first."
"I wish we'd gotten more food," Bale says quietly.
"Here," Amarella says, passing the beef jerky to us.
I push her hand back gently. "Please eat it. We have enough food." She looks thinner than she did back in the Capitol, which is understandable if she's been surviving off of stolen scraps from the other Tributes. It's a testament to how resourceful she is that she's lived this long on her own.
"But-"
"We have more food, Amarella. We'll be fine. Eat."
She murmurs something before biting into the meat.
I breathe in, letting the frosty air fill my lungs. The fire crackles, sparks falling on the dirt floor occasionally. Something swells in my heart, something calming and peaceful. It takes me a moment to remember what it is.
Hope.
