Chapter Twelve—I Will Remember You

"She left the portal open," Spike said in his eureka moment.

He went over and over everything that had happened in the last few years, had tallied who had lived, and who had died. The why's and how's were listed in columns, what group each person belonged to, who was with them when they died. He included every possible clue, explanation, what they were and how they lived.

Looking at everything that had happened while they were ensconced at Wolfram and Hart made him think that he was on to something. It had to be something that they did while there. It couldn't have been Buffy and her gang of do-gooders. Not that they hadn't caused chaos in their realm. They had conjured up enough trouble on their own. This had to be related to being at that law firm.

Papers littered every surface, but he had a system. Things were hung haphazardly on the walls, identifying each person, every incident, every slight that could have effected what had happened.

He didn't remember if Illyria had actually closed that portal she had used to travel to her realm. What if she hadn't? She had been distraught with learning that she was no longer the god of everything.

Gathering up his papers into a neat stack, he reached for his phone to call Percy and the dark slayer. They needed to be ready for this if it was so. They also needed to check out where she had opened the portal in the first place. Maybe he was wrong about this. He wished that Fred were here to bounce off theories.

Spike quickly took out a pen and pad of paper, attempting to list all the places he remembered where portals had been opened. There had been Illyria's, the one that jerkface had opened to transport them to the tree, the one that Angel had mistakenly opened to try to find his brat, the one that the asshole Holtz had opened to travel with the brat to Quortoth. The one that had been opened while they were fighting the horde of demons attempting to take down the Circle of the Black Thorn. Had Wes opened one at any time? He'd have to ask him. The one that had sucked Fred to Lorne's home planet. The one that they opened to get to Lorne's home planet to rescue the cheerleader. The one that had sucked the cheerleader in. Los Angeles was definitely a hotspot of activity when it came to portals. Why wasn't Sunnydale? Was the Hellmouth an influence or had they never noticed when these things happened? The First definitely had never opened a portal, or had he? Where had all those demons come from? Or was the Hellmouth just a great, big portal? He wished he understood the physics of it all. Fred would. She was gone. Wesley might, but he was half way around the world. Giles might, but his hold on the witch was tenuous at best. Giles was the closest and not dead, at least yet.

A phone off in the distance rang. Let Dawn answer it, he thought. He didn't need anyone to break his concentration.

"We gotta go," Dawn announced as she entered the room.

Great, he thought. Another tragedy, another body. He hated being human.

"Who?" he asked as he picked up his stack of research along with a few key books.

"Who? What? Oh, that was Wes. We gotta go. He thinks he knows what to do."

Percy was quicker on the switch or did he only have part of the puzzle solved. Dammit, he hated it when he didn't know exactly who the bad guy was. Having something solid to pummel would make all this much, much easier to handle.

"His big brain finally figured out what to do? Is it gonna get anyone else killed? I think we've suffered enough losses to last the next fifty years."

"He didn't exactly explain what he found out. He just said he needed everyone, I mean everyone, in LA asap. Including Cordy and Willow."

Just what we need, he concluded. The witch goes off the deep end as they are traveling to the city of sin.

"Portal," Dawn smiled as she raised her finger to point off in the distance.

Great, another portal. The worst portal that had ever opened. The one that had swallowed up Buffy and had started him down the path of redemption. He'd forgotten about that one.

He'd ask the best expert around.

"Dawn, what would happen if a portal were left open?"

She scrunched up her face, unbelieving at what he said. "You can't leave a portal open. It opens, it closes. There's a time limit."

Spike waved his papers in front of her face.

"What if there isn't? The portal that opened in that alley was open for at least twelve hours. What if someone managed to leave one open by accident?"

"Prove it."

He didn't have a degree in this crap. He was all about the poetry and writing and literature. Science wasn't his specialty.

"Grab any books that talk about portals and bring them with us."

Dawn flipped her hair at him, but still followed his orders. Good kid.

Willow's hair was white, but looks could be deceiving. Giles wasn't taking any chances. She'd fooled him once before and had almost killed Cordelia. His leg throbbed thinking about how much he'd let his guard down.

She looked too peaceful sitting in a lotus pose on the floor. He had wanted to poke her, attempt to make her listen to him, if just to figure out what in hell was possessing her.

There had to be something possessing her. This wasn't Willow, his Willow. Even when Willow had tried to kill him because of her grief at Tara's death, he could still tell it was Willow. This was not Willow. If it wasn't her, then where was she? Was she fighting this?

"Why don't you believe me?" Willow started, opening her eyes to bore into his.

"Believe you?"

Now they'd go round and round, almost like fake Willow was attempting to figure out what his strategy was. He'd played this game before. He wouldn't let her get the upper hand.

"Believe that I'm good, strong. Believe that you can let me go."

So that's what she was trying now. To be let go. That wasn't going to happen. The spell that he worked up had to work this time. He had to believe that it would work.

"I don't think that is going to happen."

"I can show you things that you have only dreamed of doing."

Now it's the bribing. She had already tried to bribe him, with her body that time. Now it was going to be with something she thought he wanted.

"I can also tell you what is going to happen. I'm sure you don't want anyone else hurt, now do you?"

Now with the threats. What kind of power did she really have? Or was some being just piggybacking his consciousness on her. He had to break whatever hold this creature had on Willow.

"I assure you that I do not want anyone else hurt or killed."

"You don't know what you will face. It's stronger, faster, more cunning, has survived thousands of years on its wits alone. You could have that power and more if you just let me go."

Oh, thank you so much for that information. If it had survived thousands of years, there might be something written down at some point about it. It might be related to Illyria or any of those other gods that had been interfering these past few years.

"Maybe I like everything just the way it is right now."

"With everyone dead?" Willow shot back, venom pouring from her veins.

He could feel the temperature drop. There was an electrical charge just building off in the distance. He's have to concentrate just to dissipate that. Wouldn't want to blow up the whole building before he could actually help Willow.

Reaching in his pocket, Giles pulled out a sphere and started chanting. The look of horror on Willow's face said it all. Maybe this time something would work. It had to work. Of course, how could he prove it would work?

Unfortunately the electrical charge didn't really dissipate as much as he would have liked. There was only so much that he could do. He was only so strong.

The sphere was heating up in his hand. He hoped that it wouldn't heat up so much that he could not touch it.

"I am going to kill you," Willow growled as her head snapped back.

"You indeed could try. But I doubt you will be able to."

He tried to keep his voice calm, like he was in control now, but he didn't feel in control. He hadn't felt in control of anything in a long time. His friends were either dead or possessed or in another part of the world. Only Spike and Dawn were around, and that was because they had to do the research.

Giles had at least ten slayers guarding Cordelia around the clock. The fact that Angel wasn't a factor in protecting Cordelia initially had made Giles quite angry. He had the strength of a human now. He had to remember that. Of course, he could help out. But when it came to making sure that Cordelia would survive, Angel could not help. Willow had shown him that.

Willow was shaking in her chair, arms pinned behind her, held with enchanted chains that he himself had prepared. He wondered how her body had stood being held this way for over three days without collapsing.

The spell was working, or at least it looked like it was working. Her hair had turned black, her eyes had too, veins popped out all over. He hoped it didn't kill her, but this was his last resort. He couldn't leave her being possessed for very long. Her body couldn't stand it much longer either.

Giles watched as whatever was harming her slowly arose from her body. It was very similar to what he had observed when Ethan had been possessed. Had it been the same evil?

The screams went on and on. He tried to tune them out, but it wasn't working. It was physically starting to hurt everywhere also. If this didn't work quickly, he wasn't sure whether he could maintain this.

The black disappeared finally, the sphere started to cool and Willow's head drooped down. Her hair turned red again, but that didn't mean anything. She could fool him easily. Well, not so easily now since he'd been fooled once before; Cordelia had almost paid her life with his misjudgment on Willow's circumstances.

"What did you just do?"

Dawn had entered the room without his knowledge. She proved herself to be sneaky, since he had warded the room so that no one could enter.

"I may have saved her. Please tell me that I did."

"And doomed yourself," Spike interjected.

Giles looked down at his hand. It had turned a ghastly shade of grey. And he had lost most of the feeling in it. He was surprised that he could still hold the sphere upright.

"Oh. That wasn't what I had expected."

As his body started to slide off the chair where he had perched himself, he wondered if he had miscalculated. There was nothing in the books about repercussions. Had the evil that had possessed Willow migrated to him? He didn't feel that it had. Spike grabbed the sphere away before it crashed to the ground. He quickly placed it down, shaking his hand like he had picked up a hot pot.

"Rupert, that thing burned me. Why didn't you stop?"

Spike was right. Why didn't he stop? He hadn't really felt the temperature of the sphere. He was concentrating on freeing Willow.

"Willow," he managed to get out.

The scream that escaped Willow didn't really matter at that moment to Giles. He was slowly slipping down, hoping that he wouldn't hit his head, but not realizing that he may have put himself in danger. He hoped that Dawn and Spike could take care of it. They were his only hope.


"Oh crap, what in hell was he thinking?"

Buffy had entered the room just as Giles had made it to the floor. Dawn had caught him at the last moment so he wouldn't end up with another concussion.

"Saving the witch," Spike called as he crept over to Willow.

She seemed to be unconscious. That didn't mean she still wasn't possessed, Buffy thought. How could she tell? Giles was out for the count.

"Got a call from Percy and Faith. We have to go. And they have to come with us."

It always took Buffy a moment to figure out what Spike was saying. At least he only stuck with calling Wes Percy.

Dawn lowered Giles's head to the ground. "Cordy and Angel too. Wes said."

How was he the boss of everything now? Everyone was taking orders from Wes and not her. Hey, she could get used to that. No more Boss Buffy. She could just swing at some demons, go party and live her life. Only it never turned out that way.

"Gotta bring the books. I still think it's a portal."

"But portals can be used safely."

Buffy wished her sister couldn't create a portal. They were dangerous. They sucked you through to places you didn't want to be. Or brought you back to somewhere that you had wanted to forget.

Having just arrived from London, Buffy had wanted to take a shower and freshen up. The way Spike was bouncing around on his toes told her that he had info and they needed to listen.

"Still think it's a portal."

"Do we have any idea what kind of portal, can we close it, did something come through?"

Spike turned to look at her. "What do you mean what kind of portal? Are there different kinds?"

Buffy thought for a moment. She had no idea where she had come up with what kind of portal. There had to be different kinds. The kind that sucked you to different dimensions, the kind that sucked you into heaven, the kind that released evil. There had to be different kinds. How could there not be? Maybe she was crazy.

"You're the expert, Spike. I just work here."

She looked over to where Willow hung from her chair. She so did not want to release the red head. What if Giles wasn't successful?

"We can't take her through in the chair," Dawn pointed out.

Spike and Buffy looked at each other, then at Giles.

"Maybe?" she asked Spike.

"I so don't want to get thrown against a wall when we're on the other side."

"Ditto. The chair comes too."

Dawn managed to hoist Giles up and dragged him over to where she wanted to create the portal.

"Not a portal," he managed to mumble out.

As Dawn chanted and the portal opened, Buffy managed to pick up one side of the chair as Spike picked up the other.

"We are so screwed," Buffy announced as they slowly walked into the swirling mass in front of them. So screwed.


Angel's hand lay on Cordelia's side. He hated having to move her, but they had to meet Wes and Faith. He was hoping they had news, could solve this and put Cordy back together. He felt that she was just floating off in the ether instead of at his side, where she belonged.

"Wes needs us. I gotta move you. Dawn will be here shortly."

Cordy didn't move. This was worse than the last coma. Then she had been possessed, now she had just almost been killed by a friend. Not that it was Willow who had done it. It couldn't have been. He hoped that Giles had some success in helping Willow.

Going back to Los Angeles wasn't thrilling him. He thought he had left all that craziness behind him when they had traveled to London. Would it be good to be back on familiar stomping grounds?

Cordy's hand started heating up, but he concluded it was just because his was. Only now it wasn't comfortable holding it. He wrenched his away just as Cordy took a big gasp, sat up and wildly looked around.

"No, no, no. Wes, no. It won't work," she gasped as she looked around the room, finally landing on Angel and his very sore hand.

"Your fault."

Great, now what did he do? He was just sitting here holding her hand.

"We have to go."

"Damn right we have to go. I have to go stop his crazy ass from doing what I think he's going to do. And that other crazy ass that I am so going to kick when I see him again. Why did they ever have to know each other?"

Cordy pulled at her hair, then looked down at her gown.

"Please tell me you have clothes. I am not going to show up to this clusterfuck looking like this."

Well, she did look a bit crazed with her hair that was standing out and the hospital gown. No makeup. Of course, she still looked good without any on, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Did she just curse like a sailor? He wished he knew what she was talking about. Two so-called crazy ass people did not thrill him one bit.

"There might be something," Angel stated as he looked through drawers. Luckily he found a set of clothes that Dawn must have brought just in case. He'd have to hug Dawn later for that.

As he turned around, he noticed that Cordy was crying, like really crying. Now what did he do?

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. You just don't understand right now. You will. I just wanted to apologize in advance."

He took her hand now, hoping that it wasn't hot to the touch.

"Nothing's happening."

"It will. It will. Wes and Doyle are going to fix this, but no one is going to like it. It has to be done."

Cordy grabbed his head, lowered her lips to his and devoured him.


"I hope whatever you have planned doesn't involve dying."

Faith had to be blunt because if she wasn't, he would be the one dying and she'd be the one attempting to pick up the pieces. Seemed like that always happened around the two of them.

His look of anguish said it all. There would be death and destruction.

"Dammit all to hell and back, what are you planning?"

"It's not what I'm planning. I told you I was going to fix this. But this isn't my plan. I'm just here to help out."

"Then whose plan is it?"

Wes sat back into the comfortable chair he had deposited himself. He looked bone weary. So tired that if she were quiet for just a moment, he'd fall asleep for a long time. She had been that way too many times to count.

"I want to know what to look for. I need to know what I'm fighting."

Wes looked up at her in misery.

"Please just promise me one thing. Listen to me next time. Really listen. You have the ability to fix things. Just remember that. Of course, you won't. Maybe on some level you will."

What the hell was he talking about? Listen to him next time? It's almost like he knew what was going to happen in the future? Was she not going to listen to him at some later date? Then it hit her. The amulet, the begging for her to fix something, Doyle appearing before them. This was all Doyle by the looks of it. He found a way to fix all this. Dammit.

"You can't do this. It won't work. You cannot guarantee that it can be fixed."

Wes grabbed her hand and pulled her down into his lap. The look on his face was fierce, like he was trying to memorize her whole being in just one stare.

"Just promise me," he whispered.

"I can't promise you anything because I don't exactly know what Doyle has planned. If it is what I think it is, there won't be anything to promise."

She would have thought that he would grab her and dive in with a kiss to end all kisses. That he would cling to her because of what was going to happen in just a few short minutes. The fierceness in his eyes said it all. He was attempting to memorize every single thing about her. She didn't want to lose him when she had just found him.

She held on for dear life. She just hoped she remembered. She hoped she remembered.

"What if he's wrong?"


Doyle knew that he might be wrong, but he also knew he needed a way to fix what was done. Someone had messed with the timeline. None of what had happened here now was supposed to happen. Vail had started the chain reaction by bringing Wes back to life. Maybe it had started even sooner. Maybe when Cordy had ascended. It had to be something big, major. It had to have been Skip or Sajahn or someone who knew how to jump dimensions with ease. Both had done so, particularly Sajahn. He had brought that bastard Holtz to the present. Could he have changed it all by doing that? The damn amulet wasn't going to give him much of a choice. It would send them all back to wherever it thought they should be. Spike was sent to where he was supposed to be. If they ended up in the future, then they would all be screwed.

The only issue was Cordy could still be gone. Hopefully she'd end up with him, which made him somewhat happy. But she wouldn't be with Angel, the actual person that she loved. He knew he was second best. He'd take second best if everyone else survived.

As he turned the amulet over and over in his hands, he hoped all the players arrived soon. Holland was coming for them all. If this all turned out the way he had intended, Wolfram and Hart would crumble, all would survive, Wes would be rid of those pesky powers and Cordy would be back to manipulate it all. Those were the days.


"Why is Willow out cold?" Dawn asked as they arrived through the portal.

Soon Giles would have to talk with Dawn about the portals. It was starting to attract attention. Not the kind of attention she'd want to have unfortunately. It wasn't good at all. Spike and all his talk of portals and not closing them made him think what he knew in his mind about them. Somehow his mind kept going back to the fact that Dawn should not be able to perform this maneuver. Oh dear lord, what if it had been Dawn that had started this?

Whatever Wesley had planned, it looked like almost all of them were there. He certainly didn't know where Wesley and Faith were, but the rest had arrived safely. Even Cordelia had awoken, but looked distressed, clinging to Angel as they made it through another portal. Spike paced around, looking for a bad guy to pop out from behind a door at any moment.

"Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

From behind him, several others joined their group. Xander was among them. Oh my, thank goodness Willow was out. He didn't think she'd be able to take seeing him again like this.

Anya stood beside Xander, looking around like it was normal for a dead person to be present. Fred, the girl from Angel's group, angrily looked at the dark haired man beside her. Hopefully she knew what was being planned. The shorter guy with longer hair hovered over her, ready to swing out at anything that harmed the girl.

"Glad you could make it. Where the hell is that damn Englishman?"

Gunn joined the group from outside just as Wes and Faith descended the stairs. Why this group?

"Doyle," Wes acknowledged.

"Pryce. Glad you and the slayer could join us."

Buffy winced a bit at that.

So there must be some reason why all these people or dead people had walked or portaled to Angel's place of business. The fact that there was still faint markings of some sort of ritual didn't make Giles feel any better.

Wes surveyed everyone who was in the room. Faith, Angel, Cordy, Fred, Gunn, Lilah and Lindsey were all the LA contingent. Buffy, Giles, Xander, Willow, Dawn, Spike and Anya were all present too. Did Connor need to be here? Where was he? Just then the boy practically flew in the door, a spring in his step.

"Show's on the road. Someone or some things are coming."

Doyle had used him as a lookout.

"I don't have time to explain. Just understand that if I don't do this, there will be an apocalypse. Just fix this, OK? Don't die. Wes man I'm depending on you to not make that happen."

"Let's do this."

"Do what?"

"What the hell?"

"Who's in charge?'

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

The last voice was Spike. He was their ace in the hole. The reason why they were going to be able to do this in the first place. He could save them all.

"Spike," Doyle started, swinging the amulet in his fingers.

"Oh no, no. What in hell do you expect from me? I've already died twice. Third time is the charm? Whatever it is, I am not signing up for it."

"You don't have a choice. Whomever brought you back with that amulet didn't realize that it belonged to Sajahn. He could jump dimensions with this, alter time for his own benefit."

Wes knew what it was now.

"What? That bastard had this on him the whole time," Angel growled.

"And gave it up willingly to Wolfram and Hart when he ended up in this time with Holtz," Lilah finished. "Well, not necessarily willingly, but in the end."

How on earth had she taken the amulet from Sajahn? Wes never understood her power over other beings. She somehow had manipulated the situation to her advantage. Or maybe had caused this all to happen in the first place.

"Not my fault, lover. I didn't take it myself. Holtz did. We acquired it from him."

Connor didn't exactly realize what everyone was talking about, not having the memories from his past that Wes did. If they went back to where he thought it would send them, then he'd still not have the memories. Good for Angel. Not necessarily good for the rest of them.

"Let's get this over with before Holland Manners makes an appearance."

Doyle held out the amulet for Spike to take. The vampire hesitated at first, but took it in his hands, then placed it around his neck.

"Well, here goes nothing."

Faith's hand held tight to his, squeezing his to the point of hurting. He didn't want to let go either. He knew it would come down to this. One of them had to remember. It would all go back to the way it was. Angel and Spike would be vampires. Fred and Xander would be alive. Faith would be in Cleveland. All would be well, somewhat. He prayed that she would remember something, anything. He knew that if there was anyone who would, it would be Faith. She was too stubborn.


Spike thought he had burned up in a fiery death in that pit in Sunnydale. He wasn't burned up, just noncorporal. Walking around the halls of the damn law firm with no one to talk to was just crap. At least that scientist Fred was working on getting him back. Not that he wanted to be back. He was perfectly fine just floating around, annoying Peaches. It would be nice though to actually touch something, maybe even the cute scientist that was staring at her computer screen.

"Well?"

"Not sure what to think. You shouldn't be here at all. I don't know how to make you corporal."

Crap, just what he needed, to be a ghostie haunting the halls of an evil law firm. Maybe he'd go and annoy Angel just because.

"If anyone can work this out, it's you."

Spike noticed out of the corner of his eye that weasel who worked with Fred glare at him. No love lost there. He could tell that the man was jealous of him, although he wasn't sure why. He'd love to chase the man around a bit just to scare him. Maybe later.

Later, when he finally did become corporeal, it all came back to him. Damn, he thought. Damn Doyle and his theories. Looks like he'd be here to save the day after all. Encountering the cheerleader, he realized that she knew also. Two of them. Only two of them. They needed reinforcements.


Wes could not believe that Cordelia had finally woken up. It was a dream come true. They thought it was a lost cause, although he really did wish he could remember exactly why she was in a coma in the first place. His thoughts on it were dim at best. He would ask her later if she remembered anything. There were holes in his memory that had been bothering him.

"Whoa, you shaved. Like the look."

Of course he shaved. Why on earth would he not?

"Not sure I like the whole evil law firm vibe."

"We are not evil."

"Really?" Cordy asked, leaning against his desk.

When had she gotten more beautiful? He always wondered if he had pursued her instead of making her his best friend. Would she even had looked his way?

"Oh please," she replied, like she could read his mind.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," she said, flashing her big smile his way. Distraction that usually worked on him.

She was avoiding his question, but he didn't really care at that moment. Here she was, alive and insulting him, just the way it should be. He had missed her fiercely.

"We need to talk."

"About?" he asked as he arose from his desk.

Walking to talk to her face to face, he also noticed that she smelled heavenly. Much better than she did while she had laid in the hospital in a coma. Angel had instructed them to take good care of her. He wondered if they had.

"Yeah, well. It's like this. You need to get a clue, mister."

Oh and here it goes. She'd tell him what he needed to do, what he needed to change. Just like the old Cordy he knew and loved.

"Lives are at stake. If you screw this up, so help me I will come down and slap you silly."

Huh? What on earth was she talking about? Come down from where?

"You have the best mojo around. If you don't use it correctly, so help me."

She was working herself into a frenzy. He could see the tears starting to form in her big eyes. Wes could never resist when Cordy cried.

Gathering her close, he held her as the tears started to flow. Oh lord, why did she do this? She was a strong, beautiful woman, who was blubbering in his arms.

"Please remember," she whispered in his ear. "Please."

She turned her head to his, face damp from her tears. Looking into her eyes, he knew that she was serious. What he didn't expect was her kiss. They hadn't even touched each other that way for years. Sure, the last kiss they had shared had gone quiet well after the disaster of the first. But this kiss was a kiss of sorrow, a kiss that he would always remember.

He remembered everything.


As Cordy passed on the vision, Angel remembered everything. He remembered tricking his friends, killing most of them in the end. He remembered them coming back to life, remembered some of them dying again. He remembered turning human, finally. It was something he thought that he had wanted, craved sometimes. Now he wasn't so sure. It was all a jumbled mess in his brain right then.

Cordy turned to leave, like she had a hair appointment. She was saying goodbye one last time. He surely didn't want her to leave him like this. He needed her help, keep him out of trouble. Something was wrong though. She had disappeared quickly after passing on the vision. As she stood in the middle of the room, she snapped her fingers loudly, like that could make her disappear. Only she didn't.

"What the hell is going on?" she growled at no one in particular.

"Problem?" he asked as he made his way over to her.

The phone did not ring like it had before. Was she really dead?

"Ok, the phone is supposed to ring, you turn to answer it, I make my dramatic exit, the end. What the hell?"

"Yeah, I turn to answer the phone," he said as he made his way closer, "then you go poof, they tell me you're dead, we mourn you and go on with our lives. Except you left me with a vision that made no freaking sense at all. I get all my friends killed, except for Spike, who is still here to annoy me."

"Yeah, about that."

He stood over her, breathing heavily even though he didn't need to breath. Angel wanted to ring her neck, if just for a moment. Only he couldn't as he looked into her eyes. She was scared.

"You remember?"

"Yep."

"Oh shit."

Author Notes: OK, this is almost done. I have to tie up all the loose ends. There are too many to count right now. I had boxed myself into a corner. I know I'll miss something. If I do, my apologies. I want to finish this so I can go and complete some WIPs I have lingering out there. Thanks to all who have stuck with this series. It's been a crazy ride. Not sure if I'm done with the universe yet. Just know that I will finish this soon. I have to!