A/N: This is set almost two years after Gaara raped Sakura.
Gaara won when Deidara tried to capture him. Suna was demolished and had to be rebuilt. Sakura was sent with others to help with the wounded and rebuilding efforts. Then she returned to the leaf. Sasuke Uchiha died trying to destroy Konoha, and Kakashi is Hokage.
And the most important detail… Gaara still has Shukaku. Second most important would have to be that over the last 2-4 years, joint operations between Konoha and Suna have wiped out the Akatsuki completely. Yes, that includes Madara.
In The Monster Within, Gaara and Sakura were 19, and here they are 21 years old… approximately.
Thanks to The Shadow Moon, hyuugahinata247, HahynGirl, gunitatsuhiko, myao (ANON), RiverDarkness, minniemousemom, panda6374, StarKiss666 and Illusions11 for reviewing chapter 11. ^_^
Enjoy!
Chapter 12 – Confessions.
Sakura Haruno hesitated, looking into those diamond eyes as she stopped racing toward Gaara. He didn't attack, just staring at her, as if deciding what to do. She licked her parched lips, and started to move slowly toward him again, her heart racing. He was growling softly, like a wild animal being approached by a stranger they both feared and wanted to attack. Still, he didn't attack, waiting to see what she was doing.
Sakura took one step at a time, ignoring the stench of blood on the air, and focusing on the low tones he was emitting. They were oddly calming to her, even though she should fear him, although they could be easily interpreted as the warnings before his intention to attack her. But still, he did not move.
As the pinkette got closer, she saw the pained expression on his face. It was barely recognisable through the transformation, and despite the grotesque twisting created by Shukaku, she did not feel compelled to hate this man. Somewhere deep inside, he recognised her, and was attempting to restrain himself. She had no intention of fighting him when he was in this form, she wouldn't stand a chance. They had both grown so much since the first time she'd seen him like this, but no matter how much more powerful she was, even after all the training from Tsunade, he was still the faster.
So she kept her advance toward him as smooth as possible, with no sudden movements, her face impassive. Even though Gaara had no intention of harming her, Shukaku was clearly another matter. Sakura wanted to start talking to him, like she had when she'd talked him out of raping her, but swallowed heavily, uncertain what to say. He was eyeing her off and her ninja instincts were screaming at her to defend herself. She ignored them.
"Gaara…"
She kept her voice low and barely audible. It was all she could think of to say as he responded with another soft growl. This was different to the other growls, almost communicative. He was so still, so statuesque, that it surprised her that he wasn't meditating or sleeping with his eyes open.
Finally, only three feet from him, she slowed to a stop, trying to discern his intentions from his face, those eyes. She had completely forgotten that only a few feet away lay the shredded bodies of the rogue Shinobi of Ame. Their fate was of their own doing. She cared only for the tortured soul in front of her.
"Gaara," she said in the same low tone. "Gaara I'm here."
His body jerked and she forced herself not to jump back. He was bordering on his control now, and she knew that once again, her voice was working on him. So she started talking again, in the same tone and using his name as she assured him she was not here to harm him. Sakura waited until he growled back at her before moving toward him again. He lowered his transformed body, like a submissive wild cub who was accepting her into its family.
Sakura reached out her arm as she drew up next to him, only inches from his face. She held a trembling hand up to the kanji symbol as she murmured his name, and the outer shell of the partially transformed Shukaku fell away like sand. Like a crushing wave, it collapsed around them, and spilled out over the desert floor. Sweating and panting, the Kazekage re-emerged; exhausted as though he had just run a marathon. Her touch had driven the demon away, and surprised, Gaara looked up at her, now on his knees. His eyes were still the pale yellow and black diamonds, but she knew how to get rid of that.
Sakura knelt down in front of him, cupped his face in her hands, and pulled him to her, kissing him. Almost immediately, Gaara moaned. It was his voice, not the demon's. He was in control again. And it was instinctive, as his hands snaked around her waist and he pulled on her, forcing her to fall forward onto him. She wondered at the strength of his reaction, but then pushed away those thoughts and just held onto him.
His kisses were better when she was accepting him in; he used his tongue to probe her mouth in a tantalising way that surprised her. He was just so lost in the moment and glad that she had been the one to initiate this that Gaara ignored the nagging voice that warned him that at any moment, Shukaku might take over. But the demon was quiet, seemingly silenced by the gentle voice and touch of Sakura, and he wondered suddenly if it had known she could do this.
Gaara took advantage of the absence of that dark voice and just enjoyed the moment – her touch, her smell, and the fact that she wasn't trying to fight him off. He could barely believe that she was here, now, and instigating a make out session of all things! It was an incredible turn on, having her straddling his lap on the desert floor, half laying on him as she pressed into him with surprising vigour. He wondered if maybe they should move this indoors. But Sakura was holding so tightly to him that he wasn't sure she would pull away long enough to go anywhere.
His arms were still around her waist, and she was holding him by both the front of his plain Kazekage uniform and a tight grip on his crimson hair. She pulled his head back and attacked his jaw with her mouth, biting him softly, surprising him; really, this was not the same girl who had tried to knock him out in a collapsing building. He had a hard time trying to match them up in his mind's eye.
Sakura groaned, her kisses moving to his throat, and his hand shot up, interrupting her. She grasped his arm as he held a hand to her throat. He wasn't choking her, but she couldn't move, and she was suddenly terrified of what Gaara was planning on doing. He stared at her, as though he was looking straight through and piercing her very soul. She couldn't look away or close her eyelids, transfixed by those pale, pupil-less eyes.
"Sakura," he whispered lovingly, "I love you."
Her eyes widened in shock as he pulled her back down to him, crashing her lips onto his. She just sat there, in stunned reverie, as he pressed against her. Was it true? Sakura closed her eyes and bit his lip gently before deepening the kiss.
'Gaara really is in love with me?'
It had been a long four years since Sasuke had died, since he failed to destroy Konoha. Maybe it really was time for her to move on. And even though she knew Gaara wasn't the only one feeling something here, it still seemed so surreal, that she could have feelings for anyone other than Sasuke Uchiha. She had tried to make things work with Naruto, but she could not love him as he had professed to love her. He was with Hinata now, and she was all alone. But the question still remained: Gaara?
She was mesmerised by his kiss, his scent, and the sensation of his free hand on her body. Her right hand ran downward, along his chest. His left hand remained on her throat. But now, she didn't mind so much. She moaned into his mouth, arching her back as his right hand fell to her side – the contours of his body pressed against her, she couldn't fight the tingling sensations rippling through her.
Suddenly, she felt his sand shift around her and he shunshined them into the Wind Shrine, and onto the bed in that adjoining room. He understood that it wasn't her favourite place, but it was the only shelter within miles and she was beginning to sweat heavily. The shrine was cooler, partially due to the fact that it was mostly dark, but mainly because of the nearby subterranean water source. The lower levels of this place, which were sealed off, led to this water, among other things.
Finding himself flat on his back, Gaara rolled over, pushing Sakura onto her back, which broke the kiss as she twisted her head. She groaned, and pulled his lips back to hers roughly. He steadied himself, with one arm resting on the bed as he ran the other hand along her arm. She shifted her legs, holding his thighs with her knees and he blushed, feeling her pressed up against him. Sakura couldn't help it, she giggled. After a moment, she broke the kiss and stared into those pale eyes of his.
"Are you embarrassed?" She teased.
She had not expected he would respond like this, considering their history, and true enough, there was a hesitant concern on his face. He seemed to want to savour the moment, trying to catch his breath as he licked his lips.
"Gaara, are you okay?"
He shook his head, pressing their foreheads together. He was having trouble breathing. In order for the transformation, Shukaku had taken more out of him than necessary. His chakra reserves were low and he was feeling queasy, regretting using his Shunshin instead of just carrying Sakura into the shrine. He closed his eyes.
She shifted again, uncertain. Was he ill? She lifted her hand to his chest and probed him with her chakra, her eyes widening as she realised he was almost out of chakra. His pulse was unsteady and his blood pressure was low. There was only so much of that she could heal.
The pinkette lifted her hand to his face and pulled him down to kiss her again.
He groaned, gripping her so tightly that it hurt. The sounds emanating from him were his own, not some demon's. She could feel his heart beating through his shirt, and the way he explored her mouth with his tongue was not something he had ever done before today. So Sakura wrenched his head up, pulling on his hair, not enough to rip it out, but with enough tension that his eyes snapped open at the broken kiss.
Those pale eyes often reminded her of the lavender of the Hyuuga, except a light green version. She smiled up at him, releasing his hair, and running her fingers over the kanji. He didn't try to kiss her again, just staring down at her. They both wanted to go further than this, but were holding back. Sakura wasn't ready for that right now. She wrapped her arms around him, just resting her chin on his shoulder. But a few minutes later, remembering the other reason she had sought Gaara out, Sakura pulled away from him and out of his warm embrace.
X X X
They remained in the same position however, as he stared down at her, the usual stoic expression of his now curious more than anything. She had just interrupted the greatest make out session either of them had ever had. Sakura smiled slightly at his slightly pouting face.
"Gaara, I need to apologise to you."
He didn't shift his expression. "For what? I'm the one that hurt you."
She shook her head. "No, you didn't. That was Shukaku; we both know that. You need to stop punishing yourself for what that thing did."
He closed his eyes and she brushed at a loose strand of his hair. He would never have believed that one day she would say that to him. It made him feel so… warm. Gaara had no idea anyone could feel this relieved.
"And I have a confession to make," she said, pushing him slightly to get him to move off of her.
They sat side by side on the edge of the bed before she continued.
"I need to apologise for not telling you sooner. It's my fault things have gotten so out of control."
She held a finger to his mouth as he started to interrupt her.
"Wait, I'm not finished. I know I was angry at you two years ago Gaara, but since then, I have forgiven you, you need to know that."
His eyes widened slightly and she smiled. "I should've told you a long time ago, but I was so messed up, not wanting to face the reality of what had happened. I never told anyone about that day, and I guess I've been bottling it up. If I had just told you that I forgave you, nothing would've happened when I came back to Suna, Shukaku wouldn't have driven you from your home, and my friends wouldn't have been so worried about me that they'd pressure you into speaking with me. And you wouldn't have had to live with all this guilt for so long."
She took a deep breath. "Can you forgive me?"
Gaara groaned. "Sakura, it's not your fault. There's nothing to forgive."
She wanted to kiss him again, but refrained. There was something else she also needed to tell him. It was something that had been bugging her even longer than the two years since that day. She stood up and walked to the door, stopping at the frame and not looking at him as he watched her calmly. It was now or never, she supposed. Ino, Naruto, and Kakashi also knew this secret, but just like two years ago, it should have been her burden to bear and hers alone. She was done putting other people through things because she couldn't cope with the truth. She turned to face Gaara, ignoring her renewed impulse to jump him right then and there.
"I'm an idiot Gaara. When it comes to men, I always seem to make the wrong decisions."
The fury building on her face scared him, but he remained silent. She clenched her fists, the first of many tears now building up inside of her. The emotion poured out of her and she spoke venomously, reminding herself of the way Naruto had spoken to her last night.
"I'm poison."
"Why?" Gaara asked, struggling to hide his frustration.
Why would Sakura think she was some kind of a contagion for men? Her tears were flowing freely now, and she did nothing to hide them from him.
"Why?" She snapped, startling him. "Because I did it Gaara, I killed Sasuke!"
He blinked heavily, his mind reeling. "But I thought –"
"Naruto covered for me," she said, now ranting. "He told everyone he had done it because he knew I couldn't bare the looks and the shame. I never wanted to harm Sasuke. From the moment I saw him as a child all I wanted was his attention, his love. And even when he defected from Konoha, all I could think about was bringing him back, hoping for the happy ending where he would finally realise he was madly in love with me and forget about gaining power."
She sniffed, wiping at the tears. "I was a fool, and my ignorance and fan girl ways drove him away. I said all the wrong things, couldn't be the team mate he deserved and blubbered like an idiot while begging him to stay."
Sakura looked into Gaara's eyes now, expecting to see the same, indifferent expression he always wore. He was so much like Sasuke in that way – shut off from his emotions and difficult for others to get to know. But he actually looked stunned, his face showing the intensity of what she was feeling. He loved her, and he wanted her; he had already told her this. But she wouldn't let herself hope and dream ever again.
"Then I killed him," she said harshly. "I let him think he was beating me, I let him beat me to an inch from my death. He was so happy, finally being able to kill me, to be rid of me once and for all. And then, when he bent down to whisper something to me, probably intending to gloat before he made the final blow, I forced chakra into my hands. I gouged out his eyes. I destroyed the Sharingan eyes, blinding him permanently."
She sniffed again, new tears stinging her eyes, but no longer flowing.
"Oh, but that wasn't enough. I could smell his blood all over me now, mixed in with mine, and the only thought I had was: 'I can't do this anymore'. Do you know what it's like Gaara, to love someone so much that even when they're trying to kill you, you still want to protect them?"
Gaara nodded softly, but didn't elaborate.
Sakura sighed. "I struck out after blinding him," she said, now sounding calmer. "I dug my chakra scalpel into his heart. He was screaming the entire time, and it felt good to finally shut him up."
She laughed mirthlessly, staring down at her hands now. "How twisted is that?"
Gaara was socially inept and didn't quite get the point of lying to make people feel better. But he found himself wanting to lie to her, to tell her something that would bring her out of this darkness. He understood her killing Sasuke; the Uchiha had become a monster. Gaara had called himself that for years, never knowing the light that was underneath it, much stronger than the darkness that was masking it. But for Sasuke, it had turned out that the opposite was true. It was a tragic loss of life, but even with the extinction of the Uchiha clan, and with it the Sharingan kekkei genkai, the world still moved on.
He wracked his brain, trying to think of the best way to say this, without sounding indifferent to the death of Sasuke, but it didn't come. He lowered his head instead, his body suddenly feeling weak as he swallowed heavily at her words. She had killed Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto had taken the blame, and here he was, unable to comfort her. He looked up at her, feeling queasy again as she continued to stare at her hands quietly.
Finally, Gaara stood, walked over to her, reached out, and took her hands, entwining their fingers together. She broke down again, pulling him into a tight embrace. Clearly, sometimes the best thing to say was nothing at all. They just stood there as she let it all out. She didn't want to make the same mistakes with him, even though that had already happened. And here she was again, blubbering like an idiot. Then Sakura realised suddenly that a good amount of her tears had been happy tears.
How had she missed that?
Sakura pulled away and smiled up at the Kazekage. He was looking slightly sickly, so she manoeuvred him back onto the bed. He was too exhausted to return to Suna right now.
Sakura sat down on the bed as Gaara quickly drifted off. He was more fatigued than he had originally let on. She smiled and brushed a strand of hair away from the kanji symbol on his forehead, then kissed the symbol softly. She curled up next to him, her arm flung over his chest as he sighed deeply, in his sleep. But she wasn't tired. This time, she was going to wait for him to wake up.
X X X
A/N: Okay, all done, nothing more to see here… jking, Lol. ;)
That wasn't a cliff hanger, really. Because the next chapter is ignoring me, I decided not to end this one on a cliffy. That would be cruel and unusual torture, right? It might be awhile before I'm on speaking terms with chap 13, but as soon as I can get a fire lighting under it, I'll be posting again. Until then, love it or not, please tell me!
R&R.
To anyone surprised by Sakura's confession about Sasuke, re-read chapter 4. I put a hint in there that no-one spotted, or at least no-one mentioned spotting it. In the flashback, Kakashi claims that Naruto killed Sasuke on the 28th of March. Whose birthday was that I wonder? Sakura was having a VERY bad day. I'm evil, yeah. ;)
