Bret pulled his horse to a stop and turned in his saddle. Shawn was behind him on a good steady mare, but he was barely hanging on. He was still weak from getting the cocaine out of his system.
"Hang on Shawn, only half a mile more," Bret called out as he urged his horse forward. While he could have brought the buckboard, he hoped riding would be part of Shawn's healing process.
Shawn gripped the horn of the saddle and hung on. He was glad for the western style saddle, instead of the English style he used back east. He also knew he deserved what his body was feeling. He'd been the one to keep taking the drops after they weren't really needed. He'd been the one to foolishly try to kill himself. Shawn knew he had a lot to atone for, both to God and his boys. He vowed to make it right.
Bret finally stopped at a pretty cabin that stood in the middle of a clearing in the woods that grew along the waters of the Missouri River. It was a solid, well-built, one room log cabin. It was a peaceful place. Bret and Wade had placed rocks in the stream to make a dam that created a deep hole for swimming. Wild flowers grew everywhere. There was a corral for the horses close to the cabin as well. It was the perfect place for Shawn to rest and recover.
Yesterday, Bret had stocked the cabin with food, clean bed linens and medicines from Doctor Orton. However, none of the medicine contained anything for Shawn to become addicted to. The boys had packed a bag for their poppa that had several nightshirts and comfortable clothes, along with his hairbrush, razor, shaving mug and soap, and his toothbrush. Adam had written Shawn a long note that Bret would give Shawn later. Now it was too much for Shawn to handle. Bret was glad Jason and Adam trusted him to take care of their beloved poppa.
"Bret, this is beautiful," Shawn said wearily as Bret lifted him down from his horse. Bret adjusted Shawn in his arms and carried him into the cabin. A double bed made of willow branches stood in the northeast corner, it was where Bret took Shawn.
"Welcome home, Sunflower. Can you change into your nightshirt alone? I'll corral the horses if you can. Your boys packed your bag." Bret's tone was soft, but had an edge to it. He was still upset that Shawn had wanted to end his life. He nodded to Shawn's carpet-bag which sat on the bed.
Shawn understood Bret's tone and he deserved it, but determined to fix everything. Shawn cared deeply for Bret and wanted his respect. "Yeah, I can. I'm alright for now, just weak and tired. My sides hurt from all that... being sick," Shawn replied with a weak smile.
Shawn watched as Bret left to care for the horses. He wished he felt up to making Bret a nice lunch, but he barely had the energy to change. When he opened his carpet-bag, Shawn grinned. Adam had sent Mister Spotty and his Bible. Jason had put in the gold pocket watch and a picture of himself and Adam asleep on Shawn's lap when he was six and Adam was four. It was Christmas Eve, and they had fallen asleep waiting for Santa.
Shawn placed the toy dog, picture, watch and Bible on the bedside table. He knew these things were his children's most precious possessions, their way of telling him to fight and come back to them, as the man they knew, respected and loved.
He stripped down to the cotton undershorts he wore, then went to the sink and splashed freshly pumped spring well water on his face. Like his kitchen back home, there was a small window to look out of as one did the dishes. He dried off and slipped a comfortable, white nightshirt with light gray pinstripes over his head. Shawn felt strange in his sleeping attire before noon, but he had to admit, it did feel good. He was a bit afraid of what was to come. Doctor Orton had said before this was over he would go through several stages, none of them pleasant.
He took a moment to look around the cabin. Everything had been built by Bret with Wade's help. It was their hunting and fishing retreat. The fireplace was a work of art. Some of the field rocks had patches of lichen on them while others had fossils of ancient plants and animals embedded in them. In front of the fireplace was a large bear fur. The fur was reddish-brown and Shawn wasn't sure what kind of bear it was. Two huge wolf skins decorated the walls on either side of the fireplace.
The fireplace was also set up as a cook stove. There was a spit for roasting meat, a hook on a chain for a pot to hang, and a dutch oven built into the right side. It could be used for baking and roasting. Two rocking chairs sat near by.
It was very obviously a hunting man's cabin. Various sizes of antlers from deer, antelope, elk, moose, and horns from sheep and buffalo were fastened up in the rafters of the roof. Shawn guessed Bret was an excellent hunter, and probably fisherman as well.
Shawn was suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. He went to the bed, pulled back the covers and slipped in. He smiled at Adam's stuffed dog. He'd made it while waiting for Adam to be born. He picked it up the toy dog and cuddled it close. It smelled like Adam as a baby, at least in his mind's eye. A warm feeling of comfort of washed over him.
Bret unsaddled, groomed, watered and fed the two horses. He'd brought two sacks of oats and six bales of hay with the rest of the supplies yesterday. Bret wouldn't be able to leave Shawn to go into town, especially once things got more difficult. Wade would come when he could, as would the doctor. They would be the only ones allowed near the cabin until Shawn was well.
When Bret finished with the horses, he took the saddles and bridles to a small lean-to, built on the east side of the cabin. He entered the cabin, left the door open and opened the two windows on either side of the door. It was a bit warm and the breeze felt good.
Hart smiled when he saw Shawn. His Sunflower had fallen asleep, holding a small, black and white stuffed dog. At that moment, Bret utterly lost his heart and soul to the beautiful man in his bed. He leaned down and kissed Shawn's brow, and the man never stirred.
Bret went back outside. He skinned and cleaned the three rabbits he caught yesterday. He knew Shawn would need some rich food and a rabbit stew would fill the bill perfectly. They were fat from the plentiful grass and wild things rabbits tended to find.
He cut the meat into boneless chunks and took them into the cabin. At the counter that ran along the wall, he dipped the pieces of meat into flour seasoned with salt, pepper and a bit of ground garlic. He heated some fat in a pot that hung over the small fire he'd built. With a sizzle he dropped the coated meat into the pot and stirred them with a wooden spoon.
Shawn wasn't sure how long he'd slept. The smell of rabbit stew entered his nose, along with an undertone of baking cornbread. He felt hungry and hoped he could eat. For a moment he panicked, where was Bret? Did he just leave him here with a pot of stew?
Suddenly the back door opened. Shawn hadn't even noticed the door that was between the fireplace and kitchen. Bret came in with a few small logs he'd chopped for the fire. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
Shawn had to bite his tongue. Bret looked... sexy. A light sheen of sweat covered his upper body, enhancing the tanned flesh of the horse rancher. Bret's muscles rippled and flexed as he silently stacked the wood in a box next to the fireplace. His chest was covered with dark curls, not too much, just enough to be tangled in fingers. The hair trailed down and vanished into the waist of his trousers. Bet was a perfect specimen of a man.
Hart could feel Shawn's eyes on him. Well, if his Sunflower wanted to stare, he'd give him a reason. He removed his beloved cowboy hat and let his long, dark curls fall free. He stood and stretched his arms, the movement causing his back muscles to flex and strain.
Shawn let a low moan escape his lips before he could stop it. Bret wheeled around on his booted heels and faced Shawn, a wicked smirk and knowing look shining in his dark eyes. "Hello, Sunflower. How are you feeling?" Bret's expression changed to one of care and concern as he moved to his patient's bed.
"How long did I sleep? I... ache, if the truth be told. I wish I could just have one or two drops, it would really help," Shawn said quietly. He knew it was pointless, but he craved the calm that the medicine brought him.
"Well, lets just say, lunch is now supper. I'm not going to even acknowledge what I just heard. Can you eat a bit? It's rabbit stew and cornbread," Bret asked as he went back to stir the pot.
"I am hungry, I just don't know if I can. It smells great. When did you catch rabbits?" Shawn asked as he let Bret help him out of the bed. There was a small dining table in the southwest corner, and windows to the west and the south.
"We can eat small meals or whatever is best for you. Come on, just stay comfortable, no need to dress. I'll put my shirt on though," Bret said with a laugh as he pulled his shirt off the back of one of the four chairs around the table.
Shawn laughed, then groaned. It hurt his sides to laugh. "Easy Sunflower," Bret said with concern as the pain crossed Shawn's face.
"It hurts to laugh. I deserve it. Oh Bret, I've been so... stupid," Shawn said in a tear filled voice. His emotions were all over the place.
"Yes, you have. Shawn, I'll tell you something only Wade and Hunter know. I've been in your boots. I used to drink whiskey till I passed out. I was a dirty, mean drunk. When I woke up in a pool of my own piss and vomit one day, I said enough. Wade brought me here and with Hunter's help, got me through it. Wade was eighteen, I was thirty-three. I haven't had anything harder to drink than lemonade in twelve years. So, we'll get through this, I promise," Bret said as he put a small dish of rabbit stew in front of Shawn. He went back to take the cornbread out of the oven.
Shawn was stunned at Bret's confession, but he was glad because it meant Bret wasn't being judgmental, he was speaking from the wisdom of experience. "Thank you for sharing that. I'll need your strength and firmness. Do you think the boys are alright? Maybe we should do this at the house? I've never been away from my boys," Shawn said in a worried tone. He toyed with his spoon.
"They are big boys. They will be fine, honey. It's better we're isolated. The yelling won't disturb anyone. Wade will look in on them and I'll bet Chris has sent them a pot of chicken and dumplings. You just try to eat," Bret said with a pat to Shawn's shoulder.
"You're right. I need to be a bit selfish and work on getting better..." He paused to take a bite of the delicious stew. Aside from the meat, Bret had added potatoes, carrots and several onions. "This is really delicious, Bret," Shawn said with a smile and bite of cornbread. Bret had baked it in a well-seasoned cast iron skillet.
"Glad you like it. I caught the rabbits yesterday, when I brought in the supplies. Killed that bear five years ago, had enough meat on it to feed almost everyone in town over winter. It's a grizzly, guess they don't have bears that big back east," Bret said as he dished up another bowl of stew.
"I've never hunted, but I love to fish..." Shawn suddenly doubled over. It was if every muscle in his body decided to cramp at once, and he nearly screamed with the pain.
Bret almost dropped his bowl when Shawn cried out. He rushed to Shawn, who'd fallen to his knees. He picked Shawn up and carried him to the bed. He then went to the sink and filled a bowl with water, grabbed a cloth and went back to Shawn. Bret wet the cloth and gently washed Shawn's face.
"Easy honey, just breathe," Bret said softly as he re-wet the cloth and washed Shawn's tears away. How well he knew what the man was going through.
"Hurts Bretty, hurts," Shaw moaned in a raspy whisper. He was still cramped, but it was easing a bit. Bret's gentle touches helped calm him.
Bret smiled. No one had ever called him "Bretty" before, he liked it. From now on, only Shawn would ever call him that. "I know. Just keep breathin' and let your body relax," Bret cooed softly as he washed Shawn's face again.
It nearly took an hour for Shawn's attack to pass. When it was over, Bret helped Shawn change into a fresh nightshirt, as the one he wore was drenched in sweat. Bret would keep washing them as needed. Shawn fell into a deep sleep. It gave Bret a chance to clean up their supper remains. He threw the leftover stew in a bucket, as there was no ice box in the cabin. He washed the dishes, dried and put them away.
Bret took Shawn's sweat-soaked nightshirt to the stream, along with the horses. The animals drank as Bret washed out the nightshirt. He then led the horses back to the corral and hung the nightshirt over a rail. He groomed the horses, talking to them softly as he worked.
Bret brushed his stallion till his coat shone. The horse was a Palomino of perfect horseflesh. His mane and tail were the color of cream and his coat was rich gold. The mare he'd chosen for Shawn was the stallion's mother. She was a lighter gold with a nearly white mane and tail. She was a steady, sensible, surefooted animal named "Cinta de Oro." In English it meant "Ribbon of Gold" but Bret simply called her "Ribbon." Bret's stallion had the name "Oro" which was Spanish for gold. Bret Hart raised the best Palomino horses in Montana. People came from hundreds of miles to buy them. Each horse had Bret's brand on its left flank, a heart with wings. His ranch was called "The Flying Heart," synonymous with his free spirit. Bret couldn't wait till Shawn was feeling better and able to see the ranch he loved so dearly.
When Bret got back to the cabin, Shawn was still sleeping. To keep busy, Bret grabbed his leather bullet pouch that hung by the door. His rifle was racked over the door. He sat on the hearth and shaved some lead into the long handled cast iron spoon he'd set on the coals. When it was ready, he poured the molten lead into his bullet mold. By the time he finished, Bret had made twenty new bullets.
Bret checked on Shawn. The beautiful man was still asleep. He could tell Shawn was resting well as his breathing was deep and steady. Hart stripped down to his cotton undershorts. He threw a log on the fire and banked it for the night. He laid down on the bear skin rug, it was comfortable and soft. He drifted off to sleep as he watched the flames dance in the dark.
By the way the moon hung in the inky sky, it had to be around three in the morning. The wildlife in the woods around the cabin were scattered by the agonizing screams of pain that came from inside the cabin. Shawn had woken up in even worse pain than before. He couldn't do anything but scream. His body, used to the cocaine laced drops, was crying out for the drug. It was scary to know how easy it was to become addicted to something that looked so harmless.
All Bret could do was wash Shawn's face and hold him. He kept cooing softly in Shawn's ear. It ripped at his soul not only because Shawn was in such agony, but because he realized he'd put Wade and Hunter through the same thing. He owed them a lot.
The sun was rising before Shawn was sleeping again. Bret knew he should go back to the rug, but Shawn had fallen asleep with his head on his shoulder. Bret wrapped his other arm around the pained beauty. Bret was asleep in seconds. It had exhausted both men. When Shawn woke up he was deeply wrapped in Bret's strong arms. He felt safe and secure. He felt so relaxed and content that he was able to go back to sleep.
Bret woke up next and smiled. Shawn looked so peaceful as his head rested on his chest. Shawn's long hair was like a fan as it fell over them both. Hart knew he needed to get up. The horses needed tending to and he had planned on catching some fish for their lunch. He also knew Shawn would feel better if he got up and moved around, keep his muscles stretched.
"Good morning, Sunflower," Bret said softly. He stroked the hair away from Shawn's face. What he really wanted to do was make love to Shawn. Make him his in all ways, but that was simply not an option.
Shawn stirred in his sleep. He could still feel the strong arms around him. Arms that didn't belong to his husband. Up until now, Vince had been the only one to hold him and kiss him. What got Shawn the most was, in all the good years he did have with Vince, he never once felt this safe and cared for. Shawn wanted nothing more than for Bret to make love to him. He wanted to belong to Bret in all ways. He knew it was fast, he barely knew Bret, however never in his life had he felt like he did when he was with Bret. When he was with Bret he felt... at home, Bret was the warm fire he could come to, he knew no matter what, that fire would never die; it would remain constant. Vince had never been like that, he burned hot and cold, never dependable, there was no comforting warmth with him. He decided it was time for Bret to know the truth. He wanted him to find out now, before things went any further. Would Bret understand or walk away?
"Good morning, Bret. We need to talk. Please, keep a hold of me? Because by the time I'm finished, you may want nothing more to do with me. I want to be in your arms for as long as I can." Shawn's voice was deep and raspy from the screams of pain, but the words were from his heart and soul. His turquoise eyes looked at Bret with so much hope, he managed a slight smile to curve on his lips.
Bret smiled and sighed. He was glad Shawn was ready to talk, he only worried it was too soon. However, he would do this in whatever way Shawn wanted. He pulled Shawn closer. "Take your time, but let me ask you one thing. You're married, aren't you?" Bret finally asked the one thing that kept coming to his mind.
Shawn wrapped himself around Bret and held him for dear life. It was now or never. He took a deep breath and began. "Yes. My name is really Michael Shawn Hickenbottom-McMahon, husband of Vincent McMahon of Boston. He is the father of Jason and Adam. Once we loved each other, but then things changed..." Shawn began with how he met Vince and told Bret every blessed thing that had happened, he left nothing out. He even told about Vince's other family with Eric Bischoff. He had to stop several times to drink water, dry tears and gather himself.
The entire time Shawn spoke, Bret held him, got Shawn water to drink or washed his face with fresh, cool water. Bret heard every word and spoke none of his own. His time would come. With all the pauses and a trip to the woods, it took Shawn nearly all day to get the story out. The longest pause came when Shawn told about losing his baby. Bret had never been so angry in his life. How could a man, a father, deliberately kill his own unborn baby? As far as Bret Hart was concerned, Vincent Kennedy McMahon was a dead man.
"... so, we decided to stay here and try to make a new life. Then all that business with Marshal Calaway at the poker game. I thought we should leave, but Jason said, and rightly so, that if we ran again now, we'd never stop. I stupidly thought, if I killed myself, Vince would drop it and the boys would be safe. I don't care what happens to me, but I do care about my boys and I wont see them hurt, ever again. Now you know why Adam is so afraid of love. Our marriage... at the end... was all he could see of love and marriage. So, that's our story, all of it. I want you to know, Bret, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to us. I will understand if you want nothing further to do with me. Just... do it now, before it's too late." Shawn fell back in the bed, exhausted, mentally and physically.
Bret knew there was only one thing he could do to show Shawn how he felt. He pulled Shawn into his arms and kissed him like he never kissed anyone before. He was gentle and tender, but extremely passionate. He rolled on his back and pulled Shawn on top of him, his hands massaging the small of Shawn's back. Shawn tangled Bret's curly hair in his fingers, totally lost in the wonderful moment. He'd take what Bret gave... if this was the end.
The sun was setting as the kiss finally broke. It had been a long, exhausting day. Bret was starving and he knew the horses would be furious with him. "I hope that settles things, Shawn. You're mine now and Vince McMahon can go to the devil. When you're feeling better, we'll go see Lawler, get started on your divorce. I want you Shawn, I'm falling in love with you. I... hope you feel the same. You do, don't you?" Bret asked. There was so much hope in his expression.
Shawn was still on top of Bret, he looked deeply into Bret's eyes. He was looking for any sign of deceit, pity or even hatred. What he saw was hope and love, and he couldn't believe Bret still wanted him. "You... want me? A washed up, abused, weak person who tried to kill himself?" Shawn asked through the tears. There was no way anyone could love him. Maybe his boys could, but he wasn't sure about that anymore, not really.
"Shawn, stop it. You are a strong, beautiful man. You put up with a lot because of your boys. If you hadn't made yourself a target for Vince, he would have hurt Jason and Adam. I'm sorry about that, honey. I can't imagine how terrible that was. I probably would have killed myself as well. I want you Shawn. We can make our own baby, if you want. Are you willing to tell Lawyer Lawler all about it? Get a divorce?" Bret's eyes bored into Shawn's with deepest conviction as he spoke. He did want a baby from Shawn, a child of their own to love and cherish.
Shawn's tears fell on Bret's bare chest. "You... a... baby? With me? I'd be willing to talk to the lawyer, but a divorce is expensive. I can't afford a lawyer now, and I'm sure you can't either."
Bret Hart laughed. "Oh my darling Sunflower, I guess it's my turn to tell you a bit about myself. I'm a millionaire, Shawn. I own the hotel, mercantile and other companies. Our family started Hart Enterprises. When my sister died, I inherited everything. I guess if I lived in England, I'd be a Lord. I have money, I just don't let it rule me, I don't care about it. However, I can afford to destroy Vince McMahon. I'll get your crab business back too. Shawn, if you want a divorce, I'll get it for you."
Shawn was stunned. He'd heard Vince talk about Hart Enterprises, once after a trip to Canada. He had no clue that Bret Hart was that Hart. Now he was even more sure Bret was just being nice. Someone of his social stature would not want a divorced ex-socialite, who was a weak-kneed punching bag for his husband. He couldn't take anymore. He slid off Bret, curled up in a ball and sobbed like a newborn babe.
Bret knew Shawn was even more emotional because of the withdrawal from the medicine, and telling his story and finding out about Bret's hidden identity. He let Shawn cry himself to sleep, by stroking the long, coppery blond locks. He finally had a chance to dress and see to the horses. Oro was very prancy when he led them to the stream to drink. Bret splashed water on his face to freshen himself a bit. He rewarded his horses' patience with an extra ration of oats mixed with some chunks of carrots. Back inside the cabin he wolfed down the rest of the cornbread with a bit of molasses.
Shawn again spent the night in periods of screaming, agonizing pain. The good thing was, the pain didn't last as long. His body was slowly returning to normal. It would still be a while, but by morning Shawn felt like getting up and was hungry. Bret made pancakes and they both ate stacks of six each. Bret had brought some maple syrup as a special treat.
Bret noticed Shawn was very quiet. He didn't want to push, but he wondered what he was thinking about. "What's in that beautiful head of yours? I think you know by now, you can talk to me about anything," Bret said with a gentle caress to Shawn's cheek.
Shawn leaned into the touch. "I just can't take it all in. I've heard Vince speak of Hart Enterprises. He went to Canada once to finance some land purchase, but Hart Enterprises had beat him out of the deal..." Shawn paused with a deep sigh, then continued, "I don't know when it all went so... wrong. I wonder now, maybe, it was all a lie on his part. I truly loved him, once. I thought he loved me, was proud of the home I made for him and our sons. If he truly loved me, he would have... I'm so confused, Bret. Oh God, help me!" Shawn again burst out in a flood of tears. Doctor Orton had warned him that Shawn would go through stages, and Bret knew this was one of them. He just hoped when the anger came, he would be ready.
Bret did what he did best, cared for Shawn. Bret had an idea. "Come on, honey." He easily picked Shawn up and carried him out the back door of the cabin and down the short path to the pool he and Wade had built. The water was so clear one could see the rocks at the bottom. They had made one side a bit higher to create a waterfall. It wasn't big, but it made a nice shower to bathe in. The waterfall cast a slight rainbow caused by the sun's glittering rays. Birds provided a delightful chorus of their various songs as they chirped merrily in the surrounding trees, crickets and other insects added their busy drone of buzzing wings and mating calls. Bret put Shawn down. It took Shawn a minute to get his feet under him as he was still crying.
"Trust me?" Bret asked softly as he held Shawn steady in his muscular arms. He wiped Shawn's tears gently with his thumb.
Shawn could only nod through the tears. He was bit shocked when Bret stripped off all his clothes, even his cotton undershorts. Shawn was even more shocked when he allowed Bret to strip his own clothes off, his undershorts as well. Shawn had never been naked in front of anyone but Vince. He wasn't sure he had a nice body, after his pregnancies.
"You're beautiful, honey. Are you sure you birthed two children?" Bret whispered softly as he gently caressed Shawn's taught abdomen. Shawn's skin was flawless. He was pale from being so ill, but a few days in the sun would give him a healthy glow. Shawn's chest was covered with fine hairs that ran down his body and blended in to his dark blond pubic hairs. Bret thought he was perfect.
Shawn blushed deeply as Bret's eyes scanned his body. "Am I? I don't think so. If I had been, Vince would..." he was halted by Bret's fingers on his lips.
"You are not to mention that fool's name again. He had his chance and he messed it all up. He did, not you. You belong to me now. He plays no part in your life anymore, understand?" Bret spoke in a firm tone, his brown eyes blazed with his conviction.
Shawn still couldn't believe the handsome man standing in front of him wanted him, and wanted him badly apparently. "Yes, Bret. I'll be yours; help me? I know divorce is scandalous, what will everyone in town think? I do have a bit of pride, not much, but some. I don't want the boys harmed by a scandal. Especially with Adam's job. I have a feeling Sandow could make a lot of trouble with something like this." Shawn spoke in a worried tone as he bit his lip. He wasn't sure of anything.
"You let me worry about Damien. My money is in his bank, well some of it anyway. He won't want to lose that. There will be no scandal. If you were getting a divorce just to marry someone else, or had an affair, that would be bad, but you were hurt. My god, honey, the man killed his own child. Who's going to look bad? Not you, trust me. I'll be there with you every minute. Then after you're divorced, you'll marry me," Bret spoke as if it was a fact. His voice almost shrugged.
Shawn's eyes grew wide. Had he just heard what he thought he'd heard? "Now wait a minute, Bret Hart. I was married to one controlling man. What makes you think I want another? Maybe I don't want to marry again. I have to take care of myself first, for once, and after that, my boys. So don't you think I'm agreeing to anything like that. I take it back, I don't want to be yours," Shawn's eyes were full of fire and most of all, life. He stood up for himself, for the first time in his life. It felt good, he felt... free.
Bret smiled. Finally, he saw a spark in Shawn's turquoise eyes. He'd hoped to bring life back to Shawn, he just hoped he hadn't gone too far. "That's my Sunflower. Stand up and fight. I'm not really controlling. I meant what I said about helping you, and being there for you, but, I would never, absolutely never, force you to do anything you didn't want to do. I do want you as my husband, but that will be up to you. I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust and be worthy of your love. Because, Shawn Michaels, I love you, very much." As Bret spoke he held Shawn's hands, his eyes burned with the truth of his words. It was not lost on either man that they were having this talk, naked, both in physical body, but in soul as well. It made their conversation more meaningful, and in a way, more spiritual.
"You tricked me, Bret. But, thank you for making me realize it's alright to stand up for myself. I'd forgotten how, or maybe I never knew how. I have to be honest, I care very deeply for you, and I don't want anyone else, but I can't say I love you, yet. It wouldn't be fair for me to say it. Please understand, Bretty, I want you and I want to be yours, but I need time. I'm not well enough to think about anything other than getting well. Can you understand? Will you be patient with me?" Shawn asked as he held on to Bret's hands.
"Yes, Shawn I understand. If you had spoken any differently, I would have been concerned. Let's get you healthy first, the rest will come. We have all the time in the world. Now, come with me." Bret leaned in and kissed Shawn. He was careful not to rub his cock against Shawn's.
Bret held on to one of Shawn's hands and with a run, pulled Shawn toward the pool in the stream. They jumped into the cold water. While it was a bit of a shock to their systems, it felt refreshing and made Shawn feel better, at least emotionally.
They laughed and swam. Shawn then washed his hair under the waterfall with the tub of soft soap Bret had placed there earlier. It felt so good to wash away the sweat and grime of sickness. After an hour of playing in the water, Shawn got out and sat in the thick, soft, almost carpet like grass. The warm sun felt so good on his skin and it helped ease his aching muscles.
Before he got out, Bret placed a box under the waterfall. The wooden box had slats on the sides. Any fish that went over the small waterfall would go into the box. Smaller fish could escape through the slats while bigger fish would later be eaten for dinner.
Hart then got out and joined Shawn on the grass to dry off. He reached over and took Shawn's hand in his. "How are you feeling? You really do look like a Sunflower, all cozy in the warmth," Bret said with a bit of a laugh.
"Better, but my body still aches. The sun does feel good. I feel kind of naughty though, lying here, like this is the Garden of Eden, before they knew the shame of nakedness. Would I be horrible if I said I liked it?" Shawn asked with a blush.
"I'm glad you're feeling better. Nothing wrong with it. We were born naked. Think of it this way, you are having a rebirth of a kind. So, as long as no one else sees what's mine, as far as I'm concerned, you can be my Eve and I will be your Adam. Promise me though, don't offer me an apple," Bret said with an evil smirk on his face.
"You are so sure of yourself. Maybe I'm just using you, taking advantage of your kindness. When I'm feeling better, maybe I'll find someone else. I'm sure you are not the only eligible bachelor in Great Falls," Shawn's tone was serious, but he had a teasing gleam in his eyes.
Bret laughed, rolled over on his side and was about to kiss Shawn when another cramp seized Shawn's body, and he curled up in a ball. Bret sat up and pulled Shawn into his lap. He caressed Shawn's back and whispered words of loving encouragement in his ear. The spasm passed rather quickly. A sign he was getting better, at least partly. Bret picked Shawn up and carried him to the cabin.
Shawn managed to make a pot of tea while Bret put fresh sheets on the bed. He had thought to bring several sheets with the supplies. He wanted Shawn as comfortable as possible. By the time Shawn poured two cups of tea, he was exhausted. Bret tucked Shawn back into bed and gave him his cup of tea. Bret sat on the bed with Shawn and drank his own tea. Neither man had bothered to realize they were still naked.
After they finished their tea, Bret pulled on his heavy, tan cotton trousers. He gave Shawn a kiss and went out to tend to Oro and Ribbon. While they drank from the stream, he checked the fish trap. He was pleased to see four fat rainbow trout. He picked two for their meal, and prepared them. He got four nice fillets. Bret returned the horses to the corral and fed them, they were much happier with him now.
While Shawn slept, Bret prepared their meal. He dipped the fish in cornmeal mixed with flour and fried them over the fire along with some potatoes. He mixed up a batch of hush puppies, a mixture of cornmeal, flour and onions. He dropped the mixture by spoonfuls into a kettle of hot lard and fried them till they were golden brown and crispy on the outside and delicate and moist on the inside. He boiled a pot of coffee to go with their meal.
Bret dished up their plates and brought them to the bed. Two cups of coffee were already on the bedside table. The smell of the delicious food cooking had awoken Shawn and he was hungry. Swimming always made him ravenous. When Bret handed Shawn the tin dinner plate, the coppery blond fairly grabbed it and tucked into the food like a starving wolf. Bret laughed but he was glad to see Shawn eating. While his body was beautiful, Shawn had let himself get too thin. Bret knew once Shawn had put on a little more weight, he would be even more beautiful and healthy.
"This is delicious, Bret. You keep feeding me like this and I'll get fat. Then you will throw me away," Shawn was only half-joking. Vince had often called him fat, so Shawn hardly ate, even though he hosted wonderful dinner parties.
"Never, Sunflower. You need to have a little more weight, especially if... never mind. Let's get you healthy first. You eat all you want, I'd still love you even if you were fat," Bret said with a tender caress to Shawn's cheek.
Shawn smiled. He knew Bret was telling the truth, and he also knew Bret was saying that he needed to be healthy, if he got pregnant. He couldn't think that far ahead, he wasn't even sure if he could have another baby, thanks to Vince. The thought made his appetite vanish. He resorted to his old trick of eating without putting any food in his mouth. He was an expert at moving food around his plate, a habit he'd sadly taught Adam as well.
Bret noticed that Shawn had stopped eating and his expression was unreadable. "Honey, what's wrong? I thought you liked my cooking?" Bret asked in a worried tone. He again caressed Shawn's cheek.
"Well, I guess since we've been so honest with each other. I know you'd love to have a baby. What if we did get married someday, and we found out I couldn't have children? What if... Vince took that away from me as well? Would you be happy not having children? I'm not that young either..." Shawn looked at Bret, his eyes filled with real worry.
"Children would only be a bonus. If you can't have any more, then it is alright. You have your boys and I have Wade. I got my baby experience with him. Randal can check you out. If we're meant to have children we will, if not, we'll love the ones we have. So you eat and stop worrying about it," Bret said with a smile as he held a forkful of fried potatoes to Shawn's lips.
"You're too good to me and for me, Bret Hart. Coming to Great Falls and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me and my boys. Thank you." Shawn sealed his words as he leaned over and kissed Bret's lips.
