Hey guys! Here is some more story! Sorry it has taken so long. My son has been MAJORLY sick. Like resistant to antibitoics and if we couldn't find something that worked he would need emergency surgery kind of sick. This got me behind in school (3 major science classes) and stressed out to the MAX. However, he's no longer sick and i'm caught up in school. :) Lots of Happy/Riley chatting.
Riley was sitting on the roof when Happy found her. She had been up there for hours just watching the stars and listening to music. She didn't look over as he sat down next to her and flopped back close enough that their shoulders were touching.
"He send you up here?"
"Nah. Figured I'd check on you since he's been drinking the whole bar."
Riley scoffed and shook her head. It's not like she was really happy either.
"He can drink all he wants. It doesn't change anything."
"You're right."
Riley turned her head to look at Happy. He was staring at the stars too. He had the same stoic look he always had on his face. He was her best friend though. She knew he was worried.
"It's not like I told him to fuck off. All I told him was I didn't want to get married just because my fuck of a father demanded it."
"I don't think that's why he wants to get married."
"It's part of it though, Hap. He's terrified he will drag me away just like Jimmy dragged away Fiona."
"Anyone would be afraid of that."
They fell into a comfortable silence for a while. Riley sighed knowing that Happy was right. As much as she didn't want to admit it he was absolutely right.
"He tell you my father demanded we have children."
"No. Why does he want you to have kids?"
"Said he needs heirs to his throne since I let my brother die."
"That's fuck up, Ri."
"Yeah I know."
"Where does Chibs land on all of it?"
"He wants all of it. He wants us to get married and play happy fucking family."
"You don't?"
"Hap I never wanted that. Chibs already has a daughter who is almost my age for Christ sake. We're in a fucking motorcycle club who runs porn studios. Could you imagine us having a daughter? She would grow up seeing all of that or being taken away to be part of the IRA."
"You tell him that?"
"Yeah. He just keeps telling me "Aye, Lass, it will all be okay." Every time I tell him."
Happy laughed when Riley mimicked Chibs' accent. She was really good at it though she didn't often do it.
"Maybe it will be okay."
"Yeah and maybe it won't be. I can't bring a child into this world. Not into my world and not into my fathers."
Happy looked at her and nodded.
"You gotta tell him that."
"He needs to sober up and realize I didn't tell him no."
"Well, I don't think he's going to sober up anytime soon."
"Well, I don't think I'm going to be coming down from this roof anytime soon."
"Looks like I'm not either."
Riley and Happy sat on the roof until the sun started coming up. They talked about Happys mom and how he grew up. Riley talked about her brother and some of the crazy things they did growing up. Happy asked her about Iraq and for once Riley told him everything.
She talked about the dark nights only lit up by the gunfire flying overhead. She told him about the whole attack where she lost her brother. She zoned out letting herself fully remember the whole fight. When she felt the tears sting her eyes and noticed that Happy saw them, he told her about his first kill and how it fucked with his head.
As they fell into a comfortable silence while the sun rose in the sky, Riley felt a sharp pain in her chest. Happy was always so relaxed around her. Even though he admitted he would do anything for her, including changing his whole life, he was still there for her when she chose someone else. She wondered if she would have been that strong if the tables had been reversed.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Did you love me? Back when all of the shit happened."
"You should know the answer to that."
"Be straight with me, Hap."
"Yeah. Of course I love you."
"Like one of the brothers of the club?"
"I don't fuck them."
Happy and Riley both laughed out at his response. He had a point. Although they shared that comradery he sure as hell didn't try to bend any of the guys over if given the chance.
"Ri, if I could love anyone in the world in the traditional sense, it would be you. You and me, we're cut from the same cloth. We're killers. We don't dote on the touchy feely shit. We do what we have to do, fuck who we have to fuck and then we drink to remember or we drink to forget. We're warriors."
Riley nodded knowing that he was right.
"Why don't you ever let anyone in?"
Happy sighed and looked at his hands. She didn't see the pensive Happy very often but she looked forward to it when she did get to see it. She craved his truth, especially when she was confused.
"Remember when you were stripping with that crow-eater on the stage?"
"Which time" Riley laughed out.
"The time when you were doing it to get back at Chibs."
"Yeah."
"You told me that you couldn't let him in because he would die just like everyone else."
"I remember."
"That's why I don't let anyone in. My job is to kill. It isn't to love. I like my job. I like everything around me as convenient and loose as the rest of my life. Pain clouds your judgment. Connections can kill. You're a smart girl Riley. Every time you've been hurt was trying to keep those connections alive or to try to make the pain go away."
"You think I'm weak."
"No, Ri. Far from it. You're one tough ass bitch. Maybe the toughest I know besides my mom. You just choose to let people in. Do I think it's wrong? No. It makes you human."
"Oh so you're some superhuman god?" Riley laughed.
"Only in the bedroom, girl." Happy smirked back.
They laughed together and Riley felt her cheeks go red. They didn't often talk sexually around each other anymore. It made Chibs uncomfortable knowing that they knew each other in that way so they stopped bantering like that.
"I used to be so cold."
"I know. When you first showed up I thought you were a contracted killer to take someone out."
"I saw you holding your piece to the side."
"Huh. I must be slipping then."
Riley laughed and pushed on Happys shoulder. She missed being able to sit and talk with him like this. So much bullshit had been going on lately that she didn't have much time to do anything.
"Today is Sarah's birthday."
"Shit. I didn't know"
"I don't think anyone did. I fucking miss her."
"I know you do Ri. We all do. Let's go for a ride. We can grab some flowers and go see her."
"You don't mind?"
"What? You think you're the only one who has been to her grave?"
Riley smiled towards Happy at the thought. She had just assumed she was the only one who ever went there. She had figured that when she died no one would ever even know who she was. She was fairly new to town and no one ever knew her other than the "lesbian chick dating the woman son."
The two got up and walked towards the hatch to climb down. Riley felt good feeling happy for once. She had so much stress on her in the past few years and smiling didn't always happen. When she climbed down and saw Chibs knocking back more whiskey she rolled her eyes. She saw the crow eater behind the bar leaning forward so far that her tits were almost falling out. She scoffed and continued to walk through the club house not giving a damn about anything but having a good day with Happy and going to visit Sarah.
Happy didn't have many favorite things in life, but being on a bike was one of them. He had quickly discovered that riding next to Riley made the list also. It felt so natural, like she had always been riding next to him.
They had stopped for flowers at the local shop. The old sheriffs wife had been running it but a local took over when she died. They always had beautiful flowers out front and they were always willing to help the club even when the rest of the town wanted them gone.
As they pulled up to the cemetery he could feel the difference in Riley. Instead of looking confident she looked stiff. Her riding style changed along with her body language. They pulled up and parked on the side of the road. He walked over to Riley and draped his arm around her shoulders. He felt her relax slightly under his embrace but she was still looking nervous.
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"No. I do."
They walked up slowly to the gravestone they were looking for. There were flowers on the headstone that looked like they came from a gas station. Riley looked at the card and smiled. Happy looked over her shoulder and saw that it was from Tig. Tig had taken some time to go up to Washington to see Venus. She had moved up there to be with her son and it had taken its toll on their relationship.
"What do you normally do when you visit her?"
"I sing to her. Sometimes I talked to her about how things are going and sometimes I just cry."
"Don't see you cry very often, Ri."
"Yeah. I know. I always felt like I could around Sarah. Now I still do."
Happy watched Riley sit down in front of the gravestone and run her fingers across the letters. He could tell it wasn't the first time she had done that. It was very graceful and delicate. It seemed foreign coming from her. She was always so tough and rough. Seeing her feminine and soft was nice. He sometimes forgot that she was a woman because of how rough they all were together. Happy sat down next to her and placed his hand on the gravestone.
"Thank you for coming with me, Hap."
"Anything for you, Ri."
Riley looked up at him and he saw a smile there he hadn't seen in a long time. It was one of completion. She was relaxed and wasn't worrying about anything. He could see the demons gone in her eyes and what he saw was breathtaking. He could see just how deep blue her eyes were and he missed it. He found it funny that he missed something that he had never seen before. Maybe it was that he would miss it as soon as it was gone. He knew that as soon as they left this place or changed the subject he would see the demons again.
He remembered a picture that Riley had shown him from before she went to Iraq. That was exactly what she looked like now. She had more scars and honestly she had a gimp from all the damage she had gone through, but the look in her eyes was there now. He realized that he was staring into her eyes for longer than he meant to when she tilted her head to the side and smirked.
"Take a picture Hap, lasts longer."
Happy realized that he wishes he could take a picture right now. There weren't a whole lot of memories he wanted to remember but this was one of them. It was peaceful. His life was never peaceful. His life had been hell from beginning to now. He always tried to take the bad with the good, but there wasn't much good to remember. His life was full of meaningless sex and putting bullets in anyone who crossed him or the club.
"What are you thinking about?"
Her words snapped Happy out of his thoughts.
"That this feeling of peace is weird."
Riley laughed and her voice rang out in the quiet cemetery.
"Yeah. It is weird isn't it. I guess it's fitting."
"Why is that?"
"Because Sarah always brought us peace. She was the kind one. She was the one who took care of us when shit hit the fan."
"Alright, girl. We're getting too mushy here."
"Ready to go?"
"Yeah. Let's head out."
He watched as Riley kisses the headstone and rest her forehead against it. He watched her sigh and stand up, pausing for a moment with hand on the stone. She turned and looked at him and half smiled. The demons were back in her eyes as she turned to frown at something behind him.
