4 months later
The subway was being particularly slow this morning; Dean was going to be late for work. Again. He wasn't so bad lately, finding that no dating or one-night-stands on top of crappy TV made going to bed early easier for him.
"You're late." Charlie sang as he walked through the door, having already prepared the shop alone for the day. The smell of coffee was overpowering. Dean never got used to it until the end of the day, where he'd then have to get used to fresh air.
"Subway." Dean explained, mouth full of a strawberry and white chocolate muffin that he'd taken from the counter.
Charlie pouted and started to tie back her long bright hair. "Thought some hottie might have picked you up last night." She sounded disappointed. Dean knew Charlie liked to hear about his flings, it gave them someone to talk about that wasn't nerdy, but still. It was him not getting laid.
"Went home." Dean said, tossing his muffin case to the bin and missing.
"Dean," Charlie said, pointing her hairbrush at Dean in a threatening manner, "It's been like six months since he left. He's not coming back."
Dean took her hairbrush from her hair, "No brushing you rhair in here. It's so unhygienic. And it's been four months, not six."
"You're counting! You're like a love-sick puppy. Always moping. Never going out. He's probably moved on." Charlie said honestly. Dean knew she was probably right.
Dean didn't say anything. Charlie decided to hit him on the shoulder to annoy him. "Hey! What's that look for? Have you been in contact? Is he coming back? How's he doing? Is he getting married?" She didn't give him enough time to answer each question, not that Dean was going to.
"Gabriel talks to Sammy about him, okay? No big deal. He's doing fine."
"Gabriel? That's still going?" Charlie tilted her head, "How does it feel to be the Winchester who's not getting action for once?"
That did not deserve an answer. Gabriel and Sam had still been going for over four months now. Dean couldn't forget how long it had been because Gabriel celebrated each day anniversary with Sam. Sam had been NEC for just under that time. A mix of the weird golden Gabriel and Dr Bobby had turned him into a salad-eating, happy-going nut. But at least he was happy.
Dean had stopped fighting it after Gabriel and Sam went to cooking classes together.
Gabriel updated Dean on how Cas was doing at his new job. Which is extremely well. Leadership was a good fit for him. He was happy there, working well. His cast came off just before he left so work had no longer been a problem. Dean was jealous to hear about the new friends Castiel was making, he couldn't help it.
Cas was doing well. That was what Dean wanted to hear.
Yet it didn't make all the things he'd said go away. It didn't help that Cas had left his coat at Dean's house. His favourite trench coat. Dean had kept it, meaning to give it to Gabriel to pass on. Something stopped him. Mostly that Gabriel had not asked for it back, meaning Cas hadn't either. Maybe Cas wanted Dean to give it to him.
Dean kept those thoughts distant from reality. Castiel hated him. Never wanted to see him again. Exactly what Dean had wanted. Cas had no reason to come back. Charlie snapped her fingers in front of Dean's face.
"Dude, pay attention. You either need to get some, or get him back. I cannot take this moping around. Did you ever ring that guy back?"
Dean blinked and looked at her, "Guy? What guy?" he hadn't asked anyone out since Cas. Not even a cheap fling.
"I don't know. Some real estate person. He owns the area. Technically owns the shop."
"Fuck." Dean hated that guy. Seeing him was never good news. It was either a change in the rent or a new rule or he'd be reminding him. "I hate that guy."
He had to go see him, but it couldn't hurt to wait a little while. See if it was urgent or could wait. In the meantime, he could pretend to be busy. Sam had asked him to come over for dinner tonight, because they had an announcement for hoped it was not a marriage type of announcement, and that they planned to elope in Canada and move to Hawaii.
Charlie spent the day introducing Dean to some new band she was obsessing over, and telling him about her new LARP day where she made out with three different girls because her character was like that.
He really should get back into that too.
They closed up late, which meant Dean had less than 90 minutes to get home, shower, change and get to Sam's place. Charlie gave him a ride home on her motorcycle. Dean had loved that thing since he'd met her. Technically, it was one of the reasons Dean had hired her.
When his Dad put him in charge of hiring, he'd been pleased. Hiring someone was a bitch. All the hot chicks were only looking for a quick job, while they waited on acting or other careers. Some were too smart to work there for too long. The guys were the same, wanting modelling or a chance to plump up their CVs.
Then Charlie had come in, ten minutes late on that killer motorcycle. It had been pretty beat up and smoked down the street. She was wearing a helmet from a roleplaying game and Dean liked her. She made references he got, which was always good.
He hired her after a trial run, which ended the hunt for a worker.
For the thousandth time he thought; she needs a promotion.
The job was along side her night job, which Dean was sure was illegal since it involved a lot of hacking into high-security computers. He knew she did this job for the security and money from it and that was okay. Most people didn't want to work in a coffee shop all their adult lives. She dropped him off, and offered to wait while he showed and changed.
"I'm fine, you should head on home. There's a Lord Of the Rings marathon on tonight."
Charlie grinned, swept back her long hair and put on her helmet, "I know!" She said, and waved goodbye.
Dean put on black jeans and a smart shirt, hoping it wasn't a tie type of announcement. Sam had sounded excited over the phone. Sam was usually happy nowadays.
By the time he got to Sam's house, he was looking crumpled already. Sam looked good. His hair had grown back incredibly quickly, and his weight had also returned, thanks to Gabriel so-called gentle encouragement. Gabriel added that encouragement also happened in the bedroom, which Dean so did not want to know.
"Dean." Sam said, opening the door to him.
The dinner went nicely, but Dean could tell Sam was dying to tell him their news. "Okay," Dean said, "Tell me what's going on."
Sam smiled and looked at Gabriel. Gabriel still seemed to like Dean, despite the whole Cas thing. Dean was sure Sam had told him he hadn't meant any of those things. Or whatever.
"Gabe and I are moving in together." Sam said, squeezing Gabriel's hand.
Dean raised his eyebrows, "Congrats, Sammy."
"You don't seem all that surprised." Gabriel added, although he seemed less enthusiastic and annoying today. Maybe happiness made you less of an asshole.
"Sorry." Dean chewed a piece of bread and swallowed, "I forgot you guys didn't live together." Technically, Sam was meant to live with Dean but he spent so little time there. It felt weird to know this was Castiel's place. That him and Cas almost lived here for a few weeks. Together.
"Well, we thought we'd make it official. Since we have to buy the place now the lease is up. We're already decorating."
It was then Dean realised that it sounded fake. Forced out. He turned to Sam, who looked down at the table.
"What?" Dean said, not holding his tongue. "What's wrong?"
"I went through Dad's documents too. At the shop. Our lease there is almost up too." Sam added quietly. Dean wondered if that was what the land lord wanted to talk to him about.
He loved the shop, the people that worked there. They'd been doing extraordinary well. People loved the shop and Charlie and even Crowley had his moments. They had regulars and new people. Things had been going so well. He hoped the manager would let them renew their lease.
He'd been even thinking of expanding recently. There was enough in their budget for another shop, and Dean's dad had left Dean money from his college fund. Like he was ever going to use it to go to college.
But in the end, he'd pushed that idea aside. Finding a place, refurbishing, licensing, health and safety,hiring and everything else was all too much thought for Dean. He was comfortable.
"It's cool. I'll speak with him." Dean shrugged and it seemed to weaken Sam's concern.
"Beer, anyone?" Sam got up and walked into the kitchen, pottering around.
"So..." Dean tried to be casual, "How's Cas doing?"
Gabriel smirked, "When are you going to pull your head out your ass and call him?"
Dean never got this kind of reaction from Gabriel about Cas. "Is he okay?"
"Better than okay. Loves his job. Meeting new people. Beautiful apartment. Actually calls me sometimes." Gabriel squirted chocolate sauce onto his finger and licked it off.
"He's good then." Dean said. He was glad. Very glad. Meeting new people? Did that mean dating? Who? Someone from his new hospital?
"Dean, he misses you. You're both too bloody stubborn to make the first move. He only calls me to see how you're doing."
"Why?" Dean looked down at the table, unsure how much Gabriel knew about what Dean had said to Cas that day. He knew. He'd repeated it over and over in his head until he was sure it was permanent. He had to remember because it was awful. One of the worst things he'd done. It had seemed like an option at the time.
If he could go back, he'd still tell Cas to go. He'd tell Cas that they'd make it work somehow, that anything was better than this. He couldn't give up the job for Dean but they could do it together. He'd tell Cas that of course he was in love with him. That there was any doubt of that. Cas was not a short term fling.
He couldn't do that. It was all too late. He thought about calling him, maybe finding out his address from Gabriel and going down there to fix what he had broken. But he kept making excuses.
Now it had been months.
"He cares, Dean-o." Sam pretended to be busy in the kitchen.
"He shouldn't." Dean said, "I told him I didn't love him."
"Yeah." Gabriel said, leaning back in his chair, "But he didn't believe you."
Just like that, Dean worked out a plan. He'd been good at plans. He loved Cas and he loves him and Cas cared about him too. Maybe it wasn't love but it was good enough.
He spoke to the landlord, who agreed that he could rent out the coffee shop for another year. He spoke to Charlie, and finally gave her the promotion that he deserved. A little more work, more pay but nothing she couldn't handle. It wouldn't take up a lot more of her time.
Sam was in tip-top health, thanks to Bobby, Gabriel and the doctors and nurses at the hospital. Everything was clear and normal. He was okay.
He went to his bank to sort out his finances, see what they could help him with. It was mostly the organising. He needed to do this as soon as possible.
It took a few weeks of doing nothing but working and he barley had time to think about how Castiel was going to react. Oh hey Castiel. I bought a coffee shop in Chicago so I can be with you. What if Cas sent him away?
Gabriel had seemed pretty sure that Castiel had forgiven him. Dean was too scared to call him first. He thought Castiel walked out, hurt that Dean could say those things. After talking to Gabriel and Sam, he'd actually worked out what Dean was trying to do. He'd followed what Dean had said, hoping Dean would want to try long distance. He'd never heard anything.
Dean wanted to surprise Cas properly. A big romantic cliché gesture. That's how he ended up calling Gabriel.
"Huge gestures aren't really his thing. Got anything sentimental? A running joke?" Gabriel had advised him, for once not acting like an ass when it came to "destiel" as he so graciously called it.
"We were together a month." Dean sighed, "Not a lot to go on."
"How'd you meet?"
Dean smiled at the memory of a scruffy haired Cas, flustering around with files, looks unbearably nervous. "At the shop. I slipped him a note with Sam's room on it so he'd get my number on the emergency contact. And I hoped he'd go see Sam, who'd I probably be with."
Gabriel laughed at him, "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Ooo-kay. First date?"
"I told him I'd buy him a coffee so we went to the shop again. We ate hot chocolate and Cas got us gingerbread men."
Gabriel paused on the phone, as though waiting for more, "Dean Bean. You really need to get better at date planning."
He hung up. It didn't matter what Gabriel had to say now. He had an idea.
"Here's how it's going to happen." Dean said, checking his phone for the ninth time for the times. "I'm flying out there at five to ten tonight."
"It's," Charlie checked her own watch, one in the same of the Hogwarts houses she'd won at a fair, "eight in the morning. Stop checking the time."
"Right. So I'll fly out there. I get a cab to my apartment, drop off my things. Sleep. In the morning, I can check out the shop, area and then phone the hospital to see what time Cas's shift finishes."
"They'll never tell you. Sounds too suspicious."
"Sam talked to Dr. Bobby. Apparently he knows someone on the reception called Chloe. She'll give me the time if I tell her I know Cas and Bobby. I find out what time he finishes. Turn up at his apartment."
Charlie raised her eyebrows, "This sounds like a simple plan."
"It is."
"So why are you telling me like it's the plot to the next James Bond movie?"
"Because it's important! I need to do this right."
Charlie opened up the shop by turning the sign around. No one was waiting outside. "You're moving states for him. What more could he want?"
"Someone who didn't act like an asshole and then not speak to him for five months?"
"Four months. You had a good reason."
"Doesn't matter. You didn't see his face." Dean remembered everything about Cas. He wondered if that was why he could still love him. Cas was special. He sounded like a dork. A love-stuck one.
All Dean could do was hope that Cas would forgive him. He went over the plan again in his head.
He didn't caught his flight. He forgot to confirm his booking. He caught the next flight, which was delayed two hours due to heavy rain.
Why did he not check his flight was booked?
It put him eight hours behind schedule and he arrived around 5am. He barley got time to sleep before his alarm started going off. He groaned and thought of everything he had to do today.
The new coffee shop was looking great. He couldn't open for another couple weeks but it would take him that long to advertise, get settled and get to know the area. And hopefully give him time to fix things with Cas.
He called his work and said he was Gabriel's boyfriend. It killed him to say it but it worked. She told him Cas finished at five, in three hours. Fantastic.
All the way to Cas's apartment, he felt nervous. His stomach knotted and twisted, making him feel worse. He loved Cas. He had to tell him this whether or not Castiel would believe him. He grabbed a coffee from a local place nearby and knocked on the door. He'd picked up the coat Cas had left at his apartment to give back to him.
You saved me when I couldn't help Sam. He thought.
He found the right door.
I knew I liked you from the moment I met you.
He knocked gently.
I never thought I could fall in love and be happy so easily.
He waited.
I can't believe I could ever let you go.
He heard movement inside the apartment.
I'm sorry I lost you. I never want to hurt you again.
Castiel opened the door. He saw Dean and stopped. His mouth open in shock, about to speak.
"I owe you a cup of coffee." Dean said, holding up the cup, "And I love you. I should never have broken what we had because I couldn't see anyway out. I love you, Cas."
Cas ignored the coffee. He looked at Dean like everything was dark and he shone through it all. Dean had never noticed before, he was too busy looking at Cas the same way.
"Ditto." He said. It was all Dean needed to hear.
He fixed it. Everything could be perfect.
AN: Thank you so much for being patient with me! This is the end of this story, I do hoped you liked it. For everyone who followed, favourited and reviewed this story; you're all amazing. I appreciate every one of you.
I'll be posting new stories soon! But if you do want to read more of my writing, I now have a fic rec and writing blog called- onceuponasabriel on tumblr where I write drabbles and other stories.
See you soon!
