L is not like most of the other Alphabets. L is a family man.
"Lenny - Lenny? Have you heard a word I'm saying?"
"Yes, dear. Potatoes, at least 20 of them, large; 1 packet of medium-roasted coffee; 1 large cucumber; 4 tomatoes, also large ones; beans; toast; butter; salt; whitening tooth paste; a packet of hot dogs and toilet paper, the soft kind." He hadn't really been listening, but he had ample training in playing back conversations, memorising as he went along, especially such easy things as a shopping list where he recognized all the words. Besides, all things considered, it wasn't a very long list. Major von dem Eberbach routinely expected them to remember much more than that.
"Papa? Papa? I need more money. We're going on a school trip to Köln."
"Of course, dear. Here you go." He wasn't home much, so he liked to spoil his three children as much as possible when he was.
"Papa? Can I talk to you?" His older daughter, Janine, looked at him with her brown eyes wide and a bit scared, alerting him that something was very wrong. They were alone in the kitchen and, sensing that a hug was needed, he held out his arms. She slipped into his embrace and he held her hard, breathing in the fresh scent of her shampoo and enjoying the rare treat of a daughter's hug. "Papa, I think I might be pregnant."
Thirty minutes later he had established that, no, she was in fact not at all pregnant, more than likely still virgo intacta, but had a very hazy idea on how pregnancies worked and that there was a young man to whom L would have to explain in great detail just how easy it would be for L to either just shoot him and hide the body - or tell Major von dem Eberbach that he strongly suspected the young man to be a cleverly disguised Russian. Kisses were as far as the young man and L's daughter would get before Janine moved away from home, which L estimated would be somewhere around the next century.
The dog, however, was pregnant. No one knew who the father was.
Most days, family man or no, L is rather glad to leave his little house and go to NATO HQs to join the other Alphabets. Things are less stressful there.
