I am trying very hard to update this as much as I can. I kinda suck at that... :-/ But anyways, thank you all who reviewed the previous chapter, and thanks to those who are new reviewers. It means a lot :) I don't have much else to say here, so enjoy this next chapter. Well, enjoy it as much as you can at least, lol. It's less sad than other chapters have been, in my opnion anyways, but still sad.
Chapter 12- You're Gone
One week had passed since the funeral and during that time Robbie Ray had given the public announcement of the true identity of Hannah Montana. Seeing as though he had all the proof in the world that it was in fact true, people took the news without question. Now it was all over the news/media that the world's most beloved pop star had died from internal bleeding due to a fatal car accident. It was pretty much on every single channel much to Lilly's dismay. She knew Mr. Stewart had to do this eventually, but it was making this ten times harder on all of them. Lilly admitted to being Lola Luftnagle so she had to constantly hide from the press. Did they really think she'd be up to talking about her best friend's death after two weeks? People could be so hurtful, so spineless.
To top it all off, Lilly's parents were forcing her to go back to school today. She didn't want to put up with everyone at school now that they knew Miley was Hannah all this time.
Placing her hairbrush down onto her sink, Lilly looked back at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy. Dark bags were noticeable underneath and her skin had paled more. Did she care? No.
"Lilly! Breakfast is ready if you're hungry!" Heather called up from the kitchen.
Lilly sighed, exiting her bathroom. She was never hungry anymore. In fact, she had lost two pounds since Miley passed away. If she didn't eat though, her parents would be all over her, begging her to open up to them and let them help her. That was the last thing she needed. In no time at all, Lilly made it to the kitchen, nearly gagging over the strong smell of eggs, bacon, and toast.
"Morning, kiddo," Randall greeted from the table.
Lilly didn't reply. She slumped in her seat. "…Why do I have to go back?" she asked.
"Honey, you've been gone for about three weeks. You can't miss much more or else you might fall so far behind you won't be able to catch up," replied Heather. "It's your senior year…"
"It doesn't matter how long I'm away from school. Do you really think I'm going to care or worry about homework right now?" snapped Lilly.
"You have to try, Lilly." Heather set a plate filled with food in front of her daughter. "Besides, your Principal wants you to clean out Miley's locker today, remember?"
Lilly's eyes clouded over with sorrow. She had told Oliver to tell their Principal that she wanted to be the one to do it, and he agreed to her request, but she was uneasy about it. The only good thing about it was that the school allowed Lilly to move into Miley's locker instead of some random student. Sadness took over her voice as she asked, "Do I have to stay the whole day?"
Setting his fork down, Randall glanced up. "If you really feel like you can't handle it, you can come home, okay? But I'm not comfortable with the idea of you being alone, so call one of us."
"Fine…" she sighed, poking her food with a fork.
"Just promise us you'll try to stay," he said again.
"Yes, I promise, okay?" Lilly snapped. She ignored the disapproving looks being thrown her way. With very little interest, Lilly continued to poke at the food in front of her. She still wasn't hungry. Pushing the plate aside, Lilly got up.
"Lilly, please eat your breakfast," Heather pleaded.
"I'm not hungry." Lilly picked up her backpack and swung it over her right shoulder. Before her parents could protest, she was out the door.
"Randy, shouldn't we bring her ourselves? You know, to make sure she actually goes?"
"No," he replied. "Oliver's going to walk with her. She'll be all right…"
"I suppose…" Heather then pulled out the egg dish from the oven. "Well, Robbie, Jackson, and Ruthie should be here in a little bit."
Randall looked up. "Did Ruby and Dolly leave already?"
"Last night, I believe." She placed the dish on the table, taking a seat next to her husband. "I wonder what he wanted to talk to us about."
"Not sure… Sounded important, though."
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Heather finished setting the table and quickly walked over to open the door. "Hi, Robbie," she greeted warmly before hugging him.
"Hey…" Robbie returned the hug before entering the house. "Thanks for having us over."
Ruthie shut the door behind her. "Yes, it's nice to get out and about."
"Not a problem at all," Heather replied.
Jackson followed to take a seat at the table with everyone else. He took a look around. "So, did Lilly end up going to school today?"
"Yup," replied Randall. "We pretty much made her. She needed to eventually."
Robbie nodded, agreeing. "How's Lilly doing anyways? I haven't seen her much."
"Not well," Heather sadly stated. "She hasn't been eating much…"
"The poor dear…" Ruthie started to dig into her food. "Miley certainly was crazy about Lilly."
"They were both crazy about each other," Heather softly said. "Hardly ever apart…"
Jackson glanced at his Dad, nodding for him to bring up what he came here to talk about.
Clearing his throat, Robbie spoke up. "About that…" He sighed. "Um…I bought the cemetery plot next to Miley's, and…well, unless you're not okay with it, I was thinking that maybe, perhaps, Lilly would have it… If she wants…"
Both Randall and Heather looked at Robbie in shock. It was such a…generous offer. "I, um…" Heather paused to gather her thoughts. "D-Don't you want that for family or yourself?"
"When my time comes I'm going to be right next to Susan back in Tennessee… Besides, Lilly is family." Robbie stopped to wipe his eyes. "I know Miley would want to be next to her…"
Heather, at a loss for words, got up from her seat to hug Robbie- tears rolling down her face. Randall looked Robbie in the eye from across the table. His eyes held nothing but sincerity. "I think Lilly would want that, too…"
"I'm sorry," Heather said as she pulled back. "I don't mean to cry…" She dabbed at her eyes some more.
"Hey…" Robbie looked at her with all seriousness. "You don't need to be sorry about cryin', okay?" She nodded in reply. Everyone soon continued breakfast in silence; nobody knowing what to say. The silence pained Robbie deeply. Miley always had something to say and right now, he wanted that more than anything. With a shaky intake of breath, he took a bite of his food.
…
Ignoring the constant whispers and stares proved to be harder than Lilly thought it would be as she slowly walked down the school hallways. It had been going on all morning, and Oliver kept reassuring her everything was going to be fine. Surprisingly, to both of them, hardly anyone had actually bothered her. Obviously they all knew about the Hannah/Lola secret. One would think they'd want to bug her about it.
"Lilly! Lilly, wait up!"
She stopped in the middle of the hall to turn to the familiar voice. It was none other than Sarah. Lilly remained silent.
Sarah caught up, eyes sad, and stood in front of her friend. "Lilly, I…" She paused. "I-I'm so sorry…" Her voice was low and sincere. Sarah wanted Lilly to know she was there for her if she needed her to be.
The lump in Lilly's throat increased in size. Lilly's eyes averted downward; she really didn't want to talk about the subject. "I, um… I h-have to clean her locker out…" she hoarsely informed.
"Do you need anyone to be with you? I could go find Oliver…"
"N-No… No, I-I need to d-do it myself," she replied. "But, um…I'm going t-to do that at lunch…"
"Okay…" Sarah nodded. "Just… Just promise me you'll get someone if it's too much to handle, all right?"
"…I will…" Lilly knew she sounded pretty unconvincing, but, again, she didn't care. "I…I need to go…" she spoke, excusing herself. When Sarah waved as Lilly walked away, the blonde had hardly noticed. All Lilly had in mind was to get to class early just so she could sit and settle her mind for a little while
…..
Every single class went by in a complete blur. The only thing Lilly was able to focus on were the empty seats that sat either in front of, behind, or next to her. Tears trickled down her face as she sat in Mr. Corelli's class staring helplessly at the seat in front of her. Turning her view away, she reburied her face into her folded arms. Lunch was after this class and she was dreading it. Cleaning out Miley's locker was going to incredibly difficult.
The bell rang minutes later and all of the students filed out after sympathetically looking over at Lilly; whom remained in her seat. Once they were all out of the room, Mr. Corelli slowly walked his way towards her. "Lilly? Mind if I have a word before you go?"
"Sure…" the blonde deadpanned.
"Look, um…" He took a seat on top of a desk next to Lilly. "I understand that you're going through a very difficult time and that school work is probably not your main priority." Lilly nodded slowly. "Well, while you were gone, I assigned a very important project for the seniors that will take a lot of time and concentration doing…" Corelli paused as Lilly flinched slightly. "No, no… Don't worry. I have something else you could do and it's pretty simple."
Lilly glanced up, looking unconvinced. "…Really?"
"Yes." He placed a black and white Composition notebook in front of her. "The only thing you need to do for this class is just write whatever you want. I'll count it as much credit as the project, no matter how much you write. Would this work for you?"
"Y-You don't have to do this…"
"I insist," he interrupted. "I already talked to the Principal about it. Lilly, the last thing you need to deal with is this project. I want to help you as much as I can…"
Tightness formed in her throat. "Thank you…" she whispered.
"No problem, Lilly."
Grasping the notebook that already had her name and class written on the cover, Lilly stood and walked herself out of the room.
Right outside the door, around the corner, Oliver stood leaning against the wall. Joannie stood in front of him, searching his eyes. "Are you sure you want to wait to eat?"
"I won't be long," he reassured. "I just want to make sure Lilly will be able to do this by herself."
"All right." Joannie gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I'll save you a seat."
"Thanks…" Both of them smiled and waved as Joannie walked away to the cafeteria. Letting out a sigh, Oliver peeked around the corner once again, only this time Lilly was approaching. He stayed silent.
Lilly, on the other hand, was a huge bundle of nerves. Her eyes continued to focus on the lockers she was quickly approaching. Two steps later, she was face to face with her destination. She let out a low, heavy sigh. "I-I can do this…" she whispered to herself. So, with shaky hands, Lilly reached out for Miley's lock and carefully dialed the combination she knew all too well until it clicked. Creaking echoed in the empty hallway when she pulled the locker door open. Just as she expected, everything was neatly in place- just as Miley liked it. Shaking off the urge to burst into tears, Lilly dug in right away by pulling out the school textbooks. Since Miley had always kept papers into selected folders instead of stuffing them into books, Lilly got all the books out quickly and removed the protective book covers. Aside from the occasional tear slipping down from her eyes, she felt that she was doing pretty well at this. Grabbing her backpack, Lilly pulled the zipper open so she could load all of Miley's folders into it. Lilly's heart ached terribly. She gave up on trying to keep herself from crying; it wasn't doing her much good.
Shaking her head, Lilly cleared her head so she could stay focused. Although, when she turned her head to the right, she froze. Various photos hung nicely on the inside of the locker door. There were four to be exact: one of Miley and Jackson each making ridiculous faces, one of Miley and Robbie hugging with warm, happy smiles on their faces, one of Oliver giving Miley a piggyback ride, and, finally, one of Miley and Lilly kissing on the Santa Monica Pier last year. Memories came flooding back to Lilly as she sadly stared at the photograph…
~Fall 2008~
"Shut up!" Lilly laughed, covering her flushed face with her hands.
Miley kept laughing hysterically along with Oliver. They had all just gotten off the rollercoaster, teasing the blonde for when Oliver scared the living daylights out of her near the end of the ride. He had sat behind the couple and reached over to grab Lilly's shoulders while screaming 'Boo' as loud as he could. Miley had been laughing since.
"I-I'm sorry," laughed Miley, wiping tears from her eyes. "You should have seen the…the look on your face!"
"Oh yeah?" She raised an eyebrow. "You should see the look on your face when I chase you!" A laugh now escaped Lilly when Miley's eyes widened and ran off as she chased her. "Get back here, Miles!"
Miley stopped when she reached the railings of the boardwalk and turned just in time for Lilly to wrap her arms around her torso; both laughing. "Why aren't you attacking Oliver? He's the one who scared you!" She smiled.
"That's because I'm the protective male friend and she doesn't want to hurt me," Oliver confidently gloated.
"You just wait, Oken," Lilly spoke. "I'll get you when you least expect it."
Oliver's eyes widened before he flashed an innocent smile. "Have I mentioned how much I love you guys?"
"Nice try." Lilly turned back to Miley, smiling. "What should I do with you, though?"
"Love me forever and ever?" Miley smiled.
Lilly could feel her heart flutter pleasantly. "Sounds good to me." Cupping Miley's right cheek with her hand, she pulled her in for a long, sensual kiss. Neither of them acknowledged the fact that Oliver took out his camera and took a picture of the two of them in such a blissful moment…
…..
"…Forever and ever…" whispered Lilly while placing all the photos into one of her folders for safe keeping. She knew it'd be risky to keep any photos of her beloved Miley in their lockers. Since the Hannah secret was released, Lilly didn't really trust the students at school. She was glad that no one had tried breaking into her and Miley's lockers to get personal items.
Right as she was about to open her locker to transfer her things, noises from down the hall could be heard. Glancing in the directions of the noise, she could see a few guys laughing while walking in her general direction. None of them seemed to notice she was there. One of the guys she knew to be Gabe Lamatti.
"Man, can you guys believe that Miley Stewart was secretly Hannah Montana?" Gabe laughed.
"No kidding," a dark brown-haired guy smiled. "And to think she used to have a thing for you before she started dating Truscott."
Lilly's eyes narrowed as she quietly closed her locker. Her eyes were trained on the small group of guys. Something about the way they were talking was getting to her.
"Dude, trust me, if I had known, I would have screwed the shit out of her. Miley was pretty hot, but damn… Hannah Montana! That just tops it!" All three guys high-fived each other, laughing.
That was the final straw; Lilly snapped. "Shut up!" she shouted, slamming Miley's locker shut, causing the sound to loudly echo.
Gabe's body turned in a flash. "L-Lilly…I, um… What's up?"
"Dude, maybe we should get out of here," the third guy whispered.
Lilly stormed over to them, her blazed over eyes focused on Gabe. Without really thinking about it, Lilly pushed him. Hard. "Don't you ever, ever, talk about Miley like that again, you hear me!" she yelled.
"Whoa, Truscott… Calm down, okay?" He held his hands up in hopes of defending himself. "All I'm saying is that you were lucky to have been able to nail her."
Oliver, still in his hiding place, wasn't able to move fast enough to stop Lilly's next action. In a blink of an eye she brought her arm back and swung to punch Gabe square in the jaw. "Lilly!" he shouted, rushing over to her before she could swing again.
"Take it back!" she spat, tears stinging her eyes.
Holding his jaw in shock, Gabe turned to see an angry Oliver glaring at him. "Dude, I…"
"Just get out of here before I kick your ass, Gabe," he growled, holding Lilly back with both his arms.
All three boys left without hesitation, leaving Oliver alone in the hallway with Lilly. "It's okay, Lilly… It's over. He's gone…"
Not being able to hold it in any longer, Lilly broke down in heavy sobs; nearly dropping to her knees. Oliver's arms turned her to bring her into a comforting hug as tears streaked down her face. Lilly clung to him, wanting nothing more than to be back home where no one would bother her. "I-I…I want t-to g-go home…" she cried out into Oliver's chest. "I w-want my D-Dad…"
"Okay," he soothed. "I'll get you to the office. Let's just lock your lockers up first, all right?" After Lilly gave a weak nod in reply, Oliver led her back over to get her backpack and Miley's textbooks. He securely locked each locker and decided that he would check up on them throughout the day. Once he was satisfied that everything was together, Oliver walked his sobbing best friend up to the Nurse's office. He would deal with Gabe himself later.
…..
Randall switched off the TV when a light knock was heard at the door. He carefully pulled his arm free from around his daughter, trying not to wake her, and slowly stood up. It had been a couple of hours since he picked Lilly up from school, so Randall figured school had to be out by now. Opening the door, he was greeted with Oliver.
"Hey, is Lilly doing any better?" Oliver asked in concern.
"She's sleeping now… Hasn't really talked much since we got home."
Oliver sadly looked down at the photos in his hands. "Well, um… Could you tell her that I moved her stuff into Miley's locker for her? I took out her pictures…" He held them out for Randall to take, forgetting about his bruising hand. "She doesn't want to risk anybody stealing them."
"I'll make sure she gets them." There was a short pause and Randall wanted to ask about Oliver's hand, but decided against it- for now. Instead he asked, "How are you holdin' up, Oliver?"
"Okay I guess," he sighed out. "My mind's been pretty focused on making sure Lilly's all right."
"I'm sure Lilly will pull through just fine. Something tells me Miley's watching out for her."
Smiling, Oliver thought back to what happened the day of Miley's funeral. "Something tells me that, too… Anyways, I need to go meet up with Joannie. Let Lilly know I stopped by."
"Will do. See you around, Oliver." They both gave a single wave before Randall quietly closed the door.
In the living room, Lilly sluggishly woke up, noticing right away of her father's absence. She sat up, rubbing her tired eyes, and glanced around. "Dad?" she croaked out.
Randall rushed back into the family room. "Hey, kiddo." He gave her a small smile. "Oliver just dropped by. He brought these for you from your locker." Lilly gently took them from him after he held them out for her. "He wanted me to tell you that he transferred your things into Miley's locker for you…"
Nodding, Lilly kept her eyes on the photos. The top one was a favorite of her and Miley. Their faces were pressed together with radiant smiles. What Lilly loved most about the picture was how amazing Miley's eyes looked. She could always tell how happy the brunette truly was just by gazing into her blue depths.
Feeling the familiar tightness in her throat, Lilly stood up, shakily, and looked up at her Dad with sorrowful eyes. "I…I'm going to bring these upstairs…" she informed in a near whisper.
"I'll be down here if you need me…"
Lilly walked down the hallway towards the stairs. Pounding pulsed through her head due to the headache she had unfortunately formed from all the stress and crying. Once in her room, Lilly set the pictures on her desk, turned, and stared at her messy bed. She still hadn't slept in it since she and Miley did. Instead, she had placed her sleeping bag on the floor next to Miley's side. That was as close as she could allow herself to go.
Sharp pain shot through her forehead. Pressing her left hand against it, Lilly continued her journey to the bathroom. She had to get rid of this headache.
Blue eyes scanned the medicine cabinet before settling on a small bottle of Asprin. Thoughts swam throughout her mind at the sight of it. Nothing so small, so simple, had ever been more appealing to Lilly than the pills were to her right now. She held onto it; just staring. Those little white pills could solve everything. They could… They could bring her to Miley… She would no longer have to suffer without her; constantly remembering happier times, knowing she could never gain more. Lilly cherished those memories more than anything in the world, but it stung her to no end.
Rattling sounded as she popped the lid open. She was so close to what she wanted. Lilly turned, taking a step forward in an attempt to grab her plastic cup, not seeing a towel that lay on the floor by her feet. Her foot twisted in the soft fabric, causing her to fall forward; all the pills spilling out on the floor around her. Lilly knocked over several other items on her way down, making quite a ruckus. Tears spilled over in frustration. Lilly threw the bottle across the room, smacking hard against the door.
Seconds later, Randall came running into the room. He froze at the sight of his daughter crying helplessly on the floor with dozens of pills surrounding her. His heart froze. "Lilly!" Randall slid down to the floor next to her; scooping her head up onto his lap. "What's going on?" Panic rose in his voice.
"I-I…I need them!" she shouted. "Please, Dad… J-Just let me…"
Seeing her haistily reach out for them, Randall grabbed at her arms, pulling them back. "No!" he sternly voiced. Lilly kept fighting against him, yelling in protest as he kept stopping her from getting to them. "Lilly, please, stop!" After a few more seconds of struggling, Lilly gave up and fell into a heap on her father's lap. It wasn't until then that Randall realized he was crying. Lilly's sad, reddened eyes bore into his. "You don't need them, you understand me?"
Coughs were all that escaped Lilly's throat. Feeling her Dad pushing her hair away from her face made her calm down some. "I w-want to… I-I need M-Miley…"
"Not like this, kiddo…" When Lilly's hand clasped over his, squeezing, he lost any other self control he had. He shed his tears at the fact that he could have lost his daughter. Randall was now truly afraid of losing her. Pulling her further onto his lap, he held her close, allowing Lilly to cry into his neck. If Lilly attempted suicide once, he figured she'd most likely try it again. What scared him the most was that he was terrified that she'd try again when no one was around. 'We need you, Miley," he pleaded in his mind. 'We need you to help keep Lilly safe… Please…'
Closing his eyes, Randall sat in the middle of the now messy bathroom, crying with Lilly at the loss of everything that had made them whole. It broke his heart that he hand no idea how to help his little girl be happy again.
…..
"And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone…"
( "You're Gone" – Diamond Rio)
…..
Thanks for reading. I know the ending of the chapter was pretty crazy, but come on... poor Lilly :( Since I have an outline going for this, and I know what I want to happen in the next couple of chapters coming up, I will try to get more updated soon. I haven't been too good on keeping that promise, but I will try. Thanks again, so much, for reading. Please leave your thoughts. They mean the world to me :)
