To explain this nightmare, I'd have to start from the beginning. I lied about what happened the night I got arrested and what happened when I came back to Lincoln and Michael.
After I came back, Lincoln had a little four year old son running around in his new house. I mean apartment. His wife would constantly lash out on him for the tiniest things. But sometimes she had her reasons.
Their divorce cleared by the time I found a nice motel to stay in. Lincoln stopped by and we. . . well, y'know. We hadn't seen each other in a while. After that night full of love and passion, we agreed that it wasn't going to work out.
I guess having LJ made him think a little bit clearer. We saw each other less and less, and when I found out I was pregnant, I did the worst thing someone in my situation could do. I didn't tell him.
I came to visit him. My stomach was churning. I was afraid that he would somehow know. I told him that, "My friends are going on a trip to Italy and I'm going with them. I don't know how long I will be gone, but I figured I would tell you."
"Like 'ya did last time." Lincoln's face became soft after the words left his mouth. "I didn't mean it to come out like that."
"Sure you did." I joked. He smiled and gave me a hug. We exchanged goodbyes and then I was off to see Michael.
Michael was eighteen by now, he had graduated high school and he was now in college. We met at the park across from the college. Our usual spot. We talked for a bit before I brought up the "trip".
"Michael, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Italy with some friends. I don't know for how long, but I just wanted to let you know."
He was silent until he looked at me with tear filled eyes. "Thank you."
I felt disgusting and ashamed for lying, but I didn't see any other option. Another child would have ruined Lincoln's life.
I then decided I would raise the baby in Joliet, Illnois. I wanted to stay close. Nine months later, I had a healthy little girl named Mary.
She was the light of my life. She had blonde hair which definitely came from me. When I was little girl my hair was blonde just like hers. Mary was my everything.
Mary just turned twelve a month ago. Her dirty blonde hair not far past her ears. She liked to keep it short.
"Mom? Can I come with you?" Mary asks, referring to the restaurant just down the road. It was late, but my boyfriend wanted to "prove his love for me". Or something.
"Sure baby, but you gotta bundle up."
Mary rushed down the hall to her room and in seconds she zoomed out and hurriedly slipped into her shoes.
"Ready!"
In the restaurant my boyfriend hit me a few times because he was mad that I brought Mary, and then he ran off. Mary and I were walking through the back allies because I wanted to avoid him.
I kept hearing someone's footsteps and before I could turn around a loud BANG rang out, and it instantly reminded me of my previous headache.
Mary's hand slid out of my and the thud on the concrete was most definitely her.
"Mary?!"
Blood was spilling everywhere. The bullet punctured through her lower back and went straight through her stomach. Her warm blood was all over my hands. I could hear the sirens in the distance.
"Don't let her die!"
"Veronica!?"
Gasping for air in the backseat of the car, Lincoln and Michael gave me equally strange looks. I wasn't facing ten years for attempted murder.
I was facing thirty for attempted murder against a child.
They think I tried to kill my own daughter. Why couldn't they just let me explain what happened? It would have been fine. I could be with her right now. Holding her, and loving her.
When this is over I'll get to hold her in my arms again. But then we have the Lincoln problem. I just keep lying to him, and Michael. I can't stop, I'm just to good at it I guess.
"Stop. Stop trying to make lame ass excuses." she said to herself. If I want to get out of this, I'll need to tell the truth. Even if it will make a few people angry.
"Hey, who's Mary?" Michael asks.
"Wha?" I was utterly dumbfounded. How could he know that name?
As if he heard me ask, "You said it in your sleep."
"Oh."
"Well?" Lincoln questions after a few seconds of silence.
"Well what?"
"Who is it?"
"Umm?" Dammit girl, get it together.
The brothers in the front were getting suspicious and I was getting worried. They just waited. And now the silence was unbearable.
"shesmydaughter."
"I didn't catch that."
I cleared my throat. "shesmydaughter."
"Little louder." Michael suggests.
"Why do you guys wanna know so bad anyways?"
"You're the one who's making a big deal out of it." Lincoln raises his voice a bit.
"It is a big deal."
They could definitely hear the seriousness in my tone. "It's a big deal and I don't think right now is a good time to tell you guys about it."
Silence. "Another time." I say. Their heads nod in agreement. They really want to know, but they do respect my privacy.
But they will find out. I will tell them when the time is right. Just not now.
