Chapter 12-Bad and Ruin
Buffy sat beside Xander's bed holding his hand. It was too soft underneath the callouses, all his muscle tension gone. The bandage covering his face went over Xander's eyepatch. He would've hated that. Xander thought the patch made him look like Nick Fury. The tube down his throat making him breath pushed his chest up in an unnatural way. The sound was a little like Darth Vader. That, he might have liked.
"I talked to your boss today. All your medical bills are going to be covered. You can take as much time as you need to get better," she said.
Buffy felt like she was slowly freezing from the inside out. A knock at the door made her lift her head. Spike stood in the doorway, a gentle smile on his sharp face. His hair glowed white under the fluorescent lights.
"Hello slayer."
"What are you doing here?"
Willow ducked her head in the room. "He's with me."
"Red pulled me out of a hell dimension, thought you could use my help." Spike sidled up to her. The sight of him made her feel something, like it always did. Even at her most numb and disconnected he could stab through with painful clarity. Her stomach twisted. The last time they saw each other, he'd saved the day. The time before that, he died in front of her. So much had happened in between. She wasn't sure what he wanted from her. All she knew was that she didn't want to deal right now. Buffy forced herself to smile at them. Willow didn't seem to see it, but Spike did. Nothing ever escaped his notice. He sauntered over to her and touched her shoulder. She patted his cold hand. Willow sat on the bed next to Xander.
"Hey there, buddy. I'm sorry we haven't gone out for moo shu in a while. When you get better those teeny pancakes are on me. Okay?" Willow said.
Willow looked at Buffy, her green eyes full of tears. "I think I found a spell to summon Castiel. We need Spike and you."
"Is it a souled vampire thing?" Buffy asked.
"Dawn needs loved ones to draw her back. Red thought I'd suffice in a pinch."
Buffy looked up at him. "Thank you."
Willow stood. She took some spell components out of her bag and laid them in a circle on the floor. Buffy recognized an angel feather. She knelt down on the linoleum and picked up something that resembled a bone.
"What's this?" Buffy held the item up to her face.
"Metatarsal of a Catholic Saint. It was a real challenge trying to find a saint Castiel personally appeared to."
Buffy set it down. Willow gently rearranged the bone to form a perfect ring.
"Okay, ready." Willow reached her arms out to both of them. Buffy took one hand. Spike walked over and completed the circle.
Willow spoke the words, her eyes flashing silver. Wind howled, tossing Willow's hair around her face. The windows rattled. Lights crackled and blinked. Neither Willow nor Spike shied away from the spectacle. The air seemed to press against Buffy.
Then something popped.
Castiel and Dawn stood within the circumference of their arms. Both of them were completely naked. Willow squeaked. Spike giggled. It was a testament to how badly things had been going that Buffy had no reaction at all.
"Why have you summoned us?" Castiel peered at them. Dawn looked down at her nudity and yelped, covering herself with her hands. Buffy took off her long, pink shearling coat and handed it to her sister without another word.
Dawn put it on. "Thanks, Buffy. Clothes were more of a hindrance in the realms where we were traveling."
"No need for explanation, bit. We've all been to those realms. Some of us are itchin' to get back there again." Spike winked at Buffy. She pretended she didn't see it.
"We need your help, Castiel. Xander suffered brain damage," Buffy said. Dawn covered her mouth and tears sprung to her eyes. Buffy kept talking. "His soul is hanging in between this world and the next. The only thing keeping him alive is the ventilator. We need you to heal him."
"I can't bring him back from an injury like that without tapping into major darkness, but you can. It's kinda what you do," Willow said.
Castiel nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry you had to go to such lengths to appeal to me."
"Oh, poor Xander." Dawn went to Xander's bedside.
Castiel followed her. He stared at Xander's face.
"I believe I can regrow his eye, but he'll still develop astigmatism in his fifties."
"That's ultra-extra," Willow said, clearly impressed. "Maybe I should learn some Enochian magic."
Castiel put his finger on Xander's forehead. Everyone in the room held their breath, even Spike, who had no breath. Xander jolted into motion, coughed violently on the tube down his throat, startling all those surrounding him besides Castiel. Buffy ran into the hallway.
"We need help right now. Someone!" Buffy grabbed a passing nurse and pulled her into the room. As soon as the nurse saw Xander, she went to him, and tried to help him take the tube out. The worker, whose name was Rosie according to her name tag, had the tube disgorged fast. She glanced at Castiel out of the corner of her eye.
"Did that man get up here from another floor? Do you need someone to remove him?"
"No, heck no. We had an accident and he needed to change his shirt," Willow moved her hand in the air. Clothes appeared on Castiel-a dark gray suit and a light gray trench coat. "But he's fine now."
Rosie glanced at Castiel again. "O-Kaay. Wacky. I must need sleep. I could have sworn he was naked!"
Castiel laughed unnaturally and way too loud. "How ridiculous that situation would have been."
Xander coughed into his fist, his eye watery and red. The nurse eased him into a sitting position. She checked his eye with a penlight.
"How many fingers am I holding up," Rosie held up two. Xander held up two of his own fingers.
"We were seriously tracking down your parents to see if we could get an organ donation," Rosie said.
"Sweet, furry goodness, what kind of hospital is this?" Xander croaked.
Rosie laughed, "You were braindead, Mr. Harris. I've never seen a patient recover from that."
"That's the power of prayer, love," Spike said.
"He's not wrong," Castiel said.
Once Rosie was sure Xander was okay, she got up to get a doctor. Willow rounded on the group, all business. "You four need to get out of here."
"Why? I've been here every night since Xander's accident. The doctors have been filling me in on all the medical stuff, Will," Buffy said.
"Well I'm his emergency contact," Willow said.
"That's true," Xander's voice was barely a whisper.
"And I need to do a glamour on his eye to make it look all sockety and I figured you needed to talk to your sister, Buffy. Because if I have to talk to her, she's not going to like me much when I'm done."
Dawn stood abruptly, "Willow? You don't mean that."
"Don't push me Dawn," Willow said.
"That's not fair. Half-pint couldn't have known what would befall the boy. You sort always truck in bad and ruin, she can't put her life on hold for that or she'd never do anything," Spike said.
Castiel put his hands on Dawn's shoulders. "It's endearing that the demon thinks of you as a child when you predate his kind by millennia."
"Oy, did you just call me cute?" Spike got up and pointed at Castiel, an inch from his nose. "I'm a bloody warrior."
"I am a soldier of the lord who lifted your mother's soul from perdition after you damned it. Remove your finger from my face."
"Did he just bring up my mum?" Spike asked.
"Whoa boys, no reason to crack wise about anybody's mamas." Buffy put her hands up between them. "We want Xander to be able to keep using his real name."
"Sorry, slayer," Spike stuck his hands in the pockets of his leather duster.
"Yes, that was regrettable," Castiel said.
"Okay, that means you're going with the witch approved plan. So say us all?" Willow asked.
The others all spoke in unison. "So say us all."
Willow snapped her fingers.
Buffy found herself standing in the living room of Dawn's apartment with Dawn, Cas and Spike.
"Red couldn't spare a word of warning first. I think she gave me bloody whiplash." Spike rubbed his neck.
Castiel was naked again.
Dawn shook her head. "Let me get you something to wear."
"I'm sorry everyone. I know this is upsetting to you." Castiel cupped his privates.
"Don't worry about it. I'm so burnt out, Cas, your nudeness is hardly registering right now," Buffy flopped down on Dawn's flowered couch. Spike sat next to her, his arm casually laid over the back. He propped up his feet on Dawn's coffee table, his legs crossed at the ankle.
"And I'm a worldly man who happens to have a bigger plonker than yours, so no harm done," Spike said.
"Physical and psychological exhaustion can be deadly, Buffy. If you need me to touch you, I'd be happy to."
"I bet you would," Spike said.
"Spike," Buffy put her hand on his chest, "He doesn't mean it like that. Besides, you're wasting all that pissiness on the wrong guy. I am dating somebody, but somebody not Cas."
Spike withdrew his arm and folded his hands in his lap. "Is he human?"
She looked from Spike's hurt eyes to Castiel, who was unsuccessfully trying to hide his genitals behind a floor lamp. "Cas, could you go help Dawn find some clothes for you? That might dial down the awkward."
"Right, it's so obvious. Thank you." Castiel did an odd side shuffle into the bedroom to spare them the sight of his backside.
"My boyfriend's human," Buffy said.
"Is it serious?"
"Yeah, Spike, I think so."
"But you don't know. Why, is he bad in bed?"
"Don't do that."
"It's true, isn't it?"
"No, Spike. Come on. Hearing me talk about it will just hurt you. We'll never be like Willow and Xander. I don't want to dish about my love life and I don't want to hear about yours. Like, I want you to be happy and everything, but it would kill me to get specific with it."
"It would?" He smiled.
"Definitely. We're more disaster apocalypse buddies. You know I have your back when you need me and vice versa."
"The rate things are going we'll see each other at least three or four times a year," Spike said.
"Right."
Spike threaded his fingers together. "Not that I want details, or even broad euphemisms, but this bloke does make you happy, doesn't he?"
"Happy is kinda ambitious lately. He is the only thing that's been keeping me sane since Xan got hurt."
"Then I'm glad you have him." Spike bumped her shoulder with his. She could see what Castiel meant by implying he was cute.
Castiel and Dawn came back into the room. Dawn had on a pair of jeans and a purple sweater. Cas wore a gold and white kimono style robe Buffy had never seen before.
"I thought you were finding him clothes," Buffy said.
"This was the only thing that fit him," Dawn sat down across from them. Castiel nestled in beside her.
Dawn gave him a honeyed smile. Then she looked at Buffy. Dawn's face was in full ninth grade venom.
"So are we gonna fight or what?" Dawn asked.
"Willow is the full of fight one."
"Come on Buffy, I've known you since birth. I was you. Just have out with it."
"Fine." Buffy sighed. "Why didn't you tell anybody where you were? You had me scared, Dawnie."
"You're one to talk. Buffy, you never reported back to me, all the time we were growing up. After that it wasn't like you consulted me before becoming a fugitive."
"Were you just getting even?"
"I'm finally figuring out my power."
"And you got drunk on it. Trust me, I know better than anybody what that's like. But you're still human. You've got responsibilities to the people who love you," Buffy said.
Dawn stood up and got in Buffy's face. Cas grabbed her around the waist to hold her back. "How dare you! You died, Buffy! You died. You left me all alone."
"You didn't die, Dawn. But somebody almost did."
Dawn looked like she was winding up to really yell. Her face got red and her lips stretched wide. Instead, she blipped out of existence.
"Dawn!?" Buffy screamed.
"I'm sorry, she does that sometimes. In moments of intense emotion, she can't control herself," Castiel said.
"Do you know where she is?" Buffy asked.
"Yes. There's a timeline where we keep a home. We interact in a way typical to human beings that isn't afforded to us in this reality. I usually find her in bed there petting the cat."
"When you say typical, what do you mean?" Spike asked. Buffy elbowed him in the ribs.
"Little pleasures that she experiences and I can't. In our realm, we can share them. She feels more real there than anywhere else."
"She needs to come back here. She has to defend her thesis pretty soon and she's going to lose her adjunct in the fall if she doesn't go back to complete her degree."
"Do you really think she cares about that now?" Castiel asked.
"I don't know. The Dawn I knew; her degree was the most important thing in her life. She wanted to become this great keeper of knowledge and arcana. Now, I don't know who she is or even what she is. Before she met you, the bunker would have been her Holy Grail and Ark of the Covenant rolled into one. She's never even set foot in it with me."
"She and I traveled through time to simultaneously watch both of those holy relics come into existence. We also witnessed the filming process of all four Indiana Jones films," Castiel said.
Buffy stared at him.
"In these worlds that you and Dawn travel through, do we even exist?" Buffy asked.
"Xander has existed in all, Willow in most. This is the only timeline in which you exist, Buffy. The spell Willow used to bring you back to life destroyed every other version of you across time and space."
"In Dawn's perfect world, I'm dead?"
"No, you never exist, and neither does she," Castiel rubbed his forehead.
"Well that's just peachy with a side of keen. If she won't come back for me, at least take her back to see Dean and Sam. They might be able to help her feel, like maybe she belongs."
"I can do that. How are the Winchesters?"
"Good. Shoved the devil back in his hole without any of your celestial seasonings."
"I suppose both of us have been denying our responsibilities. Good bye, Buffy. William." Castiel vanished.
Buffy buried her face in her hands.
"Winchester's the boyfriend, then?" Spike asked.
"Yup. We're all tangled up together now."
"You've got a type."
"I like 'em legendary."
"Guess it takes one to know one."
"Thank you."
"You want me to stay the night, love? On the couch, of course. Don't need to provoke the ire of those blokes."
"That's alright, Spike, but I appreciate the gesture."
He patted her shoulder. "I'll show myself out."
She accompanied him to the door anyway. Spike wasn't one for lingering goodbyes, so he left without further ceremony. She set the lock behind him.
Buffy sat down on the couch for a moment with the intention of getting up again to eat. Presumably Dawn still needed to eat, so she would have to go down to the corner shop for groceries. Which she was totally going to do...until she fell asleep.
