L'appel du vide

French – "The call of the void" is this French expression's literal translation, but more significantly it's used to describe the instinctive urge to jump from high places.

Kagura's hands trembled slightly.

She had been the first to leave this time, for that she was somewhat proud, that she had been the one to leave him sitting in the dark. Now she wandered the palace, hoping to rid herself of the giddiness fluttering about her chest. She smirked, and he had invited her back, well the expectation in his voice had been more than an invitation. Really, that bastard couldn't drop the haughty attitude for two seconds.

"Kagura-chan!" Hotaru screamed, alerting the kaze-youkai to the impending hug. She quickly averted it by sending the kitsune flying with a gust. "We were so worried! Sesshoumaru-sama took you away so fast we didn't even know where to look!" the kitsune whined from the deck.

"Well good! You probably would've kept me awake all night will all your weeping!" Kagura huffed, turning away to look out at the gardens. Noriko had come to stand next to her.

"I'm glad you're alright." She said, tugging on Kagura's sleeve.

Kagura nodded with a smile. "Did I miss anything?"

"No! Kamiko-sensei was too upset over you being hurt that she told everyone to rest yesterday and today. She was scared that you wouldn't be able to dance!" Hotaru pouted, still crouched on the floor.

"As you can see, I'm fine," Kagura shrugged.

"Oh!" the kitsune jumped up, a fanged grin overtaking her face, she leaned towards the kaze-youkai, sniffing. "You have some explaining to do, Kagura-chan!"

"Hn?" she raised an eyebrow, leaning away from the questioning nose. "What are you talking about?"

"I noticed it, too, but didn't want to mention it…" Noriko nodded along with the kitsune, nostrils flaring slightly as her eyes looked Kagura up and down. "You're covered in Sesshoumaru-sama's scent."

Eyes wide, she grabbed the collar of her kimono, pulling it to her nose to inspect it with a heavy sniff. There was a decidedly different smell to it, more spice than usual. She hadn't noticed it before, as she had been surrounded by it not so long ago, besides the fact that her sense of smell wasn't as defined as the two canines staring at her.

"So, Kagura-chan, care to explain what exactly happened last night?" Hotaru couldn't stifle her giggle. "Or would you prefer-" her voice dipped "-somewhere more private?"

"There isn't much to say…" Kagura muttered, suddenly becoming very interested in her bare feet as she felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

"Not much is more than enough!"

Kagura felt like her arm would be pulled from it's socket, the way the kitsune was tugging on her hand too eagerly. Noriko followed behind them, amused by Hotaru's excitement. Luckily for them, they had been in a more secluded area of the palace, closer to the barrier's edge, a place where the tidy gardens quickly gave way to the forest. The forest that, if Kagura turned just to the right, would eventually lead to Sesshoumaru's private dwelling. Not now, but later.

"So!" Hotaru stopped before a fallen log, swinging Kagura around to pat her down onto it, the kitsune backed away with her arms folded across her chest. "What happened last night?"

The wind witch merely looked up at the two questioning stares aimed at her, wondering how she would get herself out of this one.

"Well, if you're not going to say anything, we'll assume the worst." Noriko mumbled, taking a step back to lean against a tree. Her smirk was too knowing for Kagura's liking.

"And what's the 'worst', hm?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and raising her eyebrows.

"That you've become Sesshoumaru-sama's mistress, of course."

Kagura nearly choked on air.

"It's not strange, really, though I've never known him to have one here in the palace…" she continued, bringing a finger to her chin. "I'd consider you lucky, it's a feat many considered impossible to accomplish."

Hotaru leaned in now, close to the wind witch's face. "Tell us, Kagura-chan, what's he like? Oh!" she jumped back, hands slapped to her cheeks, "I can just imagine it! Kagura-chan! I'm so jealous!"

Kagura couldn't take her eyes off the clenched fists in her lap. Mistress. A mistress. She couldn't even wrap her head around that. It was just something she had never considered.

They hadn't done anything of the sort, the things that a mistress was there for. Well, close enough, and he had invited her back. Despite how young she truly was, even she understood the implications of that.

And she would go, they both knew it. Because she wanted it, too.

But to be his mistress. His whore. The connection had simply never crossed her mind. It wasn't exactly what she had been… envisioning… between them.

She wanted him. Always had. That wasn't even a question.

Of course she enjoyed the time they spent together, the intimacy, when they shared it.

His mistress.

She couldn't see herself being anything else to him, though. She couldn't imagine being his mate, spending the rest of her life here. It would seem so… strange. Being a Lady, prim and proper and cooped up in the palace, protected and wound up in silk, bearing strong sons. Nor could she imagine just leaving him, even though she had said she would. That had mostly been a bluff, a threat. One that he hadn't responded to.

And why should he, the pompous dog. He was above such things, wasn't he? It didn't matter to him, and she shouldn't expect it to.

Why should he care now, when he had never before? Before when she was helpless, when she was still the same but so different. When she still stunk of death and fire and a hanyou that was never meant to be a hanyou. He didn't care.

At least she could console herself with the knowledge that he at least considered her for the position of his mistress. Hn, be happy with the small things…

"Ne, Kagura-chan, why do you look so sad? You should be happy," with the small things, "do you know how many of the girls here have tried doing what you've done?" Hotaru was still going on. Be happy with… "I mean, I know he's a bit cold and reserved, but you'd think he'd at least need someone to warm his bed every once and a while!" Be happy. "Think of all the great things you'll get! He is one of the wealthiest lords in the land, you'll get everything you want!" Be happy. "Mou… Kagura-chan, you are so lucky!"

But how could she be happy, when it hurt? It just fucking hurt.

She didn't want to be his mistress, his concubine, consort, courtesan, whore.

She didn't want to stay in the palace, if only for the odd occasion when he wanted an easy lay.

She didn't want the jewelry and the clothes and trinkets. What need did she have for them? None at all.

She wanted mornings like this one, close and warm and calm. The sound of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest beneath her ear. Golden eyes, with flecks that sparkled in the sun, bloodied cheeks, claws that bit her skin and held her too close to fire. The warmth he offered, the rumble in his chest when he spoke, or when he growled. The superiority and the smooth voice, the cold façade that she could crack, if she worked at it. That spicy smell and the buzz of strength that permeated his skin. She wanted calloused hands that crushed her heart more than Naraku's ever could.

She wanted them so much. So much it hurt.

And so she would go back, to him. And she would let him have his way with her, let him fuck her. If it meant she could stay. And she would do it til he tired of her, til he found someone else, til she couldn't handle it anymore, til she died. And she would hope that his claws didn't pierce her skin too deep, that his fangs wouldn't split her lips each time he kissed her. She hoped that he would let her spend the nights with him, would just sleep with her. Hoped when he found a mate, that when the bitch got too whiny or too chatty, that he would still come to her. She hoped for these things, even though they would be small, because she…

"Oh, fuck!"

Hotaru, who had still been babbling, jumped, her eyes wide and staring at the wind witch.

"Now, now, that's not what you're supposed to call it," Noriko chided, stepping forward, "it's 'entertainment'…" she stopped when she was only a foot away, staring at her, "But why are you cursing?"

The heat rose in Kagura's face, her heart beating too quickly and thundering in her ears. "I…" she noticed the blue creeping in around them on the breeze, she ignored him. "We… haven't done… anything like that." She amended, not wanting to spew declarations when she herself was not sure of them.

"What?" Hotaru screeched, "you mean to tell me you were with him all night and didn't do anything?"

"I never told you I was with him all night." She gave the kitsune a pointed glare. "And no, I have not 'entertained' him." she rolled her eyes at Noriko.

"Oh, yeah, I kind of spent the night in your room last night, sorry." She brought a finger to her chin. "but that's strange!"

Noriko took another step, leaning forward and sniffing in Kagura's direction once again. "You're lying." She said, standing straight. "Really, Kagura, you can just tell us. Neither of us are after him anyways."

Kagura sighed. "We've kissed, but…"

"You kissed?" Hotaru sounded somewhat disappointed. "I never knew Sesshoumaru-sama was so…"

"Charming?" Noriko offered.

"No…" the kitsune thought long and hard for a moment. "Innocent…"

Both the inu and kaze-youkai burst out laughing. "Innocent? Really?"

Hotaru shrugged. "It just doesn't seem like something he would do, you know?" she pursed her lips. "That's better for you, though, less work with the same benefits."

"Tch." Kagura stood, intending to go back into the palace.

"Kagura-chaaaan, where are you going?" the two were following her.

The wind witch spun quickly on her heal to face them. "He… told me to come back." The blue that tinted the edges of her vision vanished.

Hotaru gasped. "That's great! You're going to go, right?"

"Hmph." But she allowed herself to nod slightly.

She would go, she just couldn't say the reason why.

~xXxXxXx~

"You're going?"

Kize stood just behind her on the deck, watching her back against the dark of the forest.

"Hn, you don't think I should?" Kagura turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. She let her toes grip the edge of the course wood, almost afraid to step off and continue.

"I won't tell you what to do, Kagura." He couldn't keep her gaze and dropped his eyes to the ground before them. "I just think you should reconsider jumping into this." He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I appreciate the concern, but it is my decision."

"I never said it wasn't."

Kagura nodded and turned back to the darkness. "Sorry," she muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.

He didn't get to ask what she meant before she jumped.

This ones on the shorter side again, but hopefully next chapter will make up for it? *wink wink

Anyway, reviews make me happy, they really do.