New chapter!
A/N: Enjoy!
Katrina- what you vaguely remember might have actually been this story bc I used to have an "un-logged-in" reviewer with your name lol. I don't want to mention the username I used to use b/c the guy who was bothering me is a computer/networking geek so I don't want to say anything that will point towards me.
Chapter 12- Vacancy
"I like that dress," said Hans from across the table.
I smiled and placed my fork upon my plate, looking down at the red and white polka dot dress. It was one of my favourites too but it needed a desperate cleaning now that there was blood spattered around the hem. I looked back up at Hans and smiled. "Thank you," I said and rose from my chair, intent on cleaning up the table.
I found it hard to believe that despite the mess I had quite an appetite. Hans didn't say much throughout the meal and I was too shocked by the previous events to say much either. I was hoping to piece things together on my own. I wondered if he'd be proud of me then but it was a lot to consider.
I could barely believe him when he whispered his confession over the dinner table that he had been the one to kill Dr. Kirsch. I thought perhaps I had heard him wrong-that I was in a state of delirium. He looked up at me with softness in his eyes and said, "I'll take care of the big mess if you don't mind taking care of my uniform and the dishes by your self tonight?"
It was a question but a simple nod was the only answer I could give him. 'No' was never an option with Hans.
After that night passed, it was as though it were all a dream. There was never any mention of the events that occurred that night. After everything had been cleaned and our wounds bandaged, not a word. Weeks passed and I began to think it truly had been a dream. There was no mention of Dr. Kirsch or my safety being put in jeopardy by any other intruders. My attackers were of course not mentioned and Hans only kissed me on the head or cheek…never the lips…not after that night. I wondered if he did it on purpose to keep me confused- to make me feel like I was losing it. As time passed the line between my thoughts and my reality faded especially in regards to that night.
A month had passed all together since the incident and I was now 2 ½ months pregnant. There were still no major changes, no belly bump but I knew something was in there. Hans continued to take me out to dinner every week but had suggested that we be more social. He insisted that I must crave other intellectual interaction besides him and started taking me to social events a small get-togethers with other high ranking officials and people of stature.
I remember little about these dinners besides feeling alienated. Even though we were out and about, mingling with others they weren't interested in me. Who was I but Hans Landa's servant? I cooked him meals, starched his collar and cleaned his sheets…that was all really. It was as though I was running a hotel strictly for him as there were no other vacancies. Besides, I had nothing to say to these people. I had nothing in common with them. In return, I often tuned out their conversations and let my mind wonder to various things.
I do recall fussing at Hans once, not meaning for the entire table to hear me berate him on how he massacred his food. He had ordered chicken that night and impaled the poor bird over and over with his fork, tearing the meat into strands.
"Hans," I whispered in his direction. "It's dead." I smiled at him knowingly as he looked back at me in shock. The entire table erupted into laughter and I blushed. Hans smiled at this and leaned forward to kiss me on the head. That to me, was the only highlight from those dinners.
I do remember one other occasion that was not so pleasant around this time. An older woman was speaking to Hans and said the words, "I know too many of your former conquests to fall into that honey pot." She looked at me with a wink and a smile and I couldn't help but be angered by the statement. Of course it was stupid to think he wouldn't have been with other women but just how many were there? And how often? Conquest. The word left a bitter taste in my mouth and I had spent the rest of the evening in deep thought. He noticed and asked several times if I was all right, sounding genuinely concerned and forcing me to face him so that he could study my features as I nodded in response. This only seemed to make his frown deepen. The trust that was once there was fading again. We both sensed it but where would it lead us?
The next day our routine was normal. Hans went to work and I cleaned, listened to the radio and watched the leaves fall from the trees as I cooked dinner. I had felt funny the night before but attributed it to my grumpiness with Hans and the 'honey pot' comment. As I was cooking, I stood at the corner of the counter and a sharp pain travelled from my head to my toes then seemed to resonate around my stomach, right where it had hit me the night before. I dropped my mixing spoon and clutched the countertop as I slid to the ground. I sat there for a moment, thinking it was just a minor cramp then that I was going to be sick, then that I had a headache. I even thought for a moment that I might die. I knew that stress and emotions could do horrible things but I couldn't imagine what this could be until I felt the moisture between my legs. I pushed my left hand under the hem of my skirt and pressed it against my inner thigh. Lifting it back out slowly, I studied the warm substance covering my palm. I was sickened. To think I had been getting used to the idea of the baby.
When Hans came home that evening I listened quietly from the bathroom. He called out to me, alarm evident in his voice once he reached the kitchen and saw the evidence all over the floor. I heard his footsteps fast approaching. I knew I must've been quite the sight. There I sat, perched on the toilet barefoot and bare bottomed with naught but one of his thermal undershirts covering my torso. I reached out to him with a bloodied hand and began to cry at the sorrow I saw cross his features. He was disappointed too.
He didn't say a word. He walked in, his black boots thudding softly on the tiled floor and removed his leather jacket and gloves. He kneeled down in front of me and rested his head on my thigh and rubbed a hand along my calf as I sobbed. He tried to silence me with gentle humming but other than that, said nothing. I removed his hat as the rim began to dig into my thigh and placed my clean hand in his hair.
"Hans," I began. He looked up. "Does feeling relieved make me a bad person?" I asked through my sobs.
He reached up and wiped away my tears. He shook his head and smiled. "You could never be a bad person," he said.
"You mean to say that I can't be like you." Again, he merely looked at me but said nothing, then dropped his gaze between my legs.
"We'll need a doctor to be sure you are alright and it's not something else," he said, rising to his feet.
"No, Hans," I pleaded. "No more doctors. I don't trust anyone else but the one you saw fit to do away with." I had not meant to yell at him.
He grabbed my shoulders, nearly lifting me from my seat. "I trusted him too," he said in a deep, gruff voice. "But we can't help that. He's gone now."
"Why? Because of you."
"I did what I had to do," he argued.
"But why him? He was your friend was he not? Why did you have to kill him?"
"It's none of your business. Classified."
"Aren't you ever going to let me in?" I asked, defeated.
He loosened his grip on my shoulders and kneeled back down.
"I'm tired of arguing Hans," I said as I leaned forward and rested my head on his shoulder. "I don't want this tension between us. I don't want to argue anymore. I love you."
If he was shocked at all by this statement it did not register in his breathing or in his muscles. He knew. He had always known and infuriating as ever, he did not respond to my liking. I'm glad now that he didn't. "You don't know me," he said.
He pushed me back up and tapped his finger on the tip of my nose before standing and walking out of the room. "I'll call for a doctor," he said from the hall and I heard him pick up the phone on his desk and dial a handful of numbers. The conversation was a mumble. I sobered myself. I thought we had made a deal to be open and trusting of one another? Yet he was still so cold. Two could play that game.
The next day I waited for Hans to leave for work before I got out of bed. Really nothing out of the ordinary. The night before had been a blur. I had forgotten the new doctor's name as soon as he introduced himself. It was the first and last time I ever saw that man who was significantly older than Kirsch had been and much more feeble. It was confirmed. I had a vacancy inside of me. I still held mixed feelings towards the issue.
In an emotional outrage I decided I was going to leave Hans. I began packing my clothes into the suitcase with haste. However, once noon struck I realized I was starved and in eating a hearty sandwich and thinking things through I decided it would be a stupid move to leave him. I was clearly upset and not thinking straight. He would know where to find me. He knew my house and I'd nowhere else to go with only the 100 spare marcs of his I still had stashed under my mattress. I recall screaming out loud in frustration at being in love with someone I barely knew and who was very confusing in regards to me. I hated it here. Here he was my job and my salvation. My life revolved around Hans Landa and I hated him for it.
After lunch, I took a deep breath and rose from my chair. I retreated back into my room and carefully put everything back in its place. I tucked the suitcase away just as Hans came through the door. I glanced at the clock. 2pm. He was early. For half a second it occurred to me that maybe it wasn't Hans after all so I stood by my door and listened quietly to the sounds in the kitchen.
He was talking to someone but I heard no response. He sounded like he was talking to a child but his footsteps were the only ones I heard. He dropped something on the kitchen floor. I heard the sink run for a bit then another something on the floor...thats two somethings, I thought. He placed more somethings on the table and I heard a paper bag being crinkled as he called out to me. I waited silently by my cracked bedroom door. I didn't answer at first because I had been lost in study, feeling as though I was in someone else's house when I shouldn't have been and they suddenly came home. "Yes," I choked out a response.
"Could you come here for a moment?"
I opened the door and walked along the carpet with my bare feet until I reached the kitchen. I looked at Hans who smiled at me. That smile. That infuriating yet charming smile. Butt-chinned asshole.
"How are you today?" he asked with open arms. I walked towards him and regretfully fell into them as though I was the opposite end to his magnet. Magnetism. He was so warm.
Before I had time to respond or study what he was doing, I saw something small and black run out from under the table and slide across the kitchen floor, crashing into the oven door. I looked to Hans in disbelief and he smiled back with a single nod of the head. I turned back towards the oven door and kneeled.
I'll never forget that moment when he looked up at me. His doe-brown eyes and leathery black nose- the way it twitched as he studied the air. The hair across his chest and on the tip of his tail was honeyed and light in contrast to his black back and paws. His tail wagged so hard as he walked up to me I thought he was going to swing it right off. I picked him up and touched his wet nose to my face.
"Well hello there, mister," I said. "You're so cute." My previous frustrations with Hans went completely out the window. Damn that man. He kneeled beside me and studied the German-Shepherd pup from over my shoulder.
"This is your baby now," he said. "And he'll be good protection when I'm not around. He's got a bit of growing up to do though." Hans chuckled and I felt his breath against the back of my neck. He stood. "I've got to go back to work. I'll be home normal time." He leaned over and kissed my head then was out the door before I could say a word.
I couldn't believe he had purchased a dog. This was like starting a family...this was semi-permanent...right? I was frustrated again. His signals were confusing and I found myself talking out my frustrations with Max.
"Max," I repeated as it had flowed so effortlessly into my frame of mind. "Is that what we'll call you?" He wiggled as I held him close and buried my nose in his fur. The puppy smell was still there. He licked my face with a tongue that was way out of proportion to the rest of his body and I reeled back at the smell. "Puppy breath too, I see."
I stood with Max in my arms and saw the items on the table. There was a collar, tags, a leash, a bag of food and a chew toy. That man never forgot a thing. I was still angry though and in my shock over the puppy could hardly say anything when he was there. What did he mean after all by 'when I'm not around?' Did he simply mean for when he was at work or when he wasn't around for good?
Max was a healthy distraction for the rest of the day and I kept dinner simple as I had devised a plan to get a little more out of Hans this time around. There would be no escaping this. The man loved games and surely he wouldn't turn down playing one with me...
A/N: Phew! Been a long time coming, I know! TY for 1300 hits!
I am trying my best to put the issue with the other fic behind me. I forced myself through the first three chapters of that story and found more similarities to my story. When I say similarities I don't mean slight familiarities, I mean things are the same –dead on. So far though, it appears that she has strayed from my plot in later chapters. So really what can I do?
Some of you have said to me that my story line is common but until I came across that one, I had never seen another one like it so I don't know what you guys are reading. And like I said, I know it's fanfiction but as an aspiring writer who studied literature in college, the thought of having my images and ideas mirrored in some high schooler's fantasy disgusts and appalls me. Anyway, on to more writing!
