A/N: I think it's about time we had some sauce, kthx. ;D Also, I know Mercer was meant to be in this scene somewhere, but I can't help wandering how the hell he managed to get from the Endeavour (which, by the way, was BROKEN) to the Dutchman in like, record time, when the Endeavour was chasing the Pearl, which was going in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO THE EMPRESS. D: Did he catch a ride in the Tardis?! So yeah, right now he's on the Dutchman, not on the Endeavour. XD

Disclaimer: Nothing from the Pirates of the Caribbean series belongs to me. Theoli and I apologise in advance for our bastardisation of this awesometastic series. Isaviel Gale and Theoli Runkle are self-insert original characters who belong to their respective real life counterparts.


So Sue Me: Self-Inserts at World's End
Chapter Twelve: Devious Plots

I.

Isa set her teacup down onto its saucer, absentmindedly staring out of the cabin window at the Pearl which stood empty except for the two naval officers who were standing guard. When Beckett had led her back onto the Endeavour he had offered her some tea - and she wasn't one to refuse a good brew - and the two had sat, as they had done before all this had started, silently sharing a pot of tea. Isa assumed that he would want some sort of report of what had happened on the trip and her assumption was confirmed when he eventually spoke.

"So you went with them on their little trip, and you didn't tell them who you were."

It was more of a statement than a question, but Isa replied nevertheless. "We hardly had any choice, Mercer had the entire Naval presence in Singapore aiming their weapons at us." She lifted her cup to her lips again, grimacing slightly at the memory. "I doubt the pirates would have taken to us well if we'd walked up to them and said, 'oh hi, we're hired by Lord Beckett, but could we tag along anyway?'."

Beckett showed vague amusement at the sarcasm. "It was merely an observation, Admiral."

"You were serious about that?"

"Serious?"

"Making me Admiral."

"Indeed," he nodded his head towards the desk at the far end of the room. "Your uniform is waiting for you."

"My what?" Isa turned to look, and sure enough on the desk was a neatly folded Naval uniform. A sudden rush of nostalgia flooded through her, although the memory she was reliving wasn't from that long ago; it was of the moment the girls had left the uniforms they had been given before to travel to Singapore. They'd been through a lot during their journey and had grown as people, as individuals... in the process they had begun to grow apart and followed different paths.

Silently, she stood and walked over to the uniform, running her hand gently along one of the beautiful lapels studded with gleaming gold buttons. The material had that 'brand new' feeling about it; crisp, clean,shiny. She turned back to Beckett, clutching the uniform to her chest. "This is mine?"

He nodded.

"The colours are different to the standard uniform." Instead of the bright yellow and blue, her uniform was comprised of autumnal colours, browns, rust, deep green and maroon; it really was beautiful.

"I remember you mentioning you weren't particularly fond of them so I had them changed."

Isa blinked, hardly believing what he was saying. "You had a uniform with a totally different colour scheme made just for me?" He nodded again. Isa blushed and set the uniform back onto the desk before quickly making her way back to the table. "You do realise I haven't got the first idea about what the hell an Admiral actually does, right?"

"I had made that assumption, yes." He took a sip of his tea.

"...and you're making me Admiral. Some people would say you'd lost your mind."

"I daresay you'll learn quickly enough." He waited until Isa lifted her cup to her lips again before adding, "I want you to take command of the Pearl."

It was a good thing that they weren't sitting facing one another because Isa sprayed her mouthful of tea out, letting out an undignified gurgle whilst slamming the cup down, coughing to try and get tea out of her airway. A more suspicious mind would suspect that Beckett, who was trying to hide his chuckling with his own teacup, had waited until the 'right moment' to break the news. Isa had a more suspicious mind, but didn't broach the topic. "Me?"

"You."

"After saying that I don't know how to steer ships and do Admiral-y things."

"Yes."

"What if I sink it?"

"Unless you blow a hole in the hull, I doubt there's much you alone could do to sink the ship. There's reading material in the cabin for you to review before you try anything, and the crew can give you a helping hand."

"I assume you mean the officers, not the pirates."

"That, I do."

There was a knock at the door, and at Beckett's command the officer entered the room, giving each of its occupants a respectful nod before speaking. "Lord Beckett, one of the prisoners had something..." He held out the compass Isa had given to Jack.

"Ah, I believe that belongs to the Admiral."

Once the compass was handed back to Isa the guy left. Isa opened the compass and watched the pointer as it spun round and round, smiling sadly when the pointer came to a halt. It made her think of Theo, of the friendship she may just have obliterated to do what she had to do, of the times they had been able to rely on one another for anything, anytime. When Isa looked up from the compass she noticed Beckett staring at her. "What?"

"Regrets?"

"None at all."

"You betrayed your closest friend and know that you've condemned her to the hangman's noose and you have no regrets whatsoever?" He raised an eyebrow. "Knowing you as I do, I find that hard to believe."

Isa set the compass onto the table, resting her hand on top of it, thinking a while before answering. "I don't regret what I've done. I feel sorrow towards the fate that awaits those I've accompanied for the past weeks, and I feel sad that my friend may have to face the same... but I do not regret the path I have taken."

Beckett stood up and paced the room for a while before speaking again, "You don't regret that your path means your friend's death?" He stood behind Isa, looking out of the window.

She shook her head. "It's not my path that dictates her destiny; it's her own."

There was a short silence.

Without warning, Beckett leant down so that his lips were an inch from Isa's ear, placing one hand on her shoulder and the other over her hand, which was still resting on the compass. "And what did this point to?" He said softly, giving her hand a light squeeze as if to make it obvious what he was talking about.

The whisper sent shivers down Isa's spine. "I think you know that," she strained to reply, closing her eyes for a moment and willing herself to calm down, telling herself that this really isn't anything to get heart-eyes over and knowing that she was blatantly lying.

Isa slowly turned her head, feeling her blush deepen as she felt Beckett's lips lightly graze her cheek. She stared into his blue eyes, transfixed on her as opposed to the compass that was under her hand - their hands - but after an all too brief moment he straightened up, leaving Isa with a familiar feeling of longing for the warmth of his hand over hers. He walked back around the table, taking his seat, still watching the young girl before him whose heart was going a mile a minute. Thankfully for her, he decided to change the subject, so she had something else to focus on.

"How about you tell me about the past few weeks?"

So Isa began her lengthy report about their travels between the time the two hard parted company to the present day, describing the places they went to and the troubles they faced as they travelled to the end of the world, falling off the edge into the unknown. She talked of how Jack had appeared aboard the Pearl, sailing along the sand before the ship met the water, and also of the barter she had made to get the girls aboard the last ship out of the Locker.

Beckett didn't say a word as he sat and listened, eyes fixed on Isa during the whole explanation, moving only to pour himself a fresh cup of tea.

II.

"I can't believe she betrayed us," Will muttered.

"I can't believe you betrayed us," Elizabeth countered, holding the bars of the cell she was in, trying to catch a glimpse of the deck through the stairway.

"Him, I'm not particularly shocked about but her? I didn't suspect her as the type." Barbossa shook his head.

Theo said nothing. Ever since they'd been thrown into the brig the crew had done nothing but voice their displeasure at being put in this predicament, blaming everyone from Will to Beckett to Sao Feng to Jack, but in the end their fury had become focused on their ex-crewmate who had betrayed them all. Jack had been taken to the Endeavour to have some sort of discussion with Beckett, so attention had been drawn away from him and to Isa, the only one of them who wasn't under arrest. People love nothing more than to bitch about something they have in common, apparently. She wasn't feeling uncomfortable about it, but she wasn't prepared to join in, since she was still clinging to the hope that Isa had a plan.

Will turned to Theo. "You didn't know anything about this?"

"Does it look like I did?" Theo snapped.

"I don't know, you two are pretty close. You may have organised all of this."

"You think I'd do something like that?" She was still smarting from Will's betrayal, but her anger had abated a great deal. At least she was talking to him now.

"I wouldn't know," he replied. "There were a few things I didn't know about you, like you being under Beckett's pay."

"Oh you can talk. Remind me, who was it that led Beckett right to us? Hmm?" As the two turned away from each other with disgruntled noises, the rest of the prisoners all fell into an uneasy silence that was broken only by the occasional coughing from various crewmembers. Theo kicked at the cell door in frustration, fearing that if she didn't kick it, she may end up kicking Will. "Just don't talk smack about Isa when you're no better."

Will looked at Tia Dalma. "Even you didn't see this?"

"Like Barbossa, I did not see her as the type." She shook her head. "It makes no sense."

"Aye, well, perhaps we just aren't as good a judge of character as we thinks we are."

The voodoo priestess shook her head. "No, it's not that. She isn't the type to betray those she loves."

Will snorted. "Clearly you got that wrong."

Theo sighed. "Can we please change the subject?"

Gibbs decided it was safe to talk as he was in a separate cell to Theo. "Well, that traitorous cur is one of the bigger reasons we're all here."

"Oh dear," came a voice from the stairs. "That's quite hurtful."

There were more than a few icy glares for Isa as she descended the stairs, hands held behind her back to give her posture a more confident, arrogant feel. She sauntered between the cells, ignoring the harsh looks she was getting, smirking at the relative silence that had befallen at her presence. She stopped in front of Theo and tilted her head. "Why so glum, chum?"

Theo said nothing.

"Oh, come on, don't be like that." She took out a set of keys from her pocket, shaking her hand so that the keys jangled. "I just want to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about."

"I think you'll find we'll have plenty to discuss." Isa drew her sword as she turned the key in the lock, opening the cell door and waiting for her friend to walk out. Not being armed meant that everyone else was powerless to do anything, especially as Isa had her weapon out in case some have-a-go-hero decided to, well, have a go. So Theo stepped out of the cell and waited as Isa threw some cuffs on her and locked the door before pocketing the key. Theo Will exchanged worried looks before Isa led her up the stairs and to the cabin.

The deck was empty, not surprising really, since it was night, and Theo assumed that officers slept sometime. It struck her as slightly odd that there wasn't even one officer but that wasn't her main priority right now.

Once they were in the cabin, Isa checked it out in case there was someone around, then gave a heavy sigh as she took out another key from her pocket and undid the cuffs on Theo's wrists. "Damn, I always thought it'd be fun bitchin' around the place."

Theo gave a gleeful squeak before throwing herself at her friend. "You love me! You really love me!"

"I... think you're using that quote in the wrong context."

"Oh. Well whatever." She rubbed her wrists where the cuffs had been. "What was with the evil-ery? You had me really worried, you know."

Isa smiled. "Sorry about that. Someone had to be on this side of the fence to help you get out of this mess." She put the key back into her pocket and set her sword on the desk.

"Oh I see, you shrewd devil, you." Theo ribbed Isa. "So, you have a plan?"

"Absolutely. Someone has to cause a distraction aboard the Endeavour, and whilst the officers are busy attending to that, you take advantage of the chaos and get over to Sao Feng's ship and free the crew there. You then both sail away as fast as you possibly can."

"Awesome... but I don't have the keys."

"Well no. I do. This key," she held up the black key that she had used to unlock the cell earlier, "Is for the Pearl. This one," she held up a golden key, which had an ornate dragon wrapped around the handle, "Is for the Empress."

"Empress?"

"Sao Feng's ship."

"Right. Black key, Black Pearl. Gotcha. Come on, then," Theo said, heading towards the door whilst pocketing the keys. She turned around and realised Isa wasn't following her. "...come on."

"I'm not going with you." Isa looked as if the words had to be forced out of her mouth. "You have to go pretend this is your plan."

Theo snorted. "Like they'd believe that. More to the point, why?" Isa's silence spoke volumes, and the reason suddenly dawned upon Theo, who narrowed her eyes. "Him? You're abandoning us for him? You're choosing him over me? Isa, he wants us dead!"

Isa had no reply to that; she didn't know why she wasn't jumping at the chance to leave with Theo, to escape on the Pearl. Part of it was that she knew there was no way the crew of the Pearl would trust her, no matter what the plan had been, but part of it probably was that she didn't want to leave Beckett. Unable to give Theo a suitable answer, she deflected attention away from the subject. "I had another vision."

Theo's anger instantly dissipated, turning into concern. "About Beckett?"

"No... you remember way back when we met Admiral Norrington?" At Theo's nod, she continued. "You remember that story that was too long for him to tell us, then?" Another nod. "Well, it was pretty damn long."

"You saw it in your vision?"

"No, I found out about it all during the vision, though."

"Ah, your ninja-knowing powers of creepy?"

Isa nodded.

"Alright," Theo said, perching beside Isa on the edge of the desk. "Give me the cliff notes version."

"Well, Norrington used to be a Commodore. When Elizabeth was kidnapped by a bunch of zombie pirates who were cursed by Aztec gold-"

"Woah!" Theo held her hands up. "Did you just say 'zombie pirates'?"

"Yeah...?"

"That... is possibly the most awesome thing I have ever heard! But please, continue."

"...thanks. So yeah, Norrington goes off to rescue her and somehow someone manages to do so but now the zombie pirates-" Theo gave a gleeful shiver but Isa ignored her and went on, "-had Will. So Elizabeth says that if Norri rescues Will she'd marry the good Commodore." Theo gasped, and Isa nodded. "So Norri agrees, naturally, and some crazy shit goes down and Jack ends up almost getting hung, but not, because Will helps him to escape. Well, Norrilets him escape, and Will gets Elizabeth."

Theo blinked. "Wait, what?"

"I know, don't even try. So then things are going fine until Norri sails his ship into a storm."

"...why?"

"Damned if I know. He loses his crew, his ship, his status and now he's got an arrest warrant over his head for letting Jack - a known pirate - escape, courtesy of Lord Beckett. So he becomes some bumbling drunk in Tortuga until who should come along? Captain Jack Sparrow, looking for able-bodied men for his crew, so after an epic bar fight which ends with Norri being tossed into a pig-sty, he joins the crew. Then some other stuff happens, blah blah blah, Norri ends up with the heart of Davy Jones and also Jack's compass whilst Jack gets NOM'd by the Kraken."

"So that's how he managed to get his glory back, then..." Theo looked impressed. "Though, how is this all relevant?"

"Well, Norrington was in my vision. He's aboard the Dutchman." Isa went on to describe her vision in great detail, leaving nothing out, especially when describing the crewman who killed Norrington, as well as the ship that was attached to the Dutchman. When she was finished, she fixed Theo with a grim stare. "You have to get aboard the Dutchman."

"What? How?"

"When you leave here, you have to leave on Sao Feng's ship."

"Again, how?"

"I don't know," Isa said, sighing. "I just know that you have to get on that ship."

Theo crossed her arms over her chest, giving a contemplative noise as she got up and paced around a little. "I'll do my best."

"Don't let him die," Isa said as the two locked eyes. "He doesn't deserve to die."

After a moment, Theo nodded. "So how are we getting out of this mess? You have a plan, right?"

"Of course," Isa gave a mischievous wink. She picked up her sword from the desk and held it out, holding the blade so the handle was pointing towards Theo. "You take this," she said, waiting for Theo as she nodded and took the blade. "Then you stab me and knock me out."

Theo stared. "...say what."

"Stab. Knock out."

"...why?"

"So it's convincing."

"Can't you just pretend to be unconscious?"

"Oh for God's sake. So what, you blew me over with your powers of awesome? I don't think Beckett would accept that as a viable excuse for losing the Pearl."

Theo looked let out a despondent sigh. "I'd believe it."

Isa held her arms out beside her. "Have at it."

"Dude, isn't there any other way?"

"No."

"Fine..." She gripped the sword tightly. "Will we see each other again?"

Isa grinned. "Of course."

"Good... I'll need the chance to apologise when you're actually awake."

Before Isa had the chance to reply or react Theo swiped at her arm with the sword, leaving a deep gash, causing the injured girl to gasp and turn slightly, clutching her bleeding arm. Just as swiftly, Theo kicked the back of her knees so that the girl stumbled, making it easier for Theo to grab her hair and slam her friend's head into the edge of the table. Isa fell in a crumpled heap on the floor, alive but unconscious.

Theo winced. "Sorry, mate," she muttered. She was impressed to note that Isa's hair didn't seem out of place at all.

Turning her back on the fallen Admiral, she started making her way towards the door, opening it a little to see if anyone was about. Luckily they still seemed to be busy elsewhere so she was able to creep back down the stairs to the brig where everyone, upon seeing Theo alone, instantly knew something was up. Theo shushed everyone before explaining the plan.

Gibbs looked impressed. "So you stole the keys?"

Theo held the two keys up.

Pintel rattled the bars. "Then get us out of here!"

"Shush! Before that, we need a way to cause a distraction on the Endeavour." Theo pondered. "Needs to be something big that doesn't cause a terribly huge amount of damage..."

Elizabeth pointed to the pile of objects that was their effects. "There should be a grenade in there. Mostly flash with a little bang, but it might do the trick?"

"Excellent," Theo said, clapping her hands together before rooting through the mountain of objects to find the item in question. Eventually she found it and held it up for all to see. "...it's kinda small. But I guess big things come in small packages."

"Now will you let us out?"

"One more thing..." She turned to Sao Feng. "You have to help us."

Despite being under arrest and in danger of being hanged, he seemed to take his time considering the plan. "Why should I help you?"

"Apart from the fact that we could all die if you don't?"

"He means," Will said, disgusted, "What's in it for him?"

Sao Feng nodded, before turning to Theo, expectantly. She blinked. "Well, what do you expect me to say? 'We have milk and cookies'?" She made a face. "I mean, what the hell? We need your help or we alldie."

"With Beckett there is always the chance to make a deal-"

"Uh huh. Yeah. I see how well that's served you so far."

Sao Feng frowned, knowing that the risk of trying to barter with Beckett was very, very high. Barbossa stepped forward. "Aye, 'tis a shame they're not bound to honour the code of the Brethren, ain't it? Because honour's a hard thing to come by, nowadays..." He stared pointedly at Will, but didn't say any more.

"There is no honour in remaining with the losing side."

"The losing side, you say?"

"They have the Dutchman, and now the Pearl. What do the Brethren have?!"

Barbossa stepped forward and lowered his voice, "They have... Calypso." His eyes shifted momentarily, and Sao Feng took a look in the direction, seemingly deep in thought.

Eventually he snickered. "Calypso. An old legend."

"No. The Goddess herself, bound in human form. Imagine, all the power of the seas brought to bear against our enemies. I intend to release her but for that, I need the Brethren Court." He motioned to the necklace Sao Feng was wearing. "All the Courts."

Sao Feng thought for a moment, then turned to look directly at Theo. "I want her."

Theo blinked. "What?"

Will grabbed the bars of the cell. "What?! No!"

"It's her, or no deal."

"Err, hello? 'Her' is stood in front of you." Theo pouted. "At least address me when you're speaking about me."

"Apologies," the Captain replied.

"Theo is not-"

"Oh stick a cork in it, Will," Theo sighed. "This is the only way."

"No, there has to be-"

Theo cut him off, making an irritated grunt and a 'close your mouth' motion with her hand. "It was your astoundingly brilliant ideas that got us into this pile of manure, Will. If this means we'll get out of this alive, then we go with it." She turned back to Sao Feng. "It's a deal. Though you realise you'll have to swim."

Sao Feng nodded. "I am prepared to do anything it takes to get back to my ship."

"Okiedokey!" She rubbed her hands together before taking the black key from her pocket and unlocking the door.

Theo began to make her way to the front of the crowd but found herself being pulled back by Will. "You can't do this," he whispered.

"Like I said, there's no other way." She smiled at the look of concern on his face. "Oh, chill, I'll be fine. I promise."

As the group crowded along the stairs Theo motioned for them to keep quiet, even though there still didn't seem to be anyone on the deck. She couldn't hear anything from the cabin either which probably meant Isa was still out cold. "Right," she said to the crew. "Once Elizabeth has thrown the grenade-"

Will looked unconvinced. "Shouldn't I do it?"

"Why? You probably throw like a girl. As I was saying," she continued, ignoring the scandalised look on Will's face, "Once she throws it and it goes off, Sao Feng and I will make our way to the Empress. During that time you make sure any naval officers around the place are disposed of in due course."

"What about Isaviel?"

"Throw her overboard, she needs to deliver a message for us." Theo looked grim. "That, and I want to deal with her myself at a later date. Once we've regained control of the ships we sail in opposite directions. The chances are, the Endeavour will chase the Pearl, and we know that the Peal can hold her own in a race."

"Wait, what about Jack?"

"He can do his own thang," Theo shrugged. "Keep the faith, dudes. Are we ready?"

Everyone nodded. Elizabeth crawled over to the side of the ship facing the Pearl as the rest of the crew went to deal with the few naval officers that were checking out the ship's stocks. Once everyone was in place, Theo gave the signal and Elizabeth threw the lit grenade over, watching it land by the main mast before ducking back down out of sight. Not even a minute later an ear-splitting explosion tore through the air, sending out a powerful shockwave that had all three ships rocking. Theo shot Elizabeth an accusatory look, mouthing the words 'a little bang?!' - to which she got a 'what can I do?' shrug - before she and Sao Feng dived into the water and swam across to the Empress.

Just as Isa had predicted, all of the officers who were milling around on the Empress rushed to the Endeavour and began to flap around in panic as they tried to stop the mast from falling, allowing Theo and Sao Feng to reach the other ship and then slip below deck without being noticed.

III.

The explosion jerked Isa back to consciousness, and it took her a few seconds before she could remember what had happened. Her arm was hurting like a bitch, and the blood that had pooled on the carpet of the cabin explained why; the gash in her arm was pretty deep and very painful, but not anything that would pose any real danger to her life.

When she emerged from the cabin it was a scene of utter chaos, with people running all over the place, fighting on the two supposed prisoner ships whilst the majority of the officers were clambering all over the Endeavour, trying to put out the fire and keep the mast from falling any further. Isa felt a slight chill running through her at the knowledge that her plan had been a success, although the feeling was short-lived, because she soon found herself surrounded by familiar faces, with the remainder of those of Beckett's men assigned to the ship.

"You know, you're very lucky Theoli ain't here," Barbossa said, sword aimed for the young woman's throat.

"Is that so?"

"Aye, she wanted to deal with you herself, which means you get to leave this ship. Alive."

She shrugged. "I'll take what I can get." She then motioned to the men behind her to jump overboard, which they did without needing to be told twice. Isa fixed Barbossa with a stare. "Look after her." There was no need for a reply, so she joined her new comrades in the water, watching as the ship began to move away.

There was a cry from overhead. Isa looked up just in time to see Jack flying across the gap between the ships on a rope, literally throwing himself at the Pearl just before it sailed away, getting faster and faster. She was so shocked and confused that she nearly missed the rope being thrown down for her. When she eventually clambered onto the deck the fire had been put out and the mast had fallen completely, both ships had sailed off with all the captives and her arm hurt like hell from the salt water on her wound but she wasn't bothered too much.

At least she got Theo off and away. Now all she had to do was hope that Beckett bought her explanation of why this had all gone down.