I am so, so sorry it's taken me more than a week to get this uploaded. College has stolen my muse, along with my will to live and my faith in humanity.

I also lied a little bit about getting back into the icky parts. We will, but i'm enjoy the family/Tiva stuff we've got going on at the moment. So give me a chapter or two more and then i promise, i'll work harder.

There's a lot happening in this chapter. 3 different time frames. So i'm sorry if it's all crazy. I hope you enjoy it though! :)


Worry doesn't even cover what Abby felt for Tony. Ever since they'd found out how ill he was, she'd been slowly driving herself insane with the statistics and the possible variations of what could happen. She had imagined a life without Tony over and over, but it made no sense. It didn't work, everything and everyone fell apart without him. Gibbs would have lost the first member of this make-shift family, Ziva would lose a lover and a partner and the father to their child, Timmy would lose his brother, she would lose her brother and her best friend. Every one of them would lose something, and Tony couldn't even see how much he was worth to them. It killed her that none of them knew how long they had left with him, and yet most of the time he denied them from seeing him. They loved him, she loved him, why couldn't he see that?

Which is why, when Ziva called her close to tears, Abby feared the worst. Her throat constricted, her breathing hitched. Instead, she found out that for some unknown reason, Tony had told Ziva not to bring Alexa and herself along to see him today. That there was -in his words- no point. Once she'd managed to get off the phone with Ziva, when Alexa began to cry, anger and concern swirled through her. Tony was stubborn, scared, hiding the worst from them. Yet he usually only asked them to completely stay away when he was getting new treatment, or in the worst days after the chemotherapy. And why had he only told Ziva not to go see him, why not the rest of them? Eventually, confusion and anger all gelled into one thought - she had to go and see Tony.

The drive over was nerve-wracking, her concentration half on the road and half lingering in the hospital room with Tony. They were lucky he was still being treat at Bethesda and they hadn't moved him off to George Washington. It was closer for them all to reach, they knew the doctors were more trustworthy, there was better security, and Tony had come to both like and trust his own doctor and his nurses. Something Abby hadn't expected him to do. Tony might seem open and friendly most of the time, but the family knew him better. It took a lot to have him trust you, even more for him to begin to show real outward affection. Eventually, she had to pull her mind away from Tony for a minute, after she nearly didn't see a bright red Lexus swerve into the lane. Focusing on the road gave her time to settle, concentrate on anything but what could possibly have gone wrong this time for him to deny Ziva entrance to his room.

Getting into the oncology ward of Bethesda was like finding your way out of a maze designed by Gibbs, but Abby was used to it now. Just like the nurses, especially Isabelle, were used to seeing her in her odd outfits, with her odd makeup and clomping boots coming down the hallway towards them. Abby spotted Isabelle behind the nurses desk and decided to check with her before barging into Tony's room and demanding to know what's going on.

'Hey, Isabelle.' Abby smiled.

'Hi Abby, what can I do for you?' She returned the smile, pausing her typing on the keyboard in front of her to give Abby her attention.

'Has anything happened with Tony today? Has he been sick or had any bad news or anything?' Isabelle gave her a confused look but reached behind her to snag Tony's file to flip through and check.

'Doesn't look like it.' Abby sighed with frustration. 'Why do you ask?' Isabelle questioned, sliding Tony's file back into its slot behind her.

'He called Ziva and told her she and Alexa couldn't visit today.' Abby murmured, turning her attention to the window that showed Tony's room. The curtain was drawn closed and the door pulled shut. Flashing Isabelle what she hoped to be a smile, she stomped off towards his room. Throwing the door revealed Tony and Gibbs laughing at something. Tony looked pale, his face drawn and pinched like he was in pain, but nothing out of the ordinary. There was the usual IV bag connected to his Hickman and monitors attached to him. The precautionary sick basin lay unused next to an unopened pot of red jelly and a pitcher of water. The door swung open and Gibbs and Tony turned their attention to her.

'Abs, what're you doing here?' Tony smiled at her.

'What do you think you're doing, Tony?!' Abby demanded, moving further into the room, pushing the door closed behind her. Tony gave her a confused look.

'What do you mean?' His eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out what she was talking about. Abby put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

'You know what I mean! Calling Ziva like that and telling her that her and Lexi couldn't visit. What's that about Tony? She rang me almost crying trying to find out what's going on!' Tony swallowed and then glanced nervously at Gibbs who was watching Abby impassively. She was now stood at the end of his bed with her arms crossed across her chest.

'Well- Abs, it's nothing bad. It's just, well I had to talk to Gibbs about something important that Ziva can't know about just yet and…' Tony trailed off.

'What do you mean, something she can't know about yet? What's happened?' Abby moved to the side of his bed, standing next to Gibbs and looking more anxious than angry. Tony sighed and looked back at Gibbs.

'If you don't tell her, DiNozzo, she's going to stand there and bug you all day.' Gibbs answered his look with a smirk.

'Tell me what?!' Abby cried, throwing her hands into the air.

'Well, Dr. Oliver says that although it hasn't worked quite as well as we'd hoped, I'm showing signs of getting better so we're going to move onto Consolidation chemo. But that means I get at least two weeks off first. Which means that I can go home for a while.' Abby, momentarily forgetting her anger about the Ziva situation, lurched forward and enveloped him in a gentle hug, being more mindful than usual because of all the wires and needles sticking out of him.

'Tony that is so amazing!' She grinned, pulling back, but not long after her grin turned into a frown again. 'Wait.. Why can't Ziva know about this? You are going home to her, right?' Abby demanded, crossing her arms again. Gibbs chuckled under his breath and Tony shot him a look somewhere between annoyance and pleading.

'Well, I wanted it to be a surprise when I turned up home. Plus, I kinda had to have Gibbs come round and help me with something that I have to do while I'm out of the hospital.' Tony was hoping that she'd just leave it there, but Abby being Abby, that obviously wasn't going to happen.

'And what, exactly, is it you have to do while you're out of hospital that Ziva can't know about?' Tony sighed, the look on Abby's face told him that no amount of dodging the question was going to get him out of this.

'Well..' Tony trailed off, trying to find a way to tell her that they'd gotten engaged and only so far told Gibbs. 'Ziva and I are engaged.' Abby's jaw dropped open. ' And while I'm out of the hospital, I want to marry her. We don't know what's going to happen in the future, and we don't know if this will be the only chance we get. Gibbs is helping me arrange it for a weeks time.' Abby stuttered for a moment, her mouth opening and closing with no words coming out before she finally got her thoughts together and once again threw herself at Tony.

'Oh my God! Oh my God! Tony that's amazing.' She planted a kiss on his cheek and hugged him even tighter for a second before pulling back and punching him lightly in the shoulder. Tony faked hurt and rubbed it, pouting.

'Hey! What was that for? I thought you'd be happy!' Abby sighed, hopping up onto the free space at the end of Tony's bed and leaning back lightly on the railings.

'I am happy! That was because you didn't tell me sooner.' She grinned, reaching out a snatching the pot of jelly from the table and spooning some into her mouth. Tony glared at her for a second, but she knew he didn't like the red kind.

'Okay, so, tell me what we're planning for the big day?' Abby grinned.


Home was comfortable, familiar, warm, and tiring. Tony wanted to help with Alexa, he wanted to get up for her three am feeds, he wanted to get up at five am when she cried and needed a nappy change. He wanted to do all the things other dads complained about, but most of the time he couldn't. His doctor had told him that the next two weeks were going to be difficult, that he'd be exhausted all the time and need to rest. Tony being Tony had been stubborn for the first three days, until Ziva finally made him stop. The fourth night, when he'd tried to follow her to Alexa's crib, she'd practically forced him back to bed at knife point and threatened to tie him there if he didn't behave.

Alexa was a bright point in Tony's life that he'd never expected. Before Ziva, not even with Wendy or Jeanne, had he thought about or wanted children. Ziva changed him, she made him a different, better person. Now she'd given him his daughter, this tiny, beautiful little human being who depended on them for everything. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. The only thing more beautiful that his daughter was watching Ziva with her. Tony had expected her to become more gentle, more opening loving and maternal, and she was. But she was also more ruthless, more determined, more protective. It was mesmerising. Ziva and Alexa were his entire life now. When she cried, it made his heart ache. The first time she smiled as he held her and spoke quiet words to her made him want to hug her to him and keep her there forever. Whenever he had Alexa in his arms, and that was as often as was really acceptable, things were easier. Life was better, brighter. There was no cancer, no hospitals, no treatments. There was no possibility of never seeing her grow up, never seeing her 'firsts'.

All of that imagery came crashing down, however, when on his fifth day out of the hospital, just two days from the date Tony and Gibbs had arranged the surprise wedding for, his hair began to fall out. Tony had been expecting it. He'd even had seen it happening a little when he woke up on a morning and there was loose hairs covering his pillow. This was different though, more real. He had been holding Alexa in one arm, cuddling her into his chest, and had reached up to scratch the crown of his head. Pulling away caused a flurry of his dark hairs to rain down onto his sleeping daughter, and a clump laced in his fingers.

'Ziva..' Tony called out, his voice shaking slightly, as he stood up and brushed some of the hairs on Alexa away, having dropped the clump in his hand. Ziva appeared in the door way, concerned.

'What is wrong?' She asked quietly, moving towards him. Silently, he handed Alexa over to her and made his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

'Tony..' Ziva knocked on the door lightly, trying the handle. 'Tony, what is wrong? Are you sick? Should I call Ducky?' There was no answer, and she was considering picking the lock, when she heard the sound of Tony's electrical razor. The only reason she could think of for Tony having that out was that his hair had begun to come out. They had discussed it, what they would do when it happened. The plan had been to deal with it as it came alone, obviously, Tony had decided it all had to go right now. Looking down at Lexi, awake but lazing content in her arms, she could see there was dark hairs clinging to her cream baby grow. Plucking them off as she walked, she put Alexa into her crib and then headed back towards the bathroom.

'Tony, open the door and let me help. You will miss some if you do it by yourself.' There was no reply for a moment, and Ziva became worried again, before Tony opened the door. There were tears in his eyes that he was fighting to hold back and the front parts of his hair were now shaved off.

'Oh, Tony.' Ziva murmured, plucking the razor in his hands away and placing it on the counter beside them before pulling him into a hug. He buried himself against her, his head turned into her neck as the tears made their escape. She ran her hands soothingly through the rest of his hair, coming away with more and more until eventually he pulled away, handed her the razor and then turned around. He gave her his trust completely as she turned the razor back on and began to shave away the remainder of his hair. Stopping every so often to make sure he was okay.

Ziva was just finishing it up, making sure it was all even and clean, and flicked off the razor. Leaving it on the side of the now hair filled sink that Tony was leaning on.

'It is all finished.' She murmured, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and pressing her cheek against his back. Tony sighed, gripping the point where her hands joined across his stomach with one hand.

'Are you okay?' She murmured into his back. He didn't reply for a while, before taking a deep breath.

'We're getting married in two days.' Ziva froze against his back, he held his breath, waiting for her reaction, worrying he'd done everything wrong. But, when he felt her smile against his back, he knew he hadn't. She loosened her hold on him so he could turn around with her arms still around him. Ziva looked up at him, smiling slightly. Slowly, she stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her mouth against his. As usual, he tasted like the toxins that were in the chemo he had been receiving, a taste she was fast becoming used to.

'Good.' Was all she replied, leaving her lips against his mouth.


Tony had a doctors appointment with Dr. Oliver the next day, and for once, he decided it would be okay to have Ziva come along with him. After everything that had happened the day before, they had climbed into bed with Alexa between them and talked the past few weeks through. They got every pain, worry, annoyance, anger and sadness out and in the open and it was better now. They were hiding nothing, and they would hide nothing again. It was a promise they'd made to themselves and Alexa. Which was why, at half past ten the next morning. Ziva, Tony and Alexa in her push chair were sat in an examination room while Tony had his bloods drawn and waited for a bone marrow aspiration to be done. They were going to check again on his blasts, neutrophils and everything else one more time before consolidation began.

Dr. Oliver came in with Isabelle, who was carrying a needle for drawing blood, a hospital gown and a consent form. Neither of them looked shocked at Tony's now lack of hair.

'Did it start falling out?' Dr Oliver asked, looking slightly sympathetic. At least there wasn't pity there like all the other times bad news had been brought to them.

'Yesterday.' Tony smiled over at Ziva. 'It was actually one of the best things that could have happened.' Dr. Oliver looked at them with confusion, but the more easy-going, obviously loving nature between them was ripe today. Something they hadn't really seen before, so whatever had happened, it was going to be classed as a good thing. Isabelle cooed over Alexa, now awake and alert in her push chair, while Tony and Dr. Oliver talked, but straightened up once he began to explain today's itinerary.

'So, Isabelle here is going to draw your bloods for the CBC and everything. Then we'll get you prepped for the aspiration straight after that.' Tony glanced over at Ziva.

'I'll be out of here tonight, won't I?' Tony asked, his attention now back on the doctor.

'Sure, why do you ask?'

'We're getting married tomorrow.' Tony smiled, glancing once again back at his fiancé. Dr. Oliver grinned at them while Isabelle offered her congratulations.

'Yes, you will certainly be out of here tonight. Congratulations to you both.' Dr. Oliver smiled at them, they both offered their thanks. 'Now, the sooner we get this over with, the sooner you can scat. So, play nice.' Isabelle chuckled as Tony grimaced, she was moving towards him with the needle she was using to draw his blood. For the past few weeks they'd been taking it from his Hickman line, but blood straight from the vein had been deemed better this time.

'Suck it up, DiNozzo.' Isabelle did her best Gibbs imitation, making him chuckle as he winced, she pushed the needle quickly into his arm as he looked away and over as Alexa who was reaching out to Ziva.

'I think she might be getting hungry.' Tony nodded at his daughter, who looked on the verge of tears. Ziva plucked her out of the push chair and rummaged around for a warm bottle, trying to get there before the tantrum started. Tony watched s Ziva averted the crisis, letting Alexa suckle happily on the little bottle at her mouth. Before he knew it, the sharp pinch of a needle being removed drew him away from his preoccupation and back to reality. Isabelle pushed the hospital gown at him and left him to get changed for the bone marrow aspiration. Tony somehow didn't care so much anymore about the procedure, as he watched Alexa began to doze off in Ziva's arm, the bottle dropping out of her mouth.


Abby arrived in a flurry of 'hello's' and 'hurry ups' just ten minutes after they'd gotten back from the hospital. Tony's iliac crest, the area of the hip they take bone marrow from, had a bone deep ache that made any position he sat in uncomfortable, so he was laid on their sofa with Alexa asleep on his chest.

'Abby, what are you doing here?' Ziva asked as Abby came through the door, heading for their bedroom and throwing some of Ziva's stuff into an overnight bag.

'Didn't Tony tell you? We're staying in a hotel near the place you're getting married for the night. Bad luck to see the bride on the night before the wedding and all that!' Abby grinned, skipping towards the bathroom to gather toothbrushes and toiletries.

'Abby, I do not really think it is appropriate for me to be spending a night away from home.' Ziva called after her. Abby stuck her head out of the bathroom, looking over to where Ziva was stood in the doorway to the living room.

'Gibbs and McGee are coming over here to stay with Tony and help with Alexa. Everything will be fine!' Abby sang, Tony was stood behind Ziva now, cradling Alexa in his arms.

'Oh, Tony! You're all bald now. I'll have to get you a hat, is your head cold?' Abby dropped the now packed bag and skipped over towards him, running her hand over his smooth head. Tony laughed at her, she'd taken his sudden lack of hair in his stride.

'Yeah, it's cold Abs. A hat might be nice.' Tony chuckled, Ziva huffed knowing she had lost the argument about staying home. Instead, she went through the clothes Abby had packed and resorted. Tony seated himself back down in a somewhat comfortable position, trying not to jostle Lexi awake.

'Abby.' Ziva looked up, her expression panicked. 'I do not have a wedding dress.' Abby smirked back at Tony, who was grinning.

'Taken care of, Zi.' Tony called out to her quietly. Ziva popped back into the living room.

'What do you mean, it is taken care of?' Her eyes narrowing.

'He means exactly that, David. Now get a move on, you're spoiling his bachelor party.' Gibbs had appeared behind her, she spun on her heel towards him and McGee, stood in their entryway, smirking at her. Abby grabbed the bag from the floor, gave Tony and Alexa light kisses on the forehead and then skipped out the door, telling Ziva she'd be waiting in the car. Ziva gave an exasperated look to the three men now watching her, before finally giving in and moving to do exactly what Abby had just done.

'I love you.' She whispered to Tony and Alexa, smiling lightly down at them as she shrugged on her jacket.

'We love you to. Say bye bye to mommy.' Tony whispered, raising Alexa's arm, making sure not to wake her, and waving goodbye a little. Ziva made her way towards the exit, but paused and looked back at Gibbs and McGee.

'You look after them. Call me if anything, one tiny little thing, goes wrong. Ok?' She demanded, glaring at them both. McGee swallowed and nodded. Gibbs smirked, walking over and pressing a kiss to a forehead.

'Understood, Ziver.' He turned her by her shoulders and pushed her towards the door. 'Now get.'