A/N; Yes, this is also, quite a messy chapter.. A lot of things are happening, but that was this week's inspiration, and now I have something 'easy' to write on from.. :P
HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
Lilys entire world crashed in just three seconds. Severus… and.. her mother? Lily breathed slowly. She felt her eyes prickle and closed them until it stopped. Although her eyes were shut, she could feel the entire room spinning around her. She gently bit her lips and took another deep breath, trying to keep that anger that was starting to bubble inside of her, under control. She had completely shut out all sound until Sirius grabbed one of her shoulders and lightly shook it.
She opened her eyes very slowly and looked into two friendly eyes. "Are you okay Lily?" Sirius asked. Lily just shook her head. No. She was not okay. Actually, she was as far from 'okay' humanly possible. Lily stood up and walked out the room without saying anything to any of the two men. She walked out the front door and slammed it behind her. He was just.. just… USING her! As a substitute for her mother! Lily walked angrily away from Grimauld Place, not really caring where she went.
She ended up on a playground a far away from the house. Lily sat down on the grass. She could feel her whole body tingle with rage. She had never felt so angry and sad at the same time. She gave out a frustrated loud sound that made the one other kid on the playground look frightened at her.
How could he do such a thing to her? Lily had been his. She had had sex with him! The thought made Lily feel like vomiting, fortunately she didn't because Lily wasn't sure if she could handle it, if she did. Lily was sure that they had had something special. Something worth putting up with a lot of things for. And now, it tunred out that everything had just been one huge lie!
Lily's heart and brain was fighting over what emotion to dominate inside of Lily. Her head told her to be angry. Why wouldn't she? He had lied to her to her face. Her heart wanted her to be sad because she had just had her heart broken, for the very first time. And she had really loved him, she really had.
Oh.. This was just too much for her. She needed to talk to him. Soon.
Lily exhaled and leaned forward so her head was between her two knees, like she was going to crash-land in an airplane. She took a deep breath and then let the tears run freely.
She sat like that in god-knows-how-long before she could hear someone sit beside her. Lily could smell a light smell of raspberries and knew it was Hermione. She always wore that perfume, and Lily loved her for it. Hermione, still haven't said a thing, lay her arm around Lilys shoulders and pulled her against her. Lily kept crying, and Hermione kept saying nothing as long as she did.
Lily got her silent crying under control after a little bit and raised her head. Lily felt… Empty. Yes. There was no other way of describing it. She felt hollow and felt that somewhere, it really didn't matter at all. She looked at Hermione, which looked back with a look full of sympathy. "I'm sorry." Hermione whispered. "Did you know?" Lily said. Her voice was hoarse and barely hearable. Hermione shook her head. "No.. But I knew what was wrong after Sirius told us what you'd been talking about."
There was an awkward pause in the conversation. Neither of them had any idea of how to continue the conversation and when Lily sneak peeked at Hermione it seemed as she was lost in thoughts. "I really am sorry." Hermione then ended up saying. Lily nodded. "Yes.. So am I. I really thought…" Lily trailed off.. There was no way she was going to finish that sentence. It would just make everything much worse than it already was.
"I know. So did i" Hermione said quitly. "I've been paying a lot more attention to the two of you over the last couple of months." Lily looked at her quietly. "You should see the looks you can send each other sometimes. So full of passion.. So full of… Love." Yes. Hermione Granger was indeed a very smart witch. Lily leaned her cheek on her knee, facing Hermione and then added something to Hermione's sentence. "Like when Ron looks at you."
Hermione looked down. You could tell she was blushing and smiling a little bit. A soundless 'Yes' ran over her lips. Hermione looked back at Lily. "How do you feel?"
"Empty. I don't know If I care anymore." Lily said. Hermione and Severus were the only two people Lily had been honest with all the way through, and she was not going to change that now that she needed one of them more than ever. "It will pass.. I know the feeling" Hermione said, not wanting to explain where she knew it from.
Lily nodded once and looked forward. It was a pretty place she had found actually. Green grass filled the place and there was all sorts of trees. Who knew something so beautiful could be in the middle of a city? Although Hermione was with her, Lily suddenly felt very alone. She would have to cope with Severus when she returned to the castle in 3 days.
Lily stood up. "We better get back.. right?" Hermione nodded and stood up with her. "We should. Molly will kill you if she's not getting the pleasure to stuff you with food." That made Lily smile weakly. Somehow, that one line made Lily feel that the rest of the day would be great..
Oh could she have been more wrong.
Hermione had been right, Lily concluded as she lay in her bed that evening. She had never been so full in her entire life. Molly Weasley had presented a 3 course meal and it had all tasted so good, that Lily had had to go twice. Lily had pushed Severus far back in her mental priority so she only felt full and tired. That was why it didn't take long for her to fall asleep.
Lily woke up, because of something hurting on her cheek. She opened her eyes and looked right up into a woman's dark eyes, which she didn't recognize. It wasn't the fact that there was a stranger in her bedroom that freaked Lily out. It was more the very evil smile on that stranger and the fact that she had the tip of her wand pressed against Lily's cheek.
"Say a word, and I will kill you.. And that wouldn't be fun for either of us, would it?" the strangers voice was high and sort of strict and pressed her wand more brutal into Lilys cheek while saying so. Lily considered going for her own, but she didn't dare. There was too far to her dresser, and Lily did not dare do anything. "So this is the famous Lily Potter, hm?" Lily didn't reply. Who the hell was she? The stranger sat on the side of Lilys bed, still holding the wand firmly at Lilys cheek.
The evil grin got wider, lips preparing to form a word and Lily closed her eyes quickly for what was coming. Lily barely heard the word "Crucio" before the pain was everywhere. Lily couldn't decide where her body was. Everything was just… pain. It went black before her eyes and Lily screamed as loud as she could and started cramping. The stranger positioned herself on top of Lily and felt Lilys body shake beneath her before stopping the curse. It looked like she was actually enjoying this!
"An eye for an eye." The stranger uttered. What the hell was she talking about? Lily hadn't done anything! "You see.. Your friends," she spat out the words friends as it was something disguisting, "Has taken something from me. Someone I loved. It is only fair that I return the favor." Someone she loved? "CRUCIO!" The pain was back and Lily forgot the thought and started screaming again.
Somewhere beyond the pain and the scream, Lily heard a brutal sound. It sounded like someone had just thrown a metal bucket at a glass window. The curse was ended and the stranger looked backwards at the door opening. "Ah. Harry Potter.. Have you come to enjoy the show?" the stranger said and then Lily could hear her brother yell "Get off of her, Bellatrix." Bellatrix..? The name said something, but Lily was in no condition to remember anything."Or else what? You seem to have a small problem coming inside the door." Bellatrix said and laughed.
Lily raised her head as much as she could and could see some kind of red veil that filled the entire door opening. Apparently it was some kind of shield. Bellatrix looked back at her. The fact that one of history's most powerful wizard was standing 3 meters from her apparently didnt bother her. She must have had a pretty good faith in the weird veil. Bellatrix was not going to stop, that was clear. Lily dropped her head down on the madras and closed her eyes. There was nothing else she could do.
Bellatrix whispered the word slow and tenderly this time as was she declaring her love, and again, the pain came and so did the scream. When that ended she could hear lots of noise from somewhere but Lily just didn't have any strength back. It was still darkening before her eyes and this time, Lily feared it wouldn't go away.
The last thing Lily heard before falling down her own mental abyss was the psychotic laugh of Bellatrix.
