Chapter 12: I'm Just not the Same Since there's Rain in My Head pt. 2
Lucius sat curled on the window seat in his bedroom, unconsciously mirroring his youngest mate who was currently one floor down and on the opposite side of the house. He heaved a sighed as he watched the rain run down the windowpane in gentle sheets. He was still in his dream world, but had figured out a way to move in the dream without moving his actual body. He just wasn't ready to show how aware he really was of the outside world.
The real Severus had left the room not too long ago, but Lucius could still feel the representation's eyes watching him. He just sighed again, and shifted his place. He didn't really want to talk to any of his mates, dreamed or not. He didn't want to face their accusing eyes, or hear their reproachful words. He knew he had failed, no need to keep reminding him.
When he had first fallen into unconsciousness, his mates (who he could now see, much to his despair) had immediately come to him looking for wounds and trying to check him over. He had shied away from them, crying and begging forgiveness, thinking that they were charging him in anger. It had taken hours for them to calm him enough to tell him that they weren't mad, just worried. Then their sentences had started cutting out in the middle, and changing subjects halfway through.
Lucius was so confused that first time when dream Harry had been checking his right hand for injury and talking to him softly, only to stop mid-sentence and look up sharply, demanding that he wake up in a harsher and more desperate tone. Lucius had yipped and, jerking his hand away, had fallen off the bed. The demanding had continued for a few minutes before dream Harry returned to his usual, gentle self. Not five minutes later, dream Severus had done the same demanding…also mid-sentence. Lucius was so freaked out that he had hidden under the bed for a day.
Later that night, his dream mates had explained that the sentence changing was due to his live mates talking to him. Lucius had listened the next time it had happened, and realized that his dream mates were right. He also noticed that the living mates never came together, always separate. That had increased his guilt tenfold.
He knew that Harry and Severus couldn't stand each other. How horrible of a person he must be to force them together as soul mates of all things! How his living mates must hate him! He just couldn't face them knowing what a disaster he had caused. If only he had reached out sooner, when he was alone, he could've prevented them from ever knowing. Lucius took a shuddering breath, determined not to cry again.
As dream Severus, as well as waking Severus, had said, "What's done is done, and cannot be undone." Lucius would've found the Shakespeare comment funny in most other circumstances. As it was, Lucius desperately wished he could go back and stop Voldemort doing "what was done."
Lucius felt a bit bad for pushing his dream mates away, but felt that it was almost like feeding a worthless hope. The mates here seemed to love each other as much as they loved him. Even now they held each other as they watched him brood. After the first few days, Lucius had stopped accepting their touches, and had rejected their attempts to talk. Until he passed away in this self-induced coma, or until living mates approached him together Lucius would not give himself the pleasure of speech or affection. He didn't deserve it. Not even the thought of Draco could pull him out. He knew Harry and Severus would care for his son…not to mention that muggleborn, walking library that Draco seemed particularly fond of.
"Lucius, you must wake up!" Ah…so Severus was back again. Lucius had become rather adept at telling who was talking, dream or live mate. "You can't stay in there forever, your son needs you!"
'What Severus?' Lucius thought, 'You know that I won't come out for that. He had you, and…and Harry….He doesn't run the risk of your rejection.'
"Lucius Malfoy! If you do not wake up this instant I'll…I'll strangle you!" Well, at least Lucius now knew that his mates really did want him dead. "And don't you dare think that that threat is because I want you dead! I just want you awake, and usually people wake up when their life is THREATENED!…COME ON!" What was so important, other than Lucius' mistake, that could warrant Severus' demand. He just sighed again.
"Severus, I really don't think that's going to make him want to wake." Lucius gave a start. His mates were here…Together?! Wow, it must be important for them to be in the same room of their own choice. Lucius listened more carefully.
"Well, what do you suggest? Hmm?"
There was a pause, and then Lucius was all of a sudden face first on the bed, feeling it dip to his right.
"Maybe something gentler." A hand was laid on his back, and Lucius felt it start rubbing circles into his sore and upset muscles. That was definitely the Harry approach to things. Gentle and firm. Lucius sighed again, this time in the beginnings of relaxation. "Come on, Lucius. Wake up sweetheart." Ok, something was weird. Something had changed. Lucius knew by his soul that these were his mates, but the approach was different from anything they had tried so far.
Severus sighed, and then took the other side of the bed. Lucius felt his hand join Harry's. Oh, God. "Lucius, whatever it is you feel you've done wrong, forget it. You haven't done anything wrong. So what you didn't reach out to us? I'm sure you had your reasons, and We're more than willing to hear them if you'd just come out of that coma. Harry and I? We've worked a good deal of our issues out. You and I? I forgave you for not reaching out to me the moment I realized that you were mine. The two of you? If your what I get stuck with for the rest of eternity and beyond, then I am one lucky man. Gorgeous, brilliant…I'm set. You just need to wake up so that I can actually see those nice greys. They complement Harry's green nicely I'm sure."
"And Severus' black eyes." Harry muttered. "Come on, Lucius. Just wake up to us. We want to complete this trio, but we need you."
"Wake up, Lover."
The pleas were just too much, and that last endearment sent Lucius over the edge. He felt himself rising to the surface, and his breathing quickened in slight panic, fear, and anticipation. When he could no longer keep himself unconscious, or keep his eyes closed, he gave a start and gasped into awareness….And there were Harry's eyes, looking right back at him, not with anger, but with praise and gentle joy.
"Hello, Lucius." Harry said, and then closed the distance between them to close his gaping mouth in a gentle and soothing kiss. When they broke apart, Harry smiled and Lucius looked on in shock. The blonde turned his head to Severus, and found the other man smiling…smiling!…a self-satisfied smile, much like Harry's after their first kiss.
"Good afternoon, Lover." Severus said, before proceeding to kiss him senseless….again much like Harry, but a bit more self-assured than the younger man. When they broke apart, Lucius felt like he couldn't breathe.
"I'm forgiven?" He whispered.
"There is nothing to forgive." Severus assured him before Lucius' two mates bundled him into their arms and prepared for a long talk.
Lucius was sure of it now….He could fly. He was doing it right now.
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AN: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! There will be more to come…but please review! If you don't I get writers block. ;) Tootles!
