Yay! My weekend was fun. I must say, this story has gotten along quite well. Not many complaints, thank goodness. Now, a question from Rubius; i don't think that I can write a lemon even if I tried my hardest. All I have to say is recommend a Beta who would be willing to write one and I'll be more than glad to satisfy your wants.

"Now let's move on to the story you all came here for, and not this blabbering boob!"

...


Project X

Chapter Twelve - Chunin Test I

Naruto sighed as he walked with his hand in Haku's, allowing the shorter girl to relax with his touching. She wore a red cap, red no-sleeve, one-strap shirt, and - Naruto's favorite part - a red matching skirt that barely reached her fingertips. A red band was wrapped around her side, almost disguising itself as her shirt if the two sai didn't give it away.

"I love your outfit." Naruto whispered to Haku, getting the girl to blush a nice shade of scarlet before she smacked him on the head.

"Can't we ever talk about something other than my beauty?" Haku asked, continued her walked as Naruto chuckled from her side.

"You know you like it when I flirt with you." Naruto teased before turning to his side, hearing a grunt. What he saw made him see reds and fire of a thousand Hells. In a little pathway between two wooden fences, he saw Konohamaru on the ground crying in front of a laughing Suna nin in a cat suit and make-up. Moegi and Udon held back by an equally upset sister.

"Excuse me, Haku. I've got some manners to teach." Naruto said, letting go of the raven's hand and walked toward the alley.

Haku followed his destination and sighed.

"Maybe that'll teach you to mess with someone stronger than you!" The Suna male laughed maniacally as he looked at Konohamaru. "Come on! Get up!"

Suddenly, he was sent flying over the heads of the Suna kunoichi and Academy students and landed in a rose bush. The three looked at the blonde attacker as he helped Konohamaru up.

"Come on, Konohamaru." Naruto eased the boy up, holding onto him until he could stand. "Where were you hit?"

"My...stomach." Konohamaru grunted, holding onto the body part as he felt winded.

"It's okay, you're only winded. Just take deep breaths and wait for it to pass." Naruto spoke before turning to the yowling cat-like Suna shinobi.

"Oi!" The teen shouted, pulling a thorn from his side. "What was that for!"

"Maybe that'll teach you to not mess with someone with stronger friends." Naruto spoke, turning to face the ninja head-on.

"Hold on, Naruto-kun." Haku spoke, holding the blonde's arm before turning to the Sun duo. "Are you Suna ninja here for the Chunin Exams."

"Yes, we're on behalf of Suna." The kunoichi spoke up, letting the two kids she held go to Naruto.

"Then I should have your head on my plate by this evening." Naruto spoke, keeping his eyes on the male.

"For what? Teaching a brat?" The boy spoke dismissively.

"I don't know how it is for ninja to behave in Suna, though I'm sure it's barbaric, but harming the grandson of the current Hokage is grounds enough to start a war." Naruto grinned at the end as he enjoyed the shocked looks on the duo. "But what I know of Suna is that they are still in too deep from even the last war. Could it be that you started a war you won't even be able to fight? oh, dear me."

The male swallowed hard at what he had just done and his companion glared at him.

"See what you did, you limp-prick bastard!" The woman yelled. "If we aren't killed for our act by father, Gaara will surely do the job for him! You just had to do that, Kankuro!"

"Shut up, Temari! If you get any louder then Gaara will surely hear. All we have to do is eliminate the evidence."

"Hear what?" A voice spoke, scaring the duo as if it was Death herself.

Naruto turned and looked to see the cutest tomboy ever. The short red hair, almost as spiky as Naruto's, and her lazy pale-green eyes stared at her companions as if they were nothing but roaches under her shoe; they were outlined in black, giving her a raccoon appearance. She wore a black, short-sleeve shirt over a mesh undershirt, black pants with bandages tied at the bottom and black sandals. A white sash was wrapped from over her right shoulder, down and wrapped around her waist before the last meter was rested on the brown sash she had over from her left shoulder to right waist. A large, sand gourd was attached to the sash with a cork covering the inside. On her forehead was a kanji - seal, Naruto suspected - for "love," which was strange for a seal.

"G-Gaara." Kankuro stuttered fearfully, scared so much to even look the redhead in the eye.

"Nothing's wrong, Gaara," Temari was a little more calm, but she still looked a little afraid. "We were just coming to get you."

There was silence, Naruto just watching the redhead stare intently at her teammates. He was breaking the situation down as he went. The seal - kanji - was surely not the official seal; there had to be another part somewhere. That "love" was caused by something very good, or very bad. Considering how she acted, Naruto knew it was horrible. The gourd, no matter how dismissive it could be, caught his attention. He wondered what was in it, if not just sand itself.

"Then why did I see you punching that kid?" Gaara's voice shook Temari and Kankuro, though Temari just stepped back.

"All yours." She whispered to her brother.

"Now, little sister, I-" Kankuro held his hands up as he sweated at the glare he was getting.

"You were disappointing Suna's name and starting a war." Gaara interrupted her brother as she stepped down from the tree branch. "What would Mother say?"

The two siblings paled at their younger sibling's words. "W-we're so sorry." Kankuro whimpered as he broke down under the redhead's gaze.

Gaara turned to Naruto and the three Academy students before bowing her head quickly. "I'm sorry for my brother's actions. I will make sure he pays for them."

Naruto nodded his head before gently pulling Konohamaru from behind him and walked towards Gaara. "Shake on it, Konohamaru."

Konohamaru looked up at Naruto in surprise but was met with a smile. "W-why?"

"To show that we hold no grudge." Naruto answered and nudged the younger's shoulder. "Go on."

Konohamaru blushed in embarrassment as he looked at the dirt. Suddenly, a pale hand eased its way into his vision, and he looked up at the emotionless face. He took it and shook before looking back down in a nice shade of crimson.

"Have a good day, Gaara-chan." Naruto grinned, shaking the redhead's hand. "And be careful today, there are some stalkers out. One of them is in the tree."

Gaara turned to see Sasuke on the other branch with a kunai out, staring at her intently. Naruto leaned down, his mouth a few centimeters away from her ear. "If you want, I can guard you and that tanuki in your head."

Gaara's eyes widened before looking to see Naruto walked away to Haku. M-my sand didn't react. What happened?

"Let's go everyone, and you, too, Sasuke." Naruto called before looking at the three Suna siblings. "It was nice knowing you two. As for you, Kankuro, pray very hard that we don't meet in the Chunin Exams. You'll regret ever coming here."

Without checking if Sasuke was following - which the raven wasn't - and left the alley with his small group.

"That was awesome, Boss!" Konohamaru shouted when they were far from the redhead. "You had them all scared of you!"

"They weren't scared of me, Konohamaru. They were scared of the redhead." Naruto spoke, idly taking Haku's hand into his.

"But you also had the woman under pressure!" Konohamaru shouted as enthusiastically as before. "What did you say, anyway?"

"Yeah, what did you say?" Haku asked, glancing at Naruto's contemplative features.

"Something I'm curious of the answer." Naruto said in a curious tone.

(O.o) Shimura Smithery - 14:43 (o.O)

Naruto arrived at the building alone and looked at the crowd that was gathered for the first test. He could identify all but one hidden village. He recognised the three groups of Ame ninja with gasmasks of some kind as they watched him intently, whispering among themselves. There was a single group of Kumo ninja, which had a very busty blonde with them. At least two teams from Iwa were idly talking amongst themselves about whatever, Naruto didn't really pay attention. Four groups from Oto glanced at Naruto, but a single group looked at him the longest, the raven-haired woman the most. Lastly, the Suna siblings were in a corner where everyone stayed away from, by fear or privacy was anybody's guess.

But the one group that Naruto didn't recognise were the ones that didn't wear a village headband. The first was a tall man at a bit over six feet, broad shoulders sloped down relaxed. He wore a fur coat and fur hat, which held a red star on its front. His tan pants weren't as equally thick and tucked into his black boots. The other wore the same attire, but was a lithe form with an equally beautiful face; puffy, pink lips with fair skin and emerald eyes, her black hair was in a bun in her hat.

The last figure was as clothed and stood out of the crowd, gaining a few people's attention. He wore a black military vest that Naruto saw on Project X bodyguards and soldiers. His pants were black, tucked into his black boots, and the pockets were filled with objects that worried some of what it was. His hair was brown, and his eyes were covered by weird goggles and his mouth was covered by a leather breathing mask. His left arm was, by far, the most interesting part of his body; it was metal, with the very top with a red star, and moved like any other limb.

This year is going to break records for the most weirdest, and deadliest. Naruto thought to himself before walking to a vacant corner and waited for his team. It wasn't long until one by one Kurenai's team made, which led to Kiba playing jokes about Naruto. It ended when the blonde chipped his tooth from a single punch.

Then it was Asuma's team, which Ino fawned over the metal-armed mystery ninja. Shikamaru and Chouji sat with Naruto, idly waiting the for the Exam's start as Chouji shared some of his chips with the blonde. It was three minutes until the start before Sasuke and Sakura walked in. Ino ignored Sakura's comment about not stealing her Sasuke-kun, which made the pink-haired girl's brain reboot.

"You guy's look a little inexperienced to be in the Chunin Exam." Kabuto commented as he walked over, sharing a glance with Naruto.

"Inexperienced? Who do you think we are?" Kiba shouted, trying to intimidate Kabuto. "What do you think we are? A couple of greenies?"

"Yes, actually." Kabuto chuckled before scratching the side of his cheek as pulled out a deck.

"Ooh, Magic." Naruto grinned before pulling a deck of his own out. "I was waiting for someone else to play me."

Kabuto blinked in surprise of the blonde. "No...these are info cards. They hold information on anybody ever known. All I need is a name and village."

Naruto tossed the cards in the air before it exploded in smoke, his face was annoyed but calm. "Right, that's what I thought." He then leaned forward before pointing at the metal-armed ninja. "Got information on him?"

Kabuto looked over before shaking his head. "He's not a ninja. He's from the Land of Iron, so my cards don't have information on him."

"What's a Land of Iron samurai doing in the Chunin Exams?" Naruto asked, slowly leaning back against the wall.

"It was proposed by Mifune, the leader of the samurai, as to establish relations with the rest of the Elemental Nations." Kabuto answered before turning back to his cards. He picked the first from the deck, channeling chakra to it, and placed it on the ground. "There are a total of twenty-four teams, most are from Konoha. Three are from Ame, one from Kumo, two from Iwa, two from Suna, and four from Oto."

Sasuke got in his peripheral vision. "I want to know about Rock Lee of Konoha, Gaara of Suna, and Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha."

Naruto chuckled and leaned forward. "Yeah, let's see what your cards say about me."

"You know they never lie." Kabuto said, his voice tense. "Never."

Naruto caught the meaning but shrugged. "It'd get out some time."

"Fine, but you'll be last." Kabuto muttered in a sigh with a nod. He pulled from the top deck, channelled chakra into it, and showed the card. "Rock Lee of Konoha; trained with Neji Hyuuga and Tenten Shimura, their sensei is Maito Guy, the Green Breast of Konoha. Lee's ninjutsu and genjutsu are nonexistent due to his low chakra reserves, but he was specially taught by Guy."

Kabuto pulled out the next card and placed it next to Lee's. "Gaara Sabaku, the youngest child and second daughter to the current Kazekage. She is the holder of the tanuki Biju Shukaku. Her ninjutsu consists of the sand grains in her gourd, which she is able to control to a full extent. She has never used genjutsu or taijutsu."

Kabuto hesitated but pulled the next card. Instead of his smiling, blue-eyed face there was the white-black Deadpool mask, looking at the photographer with an evident grin. "Says...that Naruto Uzumaki is not within the parameters of average shinobi because of his participation in a secret group like the Anbu. He knows the secret Shadow Clone technique, a few genjutsu though not to a Jonins extent, and is above Jonin level in taijutsu. He also uses the rare fuinjutsu and is known to create barrier, seals, and traps out of this technique. He is also masterful in kenjutsu with his dual katana, and is also seen to be good with stealth."

Everyone looked at Naruto as he slept with his eyes open, staring blankly at the ceiling. Choji stifled a chuckle with a handful of chips. Fantomex and his team, along with Moriko and Sai and their single male teammate, walked over in time to hear the white-haired man's words.

"So that's why Choji was...different when he came back after a month." Ino spoke, looking at her teammate in realization. "But organization would use thirteen year olds?"

"A special one, that's what." Naruto sighed and sat forward. "Listen up, none of this is to be spoken at all during the Chunin Exams, got it? I will get you guys clued in, if I learn you can keep a secret. But right now, in front of a large gathering of ninja, is not the right time."

Everyone nodded in understanding, though Ino blushed at Naruto's stare when he spoke of it keeping a secret. Afterall, she is known as the leading gossiper in the whole village.

"Why weren't I chosen for this?" Sasuke suddenly asked, angry because he was confused. "I, an Uchiha, would be first mentioned in something like this!"

"Shut up." Naruto stood up and met with the two males of the Oto team phasing away, leaving the raven-haired girl to stare at him. He took a few steps forward but leaned forward, out of breath, when an armoured fist was slammed into him. He was then blasted back by a sharp gust of wind from the spiky black-haired boy.

The room went quiet as they watched the blond slam into the table in front of the last teammate, who watched with indifference. She leaned down, gently cupping Naruto's chin and forced him to look up at her. He blinked a few times before focusing on her black eyes.

"Naruto Uzumaki," He whispered, looking him over. "The so-called Deadpool."

Naruto's eyes widened before he was punched, his nose breaking with a loud crack. He let his head smack on the tile floor as the girl let go and held his nose. That fucking hurt! It feels like it was hit with a brick!

'Sounds like a nice girl. Bringing her home?' Kyuubi's voice spoke through his ringing ears.

Not anymore! Naruto shouted before standing up, seeing a long line of Project X operatives walking into the room. Danzo led them.

"Calm down everyone." Danzo spoke before looking at Naruto's broken nose. "Fix that before you create a mess."

Naruto snapped his nose into place and staggered off to his group.

Danzo placed a large pile of papers before addressing the room. "You are now in the Chunin Exams. Anything I put you through, you will either fail or pass. No if, ands, or buts. You will sign these papers to ensure the safety of the village and their proctors, and that you agree to my terms. Once it is handed out, sign your name and ID number then hand to back on the desk."

Naruto took the paper that was handed to him from a proctor and quickly signed his name before handing it back. Everybody did the same without reading the four-page contract, which made Danzo grin.

"Good. Now, a proctor will come to you and he will take you to a separate room for your test." Danzo finished before sitting at the desk.

Naruto watched as Kano walked over with a grin. "Hey, DP, seems that you're with me."

Naruto smirked and stood up. He followed the man down the halls until they made it to the furthest room. He was let in first before three pairs of hands held down on his body, forcing him to a table in the middle of the room. He struggled to get free before pushed to lay on his back on the table.

"Welcome to the first part of the Exam." Kano spoke before pulling a cart over to Naruto. "We will be testing your ability to withstand interrogation. Sounds fun, don't it?"

Naruto was going to answer but a cloth was held down over his face. All he heard was the swish of water before it was poured on him, giving him no warning. He struggled as his breathing was cut short, suffocating him a bit. It ended after a few seconds and he was allowed a breather. The cloth was taken off his face and he immediately coughed out the remaining water in his lungs.

"Feel like quitting yet?" Kano's voice reached Naruto through his coughing fits.

Naruto choked out a laugh. "You'll have to do more than this to make me quit."

The cloth went back over his face and water was again poured. This went on for a few seconds before all of the water in the ten gallon can was gone.

"Well, on to the next one, I guess." Kano said as Naruto was forced off the table and forced to stand, his arms pinned against his back.

Naruto's eyes snapped open as Kano's open palm struck his bare stomach, having been ripped open. He was struck four more times before his legs gave out and he had to be held up by the other three Root Anbu.

"Wake up, DP!" Kano shouted as he slapped Naruto again. "If you fall asleep you fail."

Naruto's head hung as he breathed hard, his knees buckling as he tried to stand. He hissed as two more smacks were delivered. He bit back a choked cry and glared Kano in the eye. "Hit me harder, pussy!"

Kano did just that for five more times before his own palm was turning red. He whipped it back and forth as if it was on fire before leading Naruto to an extra room. When close enough, Naruto was stripped from all his clothes before the door was opened to release a gust of freezing air. He shivered as cold water was thrown on his body before being pushed into the freezing, concrete room.

(O.o) Hypothermia room - Ten Minutes later (o.O)

Naruto's teeth chattered as he laid weak on the floor, shivering at the freezing temperatures. He would've passed out by the cold if it weren't for his ability to heat his body with chakra. He looked to see the door open, but instead another gallon of water he was picked up and dragged out of the room.

"You still conscious, DP?" Kano asked, walked around to get a look at Naruto. "You know, what everyone else is going through can be considered elementary for what we're doing to you."

"That makes me feel so much more special." Naruto drawled, his body heating itself to normal levels.

"One last technique." Kano said as Naruto's hands were cuffed and lifted to be hooked by a chain over where the table used to be. "Thankfully, you'll have to endure this once, for five seconds. If you're still conscious after that, you win."

Naruto nodded but groaned and shivered as water was once again covering his body. "Screw fucking water. Wish it was all just sent to fucking Hell!"

Kano chuckled as he brought over two large wire cables that were connected to the exposed light wires. He clamped them together, sending sparks out. "This is gonna get...shocky."

Naruto just stared at the man, a dumbfounded look on his face. "Corny."

Kano scowled before thrusting the frayed wires to Naruto's body, electrocuting the boy painfully. It lasted for exactly five seconds, leaving the blonde a panting, twitching mess.

"You pass." Was all Naruto heard be passing out.


What Naruto went through in chronological order were Waterboarding, Abdominal Slaps, Hypothermia, and something I saw in Battlefield that looked badass- and painful. R&R!

A/N: I read your note, Enyalio, and I will take that review to heart right now. As of this update (October 18, 2015) I am redoing the whole story to fit the reasonableness. I agree with Enyalio's review and think that it is too big to ignore. If anyone else thinks that it's bad I would like for you to recommend a Beta-reader.