Spiders
A/N: this was inspired by a piece of dialogue from the story Hot Cocoa, which was written by DuckofIndeed. The sentence that inspired me said that "Kefka nearly succeeded in making good on his threat to burn the inn down just yesterday when he was sent into a panic over a spider." It got me thinking about what would happen if Kefka disliked spiders. And why not when he hates everything else in the world?
Of the many things that Kefka hated, one of the things at the top of his list was spiders, which fell somewhere between General Leo and people who put too much gravy on his food. This was not to be confused with having a fear of spiders. There was very little, if anything, that Kefka was afraid of. However, those who saw him in a panic because a spider was crawling up the wall thought differently.
It was always the same routine whenever Kefka spied one of the nasty little insects creeping across the floor. The moment he laid eyes on it he would scream, which was a sound that no one wanted to hear because it was usually followed by a massive explosion. Kefka's scream was the first, and often the last, warning to get out of the way before perishing in a fiery inferno. If you were in the vicinity and heard him scream, there was a good chance that death and destruction wasn't far behind.
First he would scream, launching into a mindless rant about how much he hated spiders, which often included more hates than was necessary to get his point across, then conjure a ball and fire and hurl it at the unfortunate insect. This was the very definition of overkill. And while he could easily strike a target from up to two hundred yards away, he had trouble hitting something that was less than an inch across and was scurrying across the floor at top speed.
Terra came running when she heard him scream, and saw him launch himself off the armchair and run screaming through the room, chasing after something that was too small for her to see. There were several burns in the carpet, as well as a few scorch marks on the wall. She was lucky he hadn't set the curtains on fire like he did the last time there was a spider in their living quarters.
"Kefka, stop!" Terra cried. "What are you doing?"
Because his sanity was in question, Terra never knew if he was in fact chasing an actual spider or some figment of his imagination. One could never be sure when it came to Kefka.
"Spider!" Kefka screeched in high-pitched voice. He stopped abruptly, a blazing ball of amber flames shimmering in the palm of his hand. He looked wildly around the room, searching for the elusive insect before turning to face Terra. "We have to kill it before it gets away. Or so help me, I will burn this bug infested hell hole to the ground!"
Being the kind hearted, gentle soul that she was, Terra couldn't stand seeing an innocent creature harmed in a senseless act of violence. She pulled a brightly colored handkerchief from the pocket in her dress, and joined him in his search, hoping to find the spider before he did so she could catch it and release it outside.
She got down on her hands and knees, looking under the coffee table and around the couch. "Where did you last see it?"
Kefka knelt down beside her, narrowing his eyes as he peered into the shadows beneath the table. "It was here a moment ago," he said. The next thing Terra knew she was being pushed to the floor, his foot on her back as he leapt onto the coffee table, scattering books and papers onto the floor in his mad dash across the furniture.
She saw the hairy brown spider skittering across the floor and under the table, the crazed magician running and diving onto the floor on the opposite end of the table. His cloak swirled around him as he spun on the spot and reared back, laughing as he prepared to launch another fireball at the spider.
Terra shrieked and ducked as the fireball flew past head, where it struck a vase of flowers on the mantle above the fireplace. When she looked back the spider was heading towards the couch, with Kefka shouting obscenities as he chased after it. She pounced on the spider, trying to catch it and scoop it up in her handkerchief.
"What are you doing, you silly girl?" Kefka snarled. "I told you we have to kill it!"
"I'm trying to save it!" said Terra, narrowly missing the spider as it turned and headed for the door.
There was a brief scuffle as Terra and Kefka scrambled over top of each other, which resulted in Terra getting tangled in his many layers of clothes and tripping on his cloak. She hit the floor just as Kefka let fly with another fireball, which missed its mark and soared out an open window, due to Terra getting caught in his scarves and pulling him down with her when she fell.
The mage started screaming, his cloak falling into his face as Terra fought to untangle herself from the mass of fabric. He kicked her in the stomach, then rolled over onto his belly and lifted his cloak off his head, peering out from under it as he searched for the spider. Terra crawled out from under his cloak, with one of his freathers dangling from the sleeve of her dress. She stopped beside him on her hands and knees, the both of them looking around and wondering where the spider had gone.
And then they saw it. It was halfway across the room and heading towards the bedroom.
Kefka got to his feet first, followed by Terra who ran to keep up with him. She dove on the spider, covering it with her handkerchief just as Kefka prepared to burn the helpless insect alive.
He stood over her, his blue eyes reflecting the dancing flames in his hand, the flickering light casting ominous shadows across his painted face. "Stand aside, Terra."
"No!" She shielded the spider with both hands, covering it and her floral print handkerchief.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me. I said get out of my way!"
"Why do you have to kill everything?" Terra shot back angrily. "Can't you let it go just this once?"
Kefka's eyes flashed dangerously as he glared at her. He was more than capable of killing both her and the spider, and she knew it. She also knew that if anyone could get through to him it was her. She was the only friend he had. And although most of his memories had wasted away to the point where he no longer remembered the happier moments they once shared, she still remembered when he was a better person, one that sewed her stuffed animals when they fell apart, and who used to spend hours coloring with her when she was little.
He hesitated before dissolving the flames in his hand. "You have ten seconds."
"Thank you." Terra scooped up the spider and ran out the door.
Kefka frowned, watching as she bolted out the door and down the stairs. He couldn't remember what he had done to make her like him. The fact that she came running when she heard him scream baffled him, because most people would run the other way whenever he was upset.
"I'll never understand her." He shook his head, turning on heel and heading back to his room. "But if I look on the bright side, letting that spider go means I have more time to focus on bigger targets. And what good is killing something if you can't listen to it scream? People make better noises when they're being tortured than insects, and they're just as much fun to squash."
