Twelve

Hawaii

"Mulder this might be uneven," Monica mumbled as she stood behind him in the Hawaiian compound. To Mulder, the pale, smooth interior reminded him of Antarctica. They had lighting which he had not been expecting, just as they'd had in Antarctica. The building from the outside looked like a wooden house, but inside it was modern and slick and technologically advanced. When they had woken and explored, the others had been so amazed and intrigued by the whole thing; Mulder and Scully had not even flinched.

The one difference between the compound and what he had left in Antarctica was that there were windows to the outside, and as he sat on a stool in front of one he could look outside to the water and tall grass and vegetation on the nearby hill. He could also see and hear the rain.

"You say that as though you haven't already started cutting," he mumbled, only just able to hear the soft snip of scissors behind him as Monica trimmed his hair. She laughed.

"Okay. Then it 'is' uneven. I'm surprised you haven't kept this up yourself."

"I have, just not in the last few months," he replied.

"Dana hasn't though," Monica countered gently. Scully was a sensitive subject. She was sitting outside under the cover of the veranda, watching the rain and writing in a diary. She had objected to Mulder being rendered unconscious by whatever drug they had been given to get them to Hawaii, but it had been the only real solution if she refused to sail, which she had.

Monica estimated they had been unconscious for less than twelve hours, and she had woken up feeling as though she had simply been asleep. She did not think the drug had caused any problems with her baby and Nicky was also the same happy and chatty boy. Yet according to Mulder and Scully their last exposure to such a drug had involved a much larger quantity and a longer period of sleep, and the recovery had been more worrying.

They had all been awake for three days though, and nobody was suffering any lingering effects. Gibson and Sarah had taken it upon themselves to talk to Eddie and help him with some equipment, and Skinner and Shannon were off exploring in the rain somewhere. Monica and Mulder had been chatting but Monica had gotten the feeling Mulder would have rather been elsewhere, and before he had made an escape she had talked him into letting her cut his shaggy hair.

"How come she doesn't want to?" she asked.

"Scully?" Mulder mumbled, shrugging. "Cut her hair you mean?" Monica hummed. "I dunno. It's long and thick and I suppose she doesn't see the point. I don't mind it long."

"She might look younger if I can take a few inches off. Several inches."

"We don't care about looking young so much anymore," he chuckled. "I still think she's hot, and when she actually brushes it, it's nice."

"Are you treating her for depression?" Monica asked seriously. Mulder pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes in thought as his body tensed. Monica noticed and rested her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them briefly in an effort to calm him. "I don't mean-"

"I know what you mean," he huffed.

"Should we be as worried as we are? I suppose I just want to know if there's anything we can do to help because it seems like she is driving this melancholy atmosphere here. You don't seem...as bad."

"She's my partner. I don't treat her as a psychologist," he answered. "And she's not depressed. Neither am I. Emotionally I have been where she is before, so I handle it better, and I hide it better. Scully, much as I love her, she has never been able to hide her emotions. She's confused me with them, but she's never hidden them. At least not well."

"But now that it's raining and things are being...replaced outside, will that help?"

"I think it will make it worse."

"But it's proof that we can move past this," Monica insisted hopefully. "It's proof that we can start to survive again, somewhere tolerable, and that we can continue to exist."

"Is that what it was like in the colony?" Mulder asked.

"Yeah," Monica answered, walking around from behind him and leaning against the bench, bracing herself with her hands either side of her waist. Mulder looked up at her from his chair with a thoughtful but otherwise blank expression on his face. "What was it like in Antarctica?"

"When we were home it felt like home, and we were able to be comfortable there, but everywhere else it was surreal, sterile, and kind of sad. We were in limbo. We worked long hours because there was nothing else to do. I usually helped Scully and Eddie in the labs."

"So being here now should be a huge improvement, right?" Monica asked. Mulder shook his head. "Why not?"

"You said you can continue to exist here, but we can't. You can stay here and raise your kids, and Skinner and Shannon are only just starting their relationship, and Gibson and Sarah are young and could do anything, and they could be great leaders, but we've had our shot at all that, and we don't have kids or a future to look forward to other than a future of aging."

"What are you saying then?" Monica asked, confused. Her voice was soft as she struggled to understand. She remembered what Gibson had said that first afternoon. She heard his words over and over again inside her head when she let herself. 'They're tired of living. They want to move on.'

They looked tired, but Monica did not want to think about what Gibson had really meant. It was beyond her comprehension of who she knew Mulder and Scully to be; stronger than that.

"I don't know what I'm saying," Mulder answered, coy but modest. "Just that...all this is probably bringing back more memories of a world we're sad to have lost rather than giving us hope for some kind of new and exciting future."

"Mulder, forgive me," Monica whispered. "But it sounds like you're depressed, and it's okay if you are, but-"

"It's totally the opposite," Mulder insisted, sitting up straighter and staring at her with wise, brown eyes. "In Antarctica we came to a gradual realisation that we were working on a project that would be the sum of all our work, and we got to experience and know about things that on the X Files I only used to dream about. When I go to sleep at night, and when I wake up, I look at Scully and I don't feel sad or helpless or dismal. I feel as though I have accomplished everything in my life that I wanted to, and I feel complete. I don't know how long a person can feel like that before something changes and I don't want it to change. I want that feeling to stay forever. Scully's similar, but she's incredibly homesick."

"Homesick," Monica echoed sceptically.

"Her family," Mulder whispered. "Our house in Virginia. She misses those things, but she also misses who she was, who I was. I miss those people too. We're still here and I would never change anything but we've had a lot of time to reminisce, and some memories evoke stronger emotions than others."

"We're all homesick," she defended. "We all have those memories."

"Scully and I are older-"

"Not by much, and John is older than you both-"

"No, not old out here," he corrected. He held a hand over his heart. "Old in here. We have lived a thousand lives, or at least it feels that way."

"Are you going to kill yourselves?" Monica asked bluntly, not taking her eyes from his.

"I don't know," Mulder lied simply. "That's undecided."

"Well will you be here when the baby comes?"

"I don't know," he repeated. Monica frowned, sighing audibly. "Mon don't take this the wrong way, but being there when Nicky was born just about broke Scully's heart. I'm not sure she could actually do it again. I don't think she's strong enough."

"So in a year you've aged a few decades," Monica reasoned curiously. "What if these feelings of being done and complete are just some sort of subconscious denial about the fact that you can't see yourself with a future here, and what if you DO have a future here? What if we think you could? Doesn't that mean anything?"

"I don't want a future here," Mulder admitted honestly, watching her carefully as her face paled and her fingers gripped the bench. "I don't want to spend my days hanging out with Skinner or worrying about whether or not Gibson can hear me make love to my wife or playing with kids and having to look up to see that look of longing in Scully's eyes that makes me want to go back fifteen years and change everything."

"What do you want then?" Monica asked, her voice barely above a whisper as tears gathered in her eyes.

"I want..." Mulder drifted off, thinking carefully before he answered. "A lifetime supply of sunflower seeds." Monica laughed at the sudden misdirection and shook her head as Mulder grinned and shrugged innocently. What did he expect her to say? He giggled when she reached for a nearby towel and flicked him about the head.

"What's going on?" Scully asked from the doorway. Mulder turned and grinned widely at her, pointing to his head.

"Like the new style?" he asked. Scully chuckled and walked forward, standing behind him and running her fingers through his springy hair. She hummed appreciatively, pecking his temple and wrapping her arms around him to lean against him from behind. Her orange hair fell thickly over her shoulder and tickled Mulder's cheek and upper arm and he pulled her closer, breathing in her clean scent.

"Very nice Monica," she complimented. "That should keep it out of his eyes a while longer."

"Mulder was just telling me he was looking forward to some sunflower seeds," Monica replied. "What are you looking forward to?"

"Dancing," Scully answered without hesitating. Monica smiled tightly and excused herself to go to the bathroom, and Scully leant her head closer to Mulder's ear. "Bet you don't know why I keep saying that," she taunted softly.

"We haven't danced in a long time," he mumbled in reply. She giggled, capturing his earlobe in her lips briefly and enjoying his soft gasp.

"Remember your zombie theory?" she asked. "First they eat and drink, then dance and make love." Mulder smiled and leaned his head closer to hers. He wrapped his arms around himself and her, holding her against him and allowing her to tangle her own arms through his. When he was younger he never could have predicted how it would be when he found the woman he was meant to share his life with. There was not even a question of Scully's place beside him. Perhaps if the world had never changed they would have grown apart, but maybe not. Mulder had never wanted to part from her and she had always stayed with him despite numerous opportunities to leave. He would have held on forever. Just as he was now, he realised.

"Is that how you want it to be for us?" he asked, his voice cracking as Scully let her lips drift over his freshly shaved cheek. She nodded silently against him, her breathing thickened by unshed tears clogging her sinuses. "Sit," he whispered, turning in the chair until he found the hem of her shirt. Scully walked around and straddled him in the chair comfortably as Mulder sought out her forehead and tenderly rested his against hers, nuzzling her nose and pecking her lips intermittently. "Sounds good to me," he assured her, aware she was waiting for an answer.

"Good," she hissed. "Because besides swimming in the ocean, it's the last thing on my list. What's on your list?"

"Just you," he whispered hurriedly, taking her lips in a firm, insistent kiss that left them both moaning hungrily into one another's mouths. Scully was not sure what Monica and Mulder had been talking about, but considering the way Monica had rushed out and how confident Mulder suddenly felt Scully had a good idea part of it had involved her. Every morning they woke up together Mulder looked a little bit more secure in the knowledge that they were a day closer to some sort of conclusion, and suddenly as he kissed her so fervently she knew that it had all clicked inside him. He was just as ready as she was.

They had given the world and each other everything they had, and there was nothing left to do but surrender. The idea did not feel nearly as shameful as Scully had always imagined.

xxx

"This is amazing," Monica gushed as she, Shannon and Eddie walked across the grass towards the sound of unfamiliar bird calls as dusk fell over their island. "I can't believe there are birds. Eddie, this is...incredible."

"Why so incredible?" he asked. "We've had these genetics for a very long time. These birds were saved from Antarctica. It's not so hard to return."

"But you can't just make it how it was, right? This is all...I mean it's new."

"The populations are beginning again," he confirmed. "The only mature species here are you lot. That's why we're keeping the rest of you in the processing centre until the ecosystem here is stable enough to cope. I want to monitor the other populations here to make sure they can reproduce in the wild. We'll set up the research stations and better residencies and then the rest of the humans can come."

"What about the United States?" Shannon asked carefully. "You said you were granted that territory also?"

"By request I've ordered the east to be cleared first. Most buildings will be taken down to prepare the land for its return to a wilderness state. I don't anticipate any humans travelling there for many generations, but on these islands I can provide everything you'll need. You've already got water and sanitation and electricity."

"Certainly more than we've had for a very long time," Monica assured him gratefully.

"My aim here isn't to study you but to help preserve something I'm passionate about, so I won't be leaving you to fend for yourselves as you did in the colonies."

"Did Dana ever secure the medicines I asked her to?" Shannon asked.

"Yes and once they were unconscious we were able to salvage most."

"Unconscious?" Monica asked.

"For their own safety. I guess you'd call it favouritism, and Dana had been about to ask me for permission for her and Mulder to return to America when the turbulence began."

"They wanted to come back?" Shannon asked. "To where?"

"One of the colonies. Dana thought she deserved to be a doctor there."

"Would you have said yes?"

"If I thought it would have brought them any happiness. As it was, I believe she was seeking an alternative to their lifestyle that was more real or human, but I don't think it would have made her or Mulder very happy. They had a much more comfortable life in Antarctica."

"I just don't get it," Monica sighed, running her hands through her dark brown hair. "This morning I stood there and listened to Mulder state very certainly that he did not want a future here, as though making that sort of decision was simple. They should not be this tired, like everyone keeps saying they are. Physically they are in perfect health. To me they're emotionally drained, but I would have thought someplace like this, where everything is renewed, would be a good thing?"

"Dana was like this before," Shannon pointed out gently. "When she was recovering from the injury she inflicted onto her wrist. Actually she's in better shape now because she has Mulder and neither is physically hurt."

"Well what can we do?" Monica pressed. "I don't want to lose them. They're some of my best friends, and there's no reason for them to feel this way. We've all been down and they're entitled to that, but we can't let them just give up."

"They've done a very good thing," Eddie added. "They told us about the extra magnetite deposits and Dana helped develop the material that initiated the demise of the supersoldiers using her science and our equipment. Without Shannon's efforts and theirs, we could not be here right now. I never would have convinced those above me to let me return without being able to refer to them. It's likely you all would have been killed in the colony, either by us or one of your diseases."

"We could still succumb to those things," Monica told him. He laughed and shook his head.

"Narr, Monica. I guess they haven't told you, but Dana was in charge of guarding our stores of medical treatments, and we saved those. The only things we can't do anything about are a stroke or a sudden massive heart attack. And old age, of course. I'm confident that as long as you remain top of the food chain on this island you will all prosper for your lives. Your children, too."

"That's all I could have ever really asked for," Monica sighed. "Are you in charge of that? Or is Dana?"

"I am. While she was working hard on the supersoldier treatment I was brushing up on human diagnosis and treatment using human medicine. We would do things differently because of the resources available to us, with a higher success rate, but I needed to be able to explain stuff to people in terms they'd understand, you know?" Monica nodded. "Dana says I'd pass any medical exam with my knowledge; I just lack practical experience."

"Certainly something Dana doesn't lack," Shannon chuckled.

"Which is why she would be needed here," Monica insisted with a sigh. "We have all been through so much and in so many ways they've had the last year easy compared to us. Easy! Now it's all changing again and they're the ones that have always been stable and solid and people we can count on. Eddie you're saying we have to rebuild the world, and you're offering us a lot of assistance which is amazing and I'm still trying to grasp the concept that there is water on this grass beneath my feet, but I...Who's going to lead if they're not here?"

"They're not leaders," Eddie replied seriously. "They've excelled in their fields, and they've led in terms of their work, but they are too insulated to lead a larger group. They're introverts, they don't like listening to other people's mundane problems outside the practice of their careers, and they would prefer each other's company to anybody else's, to the point where they will actively enclose themselves in a space where nobody else can communicate with them. You think that's what makes a good leader?"

"Well, no," Monica resigned. "But surely this can't work without some sort of social organisation."

"We'll deal with that when it comes," Eddie promised her. "After speaking with you all, I would like Shannon and Walter to assume some temporary responsibilities. I prefer to stay in the background. I'm a scientist; not a politician."

"How come they don't want you back then?" Monica asked. "If you're such a big scientist where you're from, and you have this plague that's going to cause you all to die off, why don't they want you working on that?"

"That was my job here," Eddie chuckled. "I must admit I've never had an interest in reproducing myself and always assumed I would die without, and I think they know that. Better to have me out of the way, than slowing them down." Monica laughed. "What?"

"I think you just described the FBI's opinion of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully," she teased. "Maybe that's why you get on with them so well."

"I was very glad to meet them," he agreed. "They've uncovered amazing things in their lifetimes. They would tell me stories sometimes. Pretty cool. Where I'm from, there's no such diversity as loch monsters or parasitic spores or even different coloured skins. Although I do understand the shape-shifting; after all that's what I'm doing now."

"So this technology you're providing us," Shannon continued seriously. "You'll teach us how to do it?"

"I'll provide you with what you need," he promised. "It isn't hard, just different to what you're used to. Everyone will need to take on different roles but we have some others from Antarctica who have been working in those roles for a long time and who can help train."

"Humans?" Shannon asked.

"Yes," Eddie confirmed. "Mulder and Dana can confirm that. Dana examined them all upon her arrival and they were regulars on Mulder's basketball court. They're all middle-aged men, so have no children to pass these things onto, but they will be happy to be home also."

"Do Mulder and Scully know their friends have survived?" Monica asked.

"They were not friends," Eddie answered with a smirk. "I was their only real friend there. They were respected, don't get me wrong, but with Dana the only female and with her superior position and striking features she was a source of some suspicion. Mulder was just happy to do his own thing. But he did well to get everyone together for the odd game."

"From what I know of Mulder, that's somewhat of a miracle," Shannon taunted dryly.

"Could we set up a hoop or something?" Monica asked hopefully. "Maybe that will bring them out of their shell?" Eddie hummed, thoughtful.

"I'm not sure about basketball, but since we've got so much grass now I might be able to dodgy-up a baseball bat."

"Dodgy-up?" Monica laughed. "Very scientific of you Eddie." Eddie shrugged casually.

"You start talkin' sports and I loosen up, Monica," he drawled, pretending to dribble a few steps ahead. "Anyway, from what I know of John, I reckon you'd have a better chance of convincing him you're okay to play baseball five months pregnant compared to running around on a hard basketball court."

"They're gonna put me in the outfield anyway," she laughed. "But okay, you're on. If I convince John to let me play, you find a bat and a ball."

"I don't have to look very far," Eddie chuckled. "Mulder had a set in Antarctica. I nicked it when I went back."

"What were you doing with a baseball bat in Antarctica?" Shannon asked. "Did you play indoors or something?"

"Uh," Eddie hesitated as Monica and Shannon instantly shared a suspicious glance at one another, Shannon smirking while Monica raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, somethin' like that."

xxx

"Batter up!" Skinner called from the pitcher's mound, which was really the flattened baseball cap which had travelled with him since the invasion. The grass beneath their bare feet was soft and moist from the early morning rain and the night dew. It was dark, and stars filled the black sky above them, but the grassed area had been lit by a small, cordless sphere Eddie had thrown up onto the gutter of the nearby house. Only Mulder and Scully did not seem to care that there were no actual lights. They took the light purely for granted, but Skinner understood they had been living with such power for more than a year. He was sure when they had first arrived in Antarctica they had been just as intrigued.

Everyone was spread out on the grass and eager to keep the game moving. Sarah was sitting beside Monica playing with Nicky and following the game by ear. They had split the remaining seven into teams of three and four, and for the time being it was men versus women. It sounded like more of a disadvantage than it actually was, because Shannon had no trouble hitting a home run every time she stepped up to bat.

Though she had been nice about it and the ball never went too far away; she was just faster and nobody was game to step in her way. Mulder suspected if they did step in her way she wouldn't hurt them as much as she might had she been in full supersoldier mentality. To him she seemed just as human as she had when they had met on the steps to the Lincoln Memorial. Mulder hoped that overriding of her strength as a supersoldier continued; he liked her much better as a human. She was fun.

As Scully answered Skinner's call and walked forward to retrieve the abandoned bat, Mulder wolf-whistled from his position catching at third base.

"Swing with the hips Scully!" Mulder shouted when he saw Scully procrastinate by readjusting her grip on the bat before she stepped to the second hat in the grass. Skinner was pitching, John was at second base and Mulder third, so she only really had to get to Gibson. Gibson had not been exposed to a lot of sports and frankly he was an easy first. They had chosen him to be on first base on purpose, in an attempt to give the girls a 'fair go'. Considering Monica had struck out and Shannon got a home run, none of them had needed to do much work in the field. Mulder knew Scully could change that once she relaxed.

"Shouldn't you be telling me not to do that?" Scully called back loudly as she got into position. "You know this was much more fun last time!"

"Yeah, well that's life!" he laughed.

"What was last time?" John asked, taunting playfully just as Skinner hushed them.

Scully swung at Skinner's pitch and missed, though not by much. Shannon fielded the ball somewhere behind her and threw it back to her boyfriend.

"Strike one!" she called as she did so. Scully growled in the back of her throat and Shannon heard her, laughing and patting her on the back. "Drop it at your feet," she mumbled.

"Hey, no tips!" Gibson exclaimed loudly.

"She's on my team!" Shannon retorted, slinking back down into her catcher's position.

The second pitch was a dolly from Skinner, who Scully knew just wanted her to hit it to feel good about herself. She humoured him, batting it gently onto the grass a metre from her and taking off to first base. She glanced over her shoulder as her foot skidded into the grass beside Gibson's hat and saw Skinner turning with the ball and throwing it at Gibson. If it had been anyone else at first base Scully would not have taken him on, but she continued to John at second base and was safe before he caught the ball. They were playing with bare hands and the ball was wet, so really Scully knew they were doing well to keep up with her. She probably could have taken on third base, but she did not want Mulder to get her out.

"So you a baseball fan Scully?" John asked. "This is fun."

"Yeah, not a bad way to spend the night," she agreed. "Never used to be a fan. Found myself converted a few years back. I'm not very good though."

"Better than Monica," John mumbled under his breath, chuckling when Scully laughed.

"Come on Mon!" she called enthusiastically when she saw Monica step up and get ready to bat again. "You gotta get me home here!"

"Hey! You've all had a turn!" Mulder replied. "Isn't it our go now?"

"I'll hit it this time, I promise!" Monica laughed. "Skinner pitch it properly this time okay? I'm not gonna break. It's not MY fault I struck out." Skinner smirked, throwing her another underarm dolly. She copied what Scully had done and with her added height the ball dropped faster and skidded along the ground past Skinner. She and Scully ran at the same time.

"Skinner, to me!" Mulder shouted early. Skinner scooped up the ball just a few metres from third base and lobbed it quickly to Mulder. It was in his hands half a second before Scully crashed into him and she groaned when she saw him holding it. He was grinning widely and running his fingers over the seam. "Think you're out, beautiful," he teased.

"Why didn't you send it to first?" she asked.

"Cos I'm a better catch," Mulder explained. "And I love that pouty expression you've got on right now." Scully glared at him playfully. "Okay, change over!"

xxx

"I'm exhausted!" Scully exclaimed as she collapsed onto her back on the bed. Mulder removed his t-shirt and chuckled, running fingers through his hair. He found Scully's brush on their small table and handed it to her as she reluctantly pushed herself back up.

"You know what they were trying to do right?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," she assured him, chuckling. "They think if we're having fun with them we'll think about staying differently."

"And do you?" Mulder asked curiously. She shrugged, shaking her head. "Yeah, me neither."

"But they're our friends, and I think they know-"

"I all but told Monica this morning," Mulder conceded as she took the ponytail out of her hair and began running the brush through it. "I couldn't lie when she asked me. She knows."

"It really is beautiful here and I could stay and be comfortable, but it's not where I want to be. As callous as this sounds Mulder, to me all this is just another 'open room', it's another Antarctica with grass and rain and birds, and knowing what I know of the world, I don't want this. Not for the next thirty years of my life."

"For how much longer?" he asked.

"However long it takes until Gibson and Eddie say we can go. Eddie told me he's working on it and I believe him, and Gibson also promised to help... I hope it's not long, because it is going to be hard to say goodbye. It might be the hardest thing we ever have to do but...it's the right thing to do. What about you? Are you having second thoughts? It's okay if you are-"

"No, no second thoughts," he assured her. "But we are being watched very closely here. As much as Eddie and Gibson want to help us, I think there might be stalling tactics employed."

"They know better than that. They know we don't have to wait for them. We don't need their permission. All we're trying to do is get off this island so we're not a burden. I don't want Monica or Skinner to have to...see us, to have to deal with our bodies. I don't want Gibson to listen to our last words together. I want privacy. Dignity. I think we deserve that."

"We'll get it," Mulder promised. "Because I'm not letting either of us do anything until we're off this island. Even if we have to run away ourselves and leave a note or something, I completely agree we can't burden them, and I want time alone with you before...before we...take that next step. I want us to be alone."

"Are you scared?" Scully asked softly. Mulder bit his plump, lower lip and nodded and she smiled at him warmly. "I go through stages of not wanting to do it, you know."

"Me too," he whispered. "But when I was talking to Monica, she asked me if I wanted to stay and I said I had no future here. She was devastated but as I was explaining why to her I realised I was telling the truth. I really meant it. You and I do not have a future on this island. And if something happened to you I don't want to be left alone here, and I don't want to get old here, and you know what else?" Scully raised an expectant eyebrow in a gesture he knew by heart. "Eddie brought all those cures and shit with him. People are going to be helped to survive. What is there for you to do as a doctor if that's true? And what would that mean for us? For how long would we fall into the trap of keeping ourselves alive when clearly our...our hearts are exhausted and it would be so...nice...to fall asleep with you one more time."

"Don't," Scully whispered. "You'll make me cry." Mulder chuckled.

"We've got some time," he promised. "And you know what? It's not the end. Just the physical end. You know when you slit your wrist and you told me later you'd felt my arms around you? I think that's how it will be. We will know we are still together. We'll be able to feel each other side by side and in each other's arms and we'll hold on forever without, you know, having to get out of bed to brush our teeth or take a whizz." Scully laughed and threw her brush loosely in his direction. He dove to his right and caught it, giggling when she stood and walked over to him. He hunched as she threw her arms around his neck and pressed a wet, noisy kiss to his rough cheek.

"So charming," she teased. "How do you know that's not just a nice dream, Mulder?"

"Because in those nights we were apart I would dream that I was holding you, and it was always so real and you know I think I really was with you. You're my everything, and I'll never leave you." Tears filled Scully's eyes as she nodded and mouthed 'me too', too emotional to speak. Mulder smiled and eased her carefully away from him. He handed her the brush back. "I'll be right back," he promised in a whisper. She nodded and offered him a composed 'I'm-fine' smile. She returned to sit on the bed and brush her thick hair. It took much longer than it had before the invasion, since there was so much more of it than Mulder ever remembered from back then. Not that he minded. He loved tangling his hands in it.

He hurried to the bathroom, preoccupied with the thought of kissing Scully when he got back to his bedroom, but his fantasy and journey were stopped by John, who was just coming out.

"Hey, great game tonight," John assured him. "You off to bed?"

"Yeah, we're wiped," Mulder chuckled as they passed. "See you in the morning."

"If you say so," John hummed. Mulder heard him and stopped outside the door to the bathroom, turning to look over his shoulder. John had also stopped to see if his words had any effect and they met each other's eyes calmly and seriously. "Monica told me what you said. You better say goodbye you know? And not with baseball. We expect real words."

Mulder hesitated. When the time came to leave he was not sure that either he or Scully would be able to manage anything comprehendible. Perhaps a gesture or a hug goodnight, as hopefully they would leave in the dead of night. Mulder did not want a scene. He did not want a big, soppy goodbye where everybody cried and told him he wished they would reconsider. That would be too much. He knew Scully would not want that either. Mulder nodded to John and silently crossed his chest, not giving any words he would later take back.

"Dana sure can hit once she warms up. Did you teach her?" John asked, accepting the silent promise and offering a cordial thank you by way of friendly compliment.

"Yeah I did," Mulder replied with a much warmer smile, easily recalling that night on the baseball field and how Scully had felt in his arms, and how she had laughed with delight at the height and distance of the balls they had hit together. She had not matched that in the game just passed, but she had hit some decent balls. Mulder knew Skinner, John and Gibson had been surprised and impressed by her strength. Scully had grinned proudly, and Mulder's heart had thumped with his own barely constrained pride. He liked that she could still be happy, because he was still happy. It was something he did not think the others understood.

"Well she's got a good eye," John complimented. "G'night to you both." Mulder smiled and told John he would pass on the comment. He thought he might add something smart about him being a damn good teacher too. That would earn him a laugh. Or maybe a pillow fight.