When One Door Closes

Tony sat down at his desk, eyes glazed, his mind going over the conversation he'd had in his Boss's kitchen. More importantly to the answer he'd given. Why in the hell did I say yes?! He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Something wrong Tony?" Kate asked from her desk.

"I'm going to die," The Senior Agent whimpered.

Because Gibbs is no doubt going to kill him when he finds out and Gibbs always finds out.

Ziva shrugged when Kate looked questioningly at her.

"It wasn't like I could say no when those big green eyes were looking at me like that!" Not only that, but Tim had made a very compelling case, a really compelling case during their conversation and Tony had been impressed before he returned to the problem at hand.

"But why are you asking me?" Tony had asked.

"You have experience from what I heard, and I feel like I can trust you," Tim had said before giving a small shy smile.

"Yep. Definitely doomed."


Tim had just finished folding the day's laundry when there was a knock on the front door. He was, after a quick look at the time, surprised to see it was already two o'clock. He got up from the sofa and went to open the door.

"Hello Tony," Tim smiled as he let his guest in.

"Hey Tim," Tony says as he entered, a black messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

"Are you hungry?" Tim asked as he led the older man to the living room.

"No thank you," Tony replied. He found having a bad case of nerves had taken away his appetite.

Tim nodded as he finished straightening up the living room. Grabbing the laundry basket, he went upstairs to his room. He placed the basket on the floor next to his bed before getting the big notepad and pen that he used to write down the grocery list, reminders or just random things. Heading back down, he tried to ease his excitement; ever since Ron had told him that he and Gibbs hadn't had sex that night he had been curious.

What exactly was sex?

He'd figured he could ask his husband obviously, but the one and only time he had brought it up Gibbs had given him an almost terrified look that he quickly changed the subject. Jimmy was out for obvious reasons, and because of his unpredictable and sometimes busy work schedule Ron had yet to talk to him about it or given him the items he had promised earlier. Just as he was giving up on never knowing, he remembers Tony.

On that one trip to NCIS, Tim learned that Tony was an expert, or at least that's what he gathered from the ongoing conversation. It was just his luck that the team had come by that morning.

"Oh god! You're going to be taking notes?!" Tony whimpered when he sees the notebook and pen.

"Shouldn't I be?" Tim blinked, confused.

Tony sighed. "No, it's okay. Sit down so we can start, okay?"

Tim sits and eagerly waits. Tony is silent for a moment, inwardly thanking god, the universe and whoever, that his Boss is at a mandatory two day workshop that all team leaders had to attend once a year in Virginia. Tony's not sure he would be able to explain why he was giving Tim a sex talk if Gibbs was here.

"Alright, so..." Tony begins, "let's talk about sex."


When Gibbs returned home two days later, it was early evening. He'd bought Tim a present: a souvenir mug from the gift shop in the Holiday Inn where the workshop had been held. It had cost him an arm and a leg; It's a mug, for God's sake! But Gibbs found he didn't really mind, especially when he imagined the (hopefully) surprised and delighted look on Tim's face.

He found his husband in the kitchen, finishing up dinner, so he knocked on the doorframe to get his attention. Surprisingly, when Tim turned around, his face went completely red. From the tips of his ears all the ways down his neck.

"Hey," Gibbs said after a moment's pause.

Tim squeaked and whirled back to the counter.

Gibbs looked around the kitchen but he saw nothing out of the ordinary, nor had he seen anything when he came into the house. Looking back at Tim, the Agent decided to leave it alone for the moment, and walked over to the kitchen table. He placed the bag on the table and took out the mug wrapped in white thick paper. He moved to stand beside Tim, he leaned up against the counter and was taken aback when Tim jumped, the Agent then watched his husband's face, if it were possible, turn a darker red.

"I got this for you," Gibbs said holding out the package.

Tim looks down at the gift curiously and slowly takes and unwrap it.

"Oh!" The mug was medium in size with the words Virginia in cursive with the state's colorful landmarks in the background. It wasn't really anything special but Tim smiled.

"Thank you," he said looking at Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded, a little smile on his face.


"I am so sorry! Please don't kill me!"

Gibbs stared at the Senior Agent who was down on his knees in front of him, clinging to his legs.

"Why am I going to kill you?" Gibbs asked.

Tony mumbled something but whatever it was muffled by his face pressed into Gibbs's pant leg. Gibbs sighed to himself and while asking God what he did to deserve this, smacked the man upside the head.

"DiNozzo!"

Tony looked up at him.

"Calm down, and tell me what happened."

The arms around his legs tightened and Tony whimpered.

"I taught Tim about sex!" DiNozzo wailed and buried his face back into the man's pants

"You...what?"

One hour, two cups of coffee, and a promise not to shoot later, Gibbs got the whole story. He is both relieved, confused, and oddly enough, irritated.

He's relieved, because Tim had been acting odd since he'd gotten back that day, blushing and refusing to look at him. The younger man kept stuttering out some kind of excuse or other when Gibbs asked if something had happened or if something was wrong. So knowing the reason relieved the tension he was feeling.

He was confused. First, because he didn't understand why Tim wanted to know about sex, so when he asked Tony and got his answer, he's even more confused why his husband didn't ask him.

Why he was irritated, he's not sure and at the moment didn't want to think about that too closely, didn't want to be too focused on the fact that Tony had given his husband Sex Ed 101.

"He didn't know anything, Boss," Tony said, now relieved that he wasn't going to die. "I mean he knew what a make-out session was but only because Sacks told him about it. I don't know what those people at Ark are doing, but I don't like it."

Gibbs agreed with him, all kind of thoughts going through his mind, though one gave him a pause.

"Did you let him watch porn?"

Tony blushed and squirmed, "It was the quickest way," Tony mumbled, "and it was soft core."


"You did what?!"

"I asked—"

"I heard you the first time, I just can't believe you actually asked, or that it was DiNozzo."

Ron sighed and rubbed his temple, and then looked at his friend who was now talking with an excited Jimmy.

"So, how was it?" Jimmy asked.

"Very interesting. The videos were really helpful."

"Oh god! Please tell me he didn't show you porn," Ron groaned.

"What's porn?"

"Nope, not answering that."

Jimmy and Tim pouted before going back to their conversation.

"I was a little embarrassed afterwards though. I couldn't look my husband in the eyes, still can't. Oh! I made notes. See?"

Ron made a strangled sound when Tim placed a dozen or so pages on the table. It wasn't the fact that his friends were talking about sex, or the fact that it was DiNozzo who had done the teaching instead of him. It was the fact that Tim had found out on his own. He was shocked and a little sad to put it simply. Tim and Jimmy were beginning to adapt to being outside of the Ark and its influence, soon they wouldn't need him anymore.

"Hi, you guys ready to order?"

Coming away from his thoughts and staring at their waitress, Ron realized that perhaps they shouldn't be having this conversation at a diner they frequently regularly.


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