Just Act Maturely
AN: So, this chapter is the lead in to the wedding. If you want something from the female perspective, I did a girl's night thing in RWBYond Happily Ever After chapter 9. Any bachelorette party I could think of would be basically identical to that chapter which is why this is focusing primarily on the guy's side. And guest reviewers: you're not alone in preferring this over RWBYond but there's no way I can keep this up like that. And to the other...mature...in a trashy adult fic.
Chapter 12: Guy's Night
"What are you doing?!" Jaune surprised his six-month-old daughter. She gave a humored smile as she chewed on the head of her stuffed beowolf. Citrine was already starting to teethe and her stuffed Grimm dolls were her favorite chew toy. She sat up in her little dragon onesie. Her silver eyes fixated on Jaune while she tried showing him how cool she was.
Citrine slammed the Grimm toy up and down like a rabid dog without letting go of it. She was always so happy abusing her toys like this. Jaune wondered if it had something to do with her silver-eyed instincts. He had asked Ruby if she did the same as a kid and she laughed. Didn't answer his question though and that caused Jaune to imagine Ruby eating Grimm, which was strangely arousing.
Citrine accidentally threw the Grimm off the couch. She then got the most defeated look on her face and started crying. She slammed her head into the couch and threw a tantrum. Such a temperamental brat.
"It's okay Citrine." Jaune said as he grabbed the toy. "Rawr." He made animal noises as he attacked her with the toy, turning her wails into laughs. "You better be on your best behavior tonight little missy." Jaune said as he relented. Citrine responded with a wet fart and a laugh. "That's my girl."
"Jaune, can you come here a minute!" Ruby called from the bathroom.
"Just a sec!" Jaune said. "Women...so needy. But you already knew that." Jaune whispered. "Yeah, you get it because you're one of them." Citrine smiled happily. "I'm going to talk to mommy. You wait right here." Citrine's only response was another laugh and a violent jamming of the defenseless toy into her mouth.
"Jaune!" Ruby whined. Jaune shot across the apartment and into the bathroom where Ruby was wearing nothing but a towel.
"Yes, my love?" Jaune said as he wrapped his arms around his basically naked wife-to-be.
"Did you talk to Ren?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Alright, when are they fucking getting here?"
"They'll be here in less than an hour, no need to shout." He rubbed the inside of her thigh. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong." Ruby huffed. "I'm just on my period and dealing with all this wedding bullshit and we're getting married next week and this is our bachelor night and I feel like a piece of shit for making you watch Citrine while I have fun…"
"Hey, I volunteered. You wanted to hire some random kid to babysit."
"Yeah, and I still wish you would listen to me."
"It's fine. Citrine and I are going to have all the fun." He said as he started suckling on her bare neck. "Meanwhile you'll be having a vacuous sort of fun getting drunk and dancing. This is a strategic victory in the battle for best parent." He stuck a knee between her legs to spread them. Her voice hitched.
"Citrine's safe on the couch right?" Ruby asked before proceeding.
"Beowolf in her mouth and cartoons on the TV."
"We have such a weird fucking kid." Ruby laughed as she reached back for Jaune's neck and pulled him into a kiss.
"Just a quicky while she's fine." Jaune started kissing her passionately. She dropped the towel and he dropped his pants. One hand went to one of her breasts. The other stayed on her thigh as he inserted himself. They stayed like this, grinding against each other at full speed in front of the mirror for nearly ten minutes.
Period sex wasn't as gross as some would think. Ruby was never a heavy bleeder so it was never substantially messier than regular sex. And much like the first few months of pregnancy, Ruby was absurdly horny this time of the month. Jaune was nothing if not helpful to the giant horny ball of lust and tension that composed most Ruby's being.
Jaune came first but kept going. Just as soon as Ruby was starting to quiver, he heard Citrine start crying again. Ruby pounded the sink in frustration as Jaune pulled out. Ruby bit her lip in anger.
"Mother fucker." She cursed under her breath.
"That, I am." Jaune said coyishly.
"Go." Ruby groaned. Jaune pulled his pants back up and left the room. "I'll keep myself going until she's calmed down.
He ran into the room and saw that Citrine had fallen off the couch. It wasn't much of a fall. Considering she was on her but, sitting on a pillow meant she wasn't hurt. She was crying and reaching up for the couch, where her beowolf doll still laid.
"Damn it Citrine." Jaune huffed. Citrine looked at him with a heartbroken look. He took pity on the poor creature...and Citrine and grabbed both of them up. As soon as the beowolf was firmly in hand, Citrine quieted down and started simpering. "You're lucky you're the one girl I love more than your mother." He set her in her crib and started playing the music box she received at the baby shower. "I'm going to go back to mommy. I'll be back in just a few minutes."
Jaune always kept his promises. It only took him another two minutes to send Ruby reeling into bliss. He then went back into Citrine's room while Ruby got dressed and ready. Nora and Ren arrived soon afterwards. Ren carried Nephrite into Citrine's room while Nora helped Ruby with her dress.
When the mother's left, Jaune and Ren were left with the kids, waiting for the others to arrive. Jaune got them both a drink and turned on something they'd both enjoy, reruns of previous Vytal Tournaments.
Nephrite waddled into the room with her pacifier in her mouth and her hand twirling her pink strand of hair. As soon as she reached Ren, she toppled over and looked up at him. Ren looked down at her. After a silent minute she started tugging on his leg.
"Why don't you want to play with Citrine?" Ren asked. Nephrite answered by putting her face into Ren's leg. Jaune sighed and went into the room to grab Citrine. The baby was laughing and smelled bad. So, Jaune changed her diaper. By the time he was done, he heard a few more people enter.
"Where's the party at?" He heard Tai say. Jaune's soon-to-be father-in-law was carrying a twelve-pack. The entirety of Team SSSN had also joined the gang.
"We were just going to watch some tournament stuff." Jaune said.
"I know, you invited me." Tai answered as he opened a can of beer. "How's my precious little grandbaby doing?" He asked as he tickled her. He took her into his arms and started tossing her up.
"Tai, can you please not do that?" Jaune asked.
"It's fine. Used to do it with Ruby and Yang all the time." Jaune refrained from saying that that explained a lot.
"Lighten up Jaune." Sun said as he slapped Jaune's back. "We're here to have fun doing guy stuff. Like watching teenagers beat the ever loving shit out of each other."
"Truly, there is nothing more manly." Neptune added.
"It kinda sucks that we're all crammed in here though." Sage said.
"Yeah, I would have much rather gone drinking with the girls."
"Pssh, it's not going to be as much fun as they think." Sun said. "Just found out today that Blake and Weiss are both pregnant."
"Wait, what?" A few people said at once.
"I heard about Weiss." Jaune said. "She went to the doctor a few weeks ago and got herself a sperm donor so she could have a kid now. But what happened to Blake?"
"Um...me." Sun presented himself. "Everyone was doing it."
"Don't speak for everyone." Neptune held a hand up.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Sun said. "But that's only because you don't have a girlfriend right now."
"No, you're right." Neptune said. "I don't need a girlfriend."
"Wait…" Jaune was confused.
"Gay!" Sun claimed.
"I'm not gay." Neptune said. "I'm no different than Weiss and Yang, both of which I've slept with plenty."
"I'm pretty sure we've all slept with Yang." Sage laughed. Tai spat out his drink.
"I haven't." Jaune said. "Apparently I'm the only one not related to her that she hasn't slept with." Everyone looked at Ren.
"It was Nora's idea." He said defensively.
"Dude, literally none of us can judge." Sun said.
"I can!" Tai said angrily.
"Also, not for lack of trying on her part." Jaune noted.
"Figured." Sun said.
"By the way Tai, I thought you knew." Jaune said.
"I knew she's slept around but I didn't know they'd all be gathered here." Tai said.
"Believe me, this isn't all of them." Sun said.
"That doesn't make it better!" Tai yelled. Citrine started laughing in his arms. "What, you like that."
"That is not a good sign." Jaune sighed. "Probably because Ruby and I aren't scary when we're angry."
"You two do look goofy when you get angry." Sun said.
"Well can we at least not talk about my daughters' sex lives?" Tai asked.
"Sure thing." Sun said.
"So...you and Blake having a kid?" Jaune asked.
"Yep. She's only a few weeks along." Sun said.
"Has she um...had any cravings?" Jaune asked.
"Nothing too strange. Why do you ask?" Sun said.
"Well...I've heard stories. I've seen things with Ruby. I've been told a lot about Blake….I worry about you man."
"I don't really know what you're talking about...but I'd rather it be a surprise." Sun said.
"Well...it'll be fun so long as you're eager." Jaune said half sarcastically, half seriously.
"Well, I say we start playing a super cool party game." Sun said.
"Oh boy." Jaune swallowed. "What'll it be?" The possibilities washed by. Shots? Jaune was fine getting drunk but wanted to wait for Rubrum. Darts? But there was no dart board. Arm wrestling? That could be interesting but Sage would probably cheat.
"Kung-Fu Ultimate Ninja Death Battle!" Sun cheered.
"I don't know what I was expecting." Jaune said with a facepalm. "I almost forgot that you're the cool one who acts like a dork."
"Pop it in." Sun commanded.
"Alright." Ren said. Neptune, Sun and Jaune joined him on the couch. Nephrite climbed up into Ren's lap as the game was set up.
"Two on two. JNPR vs. SSSN." Sun said. "Then whenever Rubrum gets here we can do Patch vs. Mistral."
Jaune picked his character and started playing. He was pretty good at this game. Ruby loved it and showed him all the moves. Sun was a dirty cheater though and used his tail to get an edge. Luckily Neptune was quite possibly the worst player Jaune had ever seen. Ren was pretty good too so in this scenario, Jaune and Ren won.
"Yes!" Jaune cheered. As he did, Rubrum entered the room.
"Sorry I'm late." Rubrum said as he took his goggles off. "Penny and I ran into...problems on the way to Vale."
"No problem." Jaune said. "Ren and I just beat these two dorks in this game."
"Sweet." Rubrum said.
"How did you beat us?" Sun asked.
"The bedroom isn't the only place where Ruby's taught me some moves." Jaune blurted out, earning a glare from Tai and a blush from Rubrum. "God...damn it I said that outloud."
"Yeah...you did."
Things were awkward with Tai for the rest of the night. Jaune didn't care because he got quite the buzz from all the alcohol he consumed. By the end of the night, Ren was passed out in the guest bed with Nephrite. Citrine was sleeping soundly in her crib. Tai was sprawled out on the couch. Team SSSN were all crowded in Ruby and Jaune's bed. Jaune stole Neptune's sleeping bag and slept at the foot of Citrine's crib. Rubrum had brought his own sleeping arrangements, a hammock he strung up from the ceiling.
The girls were all staying the night at Weiss' Vale Suite. The odd thought of that RWBY orgy Yang always talked about sprung to Jaune's mind. That could be interesting fap material if Jaune could picture it. That was difficult though because Blake was one girl Jaune had seldom seen in something immodest, let alone naked. Oh well.
Jaune would have to thank the guys in the morning. They were the closest thing he had to brothers. He didn't fail to notice that no one on his side of the family showed up. He'd have to deal with them at the wedding but knowing them they'd be no trouble-for no other reason than to be polite.
And so Jaune found rest in the sweet imaginations of his mind. It was certainly a start. Just one more week until he'd be officially married. That was a pleasant thought. Pleasant enough to help him sleep.
AN: That's a wrap for this chapter. Next time is the wedding. Nothing much else to say except thank you to all the people who have tolerated this story. It's blown up quite a bit but not to the extent of Just Act Casually. I guess sequels are never as good and this one doesn't have as strong of a hook in the first chapter (that's just my take). Just two chapters left.
