Regina


She had fucked up.

Badly.

And a lot in the last few days. She had fucked up badly a lot in the last few days and in stupid and avoidable ways.

God. She swore at herself yet again. She knew she had fucked up the moment she saw Emma's face during the recital. No, she had known it the moment she woke, bewildered and in agonizing pain on the dusty stone floor of her vault – pain so bas that she hadn't been able to move for an hour or more.

She had fucked up and now Emma hadn't come home. She couldn't even blame her.

She didn't know what she was thinking! Had the liquor gone too quickly to her head? Why had she behaved that way? She had been a bitch all day, a bitchy dramatic child for a few days now, actually. Why?

God, she had been so cold to Emma after her Craft had been released. Yes, she had been feeling defensive because of her stupid mistake but why? That was no reason to treat the person she loved so coldly. So why?

But she knew the answer to that and she knew it very well.

It was the day. It had been pulling on her for days now, building and smothering her. It was making her irritable, it was making her crazy ever since she had stood in front of the mirror and made that small ball of witchfire.

It had not been wise for her to go to her vault at all. She had just been trying to relieve the pressure but - it was a dumb thing to do. She shouldn't have done it. Not this close to Beltane. All of the sabbats were hard, her Craft pounding on her inner barriers and demanding that she sing and dance and praise and give thanks, but Beltane - Beltane and Samhain - they were almost impossible to get through. As a matter of fact, if she and Emma had been paying attention, they would have been prepared: a vigorous workout or perhaps a trip to the beach, something to connect her with nature or work the energy out of her. That was their family routine. But - they had a house guest. They had been distracted and suddenly it was here.

And she was behaving like a cranky child.

Or who knew, maybe this was all an excuse for her weakness, her pathetic weakness. She didn't know. She didn't know, but god she had fucked up.

She knew that Emma was mad about Mal's comment and as soon as Emma came home she would explain. She knew Mal. She knew her so well. She knew she hadn't meant any harm. If she had been pointing out anything it was simply the irony of the situation. Mal would never judge her son. Mal wouldn't care if Ollie wore a tutu or jeans or lederhosen.

What Regina was angry with herself about was everything before that. She had been acting as though she were Henry's age.

She was not Henry's age.

She was Henry's mother.

Ugh, she groaned and flopped on the couch again. Henry! She had behaved that way in front of young and so very impressionable Henry! How could she teach him respect when she behaved as she had? How could she teach him about control and steadying yourself?

Thank god that Ollie didn't know how she had behaved.

"Seriously. You need to relax, dear." Mal sighed from behind her.

Regina just groaned again, rubbing her temples. She was annoyed with Mal at the moment too. Mal didn't understand why Regina was upset, not at all, and how could she blame her? Mal had never been accountable to anyone in her life. If anyone knew that it was Regina. Mal had never skipped a sabbat in her life.

Ugh! Regina hated this day - and the following.

Okay, it wasn't just the day. Mal had always been bitchier, ruder, more aggressive with her Craft.

Her skin gave a particularly sharp crackle and she rolled over, wondering how it was that Emma always dealt with this so well. She had let it out. Shouldn't it feel better?

"Look, love," Mal began dryly, "I think maybe you both could use a night out."

"What?" It seemed so random that Regina was having a hard time following.

"Why don't you text message Miss AngryWhinyWifey-poo and tell her to go out with the school teacher and you and I can go out ourselves?"

"Mal. I have children. I can't just go out. Also, going out tonight seems like something of a bad idea. Also, talk about my wife in that way again and I will set your hair on fire."

Mal scoffed so Regina flexed and Mal's hair began to smoke. She yelped. "Fine! God damn, woman."

Regina ignored her.

"Anyway, sixteen is old enough to watch the other two."

Regina glared.

"I can do it, Mom! Mal's right. You never go out anymore."

Henry had been playing his video game so Regina had assumed that he was deaf to the world as usual. Now he twisted around in his chair, his face eager to help.

"Yes, Regina. Let the boy show you his stuff. Besides, we haven't done anything fun since I arrived and I'm sure I'll have to be leaving soon. Come on, let's go back in time."

"Yeah, Mom. Go have fun with Mal. Don't be a bad hostess."

"Henry," Regina began, not even sure how to point out all of the things that were wrong with this idea.

"Come on. I know CPR, I know how to dial 911, I know to go to the neighbor's if something happens and I know how to call both you and Mom."

"See, Pollyanna, he's a natural. Live a little. Come on, you know Emma is out somewhere celebrating. Why not do a little yourself?"

Emma celebrating? Somehow she doubted it.

They would have celebrated. Together. But alone. She doubted it.

Mal cleared her throat. At the sight of those hooded grey eyes whispering, taunting, Regina could feel her belligerent need not to let a challenge fall.

"Besides, if you go after Bonnie is in bed then it will really be no big deal." he said, back to his video game.

That did - sound reasonable.

"Come now, Regina. He is clearly capable. Here." Her phone appeared in her hand. "Text Emma."

Regina debated with herself. She opened her phone and saw that Mal had already crafted a message to Emma. "Hey babe, I was thinking about it and I think we both could use a little fun, perhaps blow off some steam. Why don't you go out somewhere tonight with M.M.? No need to rush home." All Regina had to do was press send. So like Maleficent, always so good at making trouble so easy.

"Mom." Henry groaned, pausing his game – something that was unheard of once he sat down. "I can handle this."

"All right. Okay." She clicked send. "Okay."


Regina had been bitterly surprised earlier in the evening to learn that Emma had already planned on going out, insisting that she 'just needed some time to cool down' and that she wouldn't be out late.

The harsh rudeness had struck her poorly. She understood - she hadn't been the nicest to be around over the last few days, but was this really how Emma was going to behave? Tonight of all nights?

Her surprise had made it easier to make plans with Mal. If they could figure out any plans that is. Thus far they had only made it as far as the front lawn.

"Well, I assume we can't go to the only bar in town, as that is probably where Emma is. So where shall we go on this holiest of nights? Surely there are more people who celebrate in this godforsaken town. Where are the bonfires? Oh please tell me there is skinny dipping in the bay."

Regina opened her mouth to give a suggestion but was baffled. Where was there to go? Where did she and Emma go when they wanted to have fun besides The Rabbit Hole? Especially on a night like this. There had to be something happening in town. Did Jefferson still hold his annual gathering? Where did Gold go?

It was startling to realize she didn't know.

Mal was staring at her with an amused look on her face, her arms crossing over her chest. "You don't know."

Regina scowled, glaring at the accusing tone.

"You old lady granny, you don't know where to go, do you?"

"Shut up, I uh, I'm just trying to think of something nearby in case the kids need me."

"Ummhmm. Lucy is asleep, so any worrying you are doing is pointless."

"Lucy?"

"What?" Mal snapped, her attention on Regina fully.

"Bonnie. My daughter's name is Bonnie."

"That's what I said. They're asleep so -" With a small pop, a tiny clutch appeared out of thin air and Mal opened it. Regina recognized the purse instantly, her eyes widening with ...envy? "Something really knocked the fun out of you, didn't it, Regina? Was it marriage? Or could it be Emma specifically?"

"Fuck off, Mal. What is with you two? I thought you were friends. Did something happen that I don't know about?"

Mal's innocently blank face told her that something had, but before she could say more Mal popped open her tiny Ziploc and pulled one white and one tan pill out. "Would you like one, Regina? I imagine they will go quite nicely with - well - wherever we are going."

Regina opened her mouth to snap her response but the words got caught in her throat. Would she like one? Yes. Of course, she would. So much so that it scared her. That little bit of freedom - letting herself fly high and free - yes, everyone wanted that. Could she have one? No. And Mal knew that. The last few times she had taken one… well, everyone said that your body reacted differently as you grew older. She had scared even Mal. So she settled on glaring at Mal until she shrugged and the clutch disappeared. "I'll see you on the other side then, dear." She swallowed the pills with ease and then crossed her arms, waiting.

Regina's hands balled and relaxed, balled and relaxed, but she had no suggestions.

Finally, Mal spoke again, "So." She lit a cigarette and Regina began to see a soft, deep dusky purple-brown glowing around her irises. The color was much deeper than it had been when they were girls but nevertheless, it expressed the same feeling.

Regina's insides began to ache with longing.

Mal chuckled, leaning so that her deep full lips were too close. It was the closest they had been thus far and Regina - she wasn't sure she was okay with it. Her breath hitched, her heart picked up a beat and, much to her horror, her lower belly clenched tight. She bit her lip. "Jealous, Regina?"

"What?" She blinked, trying to clear her head. She would have none of that.

Mal's eyes slowly slid down her body, making all of the color Regina could muster splash across her cheeks in a hot, embarrassed wash.

"What?" she asked again, her voice shallow. She looked down, following Mal's eyes and found her hands were glowing their own personal shade of vibrant purple. She groaned and clenched her fist, stifling the glow. "Of course I'm envious, Mal. Now can you be helpful and join me in coming up with a plan for this evening or shall I just go inside and change into my pajamas?"

Mal's eyebrow rose, "Well, tell me. You were the mayor of this town. You have lived here for quite a while now. Where is there to go?"

For a moment, Regina considered transporting Mal to the floor of the bay.

They stood for another moment, Regina wracking her brain.

"My god." Mal groaned. "Fine. If you have nowhere you would like to go then I suppose I will take you to my little haunt. There should be something good brewing there right about now."

Regina stared blankly. Was she supposed to know what that meant?

Mal's eyes glittered and suddenly Regina remembered. "Mal, no!"

But it was too late. The cloud of mauve had surrounded them and they were gone.