A/N Thankyou, CovenantGirlLoki for this idea. I changed it slightly but thanks for the inspiration. Sorry for the very long wait, complain all you want in the reviews, I don't mind – opinions are welcome. I AM working on this, I haven't forgotten this, I swear. I don't forget my stories, which is why I've also been working on my other stories, which is why this is long overdue. This chapter contains Clintasha and FrostIron!

Remember that I'm always taking requests by the way – although I already have an idea for the next chapter, I could do with ideas for chapters in the future.

Chapter Twelve

Clint: Hey, Nat?

Natasha: ?

Clint: If you were a new burger at McDonald's they'd call you a McGoregous.

Natasha: what

Clint: No?

Clint: How about - can I take your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Natasha: . . .

Clint: . . .

Clint: Baby, you must be a broom, because you sweep me off my feet.

Natasha: Are these supposed to be pick-up lines

Clint: Are you wearing space pants, because your butt is outta this world.

Natasha: Are these supposed to be working

Clint: Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your real name Gertrude?

Natasha: That's terrible

Clint: Do you like water?

Natasha: Yes . . .

Clint: Good, then you already like 70% of me.

Natasha: Clint, look, we've been over this. I'm not ready for a relationship. It's . . . sweet that you're trying but you're only going to be disappointed.

Clint: I get it.

Clint: Oh god Nat – there's something wrong with my eyes!

Natasha: What?!

Clint: I just can't take them off you!

Natasha: Really

Clint: Are you Google because you're everything I'm searching for.

Natasha: Don't make me feel worse about this, Clint.

Clint: Is your name Katniss, because you're starting an uprising in my district

Natasha: I could punch you for that

Clint: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first

Clint: If you were a tree I'd be a tree-hugger

Clint: Did you just fart because you blew me away

Natasha: . . .

Natasha: . . .

Natasha: You cannot win me over with cheesy, God-awful pick-up lines.

Clint: How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in the room?

Natasha: . . .I'm debriefing with Nick Fury and Agent Coulson.

Natasha: . . . I'm the only girl in the room.

Clint: . . .

Clint: If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Natasha: Enough, Clint.

Clint: . . .

Clint: Do you have any raisins?

Natasha: No.

Clint: How about a date?

Natasha: No.

Clint: Wow, rejected, ok.

Clint: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together!

Natasha: . . . If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put F and U together

Clint: . . .

Natasha: . . .

Clint: Do you believe in first sight or should I walk by again?

Natasha: Talk to me once you have regained the maturity and intelligence of someone your age.

Clint: Wait, Nat!

Natasha: . . .

Clint: If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought!

Natasha: Goodbye

Clint: My love for you is like diarrhoea . . . I just can't hold it in much longer.

Clint: . . .

Clint: Nat

Clint: Nat?

Clint: . . .

Clint: Oh my freaking God, Nat, I am so sorry, Tony got a hold of my phone, oh my god I will kill him, that wasn't me Nat, I'm sorry, it was Tony, he's still trying to set us up, please come back.

Tony: Don't try to blame Natasha's rejection on me

Clint: STARK I WILL KILL YOU

Tony: Nuh-uh, I'm safe in my lab now.

Tony: Safe as in you can't get in so don't even try.

Clint: STARK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Clint: Natasha probably HATES me now.

Tony: I guess I'm sorry, because my original intent was to bring you two together.

Clint: I'm screen shotting this so I have proof that it was you.

Clint: And what do you mean by "original" intent?

Tony: I had fun with those pick-up lines. I got carried away. It had a happy ending though, don't you think?

Clint: . . .

Clint: STARK I AM GOING TO SMASH MY WAY INTO YOUR LAB AND STRANGLE YOU WITH MY BOW AND THEN DO THINGS TO YOU THAT WILL BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES, BEGGING FOR ME TO END YOUR PAIN AND TORMENT VIA DEATH

Tony: . . .

Tony: Well, it made me happy.


Natasha: Stark, care to explain yesterday's . . . shenanigan?

Tony: So you and Clint talked things over? Good, good. So are you two going out yet or no

Natasha: . . . you have five seconds to explain

Tony: Oh, do I now?

Natasha: They call me Black Widow for a reason.

Natasha: Right now I'm thinking of thirty-one ways to kill you.

Natasha: With a tissue.

Tony: So, what, death by paper-cut?

Natasha: Five seconds Stark.

Tony: Ok, so Clint left his phone, I found it, I hacked into it for fun and then I thought that maybe I could get you to go out with him because there's some obvious sexual tension thing going on between you two and I thought I'd help out, but then I got carried away with those hilarious pick-up lines. We cool?

Natasha: Yes, hilarious.

Natasha: Clint told me all that, but I just wanted to make sure. Yes, we're cool . . . for now. Also, what about the obvious sexual tension between you and Loki?

Tony: Loki tried to take over Earth, how could I be attracted to him?

Natasha: That was two years ago, and now Thor's sorted him out and he's on our side. You know that, unless you've been living under a rock for these past two years.

Natasha: Also, you're losing your touch.

Tony: I thought this was about you and Clint. Also, what

Natasha: Your pining is obvious.

Tony: My pining . . .

Natasha: For Loki

Tony: . . . So are you and Clint a couple now?

Natasha: Don't think we're finished here.

Natasha: I'm going to talk to Loki.

Natasha: . . .

Natasha: Also, yes, Clint and I are a couple now.

Tony: Knew it!

Natasha: Stop waving your ego around, it had nothing to do with you.

Tony: Eh, whatever helps you sleep at night :D

Natasha: The same goes for you when you deny pining for Loki.

Tony: Ooh burn.

Tony: I need some ice that was such a burn.

Tony: . . .

Tony: Ok, sure, even I admit that was hardly up to my usual standards of wit, but that doesn't mean you can just leaf!

Tony: *leave

Natasha: *comes back* No, no actually I'm leaving *leafs*

Tony: You're making fun of me

Tony: . . .

Tony: :(


Natasha: Loki?

Loki: This is he.

Natasha: Right. So, Tony likes you.

Loki: That much is obvious.

Natasha: Seriously? You know? Soooo do you like him?

Loki: . . . not particularly.

Natasha: I feel you

Loki: What? I thought you were courting Barton!

Natasha: I wasn't . . . I was just saying that I understood how . . . never mind.

Natasha: So, you don't like him? Even as a friend?

Loki: If by friend you mean someone I put up with, then yes I do actually.

Natasha: But do you, you know, have feelings for him?

Loki: I think we just established that

Natasha: I mean GOOD feelings like you LOVE him type feelings.

Loki: He is insufferable.

Natasha: . . .

Loki: His ego fills every nook and cranny of the tower.

Natasha: . . .

Loki: He thinks himself among our ranks, because he is admittedly the most handsome mortal I have come across.

Natasha: . . .

Loki: Just because he is stunning, does not make him a God.

Natasha: . . .

Loki: I mean, I have better hair than he.

Natasha: . . .

Loki: I am nicknamed Silvertongue because of my easy lies and smooth wit, and yet this mortal leaves me tongue-tied, lost for words.

Natasha: . . .

Loki: He is aggravating in every way. The way he teases me, openly ogles my body, openly flaunts his own in a way that I can't help but stare, and the way that he is nothing but a scruffy mortal and yet . . .

Natasha: It's a love/hate relationship with you guys, I get it! Please, I get enough fanboying from Tony about you, so just stop right there.

Natasha: There is obviously A LOT of Sexual Tension between you two, why don't you just go out already? (Now I can understand how Tony felt about Clint and I)

Loki: Why

Natasha: . . . because you two obviously love each other?

Loki: No, why would you capitalize "sexual tension".

Natasha: Because it's an official thing, there's that much Sexual Tension between you and Tony.

Loki: And how would one relieve this . . . sexual tension.

Natasha: Derp make out already. With Tony. I'd put money on him pining away for you in his lab right about now. So go.

Loki: Mortal, you cannot just order me around.

Natasha: Radi boga seksual'noye napryazheniye mezhdu vami takoy gustoy ya, veroyatno, ne smozhet rezat' nozhom, I vy znayete, kak ya s nozhome! Tak chto poluchit' prikaldom tam ili da pomozhet mne!

Loki: Fine, mortal, but just this once.

Natasha: Wait you speak Russian

Loki: I have the All-tongue. I speak any language. Now I must go and woo the man of iron.

Natasha: I wish you luck (you won't need it, trust me).


Tony: Can I just say . . . wow? Loki really knows his stuff.

Clint: Tony, I'm happy for you, I really am, but I don't need any details.

Tony: But –

Clint: None.

Clint: None at all. Please.

Tony: Fine. The sex was awesome, that's all I feel like sharing with you anyways. So, how are you and Nat?

Clint: Awesome.

Tony: So things worked out in the end, didn't they?

Clint: How do you mean?

Tony: You and Nat are a couple and so are Loki and I.

Tony: All because of me. Flirting with Nat for you.

Clint: That was so not flirting. And Nat's the reason you and Loki are together, or else you'd be pining away for another six months.

Tony: I DO NOT PINE!

Tony: New house rule: Don't accuse Tony of pining.

Clint: New house rule?

Tony: It comes under "we do not throw pop-tarts out the window in hopes of seeing Thor jump out after them".

Clint: I mean, since when do we have house rules?

Tony: Since Pepper told us off for throwing pop-tarts out the window in hopes of seeing Thor jump out after them.

Clint: Ok, here's one: If we are in a gay relationship we do not go into detail of said relationship with straight people.

Tony: Clint, I make the rules.

Clint: What? That's not –

Tony: My tower.

Clint: I used to kill people for a living. I should get to make some rules.

Tony: Not unless you want me to have Jarvis post kinky footage of you and Nat having sex on the Internet.

Clint: YOU HAVE FOOTAGE OF WHAT?!

Tony: So, yeah, happy ending.