Katniss wakes with a start and screams, sitting bolt upright on the cot. Looking around she can tell that she is in a hovercraft and Haymitch, Finnick, and Gale all share the same look of concern. She cannot place it, it's different than she has ever seen before, and it doesn't offer her the least bit of reassurance. In fact, it makes her more hesitant and afraid than ever.
Finnick reaches out a reassuring hand and rubs her shoulder. "I get them too. But it's okay, you're here with us, and you're safe now." His eyes say what his voice cannot. That something is very very wrong.
"Where's Peeta?" Katniss asks Haymitch directly.
He sighs heavily before replying, "He's in the medical part of the hovercraft."
"What ha-hap-happened?" she chokes out.
"Well," starts Gale. "We did get you out of the Capitol, but something is wrong with Peeta-" she tries to talk but he silences her dismissively. "We don't know what's wrong but he keeps screaming things…" he looks cautiously at Finnick and Haymitch before finishing rapidly, "Things I don't feel comfortable repeating."
"What things?" she can barely keep herself together.
"We don't know what they did to him," says Finnick regretfully, "but there's an awful lot of obscenities in relation to you…" he takes a deep breath, "Katniss, I'm going to say this slowly so you don't miss anything. He came to before you did...if Gale hadn't tackled him to the ground...he may very well have killed you."
"What?" the disbelief in her voice is palpable. "No. That's not possible."
Just then, Plutarch emerges from the rear of the hovercraft. Noticing Katniss he stops briefly, taking in the atmosphere, and then walks over to where she is and sits in the seat across from her. "Katniss." He swallows audibly, "this is going to be hard for you to hear-"
"I want to see him," she mumbles.
"I don't think that's the best idea right now," Plutarch cautions. "Snow did something to him in the Capitol, and until we know more about it, none of us feel comfortable enough for you - especially in your current condition - to be anywhere remotely near Peeta." She squeaks. "Katniss, you and the baby are what's most important now, and you know that is exactly what Peeta would be telling you right now if he were in his right mind."
She nods. It's true. That is exactly what Peeta would be telling her. "I still want to see him…" the plea doesn't go unnoticed by the group and with much trepidation, and the fact that none of them can bare the look on her face or the tears in her eyes, they agree to let her see him through the glass wall. Remembering the last time this happened Katniss immediately breaks into tears. It was after their first Games and the doctors were trying to save him, but she was still so hyped up on how she had to protect him that she didn't realize what they were actually trying to do...save him. The feeling is surrounded by an even greater fear now than the last time.
"Maybe when we get back," says Haymitch warily.
"Back to 12?" she looks around at the group but no one speaks. "Back home? Are we going back to 12?"
"Now's probably not a good-" Finnick says slowly sharing concerned looks with the group.
"She should know," interrupts Gale. "There is no District 12."
Katniss's face contorts in horror. No 12? The idea seems completely impossible to her. "What?" she looks intently at Haymitch, pleading with him to disprove this fact, except he frowns, his eyebrows furrow and he sighs. "Haymitch? What does he mean there's no 12? What happened?" Tears are pouring from her eyes now. "What happened to 12?" she shouts when no one has answered her.
"After you shot that arrow into the force field…" says Haymitch cautiously.
"The Capitol was upon us so quickly there was hardly time to react," continues Gale. "They started dropping firebombs. There's nothing left of District 12, but Victor's Village, for whatever reason, was spared. Everything else has been completely decimated."
"Everything?" her mind floats immediately to the town, to the Mellark's, to Madge. Everyone nods. "Nothing is left?" Starting with Haymitch everyone slowly shakes their head. "I don't believe you," she says finally.
"It looks just like 13 does in all of those videos we watch every year," says Gale callously. "There's nothing left Katniss."
"How many people survived?" her grasp on reality is slipping.
"Only about eight hundred," Gale huffs. "That's all I could convince to follow me to the meadow. No one else would come, and there wasn't time enough to make it to the town, and even if I had gone, there would have been no point."
"I don't believe you," she reiterates even more quietly than the last time.
"Katniss…" Haymitch reaches out a hand and places it on her shoulder.
"I don't believe you," she inhales sharply before being kicked in the ribs and forcibly exhaling. "Ow!" rubbing the side of her stomach where the kick originated she says softly, "I don't know what to do sweetheart. I don't know what to do." Looking at all of the frantic faces she suddenly realizes that she has no idea where they are going, "Where do we live now?" Haymitch explains they they live in District 13 now, that is was never actually obliterated like the videos and the President were always saying. District 12 might be no more, but at least they wouldn't be completely homeless. After a moment of silence Katniss speaks her wish again, "I want to see Peeta."
"Katniss that's really not a-" Finnick objects.
"Oh, what's the harm?" asks Gale.
Katniss perplexed by his sudden acceptance of her relationship with Peeta, looks at him puzzled. "What is the harm?" she makes direct eye contact with Haymitch, but he doesn't answer. "What aren't you telling me? You owe me that much Haymitch. You owe me the truth."
"Katniss…"
"No!" she stands a little too quickly and rocks back and forth feeling suddenly lightheaded, "I want to know what is going on, and someone better tell me before I kill everyone on this hovercraft!"
"You being pregnant...that's not very threatening," says Gale mockingly.
Her anger, rising so steadily until this point, overflowed it's metaphorical banks. "I want to see Peeta!" the scream was so loud and so shocking that Haymitch recoils as if burnt with a hot iron.
"Oh my god!" comes a voice towards the back of the hovercraft. The voice is Johanna Mason's and she glares at the three men. "She's not going to rest until you let her see him, so just let her see him. Put the rest of us out of our misery hearing her complain and scream because no one is doing a damn thing. Just let her see him. God!" The group stares at her speechless. "Hey, you're the idiots, don't look at me like that."
"We don't think it's a good idea," says Haymitch. "It's not that we don't want her to see him, we just don't think now is the best time." Johanna folds her arms over her chest and her glare at Haymitch intensifies. "Why are you so sure she should see him?"
"The 'what if's' are what kills you," she states matter-of-factly. "Those are the worst. If he's as messed up as you're all saying, let her see that for herself. Trust me, not knowing is a whole lot worse than having the truth withheld from you. When the truth is withheld the what if's of the situation take over and you start to lose your mind." When Haymitch doesn't cave she grumbles, "or are we the exclusion on regrets, Haymitch? You lost your girl and your family because of what you did in the Games, imagine if you were in her shoes."
"It was her actions that brought this on," interjects Gale. "It all happened because she shot an arrow at the force field."
"No," Katniss shakes her head. "It started with the berries. Everything that has happened since then, is my fault. If I'd just eaten the berries and died, like I was supposed to, none of this would have happened. Peeta could have lived just fine on his own." The moment on the beach stops her thought in it's tracks, neither of them, would be whole without the other, however much she tried to ignore that fact.
"You don't know what they would have done to him in the Capitol, if he'd won, Katniss," Finnick shakes his head. "He might have gotten the same treatment as me...or worse, and I know you well enough to know you could not deal with the worse." Standing he walks over to Katniss, grabs her hand, and forces her to sit beside him in the seats. "Trust me. You probably saved his life in more than one way with those berries."
Katniss looks at him puzzled but turns instead to face Haymitch, "Please, please let me see him. I don't want to beg, but if that's what it takes, I'm ready to beg. Please Haymitch...take me to see Peeta."
"It's not a goo-" Gale is waved off as Haymitch interrupts.
"It's against my better judgment," he states, "but I will allow you, as long as you do everything that I say. Not a word, not a toe out of line, you hear me?" She nods so strongly that her head moves around like a bobblehead doll from years ago.
"Anything, anything you tell me to do, I will do," she gets to her feet and faces Finnick. "Will you come with me?" Finnick nods and gets to his feet beside her. "Lead the way Haymitch," she nods in the direction in front of her. Haymitch slowly gets to his feet and leads her through to another part of the hovercraft - that she'd never actually seen before - when she hears another set of footsteps behind her she stops and turns to face Gale as he nearly runs into her. "Where do you think you're going?"
"With you," he glances at Haymitch and Finnick before looking back at her.
"I told Finnick to come," she glares up at him. "I did not ask you to come."
"We don't know what he's capable of," Gale flexes his jaw. "So I'm going, whether you like it or not."
"Not," she shoves him back with as much force as she can muster. "Just stay here Gale." Turning she starts to follow Haymitch but yet again hears footsteps behind her, "No!" she spins around holding her belly as the motion messes with her center of gravity, "I said no. Please, just stay here!"
"Katniss-" he extends his hand forward to hers.
"No," she shakes her head as tears stream down her face as her hormones and the traumas of the day hit her. "Please-plea-pleaseee, ju-just st-stay, heeere," her hand flies up to cover her mouth and she shakes her head profusely before angrily wiping the tears from her cheeks. Taking a deep breath and clearing her throat she reiterates, "please stay here."
"Okay," says Gale slowly sitting back down. He wasn't about to argue with a crying woman, even though that was all he wanted to do. She had no right to shove him out like that. Sure, he'd never been Peeta's biggest fan but - no, forget that. It was probably best he stayed behind after all.
"Thank you," she breathes out, weary from the arena, exhausted and sore. Trying to ignore the looks of caution from the surrounding men, and failing miserably, she starts to become acutely aware that what is happening is not what should be happening...and that quite possibly, what is happening is about to break her heart into thousands of pieces.
"Alright," Finnick grabs her hand and pulls her towards the back of the hovercraft. "It's best you try to prepare yourself for whatever is about to happen-"
"It's going to be bad isn't it?" the question is directed at Haymitch.
"Sweetheart," he sighs heavily, "if I could protect you both from every evil of this world, I'd do it. You don't deserve this. Peeta doesn't deserve this. It's a damn miracle you both made it out of the arena - and the Capitol. Why Snow kept you alive, I have no idea. All he's been doing is trying to discredit you and make the rebels think that they couldn't win because you were playing for the other side." Katniss' blank stare prompts him to come forward and places his hands on her shoulders. "I don't think there is a way to prepare you for this."
"Truth," she sniffles, "I can work with that."
Slowly. Cautiously. Begrudgingly. Finnick and Haymitch lead Katniss towards the room where they have been keeping Peeta. Haymitch stops and looks to her pleadingly, "Please just think about-"
"No more Haymitch," she shakes her head and shoves him from in front of her. A doctor emerges from the doorway. "I would like to see him."
The doctor casts a furtive glance to Haymitch and Finnick before shaking his head, "I can't condone that. Especially not in your current condition," he gestures to her. "I don't think it would be wise, and certainly not prudent...which I told these two here." Katniss straightens her posture, crosses her arms, and glares at the doctor. With much vacillation the doctor moves out of her way. "I really caution you. I cannot support this decision. Anything that happens from this moment on is neither my fault, nor my responsibility, is that understood?" She nods in a silent agreement. "I need you to say it, Katniss."
"Anything that happens isn't your fault," she says wryly.
"Then you may go in," defeated and irritated the doctor punches a code into the keypad and the door slides open.
Peeta is strapped to a bed, his arms and legs tied to the ends. One glance at Katniss and his reaction is immediate, he begins to scream at her, accuse her, belittle her, of the things he screams only one has the desired effect. "I should never have given you that bread. Sure would have saved myself a lot of trouble if I hadn't."
Katniss, who up to this point, had maintained some sort of decorum despite the insults, finally reached the breaking point. The bread. Their one moment of real connection. The one thing that had cemented in her mind all those years ago that he was someone that could be trusted, and in a few brief seconds, it was all ripped from her. Whatever Snow had done to her, he sure did a good job of projecting her own insecurities about herself into Peeta's mind. For now, the Peeta she knew was not the Peeta she saw, and the Peeta she saw was breaking her heart in a way the real Peeta never would.
Turning on her heel she exits the room. Haymitch and Finnick follow closely behind. The doctor is there waiting with a box of tissues and a chart. "What happened to Peeta is a newer form of torture. I've only seen it one other time - when I worked for the Capitol, before I fled - and I've got to say, this is more advanced than even the case I saw there."
"What happened to him?" Katniss snatches the box of tissues from the doctor and pulls one out to meet the tears already flowing from her eyes.
"It's called hijacking," he begins slowly, weighing the situation before continuing. "It's a type of fear conditioning. This is helped by the venom from tracker jackers. You were stung before, I'm sure you can remember what it felt like." Katniss's head bobs slightly. "Essentially, what is done is a memory is called back, either by a video of some kind - and the Capitol has ready access to your entire relationship - and it is infused with the venom."
"To make it scary?" voices Finnick.
"Life threatening even, yes."
"Is that what Snow did to Peeta?" huffs Haymitch.
"Yes," agrees the doctor. "That much we have been able to gather. Most of his other memories seem to be well intact. It is only his memories of you that seem to be affected by the venom. It's fear conditioning...to create a fear of something, you have to change the sentiment of the memory, of the person. If you can take moments with someone and infuse them with fear, it is quite easy to change the fear of the thing itself. We're hardwired to remember fear best...that's why this is such an effective method, because it penetrates your normal cognizance to the inner layer, the one that believes there's good in everyone. It takes the heart out of the equation, removes any positive emotions and inflicts mental distrust and enfuses vulnerability. And fear. It creates a strong sense of fear, irrationally petrified. You've come to accept these changes as reality, and that's why it works so well, it changes what's real to a person."
"You sound like you admire Snow," Katniss says brusquely.
"Not at all," says the doctor thoughtfully. "The method itself is what is admirable. I've never much liked it, but I've seen what it can do. It's very effective. It garnishes the exact desired effect on the person. Once you've hijacked someone, you can convince them that their own mother is their worst enemy, and then they would be hell-bent on taking that person out. Remove the threat, remove the fear. The process's result is ingenious, but it's effect is long-lasting."
"So he's always going to wish I were dead?" she yanks another tissue from the box as tears begin to fall more profusely from her eyes.
"When did he say that?" questions Finnick.
"The bread comment," she hiccups and then continues, "if he hadn't given me that bread...my mother, Prim, and I would have died six years ago. Peeta saved my life before we saved each other in the arena. He saved me at a time when no one else would. I was replaceable to everyone...everyone but Peeta. He saved my life with that bread."
"Oh," there's a collective sigh of guilt around the group.
"So exactly how long is he going to hate me?" mutters Katniss through gritted teeth.
"I don't know yet," pauses the Doctor, "what his level of hijacking is. Once I've determined that, I should be able to ascertain a course of action to reversing the venoms influence on him. But I won't know until we get back to District 13 exactly what I'm dealing with."
"So possibly never?"
"Not the kind of attitude I was hoping for…" says the doctor slowly as he turns to Haymitch, casting a surreptitious glance. "I'll let you know as soon as I know more."
"Thank you doctor," requites Haymitch.
The doctor leaves the room and Katniss walks past the duo, back to where they'd been before, sits down, curls into a ball and begins to cry - somewhat violently - until she falls asleep. "Should we wake her?" wonders Gale aloud.
"No," Johanna shakes her head. "Trust me. Let her sleep."
"Okay," says Haymitch and Finnick and Gale nod. She had spent several weeks in a cell with Katniss. If anyone knew to let her sleep, it was Johanna. And sleep she did. It wasn't until the next day that she woke up in District 13, alone and hurting in the hospital wing.
"What's this?" she asks an attending nurse.
"Let me go get your mother," she pats Katniss' shoulder reassuringly and leaves the room.
A few brief moments later Katniss' mother enters the room and sits on the bed beside Katniss.
"Why am I in the hospital?" she questions her.
"We need to monitor you…"
"Why?" horror crossing her countenance.
"The baby's heart rate has been fluctuating…" Mrs. Everdeen takes a deep breath.
"What?" tears pour from her eyes and she throws her arms over her stomach protectively. "This can't be happening!"
"Katniss," her mother takes hold of one of her hands. "It's not fatal. We just need to monitor you and the baby. Just take a deep breath. If there ever is anything to worry about, I will be the first person to tell you. For now, just get some rest."
"How's Peeta?" she asks but seeing the look on her mother's face she yanks the blanket up over her head. "Stupid berries!"
