Disclaimer: I do not own Slam Dunk or any of its characters.


Chapter 12: Losing… Winning…

I never had you, therefore I couldn't lose you

But why do I feel empty inside?

Everything has stopped. The smiles were gone. The little blush does not appear anymore. Her little cheers were now diverted stares. There were no more extra drinks and towel after practice on his locker. It was like everything never happened. And Rukawa Kaede could care less but he was wrong. He felt empty.

For the past weeks after his recovery, Rukawa tried to concentrate on basketball. Just basketball. Like he usually did. But he always caught himself stealing glances on their petite assistant manager. He noticed the little things she does. The way he smiles shyly whenever someone mention her. The way she unconsciously bite her lips when she's nervous. The way she cheers for the team members on the team members. Except him.

He continued his usual routine. Go to school riding his bicycle. Sleep a little in class. Sleep again at lunch break. And go to basketball practice. Although Rukawa doubled his practice time because official games are in a few weeks time. And to get her off his mind.

He occasionally saw her by the school corridors but Haruko doesn't even spare a glance at him. Inevitably, they meet at basketball practice every afternoon but she kept it in a very civil way. She approach him when it's necessary.

He knew that she was still seeing Ryonan High School's ace player: Sendoh Akira. He often overhears the two female members talk about him and their recent dates. There was also one time she saw them together, Sendoh and Haruko happily strolling side-by-side by the road. He was lucky enough to go the other way before the two love birds spotted him. That memory of them being together made Rukawa feel something churn inside. What was it? He didn't want to dwell with the idea.

-/-/-/-/-/-

Another team practice has passed. As usual the last person on the court was Rukawa Kaede. He was busy shooting hoops around the three-point area. He was well aware of another presence inside the gym but chose to ignore it. He continued shooting and dribbling fluidly. He knew Haruko was the only person left besides from him. He knew very well that she was blatantly avoiding him and she would just pass by like a wind as if he never exists.

A few minutes passed but there were no indication that someone went out. Rukawa stopped from his practice and faced her. But instead of Akagi Haruko, he came face-to-face with the least expected person who would endure his presence in one room – Sakuragi Hanamichi.

Rukawa was surprised to see him standing there. He was holding a ball in his hands and was not paying him any attention. He seemed like in a deep thought. Pft! Even a do'aho knew how to think. What a surprise. He scoffed inwardly. But what does he want now? Will he challenge him for another one-on-one? As if he could win!

He shrugged his shoulders and continued his shooting practice. He can't afford to waste his practice time trying to decipher what the do'aho wants. But when Sakuragi didn't say anything after few more minutes, Rukawa felt weird. He was not the type who would just stay quiet and would not even bring up a brawl between them.

"What did you do to Haruko-chan?"

Rukawa stopped shooting when he heard Sakuragi spoke. He stared at him. The red-head was clutching the ball tightly on his hands. He was obviously fighting the urge to hit him.

So he's here to talk about her….

"Tell me, Rukawa!" Sakuragi bellowed. He shot him a death glare. He was really furious. But Rukawa was not one to back off. He also gave him his own version of death glare. "What the hell have you done to make Haruko-chan change? Huh?"

He noticed, too. Rukawa flinched inwardly. He still stayed silent without breaking his glaring contest with the red-head. He has no obligation to explain himself to Sakuragi. Or to anyone.

"ANSWER ME!" Sakuragi roared with rage. He harshly threw the ball on the floor making it bounce in mid-air as he made his way to Rukawa and pulled him by his collar. "I noticed how Haruko-chan avoids you! I also noticed how she never smile like before! So tell me, what the hell did you do to her!"

It caught Rukawa off-guard how much he noticed but he didn't let it show on his face. He just remained silent and glared at Sakuragi more.

"It's none of your damn business, do'aho," he said in a nonchalant tone masking his own rage. It made Sakuragi tighten his hold on his collar that it almost rip but Rukawa continued to stand his own ground.

"You don't know how many times I wished to be in your place," he uttered with an edge in his voice. "You don't know how many times I for her to look at me, the way she looks at you." Slowly, Sakuragi loosened his grip on his collar until he let him go. "You don't know how much she cares for you…." Rukawa saw different emotions on his downcast eyes. Sadness. Pain. He really likes Haruko.

Rukawa blinked and realized what the red-haired do'aho told him.

You don't know how much Haruko-chan cares for you….

Is he serious?

"Do'aho." He spat at him. He didn't know why he likes provoking him. It just comes naturally since the very beginning of their meeting.

"Teme, Kitsune!" Sakuragi lunged at him and was ready for another assault but he stopped himself. He just fisted his hands and turned to go.

"I don't understand why Haruko-chan likes you…." Sakuragi muttered more on himself than on Rukawa. That remark made Rukawa flinch again. Haruko likes him? Then why does she continues dating Sendoh?

Sakuragi looked at him straight in the eye. "I don't know why she continues to date Sendoh," he uttered as if reading his unspoken question. "But if you continued being a jerk, I think it's better for her to have Sendoh than a cold-hearted bastard like you." With those words said, Sakuragi turned to go and strode away from the gym leaving a flabbergasted Rukawa Kaede.

It's better for her to have Sendoh….

Those words echoed inside his head. Why did those words affect him so much? Why does he care anyway? Last time he checked, he didn't care about anything else except basketball. Be the number player. But why does the possibility of Haruko being with Sendoh bothers him so much? Wait. Haruko was never his in the first place. How can he lose someone who never belonged to him?

-/-/-/-/-/-

"What a beautiful day!" Haruko breathed in the fresh air and gazed at the blue sky. It was Saturday morning. She was strolling by the park with the two children of her neighbor. A five-year-old girl named Keiko and a six-year-old boy named Shin. Haruko volunteered to watch them while their mother was away to buy groceries in the market. The two kids were playing around the park near the open basketball court; wearing her usual strolling attire, a loose t-shirt, a mini short and her hair is loosely tied on one side.

Haruko watched the two kids chased each other, laughing out loud. Sometimes Haruko wished to be child again. Carefree. No complicated heart problems. She remembered Rukawa. In their last conversation, if that was called a conversation, she did all the talking. She asked him to stop being nice to her. To stop confusing her with his actions so that she would stop expecting more from him. She knew that he only has his sight on basketball. It was the only way for her to finally forget her feelings and for the pain to go away. He did stop; but the pain did not go away.

Avoidance was her way to mask the pain she feels inside. It was also her way to run away from him. She continued to see Sendoh to forget about Rukawa. Maybe with his help she might finally erase her feelings for the ice prince. Whenever she's with Sendoh, she felt happy but oftentimes her mind kept flying back to Rukawa. She always felt guilty about it and she swears she tries hard to really like Sendoh. If only she could teach her heart.

"Neesan!" Haruko's thoughts were broken by the kids' chatter. They were waving at her as they ran towards the open basketball court. She was about to follow them but she froze on her tracks when she remembered it was Saturday. Rukawa practices basketball on that court every Saturday. She hoped for all hope that he was not there. Haruko followed the kids but her fear was confirmed when she caught up with Keiko and Shin on the courtside.

BAM!

A slam dunk. Rukawa Kaede slammed the ball on the ring with power and gracefully landed on his feet on the ground. No matter how many times Haruko has seen him do that, it always left her breathless. Her inner fangirl, which she tried to hide everytime, squeaked in delight.

"Wow! That – was – cool!" Shin exclaimed in pure amazement while Keiko giggled. The noise made Rukawa turned to them. His eyes landed on Haruko that it made her cringed. Way to go for avoiding him.

Their eyes met. Blue clashed with blue. Suddenly everything around her shut down. It was as if it was only him and her. It was their first eye contact in weeks; she then realized how much she missed everything. She missed how the mere meeting of their eyes makes her heart flutter and how he makes her stomach churn, in a good way.

"That was really amazing!" Shin's enthusiastic voice broke her trance. Haruko immediately diverted her gaze from him and tried to stop the blush from appearing on her cheeks.

She panicked when Keiko and Shin ran towards the silent Rukawa and started pulling both his hands. It was a funny sight, two kids pulling a nonchalant Rukawa on both his arms, almost startling him. But it was not the right time for her to laugh. The two kids were chattering with him.

"How did you do that?"

"Can you play with us?"

"Will you teach?"

"Please….."

Haruko knew very well that Rukawa doesn't like being disturbed when he's practicing. So she has no choice but to make her way towards them to stop the two kids. Her heart was hammering on her chest like it was going to explode any time.

"Shin, Keiko! You know it's rude to disturbed someone, right?" She told them, trying to sound angry. "Gomen…." She turned to Rukawa but avoided his eyes. Haruko tried to pull the kids from him but they were persistent.

"But we want to learn basketball from him!" Shin whined, clawing at Rukawa's right arm. Haruko cringed inwardly, seeing Rukawa's blank face.

"I want to play with him!" Keiko added, she clutched at Rukawa's other arm. There's no way Rukawa Kaede would play with kids. She tried to pull them away from him to no avail.

"Alright." She froze when she heard him spoke. Her eyes widened in surprise and her jaw dropped. Did, did he just agree?! Keiko and Shin was jumping up and down in happiness.

"Uhm…." She mumbled, she wanted to confirm it but Keiko beat her to it.

"What's your name, niisan?"

"Rukawa Kaede." He answered blankly.

"Nani?" Keiko gasped. She let Rukawa's arm go. By that time Haruko wanted to pull those kids away from that place. Away from Rukawa Kaede.

"It's you!" Shin let go of him, too. "Haruko-neesan always talked about you!"

OH, NO! Haruko was really embarrassed. Her face turned red all over. She saw Rukawa stared at her with his piercing blue eyes. It made her shiver.

"You're Haruko-neesan's boyfriend!" Keiko exclaimed.

For a split second, Rukawa's expression was stunned but he covered it immediately and turned his head the other way.

Please ground, swallow me now….

Or please someone shoot me!

"He – he – " Haruko stuttered, she wanted to deny the allegations of the two kids but Rukawa turned to the court and started dribbling the ball. It excited the children and they, too, happily followed him. Maybe he doesn't care. She shrugged her shoulders and watched the three play on the court.

It was an awkward sight. The nonchalant ace player of Shohoku was playing with two excited kids. She suppressed a laugh when the two kids tackled him to the ground while he was trying to teach them the basic dribbling. They were more interested in playing around than seriously learning the how to play the game. Haruko was amazed when Rukawa didn't show any bad side to the kids, sure he was not laughing with them but in was also not his usual indifferent manner. It was refreshing to see.

"Neesan! Join us!" Keiko pulled her to the court. "It's fun!" she stood there awkwardly, but Rukawa passed the ball to her which she caught automatically.

"Two-on-two." He told her.

"Two-on-two?" Haruko blinked at him, disbelieving. Is this really Rukawa? he's acting weird. Nevertheless, she agreed on it and divided in duo. Team 1: Haruko and Shin. Team 2: Rukawa and Keiko. No matter where to look at it, team 1 was the losing side. Rukawa's still a basketball prodigy.

They started playing, to her disbelief; Rukawa did not use his real strength. He leveled it to the standard on the kids. It was another side of him that Haruko saw that day. It was like a passing the ball game instead of basketball. Without realizing it, as the game goes by, she forgot about her anxiety on avoiding Rukawa. She enjoyed every moment of it, she laughed with the kids every time they made a basket. There was also a time where Rukawa held Keiko up to dunk the ball. It was fun even though the ice man did not laugh like them, she caught a little smile grazed his lips even just for a moment.

"That was really fun!" Shin chuckled after almost an hour of their game. They were already sitting on a bench near the court.

"I'm so happy to have met you, niisan!" Keiko told Rukawa who remained silent. "Let's try this again, ne?" Haruko looked at him and saw him nod his head. Wow. He really is out of character today!

"You – " Haruko was about to say something when the mother of the two kids appeared from nowhere.

"Okaasan!" Keiko and Shin chorused.

"Thank you for watching over them," their mother gave her gentle smile. She also gave one to Rukawa. "I hope they didn't bother you." She remarked with a knowing smile, giving them meaningful stares. It made Haruko blushed understanding the hidden meaning of it.

"N – no… of course not!" Haruko fidgeted.

"Alright, see you around," the kids' mother waved her hand, laughing. She held Keiko and Shin's hand and turned to go. The two kids bade them goodbye with cheerful smiles.

When their company was gone, it left Rukawa and Haruko in awkward silence. They sat next to each other on the bench without saying anything. What should I do? Haruko thought nervously. She glanced at the quiet guy beside her. His back was resting on the backrest and he leaned his hands on bench. Haruko jolt on her seat when she felt his left arm touched her right arm. She tried very hard to suppressed her fluttering heart but his presence was domineering her composure.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Haruko told herself.

"Boyfriend, huh?"

Rukawa's voice made her almost jumped on her seat.

"Huh?" she gaped at him. he was not looking at her, instead his attention was on the clear blue sky.

"Boyfriend," he uttered, turning his attention to her.

"Eh? Gomen… it was just a misunderstanding…." Haruko's voice faltered, she looked down on the ground. She couldn't meet his eyes. She just can't. It's embarrassing!

"I know…. I'm not your boyfriend," Rukawa told her. It was the truth but hearing him say it, pricked her heart.

"I'm – "

"Why do you care about me?" Rukawa's question made her looked up at him. He was staring straight at her eyes, their close proximity made her breathe hitched. His eyes were not blank like they used to, they were filled with something she couldn't name. Haruko opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

"I – " she muttered but Rukawa's unexpected action caught her off-guard. He ran his pointed finger gently in the middle of her forehead going down to her nose and stopped to side of her cheek. Haruko held her breath as their eyes met. Rukawa's face was slowly inching his face towards her. Is he going to kiss me? Her mind was screaming. The turn of events was astonishing for her. She sat there frozen as the space between them slowly disappear.

If winning every game is the way to have you

Then I'll keep on playing

Until I make you stay…


To kiss or not to kiss?

hehehe... XD