Thanks for your nice reviews. When I read the previous chapter I want to kick myself for not taking more time in certain places (mainly the juicy bits.) Oh well, maybe I was saving some for later. :p
I guess you know when it takes me a long time to update, it means I'm working on a long chapter and this one is another long one. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.
Kain silently walked through the underground tunnel leading out of the shelter. It was pitch black, but his eyes easily picked out every detail along the rocky walls and ceiling. The fact that vampire hunters had come so close to catching them, a mere forty miles away, was something he just couldn't let go. His first thought was that they had been watching the roads leaving town and that he had simply been too exhausted to notice, but that explanation just didn't sit right with him. It was too simple, too unlikely.
Coming to this shelter may not have been the safest thing after a confrontation so nearby, but it had been the closest and fastest way to hide, truly the best option at the time. During their hike here he had decided to continue with the original plan. Seiren was supposed to make contact with him. Within the first two weeks she had said. It may not have been entirely safe for them to stay here too long, but he wanted to wait until that first contact, get a message to Kaname that they might need to leave.
His eyes scanned the rocky surface of the tunnel.. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, some kind of message, perhaps a sign that somebody had been here. Seiren hadn't said how she would make contact with him, whether she would send someone else or possibly leave a note. Hopefully, she would speak to him in person.
Kain thought of this as a small test for Kaname. If he had any true concern for their well-being, he would send Seiren herself to meet with him. She was a vampire who could stealth her way past searching vampire hunters. Any other course of action could put Ruka in further danger.
Ruka. Just thinking of her brought on mixed feelings of anger, confusion, and worry. He hadn't even caught a glimpse of her in the past few days. The only confirmation that she was even still there was the occasional sound of movement from her room. During the day, he would lie awake on the sofa, listening to her light footsteps sneak to the bathroom followed by the sound of rushing water from the shower.
It seemed that after kissing him, she had developed such an aversion that they couldn't even be in the same room.
Kain stopped and closed his eyes, replaying that night's events in his mind. From the moment he'd stepped into her room, he had been unable to look away. Throughout the years that he'd known her, he'd seen her in everything from her lacy nightgown to her black silk evening dress that made enticing swishing sounds as she moved, but never had she looked so adorable as she did in those little shorts and men's shirt, loosely tied over her flat stomach.
From the way she had shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, he knew that she must have sensed his desire to close the distance between them and touch her in ways that far surpassed the boundaries of friendship. For so many years he had been carefully treading that fine line between friendship and intimacy, only touching her when acceptable: a hug, a pat on the back, an occasional arm around the shoulder. Subconsciously, he had probably always been searching for excuses to touch her, but she had never acted strange about it until now.
He had been eying that alluring strip of bare skin revealed by the way her shirt had been tied just above her navel, and when the opportunity came, he took it, offering to lift her while foolishly telling himself he had no ulterior motives. Then his hands had come in contact with her cool skin, and all of his control had slipped away.
Oh Ruka. She had no idea that she was playing with fire when she had innocently placed her lips against his. Shock had been his first reaction, followed by bliss, then resulting in an animalistic lack of control.
Hell, how was he supposed to control himself when she moved against him like that? The fact that her touches had been innocent and shy only increased their potency. Each tentative brush of her tongue had sent him falling deeper into a mindless state of arousal and adoration. It was only a matter of time before the intensity of his lust frightened her.
But he wasn't the only one who had felt it. Her reaction had been naively open, and if he hadn't sensed her quickening heartbeat he would have managed to pull away. Just the thought that she may feel even a fraction of the attraction for him that he felt for her made his heart soar with elation. Something that had always seemed so far away had finally come within his reach.
As usual, his first reaction was to blame himself for the way it had ended, but he was far too analytic to believe that. He had gone through the events over and over again in his mind, and there was no denying that she had kissed him back and with a fervency that matched his own. So, what had gone wrong?
Confusion didn't even begin to describe his state of mind. The instant transition from a passionate kiss to the horrible sound of her sobs completely baffled him. At first he had been horrified that he might have hurt her, silently standing outside her door for almost an hour and wondering if he should go back in.
Eventually, he had decided to give her some time alone. Then, each passing hour had brought on a new set of emotions. He wondered if her decision to kiss him had been some kind of experiment, an innocent girl wanting to test the waters of sexual interaction. The thought made him feel used and exposed. She had drank his blood, seen his thoughts, knew that he wouldn't refuse. Maybe he would have to explain to her that he couldn't do anything like that if it didn't have meaning, not with her.
Kain's hand trailed along the rough edge of the rocky cave wall as he headed back towards the shelter. It appeared that there would be no message from Kaname tonight. It didn't matter. There were still four more days until the two week deadline was up. In the meantime, he would have to approach her, get her to speak. Their time here would be impossible if she couldn't even see him.
The underground house was dead silent as he returned through the hidden door. There were still no signs that Ruka had ever left her room. Underlying all of his mixed emotions, he had felt worried about her spending so much time alone. Ruka was quiet and composed but never reclusive. Also, she was anything but a coward. He had fully expected her to be the one to approach him, to bravely confront whatever it was that made her react the way she did.
His worry increased and his patience wore thin. Waiting more than three days was too much to ask. He needed to see her at least once, just to know that she was okay. It would be better if she could speak to him about it, but even if she was angry or scared it would be enough to sate his anxiety.
As usual her door was closed shut. He didn't knock at first and instead listened intently for any sign that she was inside.
Nothing.
That was odd. It was the middle of the night. She shouldn't still be asleep.
He gave a few soft knocks. "Ruka, are you up?"
No response.
He raised his voice slightly attempting for a firmer tone, "You can't avoid me forever."
Still no answer. Kain held his breath so he could listen carefully without the sounds of his own breathing. If she was asleep he would be able to pick up soft even breaths and the murmur of a beating heart, but not a single sound came from behind the door. He calmed himself before his imagination got carried away. She was probably outside on the small balcony and couldn't hear him over the waterfall outside. As a vampire, that was difficult to believe but it was entirely possible.
Knowing the door didn't have a lock, he casually turned the knob and stepped inside. The room was pitch black but he could see that the sliding glass door was partially open, letting the sound of streaming water fill the room. He flipped the light switch and gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the quick change, briefly noticing that she had finished painting the walls. Thinking that she had probably just stayed in her room in order to finish painting, he let himself relax and moved towards the balcony.
When he had just stepped past the bed, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He was shocked to find her sitting next to the bed. Her legs were pulled to her chest and her head was buried in her knees. It was the exact same position she had been in that night he had left her and he was crushed with the thought that nothing had changed.
Now, he could hear the faint beating of her heart, but it seemed that she was holding her breath. "You still don't want to see me." He said, trying not to let the fact that it pained him come out in his voice.
She didn't voice a response, but nodded slightly, still hiding her face from his gaze. Seeing her so fragile and upset in nothing but a sleeping gown that only came to her knees increased his concern exponentially. If only she would talk to him, but he knew from experience that she would only speak in her own time. No matter how much he tried to force her, she wouldn't open up until she was ready to.
Still, he needed to hear some kind of confirmation that if he left she would be alright, even if it meant another three days of loneliness. "I will leave if you tell me to." He said sadly. "But at some point we'll have to get passed this."
She didn't respond, but he noticed a slight tension in her shoulders. The stiffness seemed to contrast with her exhausted posture. He got the sense that she was drained, perhaps emotionally. The idea made him feel like he was being a nuissance, here bothering her when she so obviously wanted to be alone.
But he couldn't let it go. He so desperately wanted to reforge their friendship. It was clearly apparent that she didn't want him the way he wanted her, but if he lost her in even the slightest way he felt that there was no way he could go on. As always, he felt that friendship was far better than nothing.
"Listen, Ruka." He started. "We both know what you saw that night when you drank my blood, but it doesn't have to come between us."
As she remained silent, he swallowed down a thick lump of emotion, not wanting to continue but knowing he had to. "I've felt this way for a long time. It's..not something that you have to worry about." Unable to look at her small form, his eyes fell to the floor. "I would never...do anything you didn't want me to, but the other night I got carried away."
As she remained pale and still, he felt himself become increasingly uncomfortable. Could she not even respond to him? It seemed that she was even more disgusted with him than he had anticipated.
"Ruka," his voice came out in a whisper. "At least look at me."
"I can't." Her shaky voice was broken and strained, muffled by her knees. Even though she had only uttered two words, he allowed himself to feel a small measure of relief that she was finally acknowledging his presence. As a moment of silence passed between them, her tension seemed to increase and he noticed that her knuckles were white as she tightly grasped something in her hand.
"What do you have there?" He asked, taking a step towards her.
"No." She stiffened considerably, as he moved. Her voice raising with a hint of fear. "Don't come any closer."
Despite his normal composure, he found himself becoming increasingly frustrated. "Am I so repulsive to you now?" He asked.
She shook her head, wavy strands of chestnut hair sweeping along her legs. "No, Akatsuki. That's not it."
That statement relaxed him considerably, and his voice softened. "Then, can you at least tell me what's bothering you?"
"I can't be around you right now." Her voice shook with desperation.
The right thing to do was probably to just leave her alone, but his heart went out to her. He hated seeing her like this and just couldn't let it be. "Look at me, and tell me to leave and I will go." He stated, hating the fact that if she did as he asked he would have no choice but to follow through with that promise.
Apparently, it was too much to ask, because she only became more tense, closing in on herself as if wanting to become even smaller than she already was. What the hell could be bothering her so much? Was she sick or in some kind of pain? Nothing about this made any sense, and he took a moment to study her. Again, his eyes trailed to her small hand, tiny fingers straining around something in her grasping fist.
Worry overcame him and he moved closer, taking slow silent steps as if approaching a small injured animal. "Let me see what you have in your hand." He said, trying to keep his voice steady and gentle as his approach made her breath quicken in apparent fear.
Slowly, he kneeled down next to her, picking up her sweet scent and seeing that her skin had become a sickly white color. As gently as possible, he took her small hand in his, ignoring the way his touch made her jerk in response. She may not want him anywhere near her, but there was no one else here. If somebody was going to help her, it would have to be him.
He had to pry the small tin box out of her hand, but he didn't have to use much force. It seemed that she was weaker than normal, unable to resist even the slightest amount of pressure.
The box had a lid that slid open to the side. It was filled with little white pills, at first he had a choking sense of fear, worrying that she intended to do something irreversible. But upon analyzing the pills he realized they were only blood tablets. Still, why was she clutching them like they were her lifeline? It didn't make sense.
"You have been taking these right?" He asked, almost to himself, as his mind tried to make sense of the puzzle.
"It doesn't matter whether I take them or not." She said with a hoarse laugh lacking any trace of humor.
She was speaking to him, but still hiding her face from his gaze. It was then that little things started to add up, her pale skin, her too faint heartbeat, her quickened short gasps of breath.
"Let me see your eyes, Ruka." He said it like a command, letting her know that he wouldn't take no for an answer.
Finally, she lifted her head from her knees but she kept her eyes closed and turned her face to the side. He could now see the tension in the lines of her face, her jaw clenched and her lips thinly sealed. As he tried to brush strands of hair aside from her cheek she brought her hand up in a failed attempt to roughly push his away.
"Why do you need to see? It's obvious that you've figured it out." Her voice was low, scornful and condescending.
Kain took a steadying breath. So, it was true then. She was thirsty, possibly even to the point of starving herself if her weakness was any indication.
"When was the last time you took any of these?" He asked insistently, finding himself angered that she would let herself get to this desperate state. Was she trying to starve herself to death? Not taking blood in any form was dangerous, and the thought that she would do so on purpose frustrated him.
He took a couple white tablets out of the box, grasped her by the wrist and put them on her palm. "Take them." He said curtly.
Her head drooped weakly, as thick waves of hair covered her face from his vision. The salty scent of tears permeated the air. "There's no point." Her voice came out with choked finality.
Kain went rigid, hearing confessing words that confirmed his fear. "Ruka, I am not going to let you starve yourself. If you won't take these tablets then you will drink from me."
His heart skipped a beat as she slightly swayed to the side, then went limp as she seemed to pass out from hunger. Swiftly, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, forcing her to sit upright. Her head fell back against his arm, too heavy for her neck to support. It took half a second for him to take in her features: white skin pulled tightly against her cheekbones and lips almost blue. For the first time in his life, Kain panicked. God, if he didn't do something now he would lose her forever, and all because of he had left her alone for so long.
He propped her back against the side of the bed, letting go of her just long enough so he could pull his sleeve back from his arm before having to quickly grab her around the shoulders again to stop her from falling over. As her head toppled to the side, he pulled her so her back leaned against him then pressed his wrist against her cold lips.
"Drink." He ordered urgently.
Her eyelids fluttered as if she had heard him, but she fought him, turning her head away from his arm. It was amazing that she could resist even as her conciousness slipped away, but it only made his fear worsen as the thought of losing her caused his heart to stop. How could this have gotten so far without him even noticing? He had been a complete idiot leaving her alone for so long!
Without hesitation, he bit into his own wrist not even grimacing at the bitter taste of his own blood. The thick wet substance dripped down his arm, staining his shirt as he brought his wrist back to her mouth.
If this didn't work he wasn't sure what he could do. Maybe it would be better if he tried using tablets and water, but he wasn't even sure if tablets would work fast enough. Fresh blood would revive her and he needed to find a way to make her drink. Did he have time to put some in a glass and force it down her throat? It sickened him that it had come to this, but he would do whatever was necessary.
He pressed his wrist slicked with blood against her closed lips, shaking her limp body when she didn't respond. "Drink Ruka!" He tried to get through to her.
He had to place his other hand on her clammy forehead to keep her still, pressing his wrist against her mouth with more force than was probably necessary. As the dark red liquid covered her lips, she finally responded. It was like watching someone wake from the dead. Her eyes opened wide revealing their blood red depths, and her fangs lengthened considerably. Then, her chest heaved with a deep wheezing breath before before she savagely bit into his wrist.
If he hadn't braced himself he would have cringed at the pain. He had subconsciously been prepared for this, somehow knowing that in her current state she wouldn't be able to control her instinctive vampire's bite. Finally, he let out a long breath of relief as he heard her swallow down thick gulps of his blood.
The way she drank now had nothing in common with the night he had taken her home from the club. Her hunger was too strong, her vampire nature taking over for her own survival. The pulls of blood from his wrist were rough and relentless, each one stronger than before. Her hands wrapped around his arm in a vice-like grip, holding him still with a physical strength he had never witnessed in her. He probably couldn't have pulled his arm away without hurting her, not that he wanted to anyways.
He found himself stroking her hair away from her forehead, and running his hand along her back in a comforting manner. In a gentle tone of voice he said soothing nonsensical things to her: that everything would be alright, that he would help her get through this. Seeing her fall to this level tore him apart. She should never be this thirsty, this desperate for sustainance. He wasn't sure how she could have let herself go like this but he planned to never let it happen again. If she was going to try this again then he couldn't let her out of his sight.
Her sucking became less insistent as the intensity of her thirst must have slightly subsided, but still she continued to drink. The earlier pain quickly diminished, leaving only the pleasurable feel of giving blood to the one he loved. He leaned against the side of the bed as dizzyness from blood loss mixed with pure pleasure rushing his veins overcame him. His hand that had been rubbing her back now wrapped around her stomach as he held her tightly against him. The room swayed back and forth, but he didn't pull away, knowing that she would have to stop soon but wanting to give her as much of his blood as he possibly could.
Finally, when it got to the point that his vision began to darken around the edges, he attempted to pull his arm from her grasp. She whimpered softly, as her fingers tightened around his arm. The sound filled him with regret that he would have stop her. He wished he could give her more after she had been starving for what was apparently a very long time.
He bent his head to whisper in her ear, taking a moment to breathe in her sweet lilac scent and bury his face in the softness of her hair. "That's enough for now, sweetheart. I can give you more later."
She must have heard him, because she stiffened as if surprised to discover what she had been doing and pulled her head away from his wrist. Even though he would have passed out if she would have continued to drink, he felt a distinct sense of loss as her mouth broke contact. Emotionally empty and physically drained, he tiredly rested his forehead on her shoulder letting the room slowly sway to a still.
He sensed her studying the injuries in his arm. It was true she had bitten him viciously, tearing through muscle and surely leaving bruises, but he knew she hadn't meant to. Besides, it would only take a few more moments before the wound would heal.
"I'm so sorry." She said, choking back tears. "I didn't want to do this to you."
Maybe he should have been angry at her for foolishly letting herself get to this point, but he was too exhausted, too relieved that he wasn't going to lose her. "I'll be fine." He said, lifting his head from her shoulder as he regained his internal balance. "It's you that I'm worried about."
Silently, she watched the bite wound heal, the flesh coming together and the bruises fading away. After what happened the last time he'd touched her he should have learned his lesson, but he couldn't bring himself to let go and continued to hold her, his forearm loosely touching her flat stomach, his fingers brushing her side through the soft silk of her sleeping gown. He tried not to notice that the thin fabric was almost see-through, showing curves and shadows in places that accentuated her feminine form. In nothing but a white sleeping gown she seemed young and angelic, making him want nothing more than to kiss her and show her just how much she meant to him.
It would have been nice to stay with her forever like this, in blissful silence, but he could no longer wait for her to speak in her own time.
"Ruka," he said her name softly, as he asked the question that was burning his mind. "Why are you not taking tablets?"
Her fingers lightly traced the vein in his wrist, running along the sensitive freshly healed skin. That single touch caused almost electric waves of desire to rush through him, forcing him to hold his breath in an attempt to maintain his sanity.
"I never stopped taking them." Her voice sounded distant, as she continued absentminded touch.
Kain suppressed a feeling of hurt that she would lie to him. Why even try? It was obvious that she hadn't been taking tablets, otherwise there was no way she would have come this close to dieing from thirst.
Rather than confronting her with this, he tried another question. "Then how do you explain what just happened?"
He hadn't told her his thoughts, but she figured it out on her own. "You think I'm lieing." She whispered as if talking to herself then straightened her back and let go of his arm. "What do you think? That I did this to myself on purpose?"
He could feel her becoming angry with him, and his jaw clenched with frustration. "Well what am I supposed to think? I don't see you for three days and then I come in here and find you like this."
She pulled away from him, and he had to force himself to let go. With an energy that strongly contrasted with her earlier exhaustion she stood up and walked away grabbing a robe from the closet. Unlike the thin silky robe she usually wore, this one was like a thick blue towel covering her completely. He was disgusted with himself for being disappointed and hid it by grabbing the box of tablets off the floor and taking two out.
His strength was drained, and his body required replenishment. Not caring how it looked, he threw both tablets to the back of his throat and swallowed them. After standing up and placing the box on her nightstand he turned to find her clutching the sides of her robe together and glaring at him with something that looked like... jealousy?
"You're lucky they work for you." She said coldly.
He shrugged off her anger, thinking that she was just lashing out after having her vulnerability to thirst exposed. "They'd work for you too if you'd take them like you're supposed to." He said nonchalantly as he lifted a glass of water off the table to help them go down.
"I have been taking them!" She exploded, almost causing him to choke on the water as he lowered the glass from his mouth. "I can't believe you would think so lowly of me! How can you honestly think that I would try to starve myself?"
Shocked by her sudden outburst, he found himself staring at her in confusion. "I don't..."
"They're not working." She interrupted him, uttering those three curt words between clenched teeth.
"Not working?" He repeated dumbly, forgetting about the glass of water in his hand.
"Do I need to spell it out for you?" She said condescendingly. "Ask me how many I've taken today."
He coughed uncomfortably, setting the glass of water back on the table. Dealing with emotional outbursts was not his forté. Never had he seen her this angry, and he wasn't sure how to proceed. "Ruka, it's just that this is a little hard to believe."
"Ask me!" She insisted, looking at him intently.
Kain let out a sigh, thinking he might as well play along. "Fine. How many have you taken today?"
"Twenty." She stated, "Maybe more. I lost count after fifteen."
His jaw dropped. Twenty? He'd never heard of anybody taking that many in one day. One was enough to subside thirst for at least six hours and the thought of taking more than a couple at a time was almost unheard of.
"Now, do you believe me?" She asked, her voice still dripping with venom.
"Okay," he said, trying to get control of the situation and keep her from becoming even more irate. "When did this start?"
She ran a hand through her hair, tucking wavy tendrils behind her ears. "I didn't notice until we got here, but I think it might have started earlier. Maybe even before all of this happened."
Kain took a minute to take this in. If this was true then she hadn't had any form of blood for almost two weeks. Not since the night she drank from him for the first time. It would explain how she had gotten to such a desperate level of hunger. Plus, hadn't he seen her take tablets the second they had arrived? Now that he thought about it, he remembered noticing the way she had quickly gulped them down with a huge glass of water. At the time he had thought her thirst was merely caused by the exertion from walking so far, but it had seemed strange that she had been so thirsty after only one day without tablets.
Still, there was a lot that didn't add up. "Why would they just stop working? It doesn't make sense."
She bit her lip and averted her eyes, "I told you before that I've never done this before. I think maybe it's from drinking blood for the first time."
Kain forced his feet to remain on the ground as the temptation to cross the distance between them and wrap his arms around her became almost too much to bear. He had known that she was raised on tablets, had cherished the thought that her first time drinking blood had been with him, but he couldn't fool himself into believing that this could somehow make her dependent on it.
"There are plenty of vampires who have drunk blood before and continue to take tablets." Including myself. He left that last part unsaid.
"I know." She said with defeat, lowering her gaze to the floor. "But it was the only thing I could come up with."
No longer having the strength to stop himself, he crossed the distance between them and placed a hand on her shoulder in what he hoped appeared to just be a friendly gesture. "It will be okay, Ruka. We'll figure this out."
"Maybe we should go back." She said looking up at him with large hopeful eyes. "Kaname must know something. I'm sure he could help."
Kain's hand fell to his side as she demonstrated her clear desire to be away from him and back with her beloved pureblood. It made him feel sick to his stomach and he tried not to let the hurt show in his eyes. If it would have been possible, he would have given her what she wished, even though it would have tore him apart after the things they had done together.
"I'm sorry. I can't take you back yet. You know it's too dangerous outside." He said thickly, wondering when he could possibly tell her about what Kaname had done. Not now, not when she was this upset and troubled. Later, he would find the right time.
She sighed in acknowledgment, but lines of despair creased her features. "I don't know what else to do Akatsuki."
"It will be fine." He said with more confidence than he felt. "We will go back eventually. In the meantime, I'll take tablets and you'll drink from me."
Her mouth opened with a gasp, but no words came out for several seconds. He knew she was probably disgusted at the thought of having to do this over and over again with him, but there was no other option. He gave her time to take in this information, and she eventually composed herself and raised her shoulders.
"I can't do that." She frowned, her rose eyes darkening. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Hurt me?" He almost laughed at the ridiculousness of her statement. The feeling wasn't even remotely close to pain. Besides, he had to admit that he kind of liked the idea of her getting blood only from him. It stroked his possessive tendencies towards her to know that he would be the only source of something she needed to survive. He could provide this for her, and she would depend on him for it. It was sly and selfish, but he couldn't help but enjoy the idea behind it.
"Ruka, it doesn't hurt at all." he explained. "Surely, you know that from experience."
Her face became struck with pain as if he had physically hurt her, and he could have kicked himself for being such an insensitive ass. "I'm sorry." He quickly apologized, in an attempt to cover his tracks. "I didn't mean that like it sounded."
"Didn't you?" she asked and then went on without waiting for him to answer, "You must think I felt ecstasy when I gave him my blood. Maybe I should tell you about it."
Kain inwardly cursed himself for bringing this up. Hearing about this experience was the last thing he wanted to know. He wasn't sure if he could take it. "You don't have to explain." He said quickly attempting to stop her before she told him much more than he wanted to know.
"It seems that I do." She looked up at him, lips firm with determination. "I know it hurts, because when I gave Kaname my blood it was...painful."
He had been prepared to tell her it was normal to enjoy it and instead found himself frozen with shock. He hurt her? His surprise ebbed away before pure rage overcame him. The pureblood was powerful enough, if he didn't have the heart to let her enjoy it he could have at least numbed her from the pain. Kain's hands tightened into fists as he pictured taking his rage out on Kaname. He could kill him for this, for hurting her when it was so unnecessary then treating her like some kind of stray. Actually, killing a pureblood would have been impossible but he sure as hell would enjoy trying.
The only thing that stopped him from revealing his rage at the pureblood, was the fact that Ruka was still standing in front of him, holding herself like she had revealed a dark secret and was now embarrassed that he knew. Kain suppressed the strong desire to cause pain to the one who had made her think that giving blood was some kind of physical sacrifice. She had no idea that it could mean so much more than simply replenishing one's strength. In a way, she had been violated, her only knowledge of the act itself coming from one painful experience.
He had always wondered what would have happened if he had stepped in that night, but had told himself that he couldn't stop her from doing what she wanted. Now, he wished more than ever that he could go back in time and reverse his decision. Maybe she would have despised him for it, but she would have forgiven him eventually. He could have protected her from this, prevented her from developing this unnatural aversion to vampire intimacy.
Having no idea how to explain that Kaname had done something unforgivable, he simply pulled her into his arms, wishing he could shelter her from the damage that had already been done. "It's not supposed to hurt like that." He said softly, bending his head over her shoulder.
He became more confident when she didn't pull away and found himself running his hands through her hair, unaware that he was pulling it away from her neck. With her so close to him, he could feel her soft heartbeat and he couldn't help but feel the temptation that came with being so close to her vein. He had always wanted to bite her, but never from a simple requirement for sustenance. Now, he pictured himself biting her lovingly, holding her close while he tenderly sunk his fangs into her soft skin, showing her just how much she actually meant to him.
He stilled as he realized where his thoughts were heading. His fangs had lengthened and his throat had gone dry with anticipation. He would probably never have the right to bite her, but if he did he would be sure to make it a pleasurable experience for her, nothing like the painful sacrifice she knew.
Sadly, he pulled away. Even if he was allowed to bite her, he wasn't sure he would like what he saw. She was in love with another, and seeing that in her mind would make it all too real.
"You have to tell me when you get thirsty. Okay?" He said, managing to hide his lengthened fangs behind his lips.
She nodded, but he already knew that she wouldn't do as he asked. Her ability to restrain herself had astonished him and she would most likely continue to do so. At least now he knew why she hadn't approached him earlier. From now on, it would be up to him to watch her for signs, and take the initiative when it was time for her to drink. They normally took tablets every day but if she was getting fresh blood it wouldn't have to be quite as often. Vampire couples drank from each other every nigh, but she wouldn't want to do it that much. Probably she could make it by drinking once every few days, although more often would be better for her.
He only left her room after hearing her promise that she would get dressed and come out. In such a short amount of time, so much had changed in how he thought about her. She was stronger, braver than he had originally thought and even though he should have been thinking through so many still unanswered questions, it was impossible to withhold the thrill that came with the thought that she would drink from him again.
I always make Kaname seem like such a villain and I don't really mean to. All I will say is that there is a lot more to his role in this story than what you're seeing from Kain's perspective. And just by saying that I've probably revealed too much.
lol I'm going to shut up now.
Please let me know your thoughts! I cherish your reviews. ^_^
