"I understand this may be the opportunity of a lifetime for you but when do you plan to run Quidditch practice if you're spending today with Evans?" James had been collared at the breakfast table by Molly's fourth year brother Gideon, who played chaser for the Gryffindor quidditch team and was apparently unimpressed by James' lack of practice schedule.
"You know Gideon you're pretty mouthy for a baby fourth year." James attempted to assert his authority and received a glare in return.
"James we have our first match in two weeks...come on?" he pleaded.
"Gid I promise I'll schedule a practice next weekend."
"It's a Hogsmeade visit, Black will drag you off to flirt with Rosmerta..." Gideon rolled his eyes in such a way James fought not to laugh at his resemblance to his sister.
"Fine! This afternoon then...after I hang out with Lily, practice at twelve?" James gave in easily; he suspected keeping his 'non-date' with Lily short and sweet might avoid him saying something stupid.
"Thank you!" Gideon smiled and ran off; presumably to tell so many people James couldn't back out of the practice.
"James please don't ditch Lily the one time she allows you to spend time with her." Remus sighed.
"I won't ditch her, I'll just leave them wanting more!" James winked in reply.
"Plus Gid is right...next weekend is Rosmerta Saturday." Sirius was shovelling bacon in stacks onto his plate.
"Glad to see you've got over last night's Amelia Bones heartbreak." Remus snapped sarcastically, it was nearing full moon and it was taking its toll on his patience, he received a bacon crammed grin in return. Lily had spent a very pleasant morning reading under a tree behind the greenhouses and now strolled as calmly as she could towards the quidditch pitch, she was having slight second thoughts on her plans with Potter and she realised that her behaviour towards him was becoming less and less indifferent...harder to go back on. Lost in thought Lily had reached the edge of the pitch. She located Potter leaning casually against a stand chatting idly to a trio of fifth year Ravenclaw girls and debated turning around and leaving but Sirius perched precariously on James's broom a few feet above them spotted her and kicked James in the head. He turned instantly and beamed. As though planned Sirius hopped off the broom, handing it to James, and like a stick thrown for a dog he strutted away, girls in tow, pausing only to throw a wink Lily's way.
"Well good morning Miss Evans, need I say you look stunning as always?" James grinned.
"Don't get ahead of yourself Potter." she smiled not meaning it but James blushed slightly anyway.
"Right well, do you want to jump right in for a flying lesson?" She nodded uncertainly and James flashed a comforting smile. He helped her onto the spare broom, trying hard not to read too much into the way she tensed when he brushed her waist, then jumped onto his with ease.
"So just kick off from the ground firmly but not too hard." She did so and now the pair of them hovered around five feet up, Lily froze, staring at the ground made her stomach knot and it was more than a little unpleasant.
"Hey? Evans...look up." James suggested but Lily sat firmly unable to move. He took his hands off his broom, balancing naturally, and placed them gently on her chin pulling her face upwards till they were face to face. Kiss her kiss her kiss her echoed: the metronome inside his head. Lily exhaled and steadied herself.
"Sorry, I just panicked a little, I've never actually been in an aeroplane or anything...guess heights aren't my forte."
"It's fine, you're doing fine! Moony almost cried last time I got him flying." Lily loosened up with a laugh despite being certain James was lying to her.
"Hmm, okay so we're in the air...what happens now?" her voice still shook and James moved one hand down onto hers.
"Well in theory...movement?" He smiled cheekily.
"Okay maybe this isn't a good idea." She smiled nervously.
Yet Potter seemed more determined, within the hour Lily had steadied herself enough to fly without him holding onto her and by the time the rest of the Gryffindor team arrived she was whizzing in circles, James chasing her at a pace he deliberately slowed. She was obliviously relaxed until some idiot from the ground wolf whistled causing Lily to jump and look downwards knocking her balance, the broom tossed slightly downwards and a few feet before the ground James swept carefully down and seized her arm, artfully stopping her fall. Together they finished the descent and as she dismounted Lily brushed her hair back from her fiercely blushing face and checking self-consciously mumbled:
"Well that was embarrassing."
James smirked and ruffled his hair.
"Honestly Evans, most people's first descent is far worse."
"Great." she smiled obligingly at his second lie. "Well I'll leave you to your practice." Lily sped away as quickly as possible, avoiding the grinning, two headed monster of Sirius and Marlene.
"Lily wait?" James called after her. "This was fun, again another time maybe?" Without turning she yelled back:
"Maybe Potter...maybe." Smiling to herself smugly Lily strolled back across the pitch leaving James standing with two brooms, an addled brain and slightly wounded pride.
"Hard luck mate." Sirius strolled over with Marlene, both effortlessly cool in their quidditch kits, punched his arm with a laugh.
"No it was...great." He smiled in a daze causing mocking and laughter all round.
Lily spent the remainder of her Sunday in the library corner with Remus avoiding any contact with Mary, Molly or Alice, their fishing for gossip was exhausting sometimes and they weren't likely to shut up about James for some time.
"Remus are you okay?" Lily's face took the concerned expression it often did when Remus was involved. "You look really…" she glanced furtively around the busy room "…tired."
He smiled the sad smile.
"I'm fine."
"In a world where fine means every emotion but fine, I might just believe you." she smiled back and brushed his cheek soothingly. He flinched, swiping her hand from him.
"Lily, we both know it's not fine, nothing is fine. Every time, I'm just more likely to hurt someone but there's nothing any of us can do and so why don't you just DROP IT." Irrational anger shuddered through him and he watched the smile drop from Lily's lips, though curiously her eyes lost none of their gentleness or understanding. She wasn't upset, just sympathetic. Lily didn't blame Remus, but he blamed himself. "Lily I'm really..."
"Come off it Remus, it's fine." she smiled. "Fine" really was the universal code for 'nothing we can do about it.' Remus rubbed his face in frustration. The eyes too old for the face, shadows and creases left by normally forty years' worth of worry, stress and pain, accrued by Remus in just sixteen years. Everyone felt the same about Remus, understanding, sympathetic but helpless. Every summer his parents tortured him with 'cures' and every month the boys did all they could to make him feel as comfortable as he could although Lily had a suspicion that James and Sirius enjoyed their friend's affliction more than he felt comforted by. She reached across the table persisting in hold his hands which burnt with warmth but she couldn't reach across the isolation.
"Well Evans, not cheating on your arrogant prick boyfriend with this scum are we? That's a step down even for a prudish muggle-born like you." Lily tensed, Bellatrix's voice had a sharp quality to it which pierced the skin and made one feel as though her insults crawled around the flesh. She glanced up at Remus and they both ignored the taunts. "Oh come on don't be boring Evans! What happened to 'hexing me so hard I wouldn't understand up from down'" she cackled. "I love your pitiful threats…you make my day you know? PURE entertainment, ironic of course given that you're a repulsive little mudblood."
Remus placed his hand on Lily's as though they could calm each other down and Bellatrix moved closer, Mulciber, Lestrange and Avery blocked the gap between book cases and she leaned between the two sitting.
"Bellatrix, what is your problem?" Lily shuddered but remained calm. "Honestly I get no fun out of this weird hatred between us and I believe James informed you that we were all finished with you so I would appreciate it if you just left us alone, please." Bellatrix barked a laugh and muttered close to Lily's ear.
"I also believe your little Jamesikins had a run in with a few of my friends and didn't fair too well. Pretty little slash he's wearing on his cheek now. Shame it wasn't his chest but you know what they say, if at first you don't succeed, next time he might stay and fight rather than running like the conceited coward he is."
"How can he be the coward Bellatrix? It was what…six to one? Even by your standards that's pretty pathetic." Her voice quivered a little and it occurred to her that, despite it being insignificant, she was too scared to be loud in a library.
"Oooooh, defending him are we Lovebug? You think you're special Evans? You believe all the crap he spouts about you being the only one for him? This is James Potter, he loves himself so much there's no room for others. Do you know I saw him the other night?" her voice took on a whiny romantic tone. "Out on the Hogwarts bridge in the moonlight with my little sister Annie…" Lily frowned, it would mean nothing to her if James hadn't actually admitted to walking out to the bridge in the night recently, and she'd heard him pass a message to Sirius from his cousin Andromeda. "I wonder Evans, do you think he told her he loved her? Wouldn't be the first time he's lied to get a girl. Or did he just go for a 'walk' to a broom cupboard with her, simple as that. Well as much as I'd hate that idiot in my family tree, at least he'd be marrying into a decent blood line and not diluting proper, magical blood with you and your disgusting, muggle family. I bet they hate you don't they Evans? Your family must pretend to be so proud but they don't understand you, they're so grateful when you leave to come here, they can live without fear that you'll accidentally curse them. Oh poor baby Evans, a freak in your own home town and a freak here."
"Shut up." Remus snapped at Bellatrix but she cackled incessantly.
"Anyway I've no time left now, I can't be exposed to either of you much longer or I'll catch a condition like yours Lupin or just lose any magical integrity I've maintained in this muggle vermin hole." She spat in Lily's hair and as Lily stood up filled with rage Bellatrix caught her off guard flicking a book up into Lily's face, grinning grotesquely as she left. Remus exhaled slowly.
"Lily I'm so so sorry are you okay?" tears burnt Lily's cheeks however much she resisted. "I can't believe I just sat there Lily I'm sorry I couldn't think of anything to do but ignore her until she lost interest."
"Don't worry about it Remus, it's not your fault obviously. Can we just go back to the common room? Please?" her voice was weak and she couldn't focus on work now.
"Of course." He smiled and quickly planted Lily's books back into her bag placing it on one shoulder and his own on the other and taking her hand. They left the library and Lily waited outside a Muggle Studies classroom while Remus ran in to ask a question about his assignment. Leaning against the cold, stone wall Lily heard the distinct voice of Bellatrix again but in a hushed tone.
"No, nobody else is coming, it's just us…shut up Snape!"
She turned her head in time to see Bellatrix, Lestrange and Sev slip into a corridor behind a tapestry, they hadn't seen her and she couldn't resist the leading tone of their conversation and padded down the corridor until she was in earshot. Remus found her after barely a minute and she decided not to tell him what she'd heard, James would find out and take it upon himself to investigate. Lily walked numbly, committing the few details she'd heard to memory. The three Slytherins were meeting "him" in Hogsmeade on Saturday. Lily had no time and no location but she could guess who "he" was…and the probable Death Eaters meeting him so close to Hogwarts seemed like a terrifying idea. She needed to know what they were planning; she could tell Dumbledore, protect everyone and have Bellatrix expelled all in one fell swoop. And providing she didn't get caught there was nothing to lose if she didn't find out anything too interesting. Her head spun with plans, the least sensible she'd expect herself to imagine.
"Oi swatters, you'll be late for dinner." Lily's thoughts smashed and fell in front of her face as Sirius was striding towards them with a grin and Lily caught a glance of James as he frowned suspiciously at the hands joined between her and Remus. She remembered what Bellatrix had said about James and Andromeda and how he couldn't ever really be loyal to anyone, Lily knew of occasions where he'd been charming and one track with girls in her year until they fell for him and then he lost interest. She pushed the thought from her head, telling herself there wasn't room for it or him just now, but she still felt her pulse quicken as she saw him, anger and jealousy she assumed.
"You okay Evans?" Sirius asked before James had the time to stop staring at Remus with a look of confusion.
"Yeah I'm always okay." She smiled seeing Sirius raise his eyebrows at Remus who mumbled 'Bellatrix' as a simple explanation. James stepped towards Lily but she shifted her weight back away from him a little and Sirius hovered for an awkward second before throwing his arms round Lily and joking to James that it was his cousin and his rescue to make this time. Lily walked with Sirius ahead of the others.
"Thanks Padfoot."
"Right, Evans, what's up? You looked at James like you were ready to kill somebody. What has my delightful cousin said this time?"
"I'll tell you later, it's honestly not a big deal." She smiled unconvincingly.
"Lily if it's enough to stop you for even a second it's a big deal." He kissed her forehead and glanced back at James making sure he looked reassuring and didn't deliberately wind him up.
